Rent Boy - Chapter 11

September 13, 2007 · Filed Under Rent Boy

Table of contents for Ren Boy

Chapter 11

There is no death, only a change of worlds.

Native American Proverb

The morning broke through the darkened room, Gordon sleeping in the chair, his hand still touching that of Josh’s. The light made him blink and squirm in the chair as he opened his eyes to see the day’s beginnings. His heart still ached, but he felt that at least now he had a chance to still make it right. The pendent still lay in Josh’s hand, the tiny silver trinket that somehow had shone beyond its worth last

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night.

He shook his head, not sure if what his mind was telling him really happened. There was no explanation for it, but something had foundits way into his soul to give him the strength and the words to say. Gordon stared down at Josh’s sleeping figure, seeing the dark bruises around the eyes, seeing the drawn cheeks as he breathed regularly. His heart ached for the young boy, and he knew that last night’s release was only temporary, for them both. They still had today to face.

As Gordon climbed into his bed, he thought about this last week, and how slowly and painful it had been. At times he thought Josh was coming around, least there was hope. Today he had actually eaten pretty normally, but other than dinner tonight, Josh had more or less stopped eating.

For the most part, Josh had remained sullen, his eyes never far from filling with grief, never far from hardening in some deep dark thought as he went through the motions of existing. Gordon had found him in odd places too, like he was searching for something.

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As Gordon crawled into his bed, he wondered if Josh would ever return to the vibrant young man who had first crossed his threshold. He also wondered if he would ever get over the feeling of despair that haunted him as he too walked the seemingly empty house.

Funny, he was so used to living alone, just him and Manuel, and yet ever since Billy and Josh had arrived that morning, the house had seemed fuller, more alive. Now, it seemed cold and forbidding, as if it, too, was in mourning for that sweet laughter that was Billy.

The door to his room opened and he turned his face to see the silhouette of Josh in the doorway. There was something different about Josh, the way he stood erect, not slouched over as he had been all week.

“Something wrong Josh?”

“No… Gordon… I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Well… uh… okay come on in.”

Josh moved into the room, his bathrobe carefully wrapped around his tall angular frame. He softly walked up to the bed, his eyes swivelling, taking in every aspect of the ornate bedroom that was Gordon’s.

“I am sorry Gordon… it is just that tonight, well, I just want some company… can I lay here with you awhile?”

Gordon felt a lump in his throat, the way the soft voice was pleading with him. He felt so needed at that moment, something he had never really felt before. His hands trembled slightly as he opened the blankets up, to let Josh slip in.

Josh tossed his bathrobe off, revealing his perfectly tanned body to Gordon’s aged eyes. There were still some bruises, visible even now a week later. Quietly and slowly he climbed into the large king sized bed and snuggled himself in, moving his lanky frame to lay against Gordon’s portly body.

He could feel the warmth of Gordon’s skin and he could even hear his heart skipping a beat as he wrapped himself up next to Gordon. Josh placed one arm around the massive chest of Gordon and nestled his head on top of Gordon’s shoulder.

“You feeling all right Josh?” Gordon asked softly, his arm wrapped around Josh’s thin shoulder. He felt cold, almost clammy like as if he had been in a cold sweat. His heart had skipped a beat as his body felt the young boy’s legs cover his, his arms move around his ample girth.

“Yeah, I just needed to be held, you don’t mind do you?”

“No Josh, I don’t mind, you know… Hell… you know how I feel about you… you get some sleep, I am here.”

“Thanks Gordon, I know you are here…”Gordon…”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for everything, okay?”

“Thanks? Oh… okay, well you are welcome my young friend.”

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“I mean it Gordon, you don’t know how much this last week has meant to me, your consideration and well… your friendship.”

“Hush now Josh… it really isn’t anything… you are a special friend… I only wish I could do more.”

“No… there really isn’t anything more you can or could of done. You have to know that.”

