The Locker - Chapter 5
Chapter 5
‘Only love gives us the taste of eternity’
– Jewish Proverb
Saturday
The car was moving slowly along the potholed road, Dakota keeping his focus on the road ahead, twisting and turning the large steering wheel to avoid the deeper of the potholes that seemed to be everywhere. Noah kept his eyes going between the road ahead and watching the intent expression on Dakota’s face. In a sense he felt uncertain still about Dakota, about what he really wanted or for that matter what he wanted from Dakota. At first he thought it was simply sex, but he knew inside that wasn’t really true, because as much as he felt he wanted it, he was petrified by the idea. He knew he wanted to be with Dakota that way, hell he could feel the desire each time he even just thought about the guy’s name, but a part of him deep down was still scared.
He had listened to all the nonsense, the scares about AIDS, about STD’s and the like and that definitely had him frightened, yet each time he would steal a glance at Dakota’s face, he felt like it couldn’t happen to him, that he was immune in some way, that those things happened to those who were sleazy, not to guys like him or Dakota. Course he knew he was kidding himself, and to be honest he hadn’t really thought much about the risks, all he could thing of was that thick pole and if it would hurt as much as he thought it would. Somehow he knew it would and that scared him, because he also knew he wanted to do nothing more than please Dakota, to show him that he was someone Dakota could care for.
Funny how he could think of all this and still manage to feel damn horny too. Christ he had to stop all these thoughts because it was only making his own dick hard and sitting in the bucket seats were hard enough, smelling Dakota’s scent, the car and everything else was just driving him nuts and yet, the damn voices wouldn’t leave him in peace. He had pictured this day differently; at least the start hadn’t gone like he had figured. Instead of a wild passionate kiss, all he had got was a smile and a hello, which left him hard and all but it wasn’t quite what he thought lovers did when they would meet. Then again, they really weren’t lovers or at least not yet. Maybe that was it, maybe things changed once you ‘did it’ or maybe not, he just didn’t know and that was tearing at him as the car moved quickly down the highway and then to the road they were on now.
Noah wasn’t sure what he had expected, maybe a quick trip somewhere where they would then leap on each other and grope each other but that didn’t seem to be in the cards, least not so far and part of him felt relief at that, because he just didn’t know what to do. Oh he had seen a few videos and pictures and he had heard stuff, but it wasn’t exactly the same, it left him feeling weird actually. He liked the idea, the thought of Dakota’s long arms wrapped around him, the idea of his hands reaching down his chest, touching him, feeling him and he really liked the idea of smelling Dakota’s hair as it would brush past his face, but what if he didn’t touch Dakota back the right way, what if he was what the guys called some girls, a dead fuck? What would he do then? Who could he go to or tell? He felt so alone really, so scared of screwing up that he could also feel his dick softening. Course he could correct that by simply turning to stare at Dakota’s face again, but what if it happened when they were together? What if he got soft instead of harder? What would Dakota do then? Would he laugh at him? Would Dakota push him away and look for someone else?
Christ, this is stupid, he thought as he stared at the flashing scenery, realizing they were out of town now, that the pothole road had given way to a gravel track and he saw farms on either side. For the life of him he didn’t know where he was at first, his mind too occupied with thoughts of what he might screw up that he almost missed Dakota’s question.
Noah “Huh? Sorry, what did you say?”
Dakota saw the look on Noah’s face and he felt the same dread, same fear inside that he had felt before, felt when he too wasn’t so sure of what he wanted or felt even. He could see that same look in Noah’s face and it troubled him as he wondered if maybe he was pushing too much, if maybe he had jumped the gun by going to Noah’s house that night. Trouble was that the instant he had seen Noah, something inside of him had snapped, something had somehow taken hold of his thoughts, making him think of nothing else but being with Noah, almost as if they had known each other forever, which he knew wasn’t true, still he couldn’t deny the strange eerie feelings he had ever since he first saw him walking towards the locker.
