Rent Boy – Chapter 13 (conclussion)

Chapter 13

Josh sat there, swirling the amber liquid around in the glass. It never changed, did it? No matter what he could still feel the ache in his heart, the emptiness whenever he thought about Billy, even now so many yearslater, so much water under the bridge, and yet he could close his eyes and there he would stand, the dark hair flowing across his forehead, the eyes penetrating deep into his soul; and yet when he opened his eyes, there was nothing there, just the hint of what could have been.

The touch of Darren’s hand on his shoulder made him look up, the image of Billy smiling slowly dissipating in the light of the room. A wan smile crossed his face as he stared up, wondering what would come next.

“You really loved him a lot, now I understand.”

“Understand? What is it you understand Darren?”

“Oh, lots of things I guess, like why you always back off when things get really emotional between us, for instance.”

“Back off ? Come on Darren, that isn’t true.”

“Oh come on Josh, you know it is… I mean how many times have I asked you to go away for a weekend and you always find an excuse, or how many times have I told you I want to be with you forever and you tell me I need a shrink, if that isn’t backing off I don’t know what is.”

Josh sat there looking up, staring into Darren’s eyes, and seeing the clouds roll over the normally sparkling eyes. He could see the pain there, the sharp anguish that was not just evident in Darren’s voice, but was deep in his heart. Funny, he never really looked into his eyes before, never really delved there like he used to do for hours with Billy.

He shuddered a little as the words found their way inside of him. For a brief second he could feel the words and he knew that in some ways they were true, but damn it, couldn’t Darren understand that it wasn’t his fault? Couldn’t he see that you never really ever find that

gaystoryman

perfect love, but if you are lucky you only find it once in a lifetime?

“He’s gone Josh, you aren’t, least not physically, look I never knew your Billy, from what Gordon told me he was something special, but he is gone and you have to let yourself want to go forward.”

“Darren that isn’t fair… yes he’s gone, but not really gone, he’s still a big part of me, can’t you see that?”

“All I see is that I am competing with a ghost, and that isn’t fair to me or to you.”

Josh looked away, he could see the pain only growing inside of Darren and for some reason, it made him feel angry. Couldn’t Darren just accept who he was, what he was, and let it go at that? Why did he insist on wanting to know everything, to have all of him? How could he even give all of himself to Darren, wasn’t there a big hole in his soul? How do you give what you don’t have?

Josh swirled the cognac around and then brought the glass up to his lips. He tossed his head back and swallowed it all in one gulp. With his head high, he rose up and handed the ring to Darren.

“I can’t give you what I don’t have Darren, I wish I could, maybe another time, I’ll call you.”

With those softly spoken words, Josh grabbed his coat and walked out of the apartment. He closed the door softly, and he leaned against the wall, breathing deeply in an attempt to quell his shaking heart. The tears flowed down from his cheeks and he cried within, desperate to feel Billy’s touch, to hear his voice, to experience just once more his tender embrace.

He shook his head and headed towards the elevator, hearing a glass smashing somewhere inside of Darren’s apartment. His hand pushed the button and he waited, knowing that he had hurt Darren, but he had no choice, there just really wasn’t anyway he could give Darren what he deserved.

The glass had smashed against the wall, narrowly missing the large oil painting of Josh. It was something he had cherished and now as he stared at it, he felt anger and disgust and sorrow.

“Damn you,” he yelled at the moody face that stared out at him. “Damn you and Damn your Billy, damn, damn” he mumbled over and over again. The tears were like a torrential downpour, as he sat in his couch, alone and feeling empty. He loved Josh so much, why couldn’t he see that? Why did he have to insist on hanging on to something that was gone, long dead and buried?

Glancing up at the portrait, he knew that there was no answer. He could see that all his dreams and hopes for a life with Josh had simply walked out the door. He didn’t even look back, he just handed him the ring back and left, nothing else, no hysterics, no tears, nothing. Just his back as he walked out the door.

gaystoryman

Darren picked up the bottle by his feet, still a third full and with one giant swallow, he drained the fine alcohol. He sputtered several times as he drank deeply of the intoxicating liquid, anxious to forget all that he had heard, all that had happened here, but his mind refused his wishes.

Instead he saw images of his Josh naked, playing in a pool with some dark shaped figure, a laugh always there instead of the serious face that he had fallen in love with. His head seemed to be drawn once more to the portrait, and he stared at the troubled powder blue eyes that the artist had captured so perfectly. They looked so empty and yet so mysterious too.

Well he had the answers didn’t he? What good did that do him? Fuck it, he thought, and headed for his bedroom and for a night of restless sleep. His anger was short lived; instead a deep sense of loss filled his heart as he undressed to crawl into bed. He could still see the eyes even as he closed his own.

Strange, he thought, the way the shadows moved around him, and yet all he wanted was to sleep, to try and forget all that had gone on. Darren tossed and turned, feeling hot one second, then a strange chill would come over him and he would reach for the blanket to cover himself with. It was an unnerving night and finally he managed to doze off, to let the sleep finally overtake him, or so he thought.

Darren almost flew out of the bed as he heard Josh’s voice ringing in his ears. He rubbed his sleep-swollen eyes and there he was, standing there, a playful look on his face, and his eyes, oh man his eyes looked so blue and full of life.

He reached out with one hand but couldn’t quite reach and he saw the image shimmering, as if about to dissipate, and he cried out, begging the vision to stay and join him.

The shape was almost gone, just an outline in the dark when his voice cried out, and the figure of Josh stopped, the beautiful face turned towards him, the smile wide and the teeth perfectly white gleamed at him as the words bounced around his empty room.

Quickly his heart started to beat faster and he sat up in the bed, bringing his legs up and he leaned forward, both of his hands outstretched now towards the turned figure of Josh.

“Oh Please, please Josh,” he cried out and he shut his eyes briefly, willing the figure to come closer. As he opened them, he saw the figure laughing and then he saw a darker shape next to Josh’s full body figure. It was cast in shadows and he saw the way that Josh’s whole body was leaning towards it.

He didn’t need a brick to fall on him, he knew that the shadowy figure was Billy, and he saw the way Josh looked so alive, so full of energy and of love. He could see a blue shimmering glow that seemed

gaystoryman

to be striving to reach out and encompass both him and the shadowy figure.

Darren took a deep breath, willing his beating heart to slow down as he watched. Billy, for he was sure that was who the figure was, seemed to hold Josh’s attention like he had never seen before. There was no doubt that Josh had been captivated and for some strange reason, he didn’t seem to mind it now. He seemed instead to look closely, to watch the way the shadowy figure just moved, or glided this way to keep the focus.

It was a strange sight, he could see a dark lock of hair across the forehead, the way the head tilted back to toss that lock out of sight but never succeeding. He saw a strange glow too, a sort of bond that stretched from the dark figure’s chest towards Josh’s own rib cage.

The image of Josh started to grow closer to the dark one, as if it was merging into just one single shadow figure and he caught himself crying as the two shapes grew closer.

Suddenly the dark shape stopped, its head now angled away from Josh and it was as if it was seeking him out. It was an eerie feeling, seeing the shape’s upper body twist around and look. It had almost become one with Josh’s young image when the darker recess of the head seemed to glance at him. Darren felt a chill run up and down his spine as the dark orbs held onto his eyes.

He shivered even though he had the blanket wrapped up to his neck. His hands trembled under the soft linen of his comforter and his heart started to pound irregularly.

The dark shape grew stronger in definition, the face became more defined as he saw the firm jaw jutting out, the forehead with dark lines across it, and the hair cut to the shoulder. Where the eyes should have been were, instead, a dark piercing emptiness. His own eyes couldn’t stop staring at the darkness and the chill grew inside of him. He wanted to scream and wake up from this nightmare but no sounds would come from his throat. It was almost as if he was frozen in time, and he shuddered even more as the thought hit him.

He felt the darkness surround his body, and he felt a strange almost cold enter his heart and then move outwards through his whole body. The dark shadow was now right in front of him, as if it had joined him on the bed. The dark orbs were impenetrable and yet his own eyes still stared into the nothingness.

He felt like he was being swallowed up by the darkness of those eyes. The cold penetrated every fibre of his being and yet, while his mind was racing in a blind panic, his heart seemed to start to slow down. The panic that had made it race seemed to simply vanish as he felt the darkness surround him and cover him with its blankness.

Darren trembled as he watched the curtains sway to the morning’s

gaystoryman

breeze. His body was soaked in a cold sweat and he trembled from it all. He glanced around the room, seeing everything and yet feeling like he was just arriving here.

His hand quivered as he picked up his phone and dialled the number. He waited for the other party to pick up, knowing that this was all insane and yet also knowing he had no choice. He had to do this.

The cranky voice on the other end finally relented and gave him the information he had demanded. He wrote it down quickly on the back of a magazine and then hung up the phone. Without any other thought he tossed the blankets off and headed for the shower where he turned on the hot water full, desperate to erase the bone chilling cold that had permeated his entire body. It helped, but not much and he dressed quickly.

Grabbing the piece of paper Darren headed out of the door and, almost in a run, left his apartment as the sun poked its head up over the horizon. There was no stopping him as he hurried to the one place where he knew he was going to get his answers.

Josh felt like he had been through a war. His whole body ached from the strain of the night and the morning. Instead of sleeping he had spent the time sitting in his own apartment, staring at the two photo’s in a shiny silver frame.

gaystoryman

He could see Billy’s eyes, the way the dark orbs seemed to sparkle, and then he would glance to the other picture, the one of Darren, and his heart seemed to skip a beat. He had such nice eyes too, dark one’s but they seemed to be so full of life, while Billy’s seemed to hold more secrets than anything else.

Josh didn’t know how long he had spent staring at the two men who had meant so much to him. One was dead, long buried out in the cemetery by the hill, while the other might as well be too, because he just couldn’t let him in, no matter how much he wished he could. The tears came and went through the early morning hours and despite all the booze he had drunk, he could still feel the pain inside of his chest.

As the sun poked its head up, he left his place and walked. He had no direction, he just walked, through the streets that were deserted but now gradually wakening up. People started to appear everywhere and he sat on a bench, watching as they bustled to and fro. He saw all types as they went on with their lives and he sighed deeply.

Why couldn’t he just accept Darren? Why did he have to always be comparing him to Billy? No one could equal Billy, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t ever forget what he and Billy once had. The pain grew inside him once more, as it always did when he came to this point in a relationship. The trouble was, this time it didn’t really seem so bad, he hurt more when he had left Darren’s place than he did now.

He had tried, honestly he had. In college he had chased a few and been rewarded with some good companionships, but nothing that could come close to what he and Billy had shared for such a short time. There was always something that would interrupt his moving forward, either the person would simply not understand about his past or would not accept that there was a big part of him missing, that could never be replaced.

Always, after those times, he would reflect and would gain some comfort with Billy’s locket held tightly in his hand. It was there now, and he opened it up to see the smiling face, see the twinkle in the eyes and his heart would normally soar with the vision, but not this time. This time he just felt sadder, more lonely than he ever had before.

As the morning rolled along, he found himself slowly coming towards the one place he always found solitude. He saw the wrought iron gates ahead and his heart soared briefly, but only briefly. The small corner store was empty as he purchased the small bouquet of purple and white lilacs. They were Billy’s favorite and he clutched them as he walked up past the cemetery gates, heading past the huge trees that lined the roadway.

Normally his heart would start to lighten by now. Instead it just seemed to grow heavier as he walked silently along the well shaded roadway towards that special spot where he could once again sit and talk with the only one he had ever loved.

Josh turned the corner, and there stood the solid redwood oak, tall and majestic on the hill, small statues dotted the grass that was a lush deep green and marked the various residents of the hilltop. He had no idea how Gordon had managed it, but he had gotten a spot just near enough to the tree that its tall branches always covered Billy’s final resting spot.

A simple white marble headstone adorned the tiny plot, and there were always fresh flowers there. Gordon regularly visited here, and he always brought unique flowers for Billy. As he glanced up he saw a figure squatting where Billy’s headstone was. For a second he thought it had to be either Gordon or Manuel but the shape was all wrong for it to be either of them. For a brief second, the sorrow in his heart was replaced by his curiosity and he trudged up the slope to find out just who it was.

As the sound of his approach grew, the squatting figure suddenly turned and saw him, and stood up and waited for him to come closer. Josh’s eyes bulged wide as he recognized Darren’s figure. He stopped as the recognition dawned on him, and for a brief instant he wanted to turn and run down the hill and out of the cemetery, but something held

gaystoryman

him in place, some invisible force kept his feet from moving or turning until the sudden panic eased. Only then did feeling and control return to his feet and he walked slowly forward to greet Darren.

Darren watched as Josh approached. He saw the pain his eyes and he could feel it in his heart. Suddenly it all made sense to him and as Josh came level to him he turned to stare down at the simple white headstone.

“William Jonathan Braxton, I never would of guessed it was him.”

“What? You knew Billy?”

“Knew him? No, I don’t think anyone ever really knew Billy, only what he wanted you to know, even way back then.”

“Back then?”

“Did you know he has her eyes? I never figured it out, but it came to me last night, it was her eyes and now I know where he is.”

“Darren…”

“Did you know, she was an amazing women Josh, you would of liked her. I think she would of liked you too, she had good taste and she was a pretty good judge of character.”

“Uh, Darren…”

“No, no Josh, you had your say last night, but it isn’t over you know? It really isn’t.”

“Darren come on man, look there just isn’t an easy way, and surely after all that I said, you have to see…”

“Oh but it is you who doesn’t see, and until early this morning, neither did I. I am a bit slow sometimes, but I know what I want, and I know who I love, so no Josh, it is far from over, it is just beginning and you know why it is just beginning?”

“No, I don’t, why?”

“Because of Billy there… he won’t let it end, not your way anyhow.”

“But…”

“No, he won’t, you ask him, he’ll tell you Josh. He’ll tell you how much he wants this, and if you loved him half as much as I do, then you’ll listen to him now.”

Darren bent down to his knees and rested one hand on the grass, just ahead of the headstone. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he knelt, and his hand trembled as he spoke haltingly to the ground.

“I missed you so much, so much,” he softly whispered.

Darren got up, the tears still flowing and he turned away and walked back down the road. His shoulders were hunched and his head hung down as he walked away from the gravesite.

Josh stared at the figure of his friend, not sure what was going on. He heard the words and saw the deep pain that Darren had and as he walked away his own heart ached for him. His mind wished him to

gaystoryman

follow but he stared down at the gravesite, wanting to know more, afraid to find it out.

Josh found his face turning towards the disappearing back of Darren then suddenly it was drawn down to his hand, where Billy’s locket lay, open somehow, and he saw into the eyes. His heart stopped as his whole body shook to a tremendous surge of energy.

The heaviness in him suddenly vanished and his soul no longer ached or felt only a part of itself. He nodded to the locket and turned quickly to run after Darren.

“Darren, DARREN WAIT, PLEASE WAIT,” he yelled as he ran down the hill, catching up to Darren at the foot.

“Please, don’t leave, not now, we have so much more to talk about.”

“I can’t Josh, I…”

“Yes, yes you can Darren, and Darren… you were right, he won’t let it end this way, please, please let us go back and talk, please?”

Josh hadn’t used that voice in many years. It was almost like being back in time when things were good, when Billy was alive and next to him. Well, in a way he was, and he knew now what he had been afraid of, but now he was being given a second chance.

Darren gave in, he couldn’t refuse Josh, and he knew he never could refuse him anything. Slowly they walked back up the small hill, to sit down together under the tree, their feet stretched out towards Billy’s grave.

gaystoryman

For the longest time they just sat there, neither of them talking as if they just wanted to be there, together, sharing everything, yet saying nothing.

“Does Gordon know Darren?”

“Gordon? No, no I don’t think he does, hell I didn’t know until early this morning.”

“But how?”

“It’s the eye’s Josh, those eyes. I could see her in them, always see her in them, but last night, well last night I saw him instead, then it hit me, and I had to come here to find out.”

“I don’t get it Darren, find out what? How do you know Billy?”

“He’s my brother Josh, my older brother.”

Josh couldn’t believe it. This was not real, not possible. He searched his memory and yet he couldn’t recall Billy saying much about his earlier life. He knew he had lived on a farm, that his family had somehow turned on him; but, wait, no that wasn’t right, it wasn’t how he put it, damn, how was it he worded it?

They were safer without him, that’s it, that’s how he put it. How, it didn’t make sense then and now it certainly made even less sense. He looked at Darren and saw the way his hair sat on his forehead, that tiny lock of hair, shorter than Billy’s but it curled the same way and if it was longer it too would fall across his eye, just as Billy’s used to.

Damn, why had he never seen it before, the eyes were the same brooding dark, yet they could burst into a dazzling display of sparkles and fireworks that could overwhelm a person, just as Billy’s did. Even his smile, when it broke out was like a thunderous event in his heart, just like when Billy would smile at him. Damn, he had been so blind, why hadn’t he seen the similarities.

It all came rushing to him as he sat there, staring down at Billy’s grave. That was why he was so damn scared of committing to Darren, because he reminded him too much of Billy. The few arguments they had simply made him think more of Billy; or the love making, the way Darren would always try to please him in different ways, it had always reminded him of Billy. That was the big reason why he couldn’t commit, Darren had reminded him too much of Billy.

“What happened Darren?”

“Happened? Oh, I never really knew until awhile back what had happened. All I knew for my younger years was that Billy and my step dad had a big argument and he had left.

“It wasn’t until oh, maybe when I was 17 or so that I found out the details. Billy never liked our step dad, and he blamed Mom for that too, it damn near broke her heart when he left. Yet I think secretly, she was kind of proud of him for doing that. They used to be so inseparable, it made me jealous at times and he knew that, yet he never ever rubbed it in either.

“I miss him so much Josh, I think I can understand now why you were so afraid of us.”

“It wasn’t that Darren, it never was… it was, well, just…”

“Just that you didn’t want to get that close to anyone again, afraid they’d leave you like he did, but he really never left you Josh, maybe that’s the problem.”

“Maybe, I don’t think so. I think it is just that he was such a big part of me, and when he was taken away, well, so was a big part of me taken… I think that is why I never got close to anyone.”

“Is it? No, somehow I think that’s just an excuse you have been hanging onto Josh.”

“Darren, that isn’t fair.”

“Isn’t it? Maybe, or maybe it’s just that I know how you feel.”

“I… Darren I just don’t see…”

“When he left, I hated him, did you know that?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I blamed him for everything, for all the shit in my life, for everything that went wrong it was cause Billy had left.”

“That isn’t fair, how could you…”

gaystoryman

“Same way I guess you can’t feel like you can ever love anyone as much as you loved him… isn’t it?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Isn’t it? Tell me, you ever talk to him about the past?”

“No… no, we never had a chance to really do that, I wished we had.”

“I wish you had too, maybe then it wouldn’t have taken me so long to get my own answers.”

“But… Darren I don’t see how any of this really changes things between us… I mean okay, you…”

“Changes things? Maybe it doesn’t, but then again maybe it doesn’t have to Josh, maybe it can make sense of it all instead.”