Gordon felt slightly uneasy with the conversation. It was difficult, there was so many emotions running through his mind at the same time. He could smell the shampoo scent from Josh’s hair that was nestled under his chin, and yet he felt strangely cold.

He didn’t understand it, Josh’s voice had a surprising strength to it, yet for the most part of this last week he had barely uttered two words together before breaking down in tears. Now he seemed to be at ease, calm and collected, almost like his old self again.

“I am always going to be here for you Josh… no matter what, you do know that?”

“Yes Gordon…”

They lay there, lost in the darkness, each with their own thoughts racing through their minds. Gordon felt uneasy, and yet finally his chest started moving in a steady rhythm. His eyes were closed; a soft whistle escaped his lips every now and then as he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Josh could feel the change in Gordon’s breathing and he waited. He counted the time left, waiting as he felt the steady rise and fall of Gordon’s chest beneath his head. He really wasn’t a bad guy, he certainly had changed, but then so had he.

Carefully, when he was sure that Gordon was fast asleep, he removed himself from his side, standing briefly at the side of the bed, looking down at the sleeping old man. He had done so much for them, for him and Billy. It really wasn’t fair to him, but he had no choice.

Softly he walked back to his room, where he stood at its threshold, looking at the dark room. He glanced to the bed, recalling how Billy had made him lay down then slowly undressed, then he saw the time when Billy had come home all beaten from a bad trick.

He could see Gordon bustling around taking charge to make sure Billy was comfortable, how he felt like it had been his fault that Billy was hurt. He could even hear Billy joking about it. Josh glanced over to the desk in the far corner, and remembered how they had sat there, planning their future together.

Slowly he walked over the desk, where he saw the pendent laying on the table. Beside it lay his note, and he glanced down, his hand running lightly over the high quality paper, and he saw his halting scrawl across the pure white vellum. Tears formed at the corner’s of his eyes as he reread what he put down.

It had taken him most of the evening to write, but he felt he had

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done it right. Everything that needed to be said was said in that letter. He picked up the pieces of paper and folded them in half, then stuffed them in the long envelope. As he pushed the paper inside, he felt a slight chill enter the room. He shivered briefly, as the tears started to roll down his cheeks.

“Soon, soon it will be as it was meant to be,” he whispered into the dark stillness of the night.

Josh picked up the pendent and brought it up to his lips. He felt it as he kissed the cold metal, a strange burning sensation flowed through his body and he shivered with the strange feeling. The tears rolled down but he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. He took the pendent and lovingly placed it within the envelope with the paper.

He thought his hands would be trembling by now, yet they were as steady as a rock, as he sealed the envelope and addressed it. He walked over to the bed, and placed it up against the ticking clock radio on the nightstand. Josh sighed deeply as his hand ran over the pillow where he and Billy had lain. He felt so at peace at this moment in time, he wished it had been like this.

Josh glanced upwards, as if he could see the stars or the heavens through the ceiling. Instead all he could see was the darkness, the deep dark emptiness that was his life. With methodical precision he proceeded to dress himself, putting on clean clothes and then he took the small razor from his bureau.

He looked at it for a few minutes, turning it over in his hand, then he looked around the room, seeing every spot one more time. One last look as he lay down on the bed, where Billy had lain in his pain that night. He could still smell his scent, his aroma wafted across his nostrils as he clenched his teeth and ran the sharp razor across his wrist.

The pain stung him for a moment. He hesitated as doubts came flooding in, then he saw Billy’s smiling face and he finished the job, doing both wrists and then he just lay there, his eyes closed as he waited for his chance to meet once more with the love of his life.

It was strange, the way he felt suddenly warm all over. The room was still black but he was sure he could see a small light in the corner. He opened his deep blue eyes and he felt like he was floating on a cloud. Nothing seemed to hurt, and he could feel no pain. His heart was pounding in a steady rhythm, yet he felt nothing. His chest didn’t heave with exertion, his ribs didn’t ache from the strain and he saw a dim shape coming into his vision.

“BILLY!” he cried out, and waited. “BILLY IS THAT YOU,” he cried out once more, waiting for the reunion he had sought.