They had shared that moment together, a time when
He had searched for that feeling, had yearned for it but it always seemed to elude him until that day, that one day when he had stared at the faded writing on the locker and turned to see the figure slowly walking down the hallway. Somehow he knew it was his new locker partner, somehow he knew too that the ache, the terrible pain he still felt inside would leave the moment they met and it had, not for long, but it had left and that in itself had scared him.
Noah wasn’t what he had expected and yet as he searched his eyes he could see the hunger there, the light of someone who had a kindred spirit, which is partly why he had taken the chance, had gone to his house that night and also why he had stayed away the rest of the week. He too was just as uncertain as Noah was, just as frightened but not for the same reasons. He knew he could satisfy Noah’s sexual needs, but could he satisfy him in what
Everything was so complicated these days, the having to work all the time, the fact that at any moment someone would find out about him, about
The way Noah sat in the car, the way he would look at him when he thought he wasn’t watching, all of that only drove him, made him more determined to see if the feelings inside, of the strange dreams he was having, were real or at least possible. He hadn’t felt so alive for a long time, hadn’t felt the urge so much in the past as he had this last week, waiting for tonight. No, he knew he couldn’t have put this off, and he sighed, wondering if he really was ready for all this or was he just trying to hide again?
Noah’s voice startled him a little as he realized that he had finally answered him, and he smiled, turning to stare at the anxious face. He could see the anxiety in Noah’s eyes and wondered if he too had that same frightened look on his face?
Dakota “uh, nothing much, uh just saying we were almost there.”
Noah “Oh, okay”
Dakota “Yeah, uh sorry about the road”
Noah “Huh? Oh, it’s okay, you seem to know it pretty good”
Dakota “Yeah, comes from driving it all the time”
Noah “You didn’t say you lived on a farm”
Dakota “Don’t really, I mean it isn’t ours, we rent a house this guy has and I do some stuff around the place for him, kind of help out you know?”
Noah “Must be neat, I mean are there animals?”
Dakota “Neat? I guess it’s okay, yeah some, mostly its just farming, you know hay and that shit.”
Noah “Oh, still, kind of nice to be away from the city”
Dakota “It has its moments, uh I have to fix some fences first, you mind?”
Noah “Huh? No, can I help?”
Dakota “Huh? Uh yeah if you want, kind of boring though, you can watch TV in the house while I do this, if you want.”
Noah “I’d rather be with you, uh, that is, I mean if its okay?”
Dakota “Okay? Yeah it’s okay, uh, just uh, you don’t have to you know?”
Noah “I know, just, well, if it’s okay, I’d like to”
Dakota simply smiled as he wheeled the car into a long dirt driveway. Noah smiled back and his heart was going a mile a second as he thought about that smile, the way that Dakota’s face simply lit up when he smiled. The eyes seemed to sparkle and his whole face looked so happy, so alive that Noah managed to once more put aside the doubts that kept plaguing him and he could feel the heat between his legs, knowing that he was once more riding the roller coaster of his own emotions. The thought of watching, no, of working side by side with Dakota, of sweating together as they pounded in nails made his groin shudder from the growing ache that now throbbed through his entire lower body.
He had to be in love, what else could it be if he wanted to actually work fixing fences? Noah sat there as the car pulled up to an old weather beaten barn building, the red paint flaked and dulled by the weather and he looked around, seeing the old blue pick up truck, the wire fence surrounding smaller little shed like buildings, and then he saw the house itself. It wasn’t exactly modern but it was clean and he realized that Dakota was staring at him, almost as if he expected him to say something or do something. Noah could feel the sweat beads forming as he wondered what it was he was supposed to do or say when it struck him, when it all hit him at once that Dakota expected him to bolt, to run simply because the house and place wasn’t exactly suburb or upscale like he was used to.
Sure he had guessed that things weren’t exactly easy for Dakota and his family, after all he had said that he and his sister had to work, not wanted to but had to, and there was no doubt that his clothes were clean but definitely not new or anywhere near being new, but to see this place, and to feel like it was a test kind of made him angry at first, then sad. Slowly he turned away from the buildings to look at Dakota, unsure of what he would find and he could see the apprehension in Dakota’s eyes, the way they looked at him as if he was holding himself ready for a big let down. The way his hands clutched at the steering wheel spoke volumes to him and inside his heart he could a sort of aching feeling, one that kind of was like an urge to reach out, to hold Dakota, to just hold him.