“Sense? I don’t…”

“Josh I can’t compete with a ghost, even if it is my brother’s ghost, but at least maybe you can let him go, maybe it is something that can bring us closer, let you see me for me instead of seeing him in my eyes or hear him in my voice or feel him in my touch, maybe… maybe that is what this is all about?”

“I suppose, I guess if you are right. Shit, I don’t know Darren, he is so much a part of my life… so much of who I am is because of what we shared… how is that going to change?”

“Who says it has to Josh? I am not Billy, and as much as I used to look up to him, as much as I used to love him, I know I am not him.”

“But… I guess I see what you are saying, but deep down I don’t know… I just don’t know.”

“Neither do I but maybe if you know that he was who he was, and I am who I am then maybe, maybe we can get past it, I mean Josh, I loved him, you have no idea how much his leaving hurt and how long I used to hate him for it, until I got older and understood. And now, now I know how much I needed him, but I also know he always loved me, that can’t ever change, and well, well if you want to keep his love, maybe you need to also let it go too, so you can have new love, and…”

“I can’t let it go, least I… fuck I just don’t know, all I know is that every time I got close to someone, I would wind up pulling away because it wasn’t like it was with him, and yet with you, I don’t know, you scared me because for brief moments, I would forget him, I would stop thinking of how it was… I don’t want to lose that Darren, I don’t want to forget him.”

Josh sat there, tears now rolling down his cheeks too, as he thought about Billy and how much he had meant to him. He also thought about Darren, and how there were those brief moments when they would connect, when his guard was down, and how good that felt and how he felt after, how he felt like he was betraying Billy’s love for him.

His head was lowered to his chest as his one hand held tightly the

gaystoryman

silver locket, the locket that always guided him as he needed it, and now it seemed to grow warm in his hand, seemed to be pulling him and he looked down towards the grave.

Josh felt his breath leaving his body, his legs started to twitch and his face became drawn and his eyes bulged outwards. Standing by the grave was Billy, or at least his image. Quickly he rubbed his eyes with his free hand to bring himself back to reality. He felt a strong hand grip his shoulder and he turned his terror stricken face to glance into Darren’s face.

It was like a mirror, he saw the white lines in the forehead, the eyes dark and frightened looking as he stared into them. The lips were tightly held together, the cracks showing and he could feel a strange chill in his bones, coming through Darren’s hand into his own body.

The locket grew heavy in his hand and he turned once more towards the grave, and the apparition was still there. He almost fainted as he saw it lift one hand up, pointing towards him and then it opened, as if beckoning to him. The hand turned and lay open, palm upwards and the eyes, those damn dark eyes now glittered and sparkled in the sunlight.

Josh was frightened, more than ever before. He had felt at times that he was losing his mind, the way he could sense or see Billy at times; but that was always alone, at night, and yet here he was, in broad daylight with Darren and there stood Billy.

He could see the eyes, the way they looked so dark and ominous and yet as his own blue eyes peered at them, he could feel the love and warmth that Billy was to him. He could feel his heart beating even though it had been stilled a long time ago by a crack head’s bullet.

The cold feeling in his shoulder suddenly grew warmer. It was like an oven had been turned on. He felt the heat travelling into his body, going from bone to bone to reach deep down into his body. His heart started to pound heavily as he stared into Billy’s eyes, while Darren’s hand gripped his shoulder.

He had to be losing his mind, that was the answer. It was all the stress from work, from facing Darren last night, and from not sleeping, that was it, or was it? His heart said no, it wasn’t, his mind begged it to be so but finally his soul settled it for both of them.

Josh lay there, stunned as he saw his own shadowy figure leave him and walk forward, the locket in its hand and he started to tremble with fear. He looked over at Darren and instead of seeing fear he felt a strange over powering sense of love. He looked into the eyes and they sparkled, just as Billy’s used to moments before he would find some way to make him moan with desire.

Josh couldn’t understand it. There was a dark figure leaving the tree, walking towards Billy’s outstretched figure and yet he was being

gaystoryman

drawn towards Darren, not towards Billy.

He felt his chin being lifted upwards by Darren’s finger and he found his face close to his own. He could see the tiny cracks along Darren’s mouth, the way they formed little wiggly lines and he looked up at the nose, seeing its sides breathing in and out with each breath that Darren took. The eyes fluttered as they gazed down into his own blue eyes and suddenly they connected.

The wall of pain and resistance was gone. His eyes suddenly seemed to open fully and he felt a strong rush of warmth push deep into him. He could feel his groin stirring as Darren’s eyes bore into his own freshly opened eyes.

The thought of, ‘it was like when Billy first gazed into him’ passed before him, and a small twinge in his heart seemed to threaten the hold of Darren’s eyes; but then a strange soft whispering voice echoed in his head, telling him that love was always the same, always different and that it was okay to love fully and to feel fully.

Josh closed his eyes and felt the soft touch of Darren’s lips against his own. He felt the warmth of the lips, the fullness of them against his own shivering mouth and then he felt two strong arms grab hold of his own shivering limbs and he felt the deep passion coming from Darren flow into his own body.

The trembling stopped as the hands held him tight. He could feel the heat as it travelled deep into his soul and where there had been emptiness, a missing piece, he felt a strange new power growing there. Where darkness had dwelled for so many years, he could feel light starting to shine within.

He opened his eyes to see Darren, and his thoughts no longer rested on the dark shadowy figure walking towards the grave. He reached out with his hand, to touch Darren’s face and as it did, he felt his lips open fully, to let Darren inside.

His tongue roared past the open lips, to taste and explore the mouth like it never had before. He licked the upper palette, tasting the roof of Josh’s mouth and felt his lungs gasp for air as he forced his tongue down the back of the throat.

Darren’s body started to tremble with desire as he held tightly onto Josh’s body, feeling the waves of excitement going to and fro between them both. It was unsettling to his mind and yet his heart seemed to over rule it, and force him to go further. Darren could feel his penis growing hard inside of his shorts, and he could feel a strong ache growing in his rectum as he kissed Josh deeply and fully.

His hands fumbled as they started to roam across Josh’s body. He could feel the heart beating wildly inside the chest as his one hand caressed the left nipple, he could feel its hardness even through the cotton shirt that Josh wore and yet he knew it was twitching with his

gaystoryman

touch. His other hand roughly pressed the groin, feeling the jerking of Josh’s hard cock underneath the denim of the jeans.

His whole body was now one massive aching blob. There was something purely animal like in his desire for the young blonde man next to him, some sort of unreasoning urge to have him then and there. He looked into the blue eyes and saw the same exact feeling and he knew that this time, there would be no turning back.

Darren moved Josh to the ground, and lay on top of him. He smothered his face with kisses, while his hands moved across the twisting body that seemed to desire nothing more than to become a part of his body.

He could feel Josh’s hands now working on his own trembling body parts and somehow he felt his jeans open and the long thin fingers were now pushing aside his shorts to wiggle their way down into his groin. Darren groaned loudly as the thin fingers pressed up against his hard throbbing cock and then pushed even further downwards to press the hard skin of his balls.

His mouth gurgled with animalistic sounds as his own hands were roaming heavily across the milky white chest of Josh. He was pinching the hard nipples with one hand, while pressing the soft fleshy side with the other hand, making it reach down towards Josh’s bony hip.

Darren felt like some strange lustful angel possessed him. He couldn’t get enough of the young lithe body that writhed underneath his own body. He ached in places he never knew could ache as his hands continued their wanton exploration of Josh’s body. It wasn’t all a one way affair either.

Josh’s own hands moved like a possessed demon the way they grabbed and pulled at the hard man muscles on top of him, the way they shoved and pulled at the firm flesh, feeling it move and give and always come back for more.

His hands knew no boundary as they reached deep inside of the jeans to fondle and caress the hot throbbing cock and dangling balls. Josh could feel his head getting dizzy and all thoughts of others, even of Billy, no longer intruded on his wild passion.

The breathing was like two wild animals in the middle of the plains, grunting and groaning as they each sought for that golden moment, that special place where they could finally unburden their own passionate desires.

Darren could feel his balls tightening up around the root of his hard throbbing penis. He knew he had only seconds before he would be unable to contain himself. He let out a loud groan and just as he did he felt a strange presence deep in his soul. He felt like someone was walking through his entire body, the pain was intense and yet very desirable. He couldn’t hold on and he could feel the blood draining

gaystoryman

from every outer extremity.

Josh couldn’t believe the way his body was contorting under the wanton lust that had invaded his being. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning and gurgling as he strove to touch every part of Darren. There was nothing he didn’t want to feel, he wanted it all and every part of his body strove to give him just that.

He could feel the strange heat coming from without, the way it just covered him and slowly permeated into every part of his body. The way his blood suddenly seemed to get hotter, the way his lungs contracted in a desperate struggle for air all made him only want more. He could feel an unusual pain that hurt but felt so exciting. His hands couldn’t stop their frantic pulling and prodding of Darren’s man flesh. He could feel the vein swelling with each touch of his fingers and the scent was over powering to his nostrils.

A loud cry made his whole body shake and his hand twitched as it felt the sudden force of hot cream cascading into the palm. He shook more as another hot load of Darren’s milk came flooding out to send the first wave even further up his hand and arm.

His legs bucked as he felt the warmth and the noise only made him strive to get more of the fresh hot juice. His whole body was quivering as Darren released his load and it made his heart beat even faster and more uncontrollable.

Suddenly he felt his hand pushed away and his eyes fluttered briefly as the sensation of holding the hard throbbing penis was taken away from him. It was like suddenly going blind even though his eyes were clutched tightly closed.

Just as he started to feel an overwhelming sense of panic he felt Darren’s hands pushing at his groin. He felt a strange stickiness against his cheeks and he breathed in deeply, smelling that fresh aroma of man milk and he knew that Darren had moved his body so his exposed cream covered groin was now at Josh’s head.

Just as the realization hit him, he felt a sudden warmth explode around his own groin. The heat was intense as it quickly travelled up his own quivering pole, right past his balls and up his spine towards his quivering heart. The heat overpowered him, and his already hard pumping heart merely raced ahead faster as it dawned on him that his throbbing cock was now buried deep within Darren’s mouth.

Josh could feel his balls rubbing against Darren’s unshaved face, the bristles scratching the rough surface of his scrotum and he let out a loud drawn out cry of pure joy as his pubic hairs brushed firmly against Darren’s face.

The whole feeling was too much for him. The empty space in his soul was suddenly filled with a heart wrenching fullness that threatened to overtake his entire body. His mind reeled under the sudden joy that

gaystoryman

filled him as his body wriggled and shook to the intense pleasure that was rolling through it.

His legs were taut, no longer under any sort of control. His toes arched down and out towards Billy’s grave and his hands were flat out at either side, thumping the soft green grass into submission. His head tossed to and fro as Darren’s mouth moved up and down on his throbbing cock, licking under the head, filling the pee slit with its roughness, then running down the underside, pushing hard against the thick swollen vein that seemed to only grow larger with each lick, with each touch of the possessed tongue.

Josh was unable to contain himself, he could feel his balls slapping the underside of his cock and his legs were now thundering their own accord as they shook hard against the unyielding ground. His eyes fluttered and he managed to open them briefly to stare down at the scene.

He saw the tanned body, the flat washboard stomach of Darren and the rippling muscles of his belly as they contracted in unison with each movement of his wonderful head. That thin face, moving up and down on his pole made his heart quake in anticipation and he could see his toes bend in a totally unnatural position as his body ached in eager anticipation.

Josh’s eyes travelled downwards where two smiling figures stood, silhouetted against the golden yellow of the day’s sun. It was surreal, as he saw his own image standing next to that of Billy. Both were smiling, gazing down at him and Darren locked in a passionate embrace of immense proportions. He could see Billy’s smile and his heart jumped ahead with it and then raced forward as his balls were tight up against his shaft, aching and throbbing to the pressure of Darren’s mouth.

He could see his own image, grinning from ear to ear as it watched him unleash his muscles, uncoiling them to thrash with wild abandon on the hill top above. His eyes started to mist over as he glanced once more at the two images and he saw them, their hands joined together and between the clenched hands, he saw it, the bright rays of the sun catching it, making it glitter and shine.

Josh could feel his body exploding outwards. His hips thrust high up in the air, forcing his hard cock further into Darren’s throat. He could feel the cock head as it jerked hard inside of that eager sucking vacuum that was Darren’s throat; and with that last glance, he saw the golden rays shining around the locket, grasped firmly in the two hands, dangling between them, forever locked in place, never to be lost, forever joining the two images into one being.

As the rays of the sun grew from around the locket, and as his own body shook to its massive release of wild passion, Josh knew that he would be safe and loved in the arms of the one who had been meant for

gaystoryman

him all along, he knew that in Darren, he had found what he had needed. He had found, once more, true love.

Rent Boy – Chapter 12

Chapter 12

What the mind of man can conceive and believe,

The mind of man can achieve.

Napoleon Hill

Gordon was tossing and turning. His mind was refusing to let him sleep; he kept hearing his name and his heart was starting to ache. He could feel himself sweating as he tried to remain lost in sleep. Suddenly an image all draped in red appeared in his sleep-shrouded brain and he woke up screaming.

He couldn’t believe it, his heart had to be going a thousand beats per second, and his pulse was racing as he tried to calm himself. He looked around and found that Josh had left.

He was a bit saddened by that; for a moment he had thought that maybe, just maybe, Josh was finally turning the corner on his grief. He felt unsettled though, as he thought of the pale young man, the one who had crawled into his bed, what, only a few hours ago, judging by the clock radio.

Gordon felt chilled, yet there was a warm breeze blowing in off the bay. He could see the drapes flowing gently in the summer breeze, yet he felt cold, as if something was wrong.

He lay there, going over everything of this past week, of how Josh had barely eaten, had barely even spoke despite his best attempts. He even ignored Manuel’s chatter, which was unusual for Josh. Yet today had been different, he had almost seemed happy, well, no that wasn’t the word, maybe more at peace would best describe it.

He had eaten well, too, almost like his old young self and that was certainly a step in the right direction, wasn’t it? So why was he feeling like something was terribly wrong? Why did he have this icy cold fear gripping at his heart now?

gaystoryman

Gordon got up from his bed and walked over to the window, to glance out. He saw the stars but something seemed wrong, they didn’t glitter for him, instead they seemed shrouded in a grey mist, yet the bay was clear, no fog was coming in.

He glanced back up to see the moon, and even that was misted over. As he stared towards the heavens, his heart felt heavier, like an impending doom was about to happen. Damn, he couldn’t handle any more bad news, not now, not when he had so much to do, so much to take care of.

The chill was penetrating his bones. He could feel it deep inside of them; even his penis was shrivelled up deep within his body, something that rarely happened to him. He stood there and shivered and reached out to his night chair, to grab his robe and wrap himself up in it. He huddled within the warm fibres, yet he still could feel his body trembling with cold.

Gordon looked around the room, feeling out of place, as if he wasn’t supposed to be here. The unease grew in the pit of his stomach as he walked around his room, trying to warm up and also trying to find the source of his discomfort.

Finally he found himself out in the hallway of the upper level. He had on his slippers and socks plus a pair of jeans, in an effort to warm him. The hallway was dark, only small shadows danced along the walls from the tiny night lights that dotted the lower portion of the walls. Yet, as he stared down the long empty passage, he felt the chill grow inside of him.

Clutching the robe tightly around him, he walked softly down the hall, towards the guest rooms. He wondered why the house was so cold, so empty feeling. The small lights looked dim in the dark of night, yet he never remembered them that way before. As he passed by the stairway he felt an urge to merely run down the stairs and leave.

He had never felt so alone before; nothing had ever made him feel this lonely, this desirous of hearing another’s voice. Stopping at the head of the stairs, he battled the sudden urge to leave his home. Now he knew something was wrong, nothing could ever make him want to leave and yet here was this insane desire to run.

Somehow he summoned up his strength and proceeded down the hallway towards their room. He could barely see down the passageway but he knew he had to continue. It was like a magnet pulling at him, he just had to go there now that he had discarded the idea of running.

Coming from the other end he saw a candlelight flickering and he knew that Manuel was making his nightly sojourn. He glanced at his Rolex and saw that tonight Manuel was earlier than usual. Maybe the sudden chill in the house spooked him, too. Gordon waited by the doorway to their room, waiting for Manuel to reach him.

gaystoryman

150

“The house, it is in pain Master Gordon, do you feel it?”

“In pain, the house? What are you talking about Manuel, it is cold but… maybe the heating system is on the fritz.”

“No Sir, it is the house, it cries, please Sir, is Master Josh okay? I have never felt the house like this before.”

Gordon stared into the weathered old face of his faithful servant. For many years they had been together, and always Manuel had been like a rock. He could see the fear in his eyes; hell he could taste it himself.

The mention of Josh’s name made him cringe suddenly, even as he stared deep into Manuel’s eyes, he knew that he spoke the truth. The house was indeed crying out to them. He glanced to the door, a pale golden glow seemed to be coming right through the two solid wooden doors and turned to face Manuel, to see if he too saw the golden glow. Instead all he saw was Manuel waiting his orders. There was no sign that he had seen the sudden burst of gold come through the doors. Gordon turned back to the doorway, feeling a sense of warmth enter his body. He could hear voices, and he could feel pain and terror too.

Whateverlay behind that door was not something he wished to see, yet he reached out with his one hand to grab the door handle. As it touched the metal, he felt a burning heat scorch his hand, causing him to yelp in pain and rear back in astonishment.

“What is it Master Gordon?” Manuel asked.

Gordon turned to his faithful servant, and in a shaking voice he issued his instructions.

“Call 911 Manuel, get an ambulance here immediately then bring me some towels… hurry.”

With those words barely from his lips Gordon pushed open the door to enter the room. Inside he saw the body of Josh lying prone on the bed, a dark patch spreading around the waist and an eerie glow filled his eyes. There were shadowy shapes floating across the room, asif they were waiting for him.

With his heart in his throat, he approached the bed, fearful of what he knew he was going to see. He carefully approached the bed to see the darkening pool turn red before his eyes. Even in the darkness of the night he knew it was Josh’s blood.

His heart stopped, his hand clutched at his chest willing it to beat once more, not to fail him now. Suddenly all of his years of fear and loneliness seemed to well up inside of him, immobilizing him when action was most needed. But then, that was the story of his life; he always failed when it was time to be counted.

He started to shake from his fear, the vision of Josh laying there, his life blood slowly draining from his young body stunned him, made him cower within his own frame. Gordon was powerless to help, the

gaystoryman

fear of his entire life, that controlling fear had gripped him once again.

“Oh God, help me,” he cried out into the darkness, sobbing now as he struggled to regain his composure; but instead, he staggered backwards, hitting his backside against the bureau. He felt the solid wood against his spine, causing him some pain but nothing like what was tearing at his soul this very second.

Tears clouded his eyes and his hands covered them, trying to hide the sight before him. His whole body quivered from his fear and once more he felt himself sliding down. He could feel the brass knobs of the bureau rub against his back as his legs started to give out from under him and his massive bulk started to succumb to nature’s gravity.