He could feel himself standing, his body draped in a mist and he felt rather strange. He wasn’t dressed, his clothes had disappeared, and he stood in a swirling fog of gray. The shape at the end grew lighter, but

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it wasn’t like he had thought. There was no bright brilliant golden light,

no shining glow to guide him, just a shape in the darkness.

“Billy… Answer me… oh God, Please is that you Billy?”

“Yes… . You aren’t supposed to be here Josh.”

“Oh Billy. Thank God I have found you… why can’t I see you? You are in a fog… please come and get me Billy, I need you.”

“NO JOSHUA, HE CAN’T.”

“Who is that? Billy… help me I am scared. Who is that?”

The voice had echoed around him, the fog had risen and he could barely see the glimmering image of who he thought was Billy. He struggled to run, to raise his feet and move but they felt like they were encased in cement. He couldn’t move, he looked around, hearing the voice echoing like in a large empty room. He reached up to place his hands over his ears but they, too, refused to obey his brain.

“YOU MUST GO BACK JOSHUA,” the voice said.

“NO… I CAN’T,” he yelled back, desperate now in his quest to reach forward. He squirmed in the swirling fog, struggling to free himself.

“BILLY HELP ME,” he called out.

Suddenly the fog stopped its swirling and a deep golden light seemed to surround him. He glanced in every direction to see what was happening, panic gripping his heart as he struggled to free himself from the terrible grey fog.

“You are not meant to be here Joshua,” the voice said softly in his ear. He twisted his head but found no one there. The words, though soft, held a strange tone to them.

“I have to be, don’t you see? Who are you?”

“I am he who has no name,” the voice replied. “I am the one who knew you long before you were even a thought in your mortal parents minds, I am he.”

Josh felt himself falling to his knees as the words floated around him. He felt himself shaking, his body trembling as he struggled with his thoughts.

“Billy help me, please if you love me, help me now… please Billy,” he cried out, his head buried in his hands now, the fog calmed slightly. He could feel a strange warmth and yet he felt chilled. How could he have come this far and fail? Was this how God loved his children, after he made the ultimate sacrifice to reunite with the only love he knew?

“I do love you Josh, you must know that.” The voice was pained; the hurt evident as Josh tried to see into the light mist that shrouded his one time lover.

“Why can’t I see you?” he cried out.

“It is not your time yet to see him Joshua,” the voice commanded.

He was terrified, the loud voice had him cowering amongst the

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mist, yet somehow he found his voice and he stammered out his final plea.

“But I can’t go back, I can’t live without him, Oh Father, Please, I can’t live without him.” His voice trailed away and for a brief second he felt the light grow brighter, the shape grew harder in definition, and he could almost make out Billy’s hair.

“You are not alone my son,” the voice softly said, and once more Josh felt the warmth as it caressed his naked body. He felt a strange glow touch him and he lowered his hands from his face, to stare into a soft golden light that hovered over and around him. He could see the tall silhouette in the distance, knowing that was Billy.

“Please,” he pleaded, his eyes searching the light for the source of the voice.

“I am here Josh,” the silhouette said, the voice clearly Billy’s and he glanced over to see the shape come closer and stop. He reached out with his hand to touch him and felt a strange jolt pass through his body. He shook as he realized that he had reached his destination.

“You will see him when it is your time my son,” the voice spoke.

“I can’t go back, please.”

“I will be with you Josh. You have to trust me.”

“But Billy, oh please, let me stay, say something… please…”

“No, Josh, we had such plans, you and I.”

“But they are gone now. They left when you were taken from me, I can’t go on.”

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“You must, if you love me.”

“How? How can I go on when everywhere I look I see you, I see where we talked, where we kissed; and yet each time, I feel a hole deep inside of me, how can I go on?”

“By knowing that I am with you even now.”

“But you aren’t, oh Billy, I ache so much, it hurts… please, I just want the pain to go away.”