Noah “I wish we lived on a place like this”
Dakota “Really? It isn’t much to look at…”
Noah “I don’t know, it’d be nice to come out after dinner or something, walk out and see the stars, bet you can really see them clear from out here”
Dakota “Yeah, you can, still…”
Noah “Maybe we can check em out later? It would be kind of fun, uh, I mean, well, if you like that sort of stuff.”
Dakota “Really? I mean, yeah I do… you really think this place is neat?”
Noah “Yeah”
Dakota looked hard into Noah’s face, trying to see if what he was saying was how he really felt. He had never thought about it before, but it mattered to him what Noah thought, how he felt and he sighed a little, seeing the look in those eyes, not sure if they were real or if Noah was just being polite. He didn’t mind where he lived, he would trade even this for another day with
Dakota “Uh guess we should get to it then, uh, you sure? I mean, you can wait in the house, won’t take me that long”
Noah “Take you less time if I help won’t it?”
Dakota “Yeah but…”
Noah “So?”
Dakota “You’ll get your clothes dirty, I mean its…”
Noah “I brought another pair of jeans, two actually, so its cool”
He kind of liked the idea that Noah wasn’t going to be put off, that he was insistent actually and the notion that he had brought more than one pair of pants also made him grin a little as he climbed out of the car. The thought of undressing Noah came clearly to his mind and he could still see that lump that had first attracted his eyes attention when he had climbed into the window. Maybe he was just making too much out of the place, maybe it really didn’t matter about possessions and stuff, maybe Montana was right, that when you found that special one, nothing mattered to them but you, not your clothes or your house or even how you looked to others, nothing mattered because they cared for the person. It wasn’t something he really believed in, least not that much but looking at Noah, seeing how his eyes would light up when he smiled at him, maybe it was true, maybe Montana really did know.
Dakota “Just remember I warned you”
Noah “I will”
Dakota “I think you would too, okay, uh well you can throw your stuff in the house or in the back of the pick up there, I’ll go get the boards we need and put it in back”
Noah “Okay, uh, need some help bringing the boards out?”
Dakota “Naw, only got a few to take”
Noah grabbed his pack from the backseat of the mustang and headed over towards the pale old blue pick up truck. He could see the dirt and mud caked on the sides and he knew it was definitely a work truck for the place. It had dents on the side and a big huge wooden box in the bed, one he assumed carried tools and stuff. He debated for a second on whether to keep his pack with him then as he turned to watch Dakota going into the barn, he simply tossed the pack into the back of the bed, his eyes glued to the tall figure walking away from him.
He couldn’t explain it, but it felt so perfect right now, to be leaning up against the metal side of the truck, his elbows on the rail of the truck bed, and Dakota just walking away. It was sort of like, well like this was their place and he was watching the other half. Noah could feel the strange giddiness in his head as he watched the way Dakota’s butt moved as he walked, the way the tight jeans were moulded to his body and even the thin white threads from the one back pocket only added to the picture, making his hand move down and adjust his own crotch. Christ, he thought, what a horny ass I am but then as he saw Dakota disappear into the darkness of the barn, he realized that it wasn’t that he just wanted sex, though that thought certainly seemed to be popping up a lot in his mind, but that there was more to being with Dakota than that. Maybe it was love though he really wasn’t too sure what love was, all he knew was that he didn’t want to disappoint Dakota, and he waited, counting the seconds waiting for Dakota to return.
4:58 p.m.
The truck bounced along the old dirt trail and Noah could see the plume of dust it was leaving behind too as he concentrated on just staying in the seat. The truck was certainly used to hard work and the noise of the engine made it almost impossible to talk without shouting and besides, he was enjoying just watching the way Dakota drove it. His hands were constantly moving on the steering wheel, well one mostly, the other played with the stick shift in the middle, gearing up one second, then down another as he kept the old truck moving along the trail. He never realized how much work there was in just driving before, and yet as he watched Dakota’s strong hand around the stick shift, his mind kept wondering how he would feel with that very hand wrapped around his pole?