Just as he was about to fall beyond the point of no return a soft golden light filled the room. He stopped his motion, finding alast ounce of strength to support his weight. His hands dropped to his side and he watched in awe as the room gradually filled with a strange golden cloud or mist.

He could see it waft around the bed covering it in its pale yellow and then start to move outwards, to fill the entire bedroom with its willowy golden pallor. Frightened, he backed up, his legs finding more strength to raise his girth to stand up hard against the dresser bureau.

The golden mist grew, coming closer to him like a spider’s web, it floated across the room, sweeping aside the darkness and the gloom that had filled the chamber. It reached out, and gradually he could feel it wrap its tendrils around his own shivering body.

The chill in his bones seemed to be suddenly cleansed from him. He no longer felt like he was in the Arctic circle, and his body seemed to gain strength. He looked outwards; letting the pale yellow mist cover him and suddenly he heard a soft voice echo in his ears.

“Cast aside your fear and have trust in me my son.”

The words were ever so soft, ever so quiet in his ears. He could barely distinguish them. They didn’t stop though, the words seemed to gain life and spread through his entire body. He could feel them, as if they were made of a solid material. He could feel them gain strength as they travelled within his body, reaching his legs, his toes, his arms, his hands, even his fingers.

Every hair on his amble body seemed to come alive as the words passed by them, making them stand tall and straight. His whole body suddenly felt alive again, a strange sound came from his lips as he found himself moving from the bureau towards the bed.

As he walked forward, the light grew brighter and his resolve grew stronger. He could feel his blood boiling inside of him, feel it course through his body like it had never done before. Each step brought him new power, new strength as the words grew in volume now, they filled his lungs with fresh sweet air, making him grow even more purposeful.

gaystoryman

His heart seemed to gather itself and beat strong and steady now as if it was the heart of a child.

The muscles in his body coiled anew, fresh and invigorated, ready for a marathon race that only 20 year olds could run. The words boomed now in his head, filled it with its love, its faith and he knew now that he could do this.

He was at the bed, at Josh’s side and he saw the blood still dripping out of his hands. With a surprising strength he reached across and took the pillow case off the pillow, shredding it into two. He placed one of these pieces on each upper arm of the limp body, knowing that it was in time.

Gordon then sat on the bed and gently lifted up the two young blood drenched arms, to keep them higher up and to lessen their demand on the young heart that was still beating.

“It is going to be okay Josh, I promise you, I won’t let you go, you are going to survive this, we are here with you now.”

He had no idea why he spoke, but as his words left his mouth he felt a great sense of relief in his own heart. The panic was gone; the fear of his failures no longer clouded him, his body felt fresh and alive, ready to fight the days battles.

Gordon waited as heard the far off shrill of the ambulance siren, knowing that help was seconds away now. He looked down and saw a strange smile cross the pale face. Still holding his hands high, Gordon bent down and lightly kissed the lips of the young man. He could feel the life still flowing inside and he knew that it would be okay.

Tears rolled down his face as he heard the urgent rush of feet coming up the stairs. He glanced upwards, watching the golden light slowly disappear upwards, and he mouthed a silent thank you.

As the word left his lips, a soft hand reached down from out of the golden light and brushed away his tears, and rested briefly on the side of his face. Gordon felt a strange peace enter his body, a strange calm seemed to take charge over him and for the first time in his entire life, he knew he would never be alone again. He had been found.

gaystoryman

The last few hours had been a mass of discussions, pleas, and down right bribes but Gordon had been a man possessed. Nothing stood before him that he couldn’t conquer and he had finally won the day.

The police would not pursue any action; they had agreed to leave it to him and his family physician. The local hospital doctors had been calmed and the restraints they had placed on Josh’s body had been removed.

His own family doctor had been quelled by his resolve and had acquiesced in Gordon’s demands. He had moved mountains in a few short hours and now here he sat, next to his ward, in a private room.

A private nurse sat further away, in her own corner, reading a book. Every now and then she would get up to adjust the tubes and check the vital signs, and each time she did she saw the old man glance at her, smile and return to stare at the young face. She didn’t know why she was even here, but for $100 an hour she didn’t question the request.

Gordon sat there, every now and then he would glance around the room, wondering if all that had happened was real, but the tubes sticking out of Josh showed him just how real it had been. He still felt like he could climb Mt. Everest, the adrenalin still pumping through his aged body as daylight broke and the day began anew.

It really was something to watch the golden orb of the sun rise up out of the deep darkness of the night, to cast its brilliance over the land as it rose majestically up from out of the night.

Doctors came and went throughout the morning, and he briefly took a nap before waking once again to regain his vigil. He knew he needed to be awake for when Josh woke up out of his sleep. The doctors had told him how lucky he had been, that he was minutes from having bled out and that only the strange action of his had saved the young boy’s life.

The nurse had changed, a new one sat in her corner, reading just like the other one. She was merely a fixture in the room and he was oblivious to her until it was her time to check. Then he was attentive, making sure that nothing untoward had occurred.

“Are you Gordon?” a voice asked from the doorway.

Gordon glanced over to see a tall young man standing in the doorway, dressed in black shirt with a starched white collar.

“Yes, you are?”

“I am Father Leery, the hospital chaplain.”

“Oh, what can I do for you Father?”

“I understand our young friend there tried to commit suicide, I am here to offer him some counselling, to help you cope with this tragedy.”

“Tragedy? You don’t understand Father, he is alive, there is no tragedy in that.”

“Well, yes, but he did try to take his own life, didn’t he?”

“True, but we are quite capable of handling that, I am sure he won’t be doing that again.”

“I see you are RC, but there is nothing listed for our friend there… is he?”

“Father, no disrespect, but his name is Josh, as I am sure you know, and what difference does it make what religious order he follows? He is still a child of God.”

“Uh, well… yes I am sure he is, one who is in need of guidance

gaystoryman

none the less.”

“Guidance? What is it you are trying to say Father?”

“His soul is in danger Mr. Uh? Your last name is?”

“Grayson Father, Gordon Wentworth Grayson, the second, if you want the full name.”

“Oh, of the Grayson’s from Texas? Those Grayson’s?”

“Yes, but that was a long time ago, now what is it you wish to say Father?”

“Well, yes, uh, your friend is in need of spiritual help Mr. Grayson, he has committed a mortalsin against God and only luck prevented him from joining an eternity of pain and sorrow.”

“Says you Father, personally it is by God’s hand that he is still with us, and had it not been God’s will, then he would be with him now. Sorry Father, but I do not accept your interpretation of how God works.”

“Well, that is why I am a priest Mr. Grayson, it is my duty, no my calling to show you the ways of God.”

“Father, uh Leery is it? Yes, well I am a member of the church, have been for a long time and my pastor will tend to our spiritual needs, thank you for your concern, but really we are fine.”

“Well, as you wish, it is just we have so many who come through these doors that never survive, and those who do manage to survive, do so by sheer luck and fate. I would hate to see him throw away this opportunity.”

gaystoryman

“Yes, well as I said Father, he was not brought back to us by luck, you may call it that; I prefer to call it by God’s will, and again, thank you for your concern, but really you can’t help us.”

“Well, I am required by law to meet with all patients who have attempted suicide, it is part of my job I am afraid.”

“Yes? Well Father you won’t be meeting with Josh.”

“I am afraid Mr. Grayson you don’t really have a say in that, it is hospital policy and as I said, I am required to by law.”

“Well the District Attorney says you won’t, Father, and the Hospital Administrator will confirm that for you later in the day… now good day Father.”

The priest left the room, obviously distraught but none the less, Gordon had once again protected his charge. No one was going to try and foist some out dated concept on his ward. Not even the blasted Pope if it came down to that.

The day dragged on for Gordon, and he could see colour returning to Josh’s face as his body was slowly replenished of its blood supply. The red plastic bag continued to dangle from the above the bed, and he could see Josh starting to move more as the afternoon wore on.

“Well Gordon… Here you are.”

“Huh? Well, about time old friend, what took you so long?”

“Just as ornery as ever aren’t you?”

“No, no my old friend, not at all, thank you for coming, I am sorry, it has been a long night and day.”

“Yes, so I hear, you have been a holy terror around here, throwing your weight around like it was confetti. So, how is he?”

“Good, he is still sleeping. The doctors figure he’ll sleep most of the night through given the amount of blood he lost.”

“Yes, it is a shame, but thank God you were able to slow down the process until help arrived.”

“I only did what I was told Mike… uh, maybe we should step outside to talk.”

“Well… it is more private here, maybe the nurse could excuse us?”

“Yes, yes, Ms, would you mind, the Father and I wish to talk alone.”

“Certainly Sir.”

The nurse left quickly, not sure what the hell was going on. She had heard how this fat man who hovered over the young boy had dealt with the hospital pastor, and now here was another of them in the room, but this one seemed to be a friend. Well, not for her to question anyway, and she wasn’t due to check anything for another hour, so she left and headed off to get a coffee.

“You know how I have always been no good in a crisis Mike?”

“Well now I wouldn’t say that exactly…”

“Don’t flatter me Mike, you know I fall apart each time that there is a major crisis…”

“Well, okay, yes to a point, but you handled yourself fine when that young man got shot, and now with this young man…”

“No, I didn’t handle myself well, I fell apart as usual, ever since I found my Mother dead in her room, I have never been able to cope, you know that Mike.”

“Yes, okay fine, but what does that have to do with anything now? You performed beyond measure with this young man.”

“Do you believe in divine intervention Mike?”

“What kind of priest would I be if I didn’t Gordon, but surely… now come on Gordon.”

“I swear Mike… it is the truth I merely did what I was told.”

“Told? Who told you? Who else was in the room with you Gordon? Manuel?”

“God… least that is who I think it was.”

“Well now Gordon, I am sure God was with you, he always is with us, but come on now…”

“No Mike, not like that… Mike I swear, I didn’t know what to do, hell I didn’t even know there was anything wrong and yet I sent Manuel

gaystoryman

to call 911 before I even opened the door to the room.”

“Okay, so you had a premonition of danger, you acted well, why are you so bothered by this?”

“Don’t you see? He was there Mike, I can’t explain it, other than that there was this light, sort of, sort of not, it was the most eerie feeling I have ever had, yet instead of panicking, I felt calm, I felt at ease, and I just knew what to do, like there was this voice in my head telling me, guiding me onwards… and Mike…”

“Yes?”

“Mike, I am not afraid anymore, I know that I have hidden from my life, from everything, but no more. The light, I just can’t explain this.”

“This light? Are you sure it simply wasn’t a light reflection from one of the lamps in the room?”

“No Mike, it was no reflection. It confused me Mike, scared me at first, but it reached out, it held me. Mike am I losing my mind?”

“Hmm, no Gordon, I think though that stress has a way of inducing some of these visions, I just don’t know. It is something the Church has tried to explain but rarely is there a satisfactory answer.”

“In other words you have no answers either.”

“True, did you expect any?”

“No, no I guess I didn’t. There is another matter though Mike, one I need your help on, but first, well first I need to know where you stand on attempted suicide?”

“Stand? I am opposed to the taking of a life, no matter the method, but that isn’t what you mean is it?”

“No, as a spiritual counsellor, how would you approach the subject?”

“Is this about our young friend there?”

“Yes, there is a bureaucratic regulation that requires some form of counselling.”

“And the hospital pastor isn’t to your liking?”

“HELL NO, HE AS Much, sorry, no he isn’t right, he’s too wrapped in the word of the church, least… well…”

“Well, you certainly are full of surprises tonight my friend, how do I answer you? I really don’t know… maybe the way is to say that the Church frowns on suicide, now don’t get on your high horse, hear me out.”

“Okay.”

“Good, as I was saying the Church frowns on suicide per se, personally I feel that there is a great deal of room in scriptures for a priest to work. I think that suicide is a tortured soul crying out for help, to the last person who can possibly help, and that is the Lord.

“I don’t know, I have no idea why a person would want to commit

gaystoryman

such a horrible deed, unless they were indeed tortured beyond toleration. I think that they have sought other solutions; I mean most suicides are not a spur of the moment thing, it is built up to in stages, least that is how I see it.

“What happens is sometimes the signs are just too normal, too routine for us to recognize, and so the person feels unaided, alone, and desperate and they seek an end to their pain on this earth.

“That said I couldn’t believe in a God who would turn his back on any of his children, no matter their crime on this earth or of their sins against him. I don’t follow that a person is condemned to an eternal wondering in space for taking their own life, I just can’t imagine any God of Love being that cruel to his children.

“Does that help you Gordon?”

Gordon sat there, his hands up to his face as he thought it all over. He was certain that something had happened to him, how did he know to have Manuel call 911? How did he know that Josh was even in trouble, never mind how to slow down his possible demise?

“Yes, I think in some ways it does.”

“So, you want me to handle the counselling?”

“Yes, if you will Mike, I would appreciate it.”

“And what about you my friend? Can I come and talk with you too?”

“Me? Why me?”

“Oh but you are as much a victim in this as that poor young man, maybe talking can help?”

“Help? Help what Mike? Help to understand how God can take one and save another? No, I am not angry, but I don’t like it, but I also have no choice but to trust in him, so, help Mike? No, but yes I would like to talk more with you.”

Father Mike looked at his friend with his head cocked to one side. There was a change in the man, something he hadn’t noticed before. Gordon had always been bluster and bluff, but when things came down to a crisis, he was nothing more than a whining child unsure of himself. Yet now, now he seemed to suddenly have changed. There was self-assurance, something he hadn’t ever seen in his friend before.

Whatever happened in that room had definitely changed his friend and for the better it seemed. He was pleased by the change too, because he knew deep down that Gordon was really a very nice man. There was no doubt God moved in mysterious ways.

“Well my friend, I should leave, have you had any rest yet? Would you like me to stay a bit while you get some rest?”

“Rest? No, no I haven’t really, I… I don’t know, I should stay here Mike, he needs to see me when he wakes up.”

“Well, making yourself sick isn’t going to help him much, now is

gaystoryman

it old friend? And besides the doctor’s say he will be sleeping for several more hours, so come on, why don’t you go out into the lounge and stretch out?”

“I know you are here Gordon,” a small frail voice echoed from the far end of the room. Both the Priest and Gordon turned to see a wide awake Josh in the bed, staring at them.

Gordon rushed to his side, and picked up his hand, holding it close to his face, kissing it and bubbling with pure joy.

“OH Josh, I am so sorry.”

“Gordon… No, I am the one… Oh Gordon, I don’t know how to… I mean am I nuts?”

“No, no my boy you aren’t nuts, you have had a bad time but now everything is going to be alright.”

“Yes, I know it is… Gordon, he really does love me, you know?”

“He? Who Josh?”

“Billy, he really does love me. I never realized it before he made me come back, but now I know.”

“Billy made you come back? Josh are you delirious? What are you saying?”

“It was him, I know it sounds crazy Gordon, maybe I am Looney, but they both made me come back, I was such a fool, I…”

“Both?”

“Yes, there was this strange voice, it had a ring of steel to it, yet it felt so soft when it wrapped around me, and he had such gentle hands, they were like… I can’t explain it.”

“Hush, you are tired, you lost a great deal of blood Josh.”

“I know, but you saved me Gordon, just like he said you would.”

“He?”

“The voice, he told me to hang on, to cling to my love and wait for you, he was right, he really was.”

Gordon turned to look at his old friend, Father Mike, and saw tears rolling down his face. He really didn’t understand why until he turned back to Josh, and saw him smiling. There was a strange sense of peace around him, a strange glow that seemed to come from within. A soft golden hue was reflected on the pillow and both Gordon and the Priest turned to the window to see if it was the sun, both knowing it wasn’t.

Rent Boy – Chapter 11

Chapter 11

There is no death, only a change of worlds.

Native American Proverb

The morning broke through the darkened room, Gordon sleeping in the chair, his hand still touching that of Josh’s. The light made him blink and squirm in the chair as he opened his eyes to see the day’s beginnings. His heart still ached, but he felt that at least now he had a chance to still make it right. The pendent still lay in Josh’s hand, the tiny silver trinket that somehow had shone beyond its worth last

gaystoryman

night.

He shook his head, not sure if what his mind was telling him really happened. There was no explanation for it, but something had foundits way into his soul to give him the strength and the words to say. Gordon stared down at Josh’s sleeping figure, seeing the dark bruises around the eyes, seeing the drawn cheeks as he breathed regularly. His heart ached for the young boy, and he knew that last night’s release was only temporary, for them both. They still had today to face.

As Gordon climbed into his bed, he thought about this last week, and how slowly and painful it had been. At times he thought Josh was coming around, least there was hope. Today he had actually eaten pretty normally, but other than dinner tonight, Josh had more or less stopped eating.

For the most part, Josh had remained sullen, his eyes never far from filling with grief, never far from hardening in some deep dark thought as he went through the motions of existing. Gordon had found him in odd places too, like he was searching for something.

136

As Gordon crawled into his bed, he wondered if Josh would ever return to the vibrant young man who had first crossed his threshold. He also wondered if he would ever get over the feeling of despair that haunted him as he too walked the seemingly empty house.

Funny, he was so used to living alone, just him and Manuel, and yet ever since Billy and Josh had arrived that morning, the house had seemed fuller, more alive. Now, it seemed cold and forbidding, as if it, too, was in mourning for that sweet laughter that was Billy.

The door to his room opened and he turned his face to see the silhouette of Josh in the doorway. There was something different about Josh, the way he stood erect, not slouched over as he had been all week.

“Something wrong Josh?”

“No… Gordon… I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Well… uh… okay come on in.”

Josh moved into the room, his bathrobe carefully wrapped around his tall angular frame. He softly walked up to the bed, his eyes swivelling, taking in every aspect of the ornate bedroom that was Gordon’s.

“I am sorry Gordon… it is just that tonight, well, I just want some company… can I lay here with you awhile?”

Gordon felt a lump in his throat, the way the soft voice was pleading with him. He felt so needed at that moment, something he had never really felt before. His hands trembled slightly as he opened the blankets up, to let Josh slip in.

Josh tossed his bathrobe off, revealing his perfectly tanned body to Gordon’s aged eyes. There were still some bruises, visible even now a week later. Quietly and slowly he climbed into the large king sized bed and snuggled himself in, moving his lanky frame to lay against Gordon’s portly body.

He could feel the warmth of Gordon’s skin and he could even hear his heart skipping a beat as he wrapped himself up next to Gordon. Josh placed one arm around the massive chest of Gordon and nestled his head on top of Gordon’s shoulder.

“You feeling all right Josh?” Gordon asked softly, his arm wrapped around Josh’s thin shoulder. He felt cold, almost clammy like as if he had been in a cold sweat. His heart had skipped a beat as his body felt the young boy’s legs cover his, his arms move around his ample girth.

“Yeah, I just needed to be held, you don’t mind do you?”

“No Josh, I don’t mind, you know… Hell… you know how I feel about you… you get some sleep, I am here.”

“Thanks Gordon, I know you are here…”Gordon…”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for everything, okay?”