Josh could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks, his breathing was tortured and he could now feel his chest aching. His whole body quaked with his deep sobs as his heart pounded out its deep distress.

A gentle hand ran across his face, wiping away his tears and he stared up into a bright glow of light. He reached up with his hands and felt a strange, almost physical presence hold him. He was wrapped in the light now, his tears no longer flowing, the pain in his heart no longer ached and he felt like he was at peace. He stared out to see Billy’s shadow and he knew that he was smiling.

Slowly he felt himself being lifted off his knees to stand on his own two feet. The fog no longer menaced him, instead it seemed to comfort him as he looked long at the shadow that was Billy.

As he stared ahead, he saw the face change, the darkened shadow no longer hiding the face from him. He could see Billy’s dark hair showing through, a tinge of golden light behind it. Then the forehead took shape and he could see the small red mark by the left eye, the one he kissed briefly that night before Billy had left him for good.

The eyes came into focus, he could see the deep green eyes now, the dark eyelashes fluttered at him and his heart soared upwards. His whole body was glowing now, as he tried to reach out, yet knowing it was futile. Instead he just felt faint, almost to the point of collapse and yet he remained standing, supported by only a deepening golden light.

“I love you Billy,” he managed to say, his voice cracked and desperate. He knew he wasn’t going to be with him now, he knew that his time had not yet come.

“I love you Josh,” the voice said and then the eyes locked onto his. Billy’s dark green eyes narrowed in on the light blue eyes of Josh. They held each other, time no longer existing.

“I am so afraid Billy,” his heart said, and he could feel the answer coming to him from across the swirling mist.

“I know Josh, but I am with you.”

“I know, it is just… I don’t know how I can manage, I need you Billy, I need to feel you, to hold you again, I don’t think I can make it without that.”

“Close your eyes Josh, close them and listen to me.”

Josh did as the words ordered, he closed his eyes and leaned back into the golden light, the light that held him from falling downwards. He felt like he was floating now, brilliant flashes of light seemed to cross across his face and yet his eyes remained tightly shut. Suddenly he could hear the beat of another heart, and he knew that Billy was with him. He breathed a deep sigh and let himself fall further back, knowing that he would not be hurt.

“Yes, I see the Motel” he answered, the voice calmly guiding him in his vision

“Look there Josh, see… Do you see us?”

“Yes.”

“Look at me there Josh, see me waiting for you?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Can you smell it?”

“Yes, its that cologne you use, I can smell it Billy, oh God it is so sweet to smell that once again.”

“Reach out Josh, touch me … go on.”

Josh was hesitant, this was unreal. He knew that it had to be a dream, yet it all looked so real, so natural.

His eyes still closed, he hesitantly moved his hand outwards, reaching for Billy’s naked body that lay stretched across the motel room bed. He inched it slowly along the bed, actually feeling the soft cotton

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sheets, as his fingers moved closer.

“Come on Josh, don’t be afraid, touch me.”

“Yes.”

His fingers touched the warm flesh in front of him. He jumped back as they felt the soft skin that was Billy’s body. He could feel him, touch him and yet this wasn’t possible. How could he be touching someone who was dead?

“Go on Josh, don’t be afraid, touch me.”

Josh looked down, saw the shimmering flesh and he could feel the warmth rising up to greet his hand. Trembling, he reached out with his one hand, to touch what was surely an illusion, but as his hand grew closer he could feel the heat grow.

He reared back a bit, yet he could hear the voice telling him to trust him, and it was Billy’s voice. Once more he reached out, his fingers grazing the base of the erect penis, and he could feel the rough skin, the tiny harsh pubic hairs that were surrounding the large pulsing penis.

This couldn’t be, yet it was. He touched and felt a strong jolt of electricity pass up his arm. His fingers could feel a strange warmth as they gently brushed up against the hot flesh.

“Go on Josh, hold it,” the voice urged.

Josh wrapped his fingers around the thick pole, feeling it move under his touch, feeling the blood racing through it, and he felt his heart skip a beat. His breath was taken away as he realized he was physically touching Billy once more.