It was weird really, to be thinking like this, but he couldn’t help himself and the way the truck bounced only added to some of his wilder thoughts. He couldn’t help but feel a grin cross his face as he wondered if this would be how it would feel to have Dakota inside of him, his body constantly being forced up into the air and the image of Dakota’s big pole made him lick his lips as he felt the strange ache in his buttocks and his groin. He had to be sick to be thinking like this but as he stole another glance at Dakota, he could see the thick bulge in Dakota’s pants and he knew that Dakota was thinking about it too. Maybe they both were sick or maybe it was just that they were teenagers heading out into a wide empty field.
They finally came up to a grove of trees and then pulled up beside them, well actually inside the grove and Noah could see the fence line running just past. He stared at the fence posts and then turned to see Dakota staring at him. He felt sort of giddy really, knowing that Dakota was looking at him with that sort of hungry look. The way Dakota’s mouth had that little curl at the ends; the way the eyes were just slightly narrowed only made him want Dakota more. He could feel the ache rising up, growing and making him feel uncomfortable because all he really wanted to do was jump out and hold him, feel him crush his body into Dakota’s.
Dakota could see that look in Noah’s eyes and he felt the blood flowing into his groin as he recognized that look, knowing it wasn’t any different really than the one he must have in his own eyes, on his own face. He shifted a little, wondering if maybe he wasn’t pushing this too fast, if maybe Noah really wasn’t all that ready for this but then he saw the look, stared into the eyes and he could feel the desire, feel it striking out at him, reaching for him and he shivered a little, from the growing excitement inside. For a brief moment he could think of nothing but wanting to reach out and grab a hold of Noah, to bring his young firm body close into his own but he held back, his sense of responsibility taking charge despite the raging urges inside. He was at least smart enough to know that if he didn’t do the fence first, he’d never get it done today.
Noah felt disappointed as he watched Dakota climb down from the truck and head towards the back of it. For a second or two he was certain that Dakota was going to reach out and touch him or at least give some sign, some signal that he wanted him closer or something. He felt a slight pain in his chest as he realized just how nervous he was and how much he really wanted Dakota to want him, to crave him like he craved for Dakota. Maybe it was different once you had sex, maybe that was it and he was just trying too hard? That could be it he thought as he slowly climbed out and walked out to where Dakota was standing, piling the few boards up against the side of the truck.
He saw Dakota staring at him and he smiled at him, not wanting to let his disappointment show. Damn this wasn’t quite how he expected the weekend to go and all he could think of was that he was only going to make a real mess of things. He didn’t really see Dakota move and then he caught the blur of motion and saw the object coming towards him. For a second he thought maybe Dakota had thrown something hard at him but as he began to duck he saw the object fluttering a little and he reached out with his hand, missing it and deflecting it as it fall to the ground next to him. He stared down at the old baseball hat and bent down to pick it up. As he stood up he saw Dakota looking at him with a quizzical look.
Noah “What’s this?”
Dakota “A hat”
Noah “Duh, but what for?”
Dakota “It’s hot out, the sun is kind of bright and if you planning to help, well, gotta wear something, don’t need you passing out”
Noah “Oh, uh thanks”
It wasn’t quite like he had thought, he was too nervous and he knew it but Noah was special, and for some reason he just couldn’t seem to make the right moves. He had seen that sort of hang dog look when Noah climbed down and then the absolute terror when he had tossed him the hat. Damn that had been stupid, he thought, as he carried the boards down towards the fence, wondering if maybe he really had rushed this whole weekend thing, but shit, he liked Noah and he really did think that they could be friends. Maybe the whole sex thing was still scaring Noah, maybe he should try to avoid that? He just wasn’t sure but he felt all twisted inside, scared really which he never felt before when with a guy he had a thing for.