“Thanks? Oh… okay, well you are welcome my young friend.”

gaystoryman

“I mean it Gordon, you don’t know how much this last week has meant to me, your consideration and well… your friendship.”

“Hush now Josh… it really isn’t anything… you are a special friend… I only wish I could do more.”

“No… there really isn’t anything more you can or could of done. You have to know that.”

Gordon felt slightly uneasy with the conversation. It was difficult, there was so many emotions running through his mind at the same time. He could smell the shampoo scent from Josh’s hair that was nestled under his chin, and yet he felt strangely cold.

He didn’t understand it, Josh’s voice had a surprising strength to it, yet for the most part of this last week he had barely uttered two words together before breaking down in tears. Now he seemed to be at ease, calm and collected, almost like his old self again.

“I am always going to be here for you Josh… no matter what, you do know that?”

“Yes Gordon…”

They lay there, lost in the darkness, each with their own thoughts racing through their minds. Gordon felt uneasy, and yet finally his chest started moving in a steady rhythm. His eyes were closed; a soft whistle escaped his lips every now and then as he drifted off into a deep sleep.

Josh could feel the change in Gordon’s breathing and he waited. He counted the time left, waiting as he felt the steady rise and fall of Gordon’s chest beneath his head. He really wasn’t a bad guy, he certainly had changed, but then so had he.

Carefully, when he was sure that Gordon was fast asleep, he removed himself from his side, standing briefly at the side of the bed, looking down at the sleeping old man. He had done so much for them, for him and Billy. It really wasn’t fair to him, but he had no choice.

Softly he walked back to his room, where he stood at its threshold, looking at the dark room. He glanced to the bed, recalling how Billy had made him lay down then slowly undressed, then he saw the time when Billy had come home all beaten from a bad trick.

He could see Gordon bustling around taking charge to make sure Billy was comfortable, how he felt like it had been his fault that Billy was hurt. He could even hear Billy joking about it. Josh glanced over to the desk in the far corner, and remembered how they had sat there, planning their future together.

Slowly he walked over the desk, where he saw the pendent laying on the table. Beside it lay his note, and he glanced down, his hand running lightly over the high quality paper, and he saw his halting scrawl across the pure white vellum. Tears formed at the corner’s of his eyes as he reread what he put down.

It had taken him most of the evening to write, but he felt he had

gaystoryman

done it right. Everything that needed to be said was said in that letter. He picked up the pieces of paper and folded them in half, then stuffed them in the long envelope. As he pushed the paper inside, he felt a slight chill enter the room. He shivered briefly, as the tears started to roll down his cheeks.

“Soon, soon it will be as it was meant to be,” he whispered into the dark stillness of the night.

Josh picked up the pendent and brought it up to his lips. He felt it as he kissed the cold metal, a strange burning sensation flowed through his body and he shivered with the strange feeling. The tears rolled down but he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. He took the pendent and lovingly placed it within the envelope with the paper.

He thought his hands would be trembling by now, yet they were as steady as a rock, as he sealed the envelope and addressed it. He walked over to the bed, and placed it up against the ticking clock radio on the nightstand. Josh sighed deeply as his hand ran over the pillow where he and Billy had lain. He felt so at peace at this moment in time, he wished it had been like this.

Josh glanced upwards, as if he could see the stars or the heavens through the ceiling. Instead all he could see was the darkness, the deep dark emptiness that was his life. With methodical precision he proceeded to dress himself, putting on clean clothes and then he took the small razor from his bureau.

He looked at it for a few minutes, turning it over in his hand, then he looked around the room, seeing every spot one more time. One last look as he lay down on the bed, where Billy had lain in his pain that night. He could still smell his scent, his aroma wafted across his nostrils as he clenched his teeth and ran the sharp razor across his wrist.

The pain stung him for a moment. He hesitated as doubts came flooding in, then he saw Billy’s smiling face and he finished the job, doing both wrists and then he just lay there, his eyes closed as he waited for his chance to meet once more with the love of his life.

It was strange, the way he felt suddenly warm all over. The room was still black but he was sure he could see a small light in the corner. He opened his deep blue eyes and he felt like he was floating on a cloud. Nothing seemed to hurt, and he could feel no pain. His heart was pounding in a steady rhythm, yet he felt nothing. His chest didn’t heave with exertion, his ribs didn’t ache from the strain and he saw a dim shape coming into his vision.

“BILLY!” he cried out, and waited. “BILLY IS THAT YOU,” he cried out once more, waiting for the reunion he had sought.

He could feel himself standing, his body draped in a mist and he felt rather strange. He wasn’t dressed, his clothes had disappeared, and he stood in a swirling fog of gray. The shape at the end grew lighter, but

gaystoryman

it wasn’t like he had thought. There was no bright brilliant golden light,

no shining glow to guide him, just a shape in the darkness.

“Billy… Answer me… oh God, Please is that you Billy?”

“Yes… . You aren’t supposed to be here Josh.”

“Oh Billy. Thank God I have found you… why can’t I see you? You are in a fog… please come and get me Billy, I need you.”

“NO JOSHUA, HE CAN’T.”

“Who is that? Billy… help me I am scared. Who is that?”

The voice had echoed around him, the fog had risen and he could barely see the glimmering image of who he thought was Billy. He struggled to run, to raise his feet and move but they felt like they were encased in cement. He couldn’t move, he looked around, hearing the voice echoing like in a large empty room. He reached up to place his hands over his ears but they, too, refused to obey his brain.

“YOU MUST GO BACK JOSHUA,” the voice said.

“NO… I CAN’T,” he yelled back, desperate now in his quest to reach forward. He squirmed in the swirling fog, struggling to free himself.

“BILLY HELP ME,” he called out.

Suddenly the fog stopped its swirling and a deep golden light seemed to surround him. He glanced in every direction to see what was happening, panic gripping his heart as he struggled to free himself from the terrible grey fog.

“You are not meant to be here Joshua,” the voice said softly in his ear. He twisted his head but found no one there. The words, though soft, held a strange tone to them.

“I have to be, don’t you see? Who are you?”

“I am he who has no name,” the voice replied. “I am the one who knew you long before you were even a thought in your mortal parents minds, I am he.”

Josh felt himself falling to his knees as the words floated around him. He felt himself shaking, his body trembling as he struggled with his thoughts.

“Billy help me, please if you love me, help me now… please Billy,” he cried out, his head buried in his hands now, the fog calmed slightly. He could feel a strange warmth and yet he felt chilled. How could he have come this far and fail? Was this how God loved his children, after he made the ultimate sacrifice to reunite with the only love he knew?

“I do love you Josh, you must know that.” The voice was pained; the hurt evident as Josh tried to see into the light mist that shrouded his one time lover.

“Why can’t I see you?” he cried out.

“It is not your time yet to see him Joshua,” the voice commanded.

He was terrified, the loud voice had him cowering amongst the

gaystoryman

mist, yet somehow he found his voice and he stammered out his final plea.

“But I can’t go back, I can’t live without him, Oh Father, Please, I can’t live without him.” His voice trailed away and for a brief second he felt the light grow brighter, the shape grew harder in definition, and he could almost make out Billy’s hair.

“You are not alone my son,” the voice softly said, and once more Josh felt the warmth as it caressed his naked body. He felt a strange glow touch him and he lowered his hands from his face, to stare into a soft golden light that hovered over and around him. He could see the tall silhouette in the distance, knowing that was Billy.

“Please,” he pleaded, his eyes searching the light for the source of the voice.

“I am here Josh,” the silhouette said, the voice clearly Billy’s and he glanced over to see the shape come closer and stop. He reached out with his hand to touch him and felt a strange jolt pass through his body. He shook as he realized that he had reached his destination.

“You will see him when it is your time my son,” the voice spoke.

“I can’t go back, please.”

“I will be with you Josh. You have to trust me.”

“But Billy, oh please, let me stay, say something… please…”

“No, Josh, we had such plans, you and I.”

“But they are gone now. They left when you were taken from me, I can’t go on.”

gaystoryman

“You must, if you love me.”

“How? How can I go on when everywhere I look I see you, I see where we talked, where we kissed; and yet each time, I feel a hole deep inside of me, how can I go on?”

“By knowing that I am with you even now.”

“But you aren’t, oh Billy, I ache so much, it hurts… please, I just want the pain to go away.”

Josh could feel the tears flowing down his cheeks, his breathing was tortured and he could now feel his chest aching. His whole body quaked with his deep sobs as his heart pounded out its deep distress.

A gentle hand ran across his face, wiping away his tears and he stared up into a bright glow of light. He reached up with his hands and felt a strange, almost physical presence hold him. He was wrapped in the light now, his tears no longer flowing, the pain in his heart no longer ached and he felt like he was at peace. He stared out to see Billy’s shadow and he knew that he was smiling.

Slowly he felt himself being lifted off his knees to stand on his own two feet. The fog no longer menaced him, instead it seemed to comfort him as he looked long at the shadow that was Billy.

As he stared ahead, he saw the face change, the darkened shadow no longer hiding the face from him. He could see Billy’s dark hair showing through, a tinge of golden light behind it. Then the forehead took shape and he could see the small red mark by the left eye, the one he kissed briefly that night before Billy had left him for good.

The eyes came into focus, he could see the deep green eyes now, the dark eyelashes fluttered at him and his heart soared upwards. His whole body was glowing now, as he tried to reach out, yet knowing it was futile. Instead he just felt faint, almost to the point of collapse and yet he remained standing, supported by only a deepening golden light.

“I love you Billy,” he managed to say, his voice cracked and desperate. He knew he wasn’t going to be with him now, he knew that his time had not yet come.

“I love you Josh,” the voice said and then the eyes locked onto his. Billy’s dark green eyes narrowed in on the light blue eyes of Josh. They held each other, time no longer existing.

“I am so afraid Billy,” his heart said, and he could feel the answer coming to him from across the swirling mist.

“I know Josh, but I am with you.”

“I know, it is just… I don’t know how I can manage, I need you Billy, I need to feel you, to hold you again, I don’t think I can make it without that.”

“Close your eyes Josh, close them and listen to me.”

Josh did as the words ordered, he closed his eyes and leaned back into the golden light, the light that held him from falling downwards. He felt like he was floating now, brilliant flashes of light seemed to cross across his face and yet his eyes remained tightly shut. Suddenly he could hear the beat of another heart, and he knew that Billy was with him. He breathed a deep sigh and let himself fall further back, knowing that he would not be hurt.

“Yes, I see the Motel” he answered, the voice calmly guiding him in his vision

“Look there Josh, see… Do you see us?”

“Yes.”

“Look at me there Josh, see me waiting for you?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Can you smell it?”

“Yes, its that cologne you use, I can smell it Billy, oh God it is so sweet to smell that once again.”

“Reach out Josh, touch me … go on.”

Josh was hesitant, this was unreal. He knew that it had to be a dream, yet it all looked so real, so natural.

His eyes still closed, he hesitantly moved his hand outwards, reaching for Billy’s naked body that lay stretched across the motel room bed. He inched it slowly along the bed, actually feeling the soft cotton

gaystoryman

sheets, as his fingers moved closer.

“Come on Josh, don’t be afraid, touch me.”

“Yes.”

His fingers touched the warm flesh in front of him. He jumped back as they felt the soft skin that was Billy’s body. He could feel him, touch him and yet this wasn’t possible. How could he be touching someone who was dead?

“Go on Josh, don’t be afraid, touch me.”

Josh looked down, saw the shimmering flesh and he could feel the warmth rising up to greet his hand. Trembling, he reached out with his one hand, to touch what was surely an illusion, but as his hand grew closer he could feel the heat grow.

He reared back a bit, yet he could hear the voice telling him to trust him, and it was Billy’s voice. Once more he reached out, his fingers grazing the base of the erect penis, and he could feel the rough skin, the tiny harsh pubic hairs that were surrounding the large pulsing penis.

This couldn’t be, yet it was. He touched and felt a strong jolt of electricity pass up his arm. His fingers could feel a strange warmth as they gently brushed up against the hot flesh.

“Go on Josh, hold it,” the voice urged.

Josh wrapped his fingers around the thick pole, feeling it move under his touch, feeling the blood racing through it, and he felt his heart skip a beat. His breath was taken away as he realized he was physically touching Billy once more.

He brushed the large penis, running his fingers up the hard shaft, feeling the thick vein underneath pulse with each touch of his fingers. He could feel his own heart starting to beat in time with the pulse coming from the hot cock.

“Yes Josh, that’s it, kiss it Josh, kiss it.”

He bent his head forward, following the instructions being whispered into his ear. He leaned forward, pursing his lips and yet he couldn’t close his eyes. His blue eyes were focused on the rising flesh coming closer to his own face.

Josh could see every part of the huge throbbing penis. He saw each vein twitch as blood flowed in it, he saw every tiny hair around it, the way the skin was stretched and etched with lines and wrinkles. Everything was clear to him as his lips came closer to the fiery red eye that was the head of this pulsing penis.

Slowly his lips came closer, and as they touched the head he could taste a sudden saltiness. A searing heat flowed into his mouth down his throat and raced towards his heart.

He knew that taste, it was Billy’s pre-cum, a taste he had thought he would never have again and yet here he was, tasting it once again long after Billy had been lain to rest. The pain of his loss was present in

gaystoryman

his heart but it didn’t ache as much now; the taste and touch of Billy’s hot thick cock was slowing eating away at that pain, slowly driving it from around and from within his heart.

Josh could feel the heat growing inside of him. He kissed the hot cock again, tasting the saltiness around the head, feeling the heat from it course through his body. His limbs lost their feeling and yet his eyes watched the way the body started to shimmer beneath him. The whole flesh was like wrapped in a blanket of hot air.

He pulled back, fear gripping him as he watched the heat shimmer make Billy’s body glisten in his eyes.

“Look up Josh, look at my neck Josh.”

“I am scared Billy.”

“Trust me, now look up at me Josh.”

Slowly he did as he was told, he started to raise his head to stare up at Billy’s face. He took in the shimmering body as his eyes left the huge pulsing penis, he saw the thick bush that had been Billy’s pubic hairs, saw each strand of hair, nestled together. His eyes rose upwards, seeing how the treasure trail led him upwards to the soft pink belly button.

Josh saw the way the soft skin covered and swirled around to form the little hole that was Billy’s belly button. He remembered how he used to kiss it, drive his tongue around the edges, making Billy moan with pleasure and then how he would push hard with his tongue into the centre, making Billy squirm under his face.

Upwards his eyes went, to the flat washboard stomach that rippled with its hidden strength. The way Billy could flex them as he needed and how solid it felt to rest his head against the soft skin and feel the underlying strength that was his Billy.

His heart was dancing inside of him as it dredged up the memories of happier times. Of how much he had loved this wonderful person, of how much it had meant to him to be a part of his life.

Tears rolled down his cheeks unabated as his eyes moved upward to the chest, where dark hair swirled around in all directions. He was amazed at how tiny those hairs really were, and yet how dark they looked when taken in as one.

Upwards he went, and as his eyes took in the growing pectoral muscles, he stopped. He swallowed hard and his breathing became ragged and fear enveloped him. Shimmering it lay there, nestled between the two hard pink nipples of Billy’s chest. It glowed as his eyes focused on it, and he reared back, his mind reeling from the sight that had greeted him.

“How… no…”

“Yes Josh… it is.”

“But… No… I am afraid… oh God…”

“Come Josh, lay on top now… Don’t be afraid, I am here, as I

gaystoryman

always have been, come… lay on top.”

He looked back at the shimmering body that lay on the bed, and he felt his own legs slowly moving him from out of the swirling mist to climb onto the bed. He noticed that it wasn’t anywhere, it was just there: there was no floor, no walls, no lights, yet he could see as if it was high noon on a cloudless day on the prairies.

As he looked down, he saw his legs rest next to Billy’s legs, and then he witnessed them merge together. He couldn’t tell where his legs ended and Billy’s began. His body was slowly becoming a part of the one beneath him.

He glanced up to see the pendent shimmering in the golden light, floating upwards from the hard chest that was Billy’s. He moved himself up, feeling the fully erect penis push up against his rectum as he struggled forward, his hands outstretched to rest his weight, and yet he knew it wasn’t necessary.

“Look at me Josh,” the voice urged him.

Josh was scared. He didn’t know what was happening to him; he was petrified but yet the voice had him slowly raising his head upwards. He could see the firm chin, the tiny cleft in it that he loved so much when he had first found it, in one of his many explorations of Billy’s body.

Then he saw the beginning of his lips, the fullness starting to take shape as his eyes couldn’t stop moving upwards. He could see the hint of white behind the full lips, the perfect white teeth that used to nip at his own erect nipples, the way they would run along the edge of his cock as Billy would take him orally. It all flashed into his mind now, and he sighed deeply, recalling each and every time that he had kissed those soft lips.

Josh found his face moving forward and down, and before he realized it he was kissing the full red lips. He felt a sudden jolt in his heart, and he felt suddenly alive again. His body was arched upwards, but it slowly started to rest on the hot flesh beneath him.

He kissed gingerly at first, then with a mounting urgency as he delved further into the warm mouth. His tongue started pushing up between the firm lips, tasting the salt, the saliva that was there. It was making his heart beat faster as the lips parted to let him enter the cavern of the mouth. The tongue raced inwards, refusing to stop, as it was desperate to once more taste Billy’s mouth.

His eyes fluttered, as he could taste the warmth inside. Despite that, they refused to close, it was as if the eyelids were glued open and he saw the shimmering dark pools come into focus. He knew he was staring deep into Billy’s dark green eyes, but instead he saw himself, he saw his tongue reaching down the throat, tasting the walls. His heart seemed to stop once more, yet it was jolted back as the eyes reflected a deep

gaystoryman

shimmering pool before him. As his eyes delved deeper into the dark pool, he saw himself.

He could see himself lying prone on top of Billy, yet he couldn’t be sure where his body left off and Billy’s began. It was as if the two bodies were slowly becoming one single body. As he looked harder, he could see the pendent between them; it was nestled between their two chests, firmly pressing into his own flesh. He could feel the metal, not cold or forbidding, but warm and inviting.

Memories of their talks flooded his mind as he kissed deeply. He could recall the words as Billy outlined his dream for a house together with some land. How they would raise animals together and of him telling Billy how he wanted to be a business major so he could run a decent art gallery.

He could hear himself with excited breathe tell Billy about his dream to have a shop of his own, where he could even place his own drawings if he wanted. How he would love to be able to draw once again.

Josh could see the two of them sitting by Gordon’s pool in the late sun, as he tried to sketch Billy’s prone body. How he could never finish a picture of Billy, because they always wound up making love long before the picture could be finished.

As his tongue explored the walls of Billy’s throat, he could hear Billy outline his plans to get a cooking degree and maybe they could even open their own restaurant some day, and if Josh got his business degree, he could help manage it.

All of this passed before him in vivid detail as his tongue licked and caressed the inside of Billy’s mouth.