He brushed the large penis, running his fingers up the hard shaft, feeling the thick vein underneath pulse with each touch of his fingers. He could feel his own heart starting to beat in time with the pulse coming from the hot cock.

“Yes Josh, that’s it, kiss it Josh, kiss it.”

He bent his head forward, following the instructions being whispered into his ear. He leaned forward, pursing his lips and yet he couldn’t close his eyes. His blue eyes were focused on the rising flesh coming closer to his own face.

Josh could see every part of the huge throbbing penis. He saw each vein twitch as blood flowed in it, he saw every tiny hair around it, the way the skin was stretched and etched with lines and wrinkles. Everything was clear to him as his lips came closer to the fiery red eye that was the head of this pulsing penis.

Slowly his lips came closer, and as they touched the head he could taste a sudden saltiness. A searing heat flowed into his mouth down his throat and raced towards his heart.

He knew that taste, it was Billy’s pre-cum, a taste he had thought he would never have again and yet here he was, tasting it once again long after Billy had been lain to rest. The pain of his loss was present in

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his heart but it didn’t ache as much now; the taste and touch of Billy’s hot thick cock was slowing eating away at that pain, slowly driving it from around and from within his heart.

Josh could feel the heat growing inside of him. He kissed the hot cock again, tasting the saltiness around the head, feeling the heat from it course through his body. His limbs lost their feeling and yet his eyes watched the way the body started to shimmer beneath him. The whole flesh was like wrapped in a blanket of hot air.

He pulled back, fear gripping him as he watched the heat shimmer make Billy’s body glisten in his eyes.

“Look up Josh, look at my neck Josh.”

“I am scared Billy.”

“Trust me, now look up at me Josh.”

Slowly he did as he was told, he started to raise his head to stare up at Billy’s face. He took in the shimmering body as his eyes left the huge pulsing penis, he saw the thick bush that had been Billy’s pubic hairs, saw each strand of hair, nestled together. His eyes rose upwards, seeing how the treasure trail led him upwards to the soft pink belly button.

Josh saw the way the soft skin covered and swirled around to form the little hole that was Billy’s belly button. He remembered how he used to kiss it, drive his tongue around the edges, making Billy moan with pleasure and then how he would push hard with his tongue into the centre, making Billy squirm under his face.

Upwards his eyes went, to the flat washboard stomach that rippled with its hidden strength. The way Billy could flex them as he needed and how solid it felt to rest his head against the soft skin and feel the underlying strength that was his Billy.

His heart was dancing inside of him as it dredged up the memories of happier times. Of how much he had loved this wonderful person, of how much it had meant to him to be a part of his life.

Tears rolled down his cheeks unabated as his eyes moved upward to the chest, where dark hair swirled around in all directions. He was amazed at how tiny those hairs really were, and yet how dark they looked when taken in as one.

Upwards he went, and as his eyes took in the growing pectoral muscles, he stopped. He swallowed hard and his breathing became ragged and fear enveloped him. Shimmering it lay there, nestled between the two hard pink nipples of Billy’s chest. It glowed as his eyes focused on it, and he reared back, his mind reeling from the sight that had greeted him.

“How… no…”

“Yes Josh… it is.”

“But… No… I am afraid… oh God…”

“Come Josh, lay on top now… Don’t be afraid, I am here, as I

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always have been, come… lay on top.”

He looked back at the shimmering body that lay on the bed, and he felt his own legs slowly moving him from out of the swirling mist to climb onto the bed. He noticed that it wasn’t anywhere, it was just there: there was no floor, no walls, no lights, yet he could see as if it was high noon on a cloudless day on the prairies.

As he looked down, he saw his legs rest next to Billy’s legs, and then he witnessed them merge together. He couldn’t tell where his legs ended and Billy’s began. His body was slowly becoming a part of the one beneath him.

He glanced up to see the pendent shimmering in the golden light, floating upwards from the hard chest that was Billy’s. He moved himself up, feeling the fully erect penis push up against his rectum as he struggled forward, his hands outstretched to rest his weight, and yet he knew it wasn’t necessary.

“Look at me Josh,” the voice urged him.

Josh was scared. He didn’t know what was happening to him; he was petrified but yet the voice had him slowly raising his head upwards. He could see the firm chin, the tiny cleft in it that he loved so much when he had first found it, in one of his many explorations of Billy’s body.

Then he saw the beginning of his lips, the fullness starting to take shape as his eyes couldn’t stop moving upwards. He could see the hint of white behind the full lips, the perfect white teeth that used to nip at his own erect nipples, the way they would run along the edge of his cock as Billy would take him orally. It all flashed into his mind now, and he sighed deeply, recalling each and every time that he had kissed those soft lips.

Josh found his face moving forward and down, and before he realized it he was kissing the full red lips. He felt a sudden jolt in his heart, and he felt suddenly alive again. His body was arched upwards, but it slowly started to rest on the hot flesh beneath him.

He kissed gingerly at first, then with a mounting urgency as he delved further into the warm mouth. His tongue started pushing up between the firm lips, tasting the salt, the saliva that was there. It was making his heart beat faster as the lips parted to let him enter the cavern of the mouth. The tongue raced inwards, refusing to stop, as it was desperate to once more taste Billy’s mouth.

His eyes fluttered, as he could taste the warmth inside. Despite that, they refused to close, it was as if the eyelids were glued open and he saw the shimmering dark pools come into focus. He knew he was staring deep into Billy’s dark green eyes, but instead he saw himself, he saw his tongue reaching down the throat, tasting the walls. His heart seemed to stop once more, yet it was jolted back as the eyes reflected a deep

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shimmering pool before him. As his eyes delved deeper into the dark pool, he saw himself.

He could see himself lying prone on top of Billy, yet he couldn’t be sure where his body left off and Billy’s began. It was as if the two bodies were slowly becoming one single body. As he looked harder, he could see the pendent between them; it was nestled between their two chests, firmly pressing into his own flesh. He could feel the metal, not cold or forbidding, but warm and inviting.

Memories of their talks flooded his mind as he kissed deeply. He could recall the words as Billy outlined his dream for a house together with some land. How they would raise animals together and of him telling Billy how he wanted to be a business major so he could run a decent art gallery.

He could hear himself with excited breathe tell Billy about his dream to have a shop of his own, where he could even place his own drawings if he wanted. How he would love to be able to draw once again.

Josh could see the two of them sitting by Gordon’s pool in the late sun, as he tried to sketch Billy’s prone body. How he could never finish a picture of Billy, because they always wound up making love long before the picture could be finished.

As his tongue explored the walls of Billy’s throat, he could hear Billy outline his plans to get a cooking degree and maybe they could even open their own restaurant some day, and if Josh got his business degree, he could help manage it.

All of this passed before him in vivid detail as his tongue licked and caressed the inside of Billy’s mouth.

Josh found himself resting more and more on the prone body beneath him. His hands now moved down his own legs, and he reached behind him, to gently pry open his rectum, as he slid his legs up. He had no idea how he was doing this, or why, but he knew he had to.

Helooked deep into the dark pools, seeing the reflection of hislegs moving up, his own penis dripping with pre-cum sliding up the flat washboard stomach of Billy, and of Billy’s own large cock, now dripping its own milky pre-cum as his body lifted itself upwards.

“Yes Josh, yes… now is the time,” the voice whispered urgently into his ear.

Josh reached back, his one hand finding the hot pulsing cock and with surprising speed he was pressing it up against his rectum, feeling the smooth liquid lining his rectal canal.

He could feel Billy’s blood flowing in his body, all of it running through the arms, the legs, the chest, all of it racing towards that already blood gorged cock, and he leaned back, sending his buttocks back and down, taking the huge penis into his rectum in one giant push.