Josh found himself resting more and more on the prone body beneath him. His hands now moved down his own legs, and he reached behind him, to gently pry open his rectum, as he slid his legs up. He had no idea how he was doing this, or why, but he knew he had to.

Helooked deep into the dark pools, seeing the reflection of hislegs moving up, his own penis dripping with pre-cum sliding up the flat washboard stomach of Billy, and of Billy’s own large cock, now dripping its own milky pre-cum as his body lifted itself upwards.

“Yes Josh, yes… now is the time,” the voice whispered urgently into his ear.

Josh reached back, his one hand finding the hot pulsing cock and with surprising speed he was pressing it up against his rectum, feeling the smooth liquid lining his rectal canal.

He could feel Billy’s blood flowing in his body, all of it running through the arms, the legs, the chest, all of it racing towards that already blood gorged cock, and he leaned back, sending his buttocks back and down, taking the huge penis into his rectum in one giant push.

gaystoryman

146

Josh cried out in sheer joy as the huge cock penetrated him and dove hard and deep inside of him. He groaned loudly as he pushed down harder, sending the huge pulsing cock as far as it could go and yet he wanted more. He pushed even harder, desperate to take it deeper.

He was dizzy, his eyes were losing focus and he struggled to keep his presence. He needed to see it all and once more he found his eyes being drawn downwards towards Billy’s.

As he glanced down he shook with excitement. He could see it all reflected in the shimmering pools. He saw the two bodies joined now, and he could see that there was only the one being, not two shapes, just one single entity.

He could see the red pulsing heart of Billy slowing rising to meet another lowering itself. He could feel it, too, deep inside of him he could sense that his own heart was not the only beating thing inside his chest. His lungs were fully deflated and yet he had no trouble breathing.

His ears echoed to the sound of two hearts beating as one. His head focused as he saw the huge cock deep inside of him, the head buried deep up his canal. He could see the vein underneath pulsing with each stroke of not just Billy’s heart, but of his own heart.

He watched as he saw the huge head shimmer and glow deep inside of his rectum. He saw the tiny slit open wider, exposing the soft pink of the inside of Billy’s penis. He saw deep down the canal the coming white river of love.

It stunned him as he saw it come closer and closer, the pain in his heart no longer there, it was gone, his soul was set free and he was urging the coming river onwards.

His stomach muscles constricted themselves, waiting for the joy of sudden release. His eyes bulged open wider as he witnessed Billy’s heart flutter next to his own, saw the two hearts suddenly merge together just as the white river came flooding outwards.

He could see each drop of Billy’s cum as it came flooding out, engulfing his entire insides. He watched the river flow upwards, into his stomach and upwards. He swallowed hard, tasting the sweetness that was Billy’s cum.

His whole body was shaking now, as he could feel his own penis shooting its load of cum all between them. He could see it too, travelling all along the hot flesh that had no definition.

He trembled with the release of his own milk along with Billy’s. He could feel Billy trembling, and for that one second he knew he was one with Billy. He heard him cry out in joy as his cock continued to pour its love deep into him. He could feel the white seed travelling all through his body, being absorbed by his insides, filling every space with its heat and its love.

As the hot white cream filled his whole body, a sudden explosion

gaystoryman

of gold crossed before his eyes. He reared backwards from the brightness, feeling it engulf him. He could feel his whole body as if it had been set on fire. Deep within him he could feel a new found resolve, a new found love.

His soul seemed to come alive with the explosion of light. It flowed deep within him, touching him in places that had only been held by darkness. His hidden feelings of inadequacy were tossed out and his pain from his stepfather and schoolmates was pounded into nothingness.

The pain he had carried for so long was vanquished under the relentless power of the golden light. The white river now flowed deep into those never before reached spots. It soaked them, coated them and he could feel himself growing. He could feel strength returning to his limbs, his muscles no longer feeling tired and sore from their daily battle.

His eyes burned from the brilliance of the bright light, yet they remained focused on the dark shimmering pools of Billy’s eyes. He could see the golden light surround their two shapes. He could see it transform them back into two separate but joined persons.

He watched in awe as he saw the white river continue to flow inside of him. He saw every part of his body fill with the joy of Billy and he could feel a renewed strength in his soul. The sadness that had taken hold was gone, instead he revelled in recalling how they had made plans to spend their lives together. He felt the pure pleasure that Billy had felt when he had opened the pendant to find their pictures there. He knew how Billy felt each time they had kissed, each time they had hugged, each time they had nestled together. He no longer had to guess, he knew.

Josh blinked and as he opened his eyes, it was all gone.

There was no glimmering eyes to stare into, no prone body to rest on, instead he was once more standing in a swirling mist, tinged by gold now. Despite the sudden departure of Billy, he felt no fear this time.

“Yes Billy, I know… I will go back now… I love you.”

He heard himself speaking the words and he felt a sudden warm hug. He saw nothing, but he could feel the firm pressure of arms around him, and he felt a soft hand brush aside the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

Rent Boy – Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The whole world is a dream, and death the interpreter.

Yiddish Proverb

Gordon sat in his chair, his heart heavy with the nights darkness. He glanced upwards, towards the mantle place and he saw his rose, no longer shimmering in the reflection of love. It looked tarnished now, sad and alone on a place of honour. His eyes wandered over to the other chair, where only a few days ago sat Josh. Now it too was empty and his heart ached more.

gaystoryman

“OH BILLY WHY?” he cried out into the night, his shrill voice bouncing off the walls as he looked upwards.

“DAMN YOU,” he shouted, his fist raised high in anger and the fat around his jaws trembling with his inner rage. His anger real, his hurt deep, as he struggled with it all, knowing that there was no answers for him, once more.

Life was as he thought, nothing but a cruel joke and the brief time of joy he had felt, gone forever, was merely a tease to torment him, to make his latter days on this planet even more painful than he could ever imagine. How could anyone professing to be a loving being do such a horrible thing as what God had done to him.

His eyes lifted upwards, smouldering with his anger as he looked for an answer. He saw nothing upwards, and he rose slowly from his chair, glancing at the empty one by the fireplace. He could almost see them there, sitting, Billy resting on the soft leather, Josh at his feet, his young blonde face turned upwards gazing with nothing but love into the dark spirited face of his young lover. He had it all, and now he too was lost in this time called living.

He felt every year of his long life as he struggled to walk and get away from this room, this place that had known so much joy only a few short days ago, and now was a haunting reminder of just how cruel life and its creator was.

His eyes were misted, tears always lurking behind, ready to pour at a moments notice, at a sudden thought or a fleeting glance. The pool was glimmering in the star lit night as he found himself staring at the dark water. He could see the stars reflecting their luminous blues in the water.

Gordon sat, his dark suit rumpled with its long wear and his constant pacing throughout the afternoon and now evening. His tie was askew, his shirt collar open exposing his hairy chest to the night’s breeze. Once again he glanced upwards, his eyes now misted deeper in their grief as images of sweet Billy frolicking in the pool with Josh flashed before him.

His heart was near breaking, he knew that, and yet it wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t end his pain or his misery as he hoped it would. Instead it kept beating, kept him living, kept him remembering all the sadness of the day.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes heaven turned.

“Why take such a young person when you could of easily taken me? Surely you don’t need him, he had so much to offer, so much to give, why? Oh why dear God are you so cruel to us? Isn’t it enough that we pray to you, look to you for our salvation? Is this how you repay us? Oh damn it… why can’t I see? Why am I so lost and so destined to be alone? Have I really been that bad of a person all these years? Couldn’t you have simply taken me? Why him? Why now? Don’t you care?”

Gordon’s words found no answers, the silence of the night continued unabated as he sat there, his head now buried in his wrinkled aged hands. The tears flowed once more and his heart continued to ache, to torment him with its sorrow as it missed the warmth that was Billy.

The harsh ringing of the phone made him start. He was startled by its incessant noise, and angry at whoever was on the other end. Couldn’t they leave him alone in his grief ? Why did people need to call him, to tell him how sorry they were for his loss? Damn it, didn’t they know that their words meant nothing that their prattling voices had no meaning to him, not now, not ever? Couldn’t they just leave him alone, let him suffer in solitude?

Angrily he picked up the handset, barking into it, demanding to know who was daring to intrude on his pain, when his jaw fell open, his eyes narrowed as he listened to the voice on the other end.

So, this was the grand plan? This was how you comfort someone? He looked upwards, his eyes narrowed as he listened to the cool professional uncaring voice on the other end, detailing how he could, if he wished, to proceed. He answered mechanically, his anger

gaystoryman

contained, his sorrow held in check as his eyes glared upwards into the night sky.

The stars dimmed a little as he rose up off the chair. A dark cloud seemed to pass over him, as he found himself standing calling for Manuel and for a taxi. The night grew suddenly colder for a brief second as he glanced once more heavenwards. So be it, he thought as he moved with surprising strength to the house. As Gordon walked towards the house, his hands straightened his tie, smoothed his jacket and adjusted his shirt.

As he strode into the house, his hands checked his jacket for his wallet and his fingers touched the cold metal of a trinket inside. He stopped dead in his tracks as he felt the metal shape inside his jacket. It was the locket Billy had given to Josh, the one he had meant to place within the coffin earlier today, but had been unable to do it.

Tears flowed once more down his face as his anger seemed to suddenly vanish. His heart ached in pain again, no longer pounding to the drums of anger and unreason. Gordon sat down heavily in the hallway chair, his eyes dripping with his sorrow, and yet he could see it all.

He could see Josh leaning against the wall, tears of anguish flowing from his young face, his hair matted by the grief he was feeling, his young face calling for the pendent and his own shaking fat hand finding the pendent on the floor, and gently placing it in the quaking hand of Josh.

gaystoryman

It all flashed before him now, the pain tearing anew at his heart. The image of the dark coffin slowly being lowered into the ground this morning, his so called friends standing there wooden faced, tears running down his face and no one else to hold him, no Billy to place a reassuring hand around his shoulder, no Josh to hold onto, to keep safe.

From deep within his soul he cried out to God, no longer the defiant one, his anger muted, just a tormented son in pain reaching for his father’s embrace. The horror of the last few days flowed around him, it tore at his soul now, poking it with fresh memories of a sobbing Josh. He witnessed the gruesome task of identifying the body at a cold inhuman morgue. All of this passed before his tear soaked eyes.

As Gordon waited for the taxi he saw it all play before him once more. The doctor’s needle jabbing into Josh’s arm to sedate him that first night, the sullen look the next morning when he brought him breakfast. The hurt look he witnessed when he picked up the pendent from Josh’s bed. The look of absolute despair that flared in Josh’s eyes as he tried to comfort him but was found wanting in the task.

His own voice echoed in his head as he had tried repeatedly to comfort Josh, and failed totally. He could see the pain that was wrapping itself around Josh as he explained the funeral arrangements and the stunned look as Josh calmly told him he wouldn’t be there.

His own anger as he yelled to the back of Josh when he stormed out of the house last night, his empty threats of ‘don’t come back’ echoed once more inside his head. His own despair at watching the remaining chance for his own happiness slamming his front door over 24 hours earlier, and now he had to deal with it all again.

Gordon managed to control the tears for the moment. His head ached; his temples throbbed as he relived his last few days in every vivid detail. The pain wouldn’t leave, never, he realized that, but it would dull in time, he hoped. As the taxi pulled up to its destination, he gathered himself, the patriarch once again, the façade once more in place as he arranged for the taxi to wait, the passing of a $50 bill assuring his ride back.

The steps felt like mountains to his fat legs, but he struggled up them to enter the cold concrete building and present his credentials at the front desk. He was directed to take a seat while the wheels were put in motion and he sat there, the memories continuing to flood his mind.

His thumb continued to rub the small pendent in his pocket as his mind continued its torment of his soul. He wished he could end it all, but he knew deep down within him that he would never have that kind of courage. He could feel the tears welling up again as his thumb felt the warm metal. It was like it was drawing him and he pulled the trinket out, to stare at its silver finish.

Somehow he managed to open it and there in front of his bloodshot eyes were two tiny pictures of happier times staring up at him. He could see the shimmer in Josh’s eyes and the deep love they contained within the body the face was attached to.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he wondered what life would have in store for Josh. How would he ever be what he was only a few short days ago. The image of a happy Josh was hard to fathom now, all he could conjure up was a tormented soul, bent on closing himself off, of erasing his memory of this time.

His heart was racing again, the tightness in his chest told him he was on the verge of a heart attack and his mind welcomed the possibility. At least then maybe his pain would indeed end, maybe then he would find his own peace.

Gordon’s eyes started to pull away, a deep sense of pain filled his whole being as his mind tried to force the eyes away, to keep them from going to that other side, the one with his picture, his face. The battle was raging inside him, his mind rebelling, trying desperately for him not to look, yet his soul was crying out for him to do just that, to look, to see the face one more time.

Slowly, his eyes turned away from the image of Josh’s smiling face and glanced over towards the other side of the open pendent. He could

gaystoryman

see the dark hair, the lock that seemed to always fall across the forehead, and his heart seemed to stutter within his chest. A heavy ache filled his soul, his mind yelled at him to turn away, to close the pendent.

As his fingers flexed, haltingly reaching out to close the pendent a strong hand seemed to grip his own. His eyes glanced down, to see his hand trembling, but nothing else was there, no other hand, yet he couldn’t move it, it was locked, held in check unable to move.

His soul was reaching up, his eyes were slowly being turned back towards the pendent and he could see Billy’s face coming back into focus. He wanted to run, to jump up and leave, but the same force that held his hand in check now held his whole body in place. He couldn’t move, his heart was stilled as his eyes focused fully now on the dark young face.

A chill ran down his spine as he saw the dark glittering eyes, caught so perfectly by the camera. He could peer into those dark orbs, he could see the life there, the merriment, the sadness, the hope. It all passed through his own eyes now, as he looked deep into the picture.

He saw Billy standing by the pool staring off into Josh’s blue eyes. His eyes could see the love flashing between the two young naked bodies as they shut out the world and found each other. His own heart started to pound even harder as it witnessed the deep penetrating love that was there, that was Billy.

Deep within him he could hear the soft singsong voice as it passed a tiny silver rose to his own aged hands. He could feel the love that was in the voice, the caring and pleasure that his tears had brought to the young man. His own body shook now, as he saw the warm honest smile that Billy had flash before him.

His eyes narrowed as they strove to delve deeper into the small picture held in his hand. He no longer shook; his body was rock solid, square in the chair as his mind’s screams no longer echoed in his ears. Instead he felt a strange quiet invade his whole being. The turmoil within his soul was quelled by this strange new feeling as his eyes became fixed on Billy’s. It was almost as if Billy himself was reaching out to him, urging him to look deeper, to see more than he was willing to see, to see beyond the pain and sorrow.

He sat there, unaware of his surroundings, time had no meaning any longer as his soul took charge now. The pain was softened, quieted and pushed back. His mind no longer raged in a frothing anger at God or at himself. Slowly he relaxed, his muscle no longer screwed up, tense and hard. Instead he felt at ease and suddenly he knew just exactly what he had to do.

Gordon entered the small windowless room, tasting the despair and anger that seemed to fill the room. He hesitated briefly at the doorway, feeling the hopelessness inside, feeling the anger, the torment that was

gaystoryman

inside, but with his new found strength, his hand clutching the small silver pendent, he entered the room.

His eyes narrowed as he tried to focus on the dimly lit room. He saw the plain table and two chairs and there in one sat Josh. He looked terrible, there was dried blood around his mouth and his eye was swollen almost to the point of being closed. His blonde hair was completely messed, hanging in dirty disarray.

A battered defiant face glanced up at him as he moved into the room’s darkness. His heart ached as he took in the torn shirt with its dried bloodstains, the pale skin showing up with bruises and welts across the stomach.

He didn’t sit down, instead he stood there, taking it all in, letting it all soak into his mind. Gordon could feel the anger coming from the slouched figure, he could even taste the fear and anguish that consumed Josh at that very instant. Yet the most devastating sight wasn’t what he could see or taste or feel, but instead was the absolute emptiness of the dull blue eyes.

Josh couldn’t stand it, the silence of the towering old man was driving him nuts. He wanted to lash out, to hurt him and yet something was holding him back. He had been fighting for what seemed an eternity but was only a few days. He stared at Gordon with blank eyes, unwilling to see beyond the physical person. The pain was just too much, the anger too consuming, too fresh, too all encompassing.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, a harsh lilt to his normal voice. He didn’t care for any of the old man’s whines or morals or lectures now, and he made it plain as possible in the tone of his voice. He was totally closed off, or so he thought.

Gordon closed his eyes briefly as the harsh words hammered at his heart. Instead of turning and running back to his own private hell, he stood his ground. Slowly he reached into his pocket, his hand grasping the silver pendent. He felt the strength, the warmth and carefully he withdrew his hand, the long silver chain bunched up in his fist, the pendent being pressed firmly into the palm of his hand.

He moved over to the sitting figure, who didn’t move a muscle, didn’t flinch an eyelash as he approached. It was as if Josh had turned into a piece of granite, unfeeling, uncaring.

Silently, Gordon stood beside Josh, he could smell the residue of vomit on the lad, and he could smell the hatred and anger that consumed him. He moved his clenched fist to lay it in front of Josh, and slowly he undid his fingers, revealing the silver pendent.

A small gasp escaped his mouth, more like a gurgle as his eyes focused on the worthless trinket, that only a few days earlier had meant the world to him, before his world had been crushed. His heart ached under the sudden sight of the pendent, and an image of a dark haired

gaystoryman

young man, asking him if he wanted a lift flashed before his eyes.

The pain in his heart, erased by his anger, started anew. Josh fought it, his mind rebelling at the shiny silver pendent and all the memories it now held for him. With a sudden surge of raw anger he reached up to slap away the hand that held it so lovingly. The hand flew back, the silver pendent flying out and hitting the far wall with a tiny ring.

Gordon had seen the red rage grow in the young face, and before he could move, he felt his hand flying backwards, the silver pendent leaving his palm as if it had wings. The sound of it hitting the wall echoed in his ears and yet his heart stayed still, beating normal, keeping him calm.

He looked down at the rage-constricted face, seeing the hatred that was inside of the young man. Yet he also saw the innocence, the once loving boy who had spent many a night at the foot of a chair, staring up at Billy, just revelling in his presence.

Gordon walked to the far wall, and bent down and picked up the pendent. He wiped the dirt off it and held it once again tightly in the palm of his hand. He turned to face the sullen Josh.

“If you came here to give me that junk… you are wasting your time old man.”

The words felt like they had been fired out of a nail gun, each word a nail in his soul, yet he withstood the onslaught. Instead, Gordon merely looked at Josh, at the anger mirrored in his face and he shook his head once, then slowly he walked back towards the table. The pendent was still in his grasp, still warming his heart, still leading his soul.

Slowly he walked towards the table and Josh. He stood there, the pendent in his hand and this time he stared straight into Josh’s eyes. He saw nothing there, no life, no glimmer even of hope and for a second he felt defeated, felt abandoned. Just as suddenly as the feeling of despair came over him, it vanished. His hand burned from the heat of the pendent and with a renewed strength, he reached out with his free hand, grabbing the startled Josh.