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Josh cried out in sheer joy as the huge cock penetrated him and dove hard and deep inside of him. He groaned loudly as he pushed down harder, sending the huge pulsing cock as far as it could go and yet he wanted more. He pushed even harder, desperate to take it deeper.

He was dizzy, his eyes were losing focus and he struggled to keep his presence. He needed to see it all and once more he found his eyes being drawn downwards towards Billy’s.

As he glanced down he shook with excitement. He could see it all reflected in the shimmering pools. He saw the two bodies joined now, and he could see that there was only the one being, not two shapes, just one single entity.

He could see the red pulsing heart of Billy slowing rising to meet another lowering itself. He could feel it, too, deep inside of him he could sense that his own heart was not the only beating thing inside his chest. His lungs were fully deflated and yet he had no trouble breathing.

His ears echoed to the sound of two hearts beating as one. His head focused as he saw the huge cock deep inside of him, the head buried deep up his canal. He could see the vein underneath pulsing with each stroke of not just Billy’s heart, but of his own heart.

He watched as he saw the huge head shimmer and glow deep inside of his rectum. He saw the tiny slit open wider, exposing the soft pink of the inside of Billy’s penis. He saw deep down the canal the coming white river of love.

It stunned him as he saw it come closer and closer, the pain in his heart no longer there, it was gone, his soul was set free and he was urging the coming river onwards.

His stomach muscles constricted themselves, waiting for the joy of sudden release. His eyes bulged open wider as he witnessed Billy’s heart flutter next to his own, saw the two hearts suddenly merge together just as the white river came flooding outwards.

He could see each drop of Billy’s cum as it came flooding out, engulfing his entire insides. He watched the river flow upwards, into his stomach and upwards. He swallowed hard, tasting the sweetness that was Billy’s cum.

His whole body was shaking now, as he could feel his own penis shooting its load of cum all between them. He could see it too, travelling all along the hot flesh that had no definition.

He trembled with the release of his own milk along with Billy’s. He could feel Billy trembling, and for that one second he knew he was one with Billy. He heard him cry out in joy as his cock continued to pour its love deep into him. He could feel the white seed travelling all through his body, being absorbed by his insides, filling every space with its heat and its love.

As the hot white cream filled his whole body, a sudden explosion

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of gold crossed before his eyes. He reared backwards from the brightness, feeling it engulf him. He could feel his whole body as if it had been set on fire. Deep within him he could feel a new found resolve, a new found love.

His soul seemed to come alive with the explosion of light. It flowed deep within him, touching him in places that had only been held by darkness. His hidden feelings of inadequacy were tossed out and his pain from his stepfather and schoolmates was pounded into nothingness.

The pain he had carried for so long was vanquished under the relentless power of the golden light. The white river now flowed deep into those never before reached spots. It soaked them, coated them and he could feel himself growing. He could feel strength returning to his limbs, his muscles no longer feeling tired and sore from their daily battle.

His eyes burned from the brilliance of the bright light, yet they remained focused on the dark shimmering pools of Billy’s eyes. He could see the golden light surround their two shapes. He could see it transform them back into two separate but joined persons.

He watched in awe as he saw the white river continue to flow inside of him. He saw every part of his body fill with the joy of Billy and he could feel a renewed strength in his soul. The sadness that had taken hold was gone, instead he revelled in recalling how they had made plans to spend their lives together. He felt the pure pleasure that Billy had felt when he had opened the pendant to find their pictures there. He knew how Billy felt each time they had kissed, each time they had hugged, each time they had nestled together. He no longer had to guess, he knew.

Josh blinked and as he opened his eyes, it was all gone.

There was no glimmering eyes to stare into, no prone body to rest on, instead he was once more standing in a swirling mist, tinged by gold now. Despite the sudden departure of Billy, he felt no fear this time.

“Yes Billy, I know… I will go back now… I love you.”

He heard himself speaking the words and he felt a sudden warm hug. He saw nothing, but he could feel the firm pressure of arms around him, and he felt a soft hand brush aside the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

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