With a grip like a vice, he brought Josh’s hand up from beside his leg to lay it on the table. His fingers were like hydraulic jacks as they pried open the tight fist, forcing Josh to wince in pure physical pain. His hand held Josh’s hand now, the flesh feeling cold, yet his own feeling like a blast furnace.

Slowly and painfully Josh was forced to let his hand open and as it finally lay on the table fully extended his mind tried one last time to rebel. He struggled to raise himself up, to move away from what he knew was coming, but Gordon’s strength was no match for even his young body.

The pendent dangled slowly from Gordon’s other hand, as it carefully lowered the dented pendent onto the unwilling open palm. As

gaystoryman

it touched the raw flesh, it seemed to shimmer in the dim light of the room. Finally it lay there, the pendent square in his palm, the chain coiled on top.

Gordon took his hand that had held the pendent and placed it on top of Josh’s hand, then he reached out and closed the young fist around the pendent and looked up into the blue eyes of Josh.

“Time to come home son,” was all he said.

Josh had tried to back away, he had tried to not look but something was forcing him. He no longer could control his own body motions. A strange over powering force had made his face turn and stare as the silver pendent was lowered, inch-by-inch, into his now sweating palm.

The touch of the cold metal against his skin had made him groan. His heart started to pound deep within his chest, making him gasp for air. The room swayed before his dulled eyes, and his mind’s anger suddenly seemed to stop. His body shook, his legs vibrated as if he was dead centre of 9-point earthquake.

He felt his head moving back, his face no longer staring at the pendent and instead his eyes were being drawn towards the wrinkled old face before him. His head arched back, his chest heaving with the pounding of his heart. He wanted to run; to stand up and leave this torment, but his body refused his commands. His legs shook harder, his arms quivered and his whole body trembled as his eyes began to focus on the face in front of him.

Slowly he found his hand clenching tightly the small metal pendent. A heaviness came over his heart, a deep rending pain seemed to come boiling up from deep within his body when he heard the soft sounds of Gordon’s voice echo inside his head.

He knew it was Gordon’s voice; it had to be because that was who was standing there, yet it didn’t sound at all like it. It had a strangely familiar ring to it, a ring that brought his heart leaping forward, trying to push out of his chest. His eyes bulged outwards as they focused onto the glimmering eyes in front of him.

He tried to wriggle free, yet Gordon’s hand held him down. His body would not move, and his mind was screaming for him to run, to hide, as he saw Billy’s face floating in front of him now.

There was no mistaking the soft face, the dark hair, the little tell­tale lock dangling across one side of his forehead, it was all there, all in front of him; and the eyes, those damn eyes were no mirage, it was Billy and he felt the resistance in his mind disappear.

Slowly he felt a warmth creeping inside of him. His whole body no longer trembled but seemed to suddenly relax, to release its pent up hurt and pain. His heart slowed down as his eyes remained locked on the dark embers of Billy’s eyes.

Deep within his soul he heard a strange animal growl, a cry and he

gaystoryman

blinked. For a brief second he saw red, then all of a sudden it no longer was dark in the room. The dim light no longer cast a pale yellow tinge to the dingy room. Instead he felt clear, felt the blood flowing in his veins.

Josh looked back into the eyes as the words continued to roar inside of him. He could feel the coldness leave him, the anger no longer ran his mind, and the pain no longer covered him. Tears started to well by his eyes as he started to shiver. Two strong arms engulfed him and he felt himself being lifted up off the chair and crushed into the waiting body before him.

Gordon held Josh to his bosom tightly, his arms wrapped around the now heaving body. He felt his own heart singing out, feeling the pain of the boy in his arms. Tears flowed unabated down his cheeks onto the dirty blonde hair against his face.

Together they stood there, the old man crying for his loss and yet joyful for his gain. He had won, and now he could let go of his own anger and let the healing begin. Once again he could face the coming day and while there was still a deep pain, a deep emptiness inside of him, he knew that he was not going to have to face it alone.

Josh couldn’t stop his body from heaving. His whole body shook and he cried for the first time since that first night. It was as if a dam had burst and the water flowed uncontrollably down his face. The suit jacket was drenched with his sorrow but he felt at peace now.

The guilt no longer had its hold on him, the anger no longer could control him, and the pain could no longer drape itself around him. He was suddenly free of it all and yet it didn’t diminish his loss. He had loved Billy so much, so deeply, that a hole was forever in his heart; but at least he knew that in time, when his work here was over that he would be reunited with that missing part of his heart.

It had taken several hours before the two could walk out of the police station. Not once in all that time, though, had Gordon left Josh’s side. Not for one second had they not been together, Gordon’s protective arm constantly around his young charge. No amount of police officialdom could prevent him from being with Josh, and from keeping him close. Finally together they walked out to the still waiting taxi, Josh nestled under Gordon’s arm like a wayward lost son, found at last.

No words had crossed between the silence that existed between them. They merelylooked into each other’s eyes and knew that together they would survive. They knew that there was a third person, who would never leave them, no matter what and that gave them comfort as the taxi brought them back to the ancient house on the hill.

Together they entered the bedroom, Josh’s body wedged tightly into Gordon’s own rotund figure. They opened the door, to that room,

gaystoryman

feeling his presence and they knew it was right. Slowly Gordon took Josh to the bed, and stripped the soiled shirt from his body. He then managed to quickly find a bowl, hot water, and a cloth and he tenderly wiped away the dried blood and tended to the various cuts and marks that covered the young boy.

As if he had been doing it all his life, he bundled Josh up and made him slide under the covers, where he gently bent down and kissed him lightly on the forehead. His tucked him in, and saw that, still, Josh held the silver pendent in his hand. He rose and started to head out of the room when Josh’s tired voice reached him.

“Don’t go yet… please stay… till I fall asleep, please?”

Gordon smiled and brought a chair up to sit by the bed. Josh reached out with his one hand to let Gordon hold onto, and as they touched they both looked into each other’s eyes one more time. Between them, in both hands, now rested the silver pendent, finally at home, where it belonged.

Rent Boy – Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Life is a candle before the wind.

Japanese Proverb

Josh sat in the deep rich leather of the chair, looking at the clock, waiting for the time to finally reach quarter past midnight. That was when he could expect Billy to get home from his job. He hated the waiting, especially on Saturday nights. He frowned as he tried to will the time to move faster and almost jumped as the huge hand on the clock

gaystoryman
crept past the 11 and signalled that it was still a whole hour and a bit before Billy would be home.

Gordon watched Josh over the edge of his book, his face cracked in a wide smile as he saw the way Josh kept glancing at the clock. He, too, would sneak a peak every now and then as he loved watching it when Billy came home from work.

These last two months had been very special for him. He had learned that love wasn’t just a good hard roll in the sack, but was something that never seemed to end, never seemed to tire, and definitely was always full of surprises. Gordon still laughed silently to himself as he watched the way Billy had changed. How he had grown so quickly into being someone entirely different. There was a deep sense of humour that had been locked into that boy, and now it was making up for all those years of captivity.

It still amazed him at how every Saturday morning he would find Billy in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. It wasn’t just for himself, he was cooking a banquet every morning for him and for Josh, plus he always made sure that he had enough for Gordon. What surprised him the most was that Billy insisted on serving it, even startling poor Manuel in that he insisted that Manual joined them for breakfast.

114

That first Saturday had been so funny as Billy just stood toe to toe with poor Manuel, telling him to stop fussing and sit down. The poor man almost had a heart attack, sitting with his employer and worse, not even being allowed to help in preparing the food or even in doing the dishes afterwards.

Gordon had been stunned but didn’t argue. There was a new found confidence in his young charge and it made his chest swell out with pride. Secretly he felt he had a small part to play in it, even though he thought it had more to do with Josh. That first night, after his new edicts, had been a wild one.

Even off in his own room he could hear the two boys going at it. He thought they would break the bed the way they groaned and moaned and the way he heard the bed creaking under their gyrations. The next morning, Saturday, was when Billy started his now Saturday ritual of preparing breakfasts.

Gordon hadn’t felt comfortable in letting Billy take the job over at the corner market, specially when it meant working late Friday and Saturday nights, but Josh’s determined face and Billy’s equally firm voice made him give in rather quickly. At first he didn’t understand why Billy was so insistent on taking such a menial job, but he learnt two weeks later just what a good decision it had been.

Gordon leaned back in his chair, the book against his lap as he recalled that Saturday almost two months back. It was Billy’s first pay day from the store and, as usual, he and Josh had been sitting by the fireplace, attempting to read and relax, waiting for Billy to come home.

The clock had struck midnight, and both of them became fidgety as the hands slowly etched their way past quarter after, then twenty after, then half hour after and Josh was becoming a nervous wreck. Gordon spent the next twenty minutes trying to keep Josh from running outside to check the street. He also was feeling as nervous and had decided that when young Billy did arrive home, he would get the lecture of his young life. Funny how you could remember these things, later on, and how your memory of it was so vivid. He chuckled to himself as he recalled how he had felt and how relived he was when just before 1am Billy had walked in.

He had the biggest grin on his face and all thought of lecturing him seemed to have evaporated as he watched Josh leap out of the chair into Billy’s arms. It was almost too much for Gordon and he remembered how tears were welling up in the corner’s of his eyes as he saw the way Josh kissed every part of that grinning young face.

Gordon almost broke out laughing as he remembered how after a few minutes of hard kissing Josh had pushed Billy aside and started in on him. He was asking him where the hell he had been, how come he was so late, and why didn’t he phone and all the things a parent would

gaystoryman

say to a child or a wife to a wayward husband.

Billy just stood there, smiling and letting Josh run off at the mouth. He listened politely to the lecture on his tardiness, on how Josh had been a nervous wreck waiting for him and yet his smile didn’t diminish one iota. In fact, Gordon could see that it only grew wider and more pronounced. There was no doubt that Billy was tired, but also that he was up to something.

Josh finished his little tirade and cocked his head as he realized that all of his words were having no effect on his man. He had the cutest expression on his face, sort of pouting actually, his lips pursed together, his feet apart and his hands on his hips. Gordon smiled as he thought of how Josh looked like some angry wife, taken aback by the lack of response from the erring husband.

Billy laughed then too, which was about to get a rebuke from Josh when he just grabbed Josh and hugged him tight to his body. He lifted the tall young man up and twirled him around the room, his booming laughter filling the cavernous hallway with its pure joy. Even Gordon had been taken by surprise at this outburst and he too was wondering just what was going on.

Billy, still laughing, sat Josh down on the hallway chair, then he reached inside his nylon windbreaker and pulled out a small little box. All laughter stopped abruptly as Billy looked at the box in his hand, then he glanced up at Josh and slowly pushed it forward.

“Here… it isn’t much but it is… well… it’s the first thing I have bought, on my own, from… well… uh… its not much really Josh but it is the first time in a long time that I have been able to buy something that wasn’t earned from being on my back… so…”

Josh had tears in his eyes as Billy’s halting voice tried to explain it, and his hand was now wrapped over the small box and Billy’s shaking hand. He reached out and kissed Billy, ending the broken words, and there was a big grin on his face.

Gordon couldn’t help himself, he was in tears and while he used to hate emotional outbursts, he felt so damn good right then and there. Now it all made sense to him, why Billy had insisted on taking the job at the corner market, why he had insisted on being able to earn his own money. He wanted to feel the thrill that he was obviously getting right now. The tears rolled freely down Gordon’s cheeks as he watched Josh open the tiny box.

The light from the hallway glittered on the shiny silver trinket inside. Josh brought it out, a long thin silver chain with a small pendent attached hung from his hands as he looked into Billy’s eyes. He just smiled, his eyes locked onto Billy’s sparkling dark one’s. They said nothing, just looked deeply into each others eyes.

Gordon felt a pang of jealousy, wondering when or if he would

gaystoryman

ever find such love that these two obviously shared. He wiped his eyes as he watched Billy gently kiss the moistened eyes of Josh and then made Josh stand up and turn around so he could put the chain and heart shaped pendent around the long golden neck.

He could see the desire in Josh’s eyes as he lifted the heart shaped pendent up off his chest, and looked into Billy’s eyes. Gordon could tell that there was a deep bonding going on, something he thought that had already happened, but it struck him then: that each time they stared into the others eyes; they became even closer. It was a lesson in love that he was witnessing, not just then, but each day and every second that Billy and Josh were together or apart.

His heart was aching a little at the tender scene when Billy turned to him, Josh wrapped close under one very protective loving arm. For a second he thought that Billy was going to just say goodnight and take Josh up to bed, where no doubt they would engage in another of their unbelievably loud love making sessions. Instead, Billy started to stutter a bit, then he simply once more reached into his windbreaker and pulled out another box, this one slightly longer and narrow and handed it to Gordon.

“What’s this?” he had said and tears were now flowing freely down his cheeks. It was unheard of, someone giving him a gift without it being any occasion. He looked up into Billy’s eyes and was shocked. He saw tears there, but they weren’t tears of pain or disappointment but of happiness.

gaystoryman

“It isn’t much Gordon… but I needed to, well, uh, its just something small, I know its not up to your standards… but, well…”

“If it is from you it is well up to my standards Billy; but really, you shouldn’t have spent any of your hard earned money on me… really, I…”

“Gordon, yes I did have to… to say thanks… please… take it before we are all bawling like babies… ‘kay?”

Gordon reached out to take the narrow box, his hand trembling so much he was afraid he’d drop the tiny box. His heart was filled with such joy that he was only seconds away from outright crying and he knew that so was Billy and Josh. He could feel Josh’s pride as he took the box in his shaking hand.

For a brief second their hands touched. Gordon felt a strong jolt run through his body, and he looked up into the dark eyes of Billy and the deep blue of Josh’s. For the first time in many a decade, Gordon didn’t see blank stares, or greed, instead he felt a strange warmth covering him as he saw deep into their hearts and he could feel their love wrapping itself around his ancient old body.

Gordon couldn’t help himself, he cried and as the sobs came gurgling out of his mouth, he felt two strong sets of arms wrap themselves around his shaking frame. He felt wet tears against his own shoulders as they pressed their faces against his and rested on his knees. He could smell the two boys, their freshness, their youth; all of it just seemed to burst into his heart at once.

Tears flowed freely for the first time in many years as he hugged the two boys that had touched him so much. He finally realized why he had broken his own rules, and for the very first time Gordon felt that there was someone out there who cared, someone out there who would indeed shed tears were he to pass away. His heart leapt upwards, beating slightly faster as it tasted real love, and found it to be all that he thought it would be and more.

They had broken apart, Billy and Josh standing by his feet, looking down at him. Billy wiping away Josh’s tears and Josh returning the favour, yet both of them still keeping Gordon in their vision. He trembled as his hands fought to regain control and open the box that lay on his lap.

Slowly he managed to open it to find inside a silver rose, each pedal fully etched, and off of one perfect pedal, a tiny teardrop was attached. Gordon wiped his eyes as he stared at that rose, amazed that the feeling he had just experienced was not forever etched in that single silver rose and tear.

There had been no need for any more words. Gordon had risen up from his chair, and he stretched out his massive arms wide, and both Billy and Josh merely stepped into them. It was as close to heaven as he could feel, and his heart was sounding like a chorus of church bells, ringing in the New Year. He felt so complete, so at peace that he couldn’t speak even if he wanted to.

He looked them both in the eyes, feeling their love, feeling Josh’s pride in Billy, feeling Billy’s own pride at being able to do something on his own, without the need to surrender his body. It felt like they had reached heaven and were gliding around the skies on a silver lined cloud.

Gordon heard the clock chime midnight as he glanced up to the mantle, where he had placed a small silver rose with a tiny teardrop off one pedal. He wiped his eyes as he stared up at the now glass encased ornament, his most precious object d’art in his entire collection. A small blue light shone down on the case, and he remembered how Billy’s face had lit up when he had come in two days later to find his gift so prominently displayed.

There was no denying that the last few months had been almost idyllic for them. Josh had shown an interest in becoming a caterer and to that end Gordon had him learning the ropes. He was learning food costing, how to set a table to make the service easy and yet elegant. For his part, Billy had shown his culinary skills and next week would start

gaystoryman

formal training at a chef’s college in town.

They had such plans these two, it was amazing how they would sit and plan their future. Billy would be the culinary expert while Josh would manage it for him, getting him only the best of clients. Gordon figured into it too, they would insist that he would have the best parties on the continent, for ever and for free, and he would join in their planning, sometimes just adding a piece here or there, or just sitting back, revelling in their joy at simply planning a future.

He stared at the rose, marvelling at how his own life changed too. He no longer sat at home every day, instead he was going out more, meeting new people, finding that San Francisco had a great deal to offer. In fact, he even started to take a real interest in horticulture and was rapidly becoming an expert. Who would of thought that all his years of playing in his large gardens would give him such knowledge?

Josh and Billy had pushed him too, forcing him to join a garden club of old fags, and despite his misgivings he found himself enjoying the weekly meetings and get together’s. It was a whole new world for him, and as he gazed at the single rose, he knew it was due to the two young men who lived in his home.

“You really are proud of that rose aren’t you Gordon?” Josh asked softly.

Gordon slowly turned his face towards the soft voice. He smiled as he saw the grin on Josh’s face. He could also see the pride that was there; the way Josh just oozed it as he thought of Billy.

“Yes Josh, it is really something very special to me, sort of like that necklace you have in clutched in your hand right now.”

Josh smiled, as his fingers played with the tiny silver locket that hung around his chest. He had taken it off only to shower, once, afraid it would tarnish, but he felt so naked without it, that he had run into the room to grab it halfway through that shower. It was the last time that he had it off, it was always on his neck and he found himself clutching it throughout the day or night.

“Yeah… I guess so… it really is nice, isn’t it?”

“What is Josh?”

“To be so much in love… I really never understood all those romance novels before, but now I do… I can’t imagine life any other way, can you?”

“Hehe, you know something, you really are a romantic at heart Josh, but no, I can’t imagine life any other way now, it really is something unique and special.”

Josh smiled as Gordon sat back in his chair and stared back up at the little rose. It really wasn’t an expensive one, certainly not by some of the other price tags of the ornaments in the house, and yet Josh knew that Gordon would kill if anyone damaged that little rose. Well he

gaystoryman

couldn’t blame him; it was how he felt too about the pendent and chain.

He found his fingers twirling around the pendent, feeling the shiny metal against his hand, knowing that inside were two tiny cut out photo’s, something he hadn’t discovered until a few days after he had gotten the pendent. Man, that had been a day, the way he had been so stunned to find that Billy had somehow managed to get a picture of them both, and get it cut and shaped to fit into the tiny pendent.

They were sitting out by the pool, Billy resting before getting ready to go to work and Josh had been playing with the pendant. He could see how Billy smiled each time he caught him with the pendent in his hands and now he was grinning like a wolf.

“You keep playing with that and you’ll wear out the clasp,” he had said.

“Not on your life bub… besides, if it does wear out you’ll just have to get me a new clasp…”

“Sure, make me work long hours and buy you jewellery, just like a typical wife… hehe.”

“Bitch… and you love it anyway…”

“What, the working?”

“No silly, buying me stuff… you know one day we should get a couple of photo’s and stick them in here, after we get them cut down to size of course… hehe.”

“One day? Well I don’t know… the way your head is these days, I’d need to get an awfully bigger pendent… and they don’t come that large… hehe.”

“Fuck you… hmm, maybe we could get nudes… I could put that Brad Pitt picture in here, next to mine… hehe.”

“Oh, and he calls me a bitch… listen to her, hehe.”

“Yeah, well, it was an idea… hehe.”

“True, but you know, I don’t think there is room in there for any more pictures… hehe.”

“WHAT? Hey you…”

Josh pulled the pendent up and opened it with his fingernail, and there inside were indeed two pictures. On one side was a cut out of him, and the other one had a picture cut out of Billy. He stared down into the dark sparkling eyes that were his lover’s and he looked up, to see Billy standing over him, that same sparkle full sized and twinkling like a million stars had just burst out into the sky.

He looked back down at the smiling face, then up to the real one and his heart trembled as he realized once more just how much Billy was his man, his mate, his lover. He began to cry as the strong arms came down and lifted him upwards, gently shutting the pendent in his hands. His face was tilted upwards and he saw the sparkling eyes coming closer to his face.

gaystoryman

120

Josh felt the kiss on his lips, the salt from his tears smeared with the saliva from his mouth and he felt the rough edge of Billy’s tongue flick outwards and take the teardrops away. He opened his mouth to let his lover’s tongue in and he felt the warmth once more flare back into life, back to being a raging inferno deep within his soul.

He felt a small pang at his heart as he gripped the pendant tightly. It meant so much to him, it was his rose, and he looked up to see a knowing smile in Gordon’s eyes. He answered back with his own smile, turning his face into a thing of beauty, least, which was what Gordon, said, and echoed loudly by Billy. He felt strangely nervous as he thought back to when he discovered the pictures.

Josh had never known such love before, and it amazed him how each passing day brought him new awareness of just how much Billy meant to him. He would wake up at night, to just prop himself up on one elbow and stare over at the sleeping Billy next to him. Strange, but he had never felt comfortable with someone else in the bed with him, yet when he tried to sleep without Billy, he never could.

The few times that Billy would get up to fix breakfast, like on Saturdays, he would awaken before Billy could even get to the bathroom. Billy would always tell him to go back to sleep and he would smile and agree yet he never could. He would lay there, waiting till Billy had finished showering and gone down to start his cooking.

He would then rise and shower himself, feeling the wet towel that Billy had just used, or smelling the fresh scent of his soap. It always made him very horny and yet not in a sexual way really. It was like he was merely pinching himself, letting him know that what he had wasn’t some dream, that it was real.

Josh couldn’t explain it, he had tried a few times, but the words just never came out. He loved Billy so much that he felt like he was missing something of his own body when Billy wasn’t there. He hated it when he went out the door, even if it was to just go and grab some groceries.

Funny, but in the last few months, they really were never alone much. Generally if they needed something, the other would always go along. He had asked Billy why he came with him once, and was stunned to find that Billy simply didn’t want to be out of his sight. That had gotten a big wet kiss from him, and it had also made him feel all tingly and warm inside. He had felt the same way, but had felt that maybe he was smothering Billy.

To find out that Billy felt the same way had made him feel like there was no stopping them. Their future was ahead of them and they dreamed of it and he knew that only death would ever separate them. He shivered as that thought floated by his mind and the hall clock struck the midnight hour.

Josh felt a slight chill as the last of the chimes echoed and he

gaystoryman

started to settle himself. These last few minutes were always the hardest for him, as he waited for Billy to get home. He would start to sweat a little, as the minutes would drag by, and inside his heart would start to go just a bit faster as the time grew closer.

Josh leaned back in the chair, his eyes fixed to the very slow moving minute hand of the clock as his hands clutched the shiny pendent on his chest. He could feel Billy next to him, his heart could feel his touch, and his nose could smell that very special scent of sweat and Billy that aroused him totally. His body was bracing itself for his arrival, as it always did.

It was kind of funny actually, the way he would feel his cock stirring in his pants, right at around 10 after the hour, he could feel his pants feel tight, knowing that his dick was itching to welcome home its partner, its mate, its love. His buttocks would feel clammy too, as it too seemed anxious to feel Billy’s touch. He never could get used to that, the way he would itch and squirm those last few minutes before the front door opened.

It wasn’t that he was a sex maniac; it was just that he didn’t feel whole unless he could touch and caress that warm body of Billy’s. There was no other feeling like the soft touch of Billy’s hands across his chest. The way he would move the pendent from over his heart then bend down and kiss his chest. God, that feeling was so awesome; it always made him struggle to retain control. He knew if he didn’t , that the kiss would make him blow his load then and there, which really wasn’t a bad idea but there was always so much more to do before he could let himself loose like that.

Sex with Billy was always special, always different, no matter how tired he was, and when he got home he was hornier than Josh. He never thought that was possible, yet night after night Billy would prove him wrong. God, it felt so good to be loved like this, and he had a whole lifetime of this to look forward to.

The sudden thought brought his head up to stare at the clock and he saw the minute hand creeping just past the 3, and he looked towards the doorway, waiting for the tell tale sound of a key in the lock, and the creak of the knob as it would open to reveal to his aching heart his other half.

The seconds ticked on by, louder with each click, echoing harshly in his head as they moved onwards. His heart started to race ahead, eager for its nightly release. The love inside of him was growing stronger now, as the seconds continued their slow march forward. He could feel the palms of his hands getting sweaty as one hand clutched the arm of the chair and the other held tightly to the pendent.

The clock ticked forward and as the hand reached the 12 and the long hand of the clock jerked forward to rest on the 6, the chimes

gaystoryman

started, signalling the half hour. Josh felt his heart constrict, a deep chill seemed to suddenly materialize and he felt cold. It was as if an icy hand had reached inside and squeezed his heart.

Josh stared at the door, waiting for the scratching noise of a key being inserted into the lock, when the house shook to the soft clamour of the door chimes. His hand jerked and he felt a tug on his neck, then he looked down into his hand. Therelay the pendent, the chain dangling downwards.

The sudden noise of the door chimes had made his hand pull down, and the chain had broken in his force. The pendent lay there, staring up at him and suddenly he felt scared. Something was wrong and he could feel tears coming to his eyes. His heart seemed to stop beating for a second as the chimes continued to sound in the room.

Gordon looked at Josh; saw the chain dangling from out of his closed fist. A cold hand gripped his heart as he dropped the book in his hand. His eyes traveled first to Josh’s face, then as if being drawn by a magnet it focused on the glass encased rose. He blinked as he saw the light glitter on the small teardrop, hanging from the pedal. His whole body shivered, as he stared at the rose. Fear gripped him and he could see it raging inside of Josh’s face.

Silently he rose up out of the chair. He reached out to help Josh stand up and he could see the panic etched across the young face. He smiled, trying to calm the boy’s nerves, failing as his own fears grow inside of him. His eyes looked down at the broken chain, clutched tightly in Josh’s hand, his knuckles white from the pressure and his own eyes took a backwards glance at the rose above the mantle.

The light seemed dim, the blue light barely visible, as if a cloud had passed over it. He shivered and could feel his heart trembling with pure fear. His hand shook as it rested on Josh’s shoulder and he turned back to stare at the young blond next to him. There were tears in his eyes, and darkness that he had never seen before.

Together they walked out into the hallway to find Manuel by the front door, his aged body sagging by the massive doorframe. Gordon could feel the cold penetrate his spine, making every step pure agony as he walked towards the door and the unknown visitors.

Manuel turned to look at the approaching bodies and his face showed his own fear. Gordon could see the lines of age clearly etched on the servants face, but they were different this time. He glanced upwards, to stare over his servant towards the doorway, to see two tall young men.

He narrowed his eyes, feeling Josh’s hand grip his own, feeling him pressing the pendant deep into his skin as he recognized the figures as being two Police Officers. They stood there,in their dark blue uniforms, badges glittering in the hallway lights.

gaystoryman

Gordon took it all in, the uniforms, the dark face of one, and the pale face of the other. Neither of the two officers able to look at him or Josh as they approached the doorway. Neither of them able to keep their eyes on any one place as he and Josh stopped besides the shaking figure of Manuel.

Somehow Gordon managed to summon up enough courage to speak.

“Yes Officers… is there something wrong?”

Gordon hated the sound of his voice, hated having to ask and yet he knew he must. His heart felt like ice, and he could feel Josh’s hand clasping his tight, feel the icy cold of the once hot hand.

“Uh, yes sir, I am afraid so… I am sorry but there isn’t any easy way to say this…”

That was all he heard as he felt his whole left side stagger with a sudden pressure of immense pain. His mouth flew open as he staggered against the opened door. Two strong arms reached out for him and he felt a tugging on his left arm as he fought to regain his balance.

The pressure on his hand was gone, it was numb and ached as he leaned against the solid wooden door, the hands helping to keep him from falling to the tiled floor. He stared blankly ahead, seeing the stars outside, but they weren’t clear to him. They didn’t shine out in the clear blue of the night, they seemed tarnished, dull and lifeless.

His heart ached and he could feel a strange tightness around his chest. He was having trouble catching his breath and yet he couldn’t move. His legs felt like lead, his arms dangled at his side and he felt dizzy.

Gordon could feel himself being carried, his legs shuffling along the floor as two very strong arms seemed to be guiding him to the chair. Manual was leaning still against the doorframe, his eyes blank.

He glanced down and saw the floor but nothing else, he turned to stare outside and saw nothing, no moon, no stars, just black emptiness. Tears were flowing down his cheeks now and his heart quaked from a pain that was tearing him apart. He had never felt such pain, such anguish as he did right now and he couldn’t speak. His mouth moved but he couldn’t hear any words, nothing came from his lips.

The room seemed to be dark, there was a yellow tint to it but he couldn’t make anyone out. He knew there were people there, he could hear the soft rumble of voices inside his head and yet he couldn’t see anyone. Where was Billy, he needed Billy to help him, but he couldn’t find him. He reached out with his hand, hearing the sound of metal striking the floor.

It was his pendent, it had fallen from his grasp and he bent forward to search for it. Josh was on his knees, tears were flowing from his face, and he cried, “THE PENDENT, WHERE IS THE PENDENT?” but

gaystoryman

no one answered him right away.

He was feeling all around the floor, struggling to find the pendent but he couldn’t move, his arms were being held and he felt himself being lifted up, being restrained. Damn it, he couldn’t let them do this, he had to find the pendent, Billy would be upset if he knew he had lost it, he couldn’t do that, he had to find the pendent.

“PLEASE, I HAVE TO FIND IT, CAN”T YOU SEE… BILLY WILL BE MAD, I NEED TO FIND IT. GOD SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT… OH GOD PLEASE,” he cried out, the sound of his young voice ripping apart the quiet of the night air. It shook the house, and his sobs filled the emptiness of the night.

“OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME,” he shouted out, his body pressed against the wall, his legs unmoving, his body shaking uncontrollably as he searched for the pendent.

Suddenly he felt his hand being opened by someone’s strong grip and a soft metal disc being place in the palm of it. He knew it was his pendent and he cried, his tears flowing uncontrollably down his cheeks, dropping heedlessly to the floor.

Gordon had heard the cries and added his own as the light gradually grew clearer to him. His heart was aching beyond measure, his whole body still shook but the urgent plea of Josh’s voice woke him to action. He shrugged off the two strong arms that held him, surprising everyone with their power and he strode quickly to the fallen figure of Josh.

gaystoryman

He saw the pendant on the floor by his feet and quickly he picked it up, then pried open the young hand, to gently place it inside. He saw the recognition dawn on Josh’s anguish riddled face, and he saw the tears of pain flowing unheeded down his cheeks. He grabbed the boy out of the policeman’s arms and brought him into his own pain-ravaged body. Together they cried, their tears mingling together to form a river of despair and loneliness that only time and God could ever heal.

Rent Boy – Chapter 8

Chapter 8

If you look Up, There are no limits.

Japanese Proverb

They had talked the whole afternoon away and slowly Billy had started to get excited. He saw the way Josh’s eyes lit up each time he came up with a new idea or a new thought on what he could do; but the greatest thrill was when Gordon asked Josh what he wanted to do.

It had been an awkward moment until Josh said he had always wanted to be more than just a labourer. Gordon had simply beamed at

gaystoryman

him and Billy could even feel his own chest swelling with pride. This was his guy and well, it seemed only right.

Dinner was even more of the same except when Gordon brought out the bottle. Billy’s face dropped a mile as he recognized the Dom Perngion Champagne. He had seen it before, and knew that this wasn’t exactly a dinner drink, this was for something special and Gordon knew how to make it that. For the first time Billy actually believed that his life was turning around for the better.

It was a totally awesome experience for both Billy and Josh. For the first time, both of them were actually able to think more of what they wanted than of what they had to do. Josh couldn’t believe his good fortune. Only a few months earlier he had thought that he would never see his nineteenth birthday, that the scars he carried inside would always be there, until that day, the day he had planned to end his pain and that of his young life’s sorrows.

Now he had Billy, and while that had brought him a great deal of joy, the sight of him all battered and bruised had shaken him back to his own reality. He had felt that life wasn’t meant to be happy, and yet now, from that pain he was getting a chance. He still wasn’t sure of how or why, but the transformation of Gordon was uplifting. It gave him hope that maybe his own life could really be something.

Josh smiled at Billy, as they sat on the edge of the huge bed, in the huge bedroom they had moved into now lock stock and barrel. Tomorrow Gordon was taking them shopping he said. He couldn’t have his new found adopted sons looking like rag muffins. Billy still wasn’t sure, but hadn’t argued much, as he was still trying to figure out the why’s and what’s of it all. He did know one thing though, that it felt good not to have to worry about a place to stay for tomorrow, or where the food was going to come from tomorrow or the next day.

Billy stared across at Josh, seeing the light in his eyes. Funny, he had noticed that Josh had a nice sparkle but he was absolutely radiant tonight. His eyes sparkled like the entire sky had come down to earth and now resided inside of his body. It was like he was glowing from deep within, his smile as bright as the sun shining in the morning, his eyes sparkling as if they had a thousand stars blinking inside of them. This was a complete turn around, and he could feel something else, he could feel lightness in his own chest. There wasn’t any weight, pressure, holding him down.

He leaned over and kissed Josh on the lips, in mid sentence, and felt the saliva of his lover. It had a strange taste to it, a sort of minty flavour, but he liked it. The surprise kiss made his own heart skip a quick beat, and he leaned back.

“What was that for?”

“Oh, I don’t know… guess just cause I love you.”

Damn, was that him talking? Billy couldn’t believe it, here he was, fresh bruises still hurting all over, burns on his thighs and his cock, and he was happy, ecstatic in fact. Funny how just the idea of not being a fucking whore anymore in order to live could simply erase the pain.

Josh looked at Billy, leaning back on his arms now, smiling like a Cheshire cat. He could still feel the warm pressure of his lips, when he just reached across and kissed him. He could feel the way his heart had leapt forward, as if reaching out in its own way to not miss any of Billy’s presence. He could smell him even now, as if he was right under his nose, not 2 feet away.

“What you grinning at?”

“Hehe… you Mr. Sexy.”

“Yeah, you say that but I don’t see you doing anything about it.”

“Oh, is that a dare?”

“Well…”

Josh launched his body forward, taking Billy completely by surprise. He fell into the lanky frame, forcing Billy to fall backwards, his arms now stretched outwards, his back firmly planted into the mattress. A pleased smile of pure joy splitting his face wide open, was all that Josh could see. It made his heart quiver with anticipation as he forced his legs

gaystoryman

to either side of Billy’s prone body.

He sat on top of Billy, his hands resting firmly on top of the chest, keeping his ‘man’ down on the bed. He looked down, smiling with a wicked grin curling around his jaw. His eyes were sparkling as he stared down at the well built upper body of his lover. His heart felt light, for the first time since he hit the road. It was as if he could be a kid again, not have to worry about things like how to pay the rent, where he and Billy were going to eat next, or if Billy would come home all battered and bruised again.

“You just going to sit there or you got a plan?”

Billy’s taunting voice broke through his reverie, and he bent down, planting a huge wet kiss on the nose of his lover. Billy squirmed a little, trying to shift his weight, but Josh held him tight, and started to reach down with his hands. He pushed the thin shirt open, feeling a button pop but no longer caring. He reached inside to feel the warm beat of Billy’s heart.

Billy cried out, the cold hand of Josh making him shiver, and he reached up with his own hands now to firmly grip Josh’s waist. The touch of his own hands around Josh made him tingle all over. His whole body started to quiver, as if it had just touched an electrical current. He felt a strange warm sensation running through his entire body.

Slowly he managed to catch his breath, feeling Josh’s hand running down his chest, touching him like it was a new experience. He blinked as he opened his eyes. For some odd reason he couldn’t focus, he knew Josh was there, but so was a soft blue light. It just seemed to flow outwards from the darker figure that had to be Josh. Once more he blinked, and as he did he could feel his heart starting to pound inside his chest. The soft hands were gently touching him, loving him, and he felt like he could simply float away.

Billy dropped his hands and lay there on the bed as Josh lightly ran his hands along the battered body. Each bruise, each ache that he had seemed to suddenly disappear from his memory. He could feel something leaving him, yet he didn’t feel any loss, instead he felt like he was finally becoming whole, becoming a real person, not just someone’s idea of a good time.

His breathing was becoming ragged as he surrendered to the warmth and the blue light. Billy gazed upwards, watching the intent expression on Josh’s face as his hands moved ever so slowly along his chest. He saw Josh take a breath as one of his hands found his right nipple, gently playing with it. Billy could see the sudden deepening of the blue that seemed to emanate from Josh. He realized the blue was deepening as it registered in Josh’s head that he was touching the nipple that had the burn scab on it.

gaystoryman

104

Billy was mesmerized by the deepening blue, and instead of feeling guilty or remorse, he felt nothing but a heightened sense of love and understanding. His eyes locked onto Josh’s and he didn’t see anger, he didn’t see any revulsion, all he could see was a deepening love. Tears started to flow down his cheeks as the realization hit him, and instead of being ashamed, he just lay there, exposing his true feelings to the one person who could help him.

Josh saw the small drops running down the corners of Billy’s face as his fingers ran lightly across the battered and bruised nipple. He felt the roughness of the newly formed scar, caused by a cigarette burn. He felt his heart reach out, trying to cover the pain, willing the flesh to forget the pain it had endured. He looked down at his lover, feeling his surrender.

Slowly Josh reached up with his hand, his fingers trembled slightly, but he regained control, and lightly he wiped away the rolling tears. He bent down now, his face just above Billy’s, and as he closed his eyes, he saw a blue shadow float down and envelop them both, just as his lips brushed up against Billy’s tear stained eyes.

Josh could feel his heart reaching out now, could feel his whole body starting to gather itself, to prepare itself. He thought briefly at how worried he had been that night, how scared he was, and he felt a slight chill, wondering if that would ever happen again. As he looked down he knew that he only wanted one thing out of life, that was to never be apart from Billy.

His lips brushed lightly, tasting the salt of the tears and suddenly he found himself stretched out on top of Billy’s prone body. He could feel his heart pounding inside his chest as he started to kiss the cheeks, then the nose, feeling his penis straining within his jeans. His hands now were pushing down, feeling the strong muscles that were Billy’s stomach.

The feeling of Josh’s lips sent a wave of warmth throughout his entire body. Billy couldn’t stop himself, tears continued to roll down his cheeks, and as each one passed from his eyes, he could feel Josh kissing him, feeling him wipe them away with the touch of his hand, and he knew then that he had found his soul mate, the one person who he could share everything with.

Billy opened his eyes to find the deep blue of Josh’s eyes staring lovingly into his own dark eyes. His body seemed to suddenly spring alive, the muscles coiled inside him. He could feel his stomach tighten, his balls pushing upwards, his penis pressing hard up against his jeans. His lungs seemed to be sucking in the air like a vacuum and yet he still felt like he needed more air.

They stared at each other, lost in their own thoughts of love. Josh couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and feeling. His heart ached, not

gaystoryman

from pain but from the strong feeling of love and need of Billy.

It was like suddenly being brought to the surface after spending an eternity in the dark recess of the earth. Billy felt like he had just been reborn, the way his heart leapt for joy, as it felt Josh’s firm and urgent beat.

Billy reached up, his hands pressed against either side of Josh’s head and he brought that beautiful shaggy haired face down to meet his own. As his eyes closed he saw nothing but Josh’s mouth as he brought his lips up to taste the young fresh pink lips. He could feel the warmth, the salt from his tears on the thin lips, and his body trembled.

As his lips touched Josh’s, he felt the bed shake beneath him, and he knew that he had just surrendered himself to another human being. For the first time Billy willingly, without any doubts, any guilt, any hesitation, gave himself up to another human being. His muscles suddenly released themselves; his cock began to jerk hard within his pants, as his tongue tasted his own salty tears on Josh’s lips. He shivered as the tip of his tongue touched the warm rough tip of Josh’s and together they started to court, one minute flashing in one’s mouth, then retreating as the other prodded inside, poked around, tasting each inch of the other’s mouth.

He felt Josh’s lips crush against his own, felt his breath leave his body and suddenly he was breathing from Josh’s own lungs. His body continued to quake as the mouths joined together and they kissed hard now, neither one willing to stop to let the other have a taste. Their tongues battled for space as they ran around the teeth, the gums, tasting each other, revelling in each other’s peculiar taste.

Josh could feel his whole body shaking as he pressed down harder and harder against Billy’s own quivering body. He could feel the legs shaking, the vibrations from his chest as Billy’s muscles uncoiled. His own body matched tremor for tremor, quake for quake, as their mouths became one. Their breath no longer his or mine, but theirs as they breathed as one. He could feel Billy’s warm breath flow into his own lungs, feel his breath reach deep inside of Billy.

His legs were to the outside of Billy’s, and yet they couldn’t move, the shaking was just too much. His whole body was nothing but a mass of shakes now as they kissed harder and harder.

Gradually the shaking slowed down, the tremors no longer coming on top of each other. Both bodies started to regain their composure. Billy could hear his heart pounding inside him, or was that Josh’s? As he wondered at it, he also realized that together, they were one and with one final spasm, his body sprung upwards to meet Josh’s own trembling downward heave.

Josh had his face against Billy’s, his heavy breath now blowing across the red lips of Billy. Their eyes slowly opened together, as they

gaystoryman

stared once more into each other’s soul. There was no tremor, no trembling, no quaking, just peace as they lay there soaking up each other’s presence. It was no longer a miracle to them, no longer a shock; it was as it was supposed to be.

“I love you Billy.”

“I know Josh, I know.”

“I came in my pants Billy but…”

“Yes… but we have a whole lifetime of doing this, and Josh…”

“Yes?”

“So did I.”

Josh stared across at Billy and sighed deeply, knowing it was indeed real. This was his love, his mate. Billy could feel his acceptance within Josh’s heart. His eyes misted over as he reached across and lightly kissed Josh.

They lay there, breathing in the air, breathing in the special smell that was each other. It was intoxicating to them both, and Josh felt like he had just drank a Texas Mickey of alcohol, he was so buzzed. Billy felt light headed, as if he had just spent an entire evening drinking, and he felt all warm, safe and secure. A feeling that was strange to him these last several years, but which was slowly coming back to his memory.

“What are you thinking of ?”

“You.”

“Yeah, right. Seriously Billy what are you thinking of ?”

“I am serious… I am thinking of you, me, of all of this, how you can go to sleep aching and all, then wake up and find yourself somewhere totally different.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean… this is real isn’t it Billy?”

“Uh huh, I didn’t think it was at first, but yeah… it’s real.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet, I … well…”

“What?”

“I don’t know… I kind of want to get a job, a real job where you get an hourly wage, no haggling after, no showers after, none of that crap… sounds stupid doesn’t it?”

“No… no it doesn’t… but what kind of job?”

“I don’t know… hell maybe just working at the corner store there for a bit…”

“Really? But… I mean is that all you want to do?”

“No… not for ever, but yeah, just for now, for a bit.”

“Why, I mean Gordon is willing to help us do more than that… why would you…”

“Be a store clerk or such? I guess because I can now… yeah I want more, lots more, but right now I just want to get a real pay check, not a hand out, shit, I ain’t saying this right.”

gaystoryman

“I think I know what you mean, I guess…”

“Look, I know that we can get more, do more, and I want that, as long as we do it together. But right now I want to just earn enough to take you out for a cup of coffee without asking for a handout, without having to find some guy for a quick score… lame isn’t it?”

“No… fuck, I don’t need any coffee from some shop Billy, not as long as we are together. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I know that Josh… that is why I need to do this… you deserve more than…”

“Billy, don’t… I think I know what you mean… and it’s okay with me, whatever makes you happy…”

Billy just stared at Josh; he could feel the immense trust and love that was in that lanky farm boy body. How far they had come in just a few months, and now they had a chance at a real future. He could actually do something with his life, not just be a bed warmer for some old guy.

Josh could see the way Billy was thinking and he reached out with his hand, to lay it across the broad chest, to feel the heart beating away within. He sighed as his hand touched the warm body and Billy groaned slightly as well. It was as if they were in harmony together, not just sexually, or even physically but in a very deep spiritual way.

It waslike they could actually read each other’s thoughts, as they lay there thinking of a future. There was something exciting about it, the way Josh could look at Billy and feel how he wanted to set about on this new life. What amazed him, and sent a shiver down his spine, was that when he would have an answer or question to those thoughts, he could feel Billy hearing them inside, he could actually feel an answer too, and that made him tingle all over.

Billy got up and headed off for the bathroom, the night growing old, as they had lain there just enjoying being next to each other. There wasn’t a second when some part of their bodies weren’t touching, keeping in tune with the other. It was also a time when they felt at total peace. Nothing could intrude on their future planning.

He entered the bathroom, switching on the soft glowing yellow light and did his business. Billy stared into the mirror as he washed up, looking into his own dark eyes, seeing the little boy who had left home so battered and bruised, barely alive. He saw his past flash before him, the tricks, and the run-ins with police, crooks, and other’s that a life living alone brought you into contact with.

In the past it would make him sad, but this time he could see it all, and instead of it taking hold and controlling him, it just seemed to pass by. Now he saw him and Josh, trees rolling across the view, never ending. There were fields of flowers and birds chirping as he wiped his hands. Finally he was seeing more than a cloud ahead, he was seeing

gaystoryman

sunshine and pleasure. His whole body seemed to glow as he stared into the mirror, feeling so comfortable, so warm, and so damn excited.

Walking back into the bedroom, he noticed a small flickering light by the bed, a soft dancing yellow light greeted him and he stopped just inside the room. His eyes narrowed, getting accustomed to the light, and there on the bed he saw Josh, lying with his head propped up on two pillows.

He smiled and was rewarded with a wide grin from the body on the bed. Billy could see a small candle flickering on the nightstand and as he looked back towards Josh, he could see that Josh had stripped down to nothing and was lying there totally naked. God, he looked so damn handsome there, his long legs stretched out, his full young body glistening in the semi dark of the night.

Orange shadows crossed the golden body, making it glitter in the pale light. Billy took a deep breath, feeling his own body reacting to the vision before his eyes. As the flickering light crossed Josh’s body, Billy could see the pale blue outline around his lover’s body. He could almost feel the heat reaching out towards him, and he walked slowly towards the bed, stopping briefly at the foot of the bed to remove his own clothes.

As he came up to the edge of the bed, he looked down at Josh. The flickering candle silhouetted him and it brought an even wider grin to Josh’s face. The smile made Josh’s face spread open, the deep blue eyes glittering in the pale light, like two newly formed stars in the dark night sky. They held his attention as he slowly crawled onto the bed to lie next to Josh.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me Josh,” Billy whispered softly as he ran his hand lovingly down the firm young body. It was thrilling to just touch the warm flesh, to feel the way the body reacted, moving to his touch, as if wanting more of it, as if saying, MORE, MORE .

Josh didn’t say anything, he just looked up into Billy’s eyes and reached out to take the slow moving hand on his belly and pushed it down towards his groin. As he did he reached up with his other hand to pull the dark haired boy above him down to his own face.

With his eyes locked onto Billy’s he opened his mouth and he felt the rough edge of Billy’s tongue running across his teeth. His heart ached as it started to race inside his chest. His pulse rate shot up and his breathing was becoming faster as he looked deep into the dark eyes, seeing the warm glowing light that was Billy.

Their lips touched, and it was like a hot fire erupting in the middle of a dry forest. Their passion could no longer be held in check, and Josh groaned loudly, filling the room with his urgent demand for love. Billy’s own voice echoed the same sentiment and suddenly the two bodies

gaystoryman

were engaged totally.

Arms were entwined together, legs wrapping themselves up with the others as if trying to join together. Their fully erect penises pushed and poked and prodded the other, as if searching for an opening to bury themselves in.

Hands roamed across the firm flesh, touching every opening, feeling every scar, every indent in the bodies they were attacking. They moved slowly one second, then frantically the next, as if afraid they would miss some corner, some piece of the hot flesh.

Billy’s mind couldn’t keep track as wave after wave of pure love flowed through him. His whole body was a mass of twisting limbs and heart palpitating jolts. His toes arched outwards, his fingers flexed outwards, ever searching, constantly touching. It was like they were seeing each other for the first time. Their unbridled passion burst forth, their hard bodies grew harder. Their muscles coiled even tighter within their young bodies, the skin grew taut as the passion flowed from deep within their souls.

Josh could barely breath, he felt like his head would explode with all the wonderful feelings that was bombarding his thoughts. There was so much to do, so much to feel, that his brain was reaching out to try and gather it all in. His heart was pounding, relentless in its beat, strident in its desire.

Billy could feel his whole body aching under the strain of being so tight, so hard. He could feel the tiny beads of sweat forming as he twisted his body, willing his limbs to bend in ways they weren’t meant to. He couldn’t not be a part of Josh, not now, now he needed to be as one with the lanky eager body next to him. His heart was pushing him harder, urging his body onwards, to fit, to mix, and to join.

Josh didn’t think his heart could go any faster, yet somehow it managed to increase its speed. His whole chest ached, along with every part of his body. One second he found himself tasting Billy’s mouth, then he was kissing the soft flesh of his inner thigh, he even tasted the salty top of Billy’s hard cock. Each sensation, each kiss brought him even more pleasure and made his heart race even faster.

He was sure he would explode any second, the way his whole body seemed to be convulsing. The touch of his lips against Josh’s full balls almost made him cry out in pain, the feeling was so intense. His body was moving in so many directions at once that he lost all track of where he was.

The bed groaned and creaked as the two young bodies flew all over the surface, springing one second to the edge on one side, then up to the top of the bed, then back to the foot and all over. It groaned almost as loudly as the two boys did, as their mouths found new spots to kiss and taste.

gaystoryman

110

Josh could feel his body surging, the blood just rampaging inside like a burst dam. His head was light and everything seemed to just float around him as he twisted and turned. His mouth was tasting new sensations every second, feeling the saltiness of Billy’s pre-cum one second, then the sweet pungent taste of his pink sphincter muscle.

They moved in a weird dance, their legs crossing a chest one second, then lying across an arm the next. Billy slipped his hard penis into Josh’s rectum once, to spread his lover open, feeling the sudden intake of breath as he entered, then he was back out, his mouth replacing his throbbing penis. Billy’s tongue worked its way deep inside Josh’s opened rectum.

Then it was Josh’s turn as Billy moved up and as he reached to kiss his lover’s sweat covered face, he felt his buttocks itching as he lowered himself quickly onto the pulsing pole that poked at him. He cried out briefly as the hot dripping penis entered his own tight anus, and yet he needed more than that. Billy kissed hard, sending his tongue rampaging down into the eager and willing throat as his buttocks tightened its hold on the pulsing cock inside. He could feel his rectal muscles contracting, forcing the inner muscles to wrap even harder around the thick throbbing cock.

Josh flung his arms from side to side as he felt Billy squeezing his throbbing cock. There was no sense of time as he lurched his body upwards, forcing his thick cock even deeper into the eager rectum of Billy. His mouth was sore from the harsh probing of Billy’s tongue; his cock sore from the tight hold of Billy’s ass on his cock. He groaned loudly knowing that his time was coming very quickly. Somehow he managed to gain some control over his hands and he found his fingers now wrapped around the hot pulsing penis of Billy.

He stroked it with each thrust of his hips upwards; with each flick of Billy’s tongue he squeezed his fingers tighter. Josh could feel his saliva dripping out of the corners of his mouth, and he could taste the sweet flavour of Billy’s tongue as his body tightened its hold. His muscles were coiling even harder and he could feel his back pressing deep into the bed, forcing the springs even farther down.

Billy knew it was close, he could sense it, his mind was now reaching out, his whole being concentrated deep with Josh’s soul. He could feel each muscle coiling, feel the tenseness, the way the legs were now stretched fully out, the toes arching down towards the side of the bed. His own body was coiling in unison with that of Josh. The time was coming and suddenly he broke off, taking his mouth off the firm thin lips of his lover, his tongue no longer pushing down the warm open throat.

His whole body lifted itself, feeling the prone taut body beneath him reach upwards, as if to hold onto his own sweating flesh. He could

gaystoryman

barely breath, his chest was so tight from a lack of air, yet he struggled to gasp for more as he flung himself around.

Billy felt the hot throbbing cock slide out of his rectum in one swoop. His eyes opened, he turned and with his hips now resting over Josh’s face, he lowered his face towards the red throbbing cock in front of him. He could see the white pre-cum oozing out of the swollen cock head, and he felt his own cock now pressing against Josh’s own opened mouth.

For one brief second he stared at the thick waving cock in front of his mouth. He saw the tiny blond hairs matted all around the base of the thick cock, seeing the way they curled around, and then his mouth was over the thick red head. He could taste the salty pre-cum and then he felt his lips slide down the hot flesh, feeling the thick vein underneath the hot shaft quiver as his lips pressed against the taut skin.

Josh could feel the wet sticky cream against his lips. He opened his mouth eagerly to accept this sudden gift, and he opened his eyes to watch the body above his face lower itself slowly onto his face. He breathed deeply, smelling that special scent that was Billy and he could feel his heart leap forward. It felt like it had left his body as the hot throbbing cock pushed past his teeth and wedged itself slowly into his mouth.

The hot cock pushed his tongue aside, refusing to stop its downward motion. Josh watched the dark wiry hair of Billy’s groin come closer to his face, closer with each passing second. He marvelled at the way the body came down to him, ever so slowly, ever so carefully, letting the huge hot flesh of his penis fill his mouth, then work its way down his wide open throat.

He could see the balls swinging lightly underneath, their sac containing the very essence of his lover. Josh opened his eyes wider as he tasted the warm pre-cum sliding down his throat in advance of the pulsing cock head. The dark haired balls were closer now, brushing up against his nose as the huge cock filled his mouth, and his throat with its heat.

Josh breathed in deeply, sucking the huge pole even further into his throat, feeling himself gasp for air as the huge throbbing piece of flesh filled him. He could feel his body shake to the pressure, and he cried out in pure joy as every muscle in his body seemed to come alive, and spring outward.

Billy felt the tremor start deep inside of Josh. He could feel the excitement in the throbbing cock as it filled his throat and wedged itself deep into him. The huge balls were tight against the shaking cock shaft and he wrapped his hands around the hot sweaty hips of his lover. The touch of his fingers brought an even harder tremble to the body beneath him.

gaystoryman

112

He could feel his own body shaking, feel his own muscles suddenly reaching outwards. A distant cry started to penetrate his ears as he found himself letting out a loud vibrant groan. His body was unleashing his muscles and he felt the room shake beneath him. Everything went all grey on him, the shape of the throbbing cock, the full balls lost their definition as his mind simply couldn’t take it all in anymore.

A wave of pure energy seemed to suddenly appear around them. Josh could feel a sudden burning in his throat and his groin and he felt his body arching upwards. His whole body had sprung up and it drove Billy’s throbbing cock further than he thought humanly possible. Huge streams of salty sweet cum came flooding into his throat and it made his body quiver and vibrate.

Billy’s muscles let go and his whole body came crashing down hard on top of Josh. He felt the huge throbbing cock jerking inside his mouth as his face pressed harder onto the groin. The blond pubic hairs of Josh now etched deep into his face as he swallowed the hot cock like he had never swallowed a cock before. Huge streams of Josh’s milk came flooding out into his throat and down into his belly. He could taste the sweetness of the cum and his throat eagerly drank it all, holding onto the pulsing cock, squeezing it even tighter as if to drain every drop of the precious liquid.

As he drank eagerly of the hot juice, he felt his buttocks quiver and shake as his own penis was pouring its own hot milk into just as eager a throat. It was unreal; his eyes blinked as he saw tiny strands of blond pubic hairs curl and touch his long dark eyelashes. His mind was suddenly off, no longer able to focus, lights flashed before him and he silently prayed to God, thanking him for the love that he was receiving. His heart whined loudly, screaming out into the night like a jet engine pushed beyond its maximum capacity and yet it still kept racing, still kept the fuel flowing, despite the strain.

The two bodies shook and quivered under the release. Two sets of hard young muscles uncoiled together, meeting the other in mid air. The two hard bodies crashed into each other, one on an upward lurch, and the other on a downward press. They came together as their young fresh milk flowed outwards, filling each with their love and joy.

It was over as suddenly as it began; Billy lying off to one side, his spent cock resting against Josh’s lips, Josh’s limp penis resting against his own cum covered lips. Neither had to say anything, neither had to look at the other, they just together put their one free arm on top of the other’s legs, the now drained cocks resting against their mouths, and closed their eyes, satisfied for the moment with the love that they knew was theirs, and only theirs.

Next Page »