For about a second or two he stared at the hat and then at Dakota’s retreating back and he felt like he wanted to just run and hide. How stupid could he be, he wondered as he took the hat in his hands, seeing that it was a well used one and he breathed in, knowing that it was Dakota’s own cap, and he could feel his heart turning over inside his chest as his eyes watered a bit. To think, he cared enough to give him his cap and like a dolt he had asked him what it was for. Could he be any more of a geek than that? He felt his legs grow heavy as Dakota continued down the grassy hill towards the fence and he made up his mind then that he would just have to try harder, that no matter what he wasn’t going to be a disappointment to Dakota. He grabbed the small bag of nails and two hammers and trotted down the hill towards Dakota, getting at the fence slightly out of breath just as Dakota leaned the boards up against a post.
Dakota turned to see Noah almost on top of him and he smiled as he saw the bag and hammers in his hands. He had forgotten them in his haste to get away, afraid that he would make an even bigger ass out of himself. Christ, he should have known better to have thrown the cap in the first place and secondly to not realize that Noah wasn’t really used to all this, and to make him seem like a fool wasn’t going to help either. He was just nervous still it was no excuse as he saw the determined look on Noah’s face and he felt a strange warmth creeping into his body as he heard Noah’s slightly laboured breathing.
Smiling, he thanked Noah for the nails and then he undid his shirt, his eyes looking over Noah as he took the shirt off, carefully putting it on the one post, and then he bent down to pick up a hammer and some nails, jamming them into his pocket as he went over to the broken fence boards.
Noah watched the shirt coming off, feeling suddenly like a peeping tom or something. He couldn’t explain it but Dakota seemed so distant really, almost as if he was trying to ignore Noah’s presence and it only made him more determined to do things better. He watched the shirt come off, the golden flesh glistening in the setting sun’s rays and he heard himself stifle back a yelp of amazement as all he could think of was how hot Dakota looked, standing there in the faded blue denim pants, his naked chest glistening a little from a trace of sweat and the sun, making Dakota look like a Greek God of pure gold. It made him almost fall forward and try to reach out to touch him, to see if indeed his body was pure gold but he fought it, contained his raging emotions just as Dakota turned and headed towards the fence.
He had to admit that Dakota seemed to know exactly what he was doing as he knocked the broken boards off and then stacked them neatly, taking the bent nails out and stuffing them into his other pants pocket. It really was something to see the way he moved his arms so effortlessly and with such confidence too. Only trouble was he kept wishing that those arms were around him and not the hammer.
They didn’t speak much except for when Dakota told him where to hold the new boards and when he asked if that was right or something simple. They worked like that for almost an entire hour before the last nailed was pounded in and the fence was no longer broken. Dakota stepped back and surveyed the work, making sure that he had nailed it all up properly and that everything was in line. Noah saw the sweat glistening from his arms and torso, the flesh looking golden in the sun’s rays. He looked so handsome it was unbelievable and he felt a sense of awe actually because he was here, alone with him with no one else to stare, no one else to share in the beauty he was privileged to gaze upon.
Dakota started to pick up the boards near his side and Noah quickly gathered up the one’s he was closest to and together they headed back up the grassy knoll towards the truck parked under the big trees. He could hear the heavy breathing coming from Dakota and from himself as they carried the broken pieces up, his legs feeling a bit heavy as the heat and exertion had taken its toll on them. Noah was slightly in awe too because as much as he was kind of tired from it all he realized that Dakota had to be even more exhausted. After all he had put in a full day’s work at the grocery store while Noah had run around trying to make sure he had everything for his overnight stay. To think that Dakota would still want to entertain him never mind the other stuff was something he had never thought about until now. It made Dakota seem even more attractive and desirable to him as they reached the truck and dumped their load of broken wood into the back.
His only trouble really was that he had no idea of how to tell Dakota that, how to express to him how special he felt that Dakota would even bother, never mind actually care enough to have him here. It was strange really, maybe it was his shyness or something else but he couldn’t help but wonder why someone like Dakota was the way he was, why he was special and yet it seemed like he didn’t know that, didn’t understand the real effect he had on guys like Noah. Noah kept his eyes down, or at least he tried to but every few seconds he just had to steal a glance at Dakota, to even pinch himself to make sure this just wasn’t some dream he was having.
With the last board in the truck he felt like the magic was about to end, a sort of sadness crept inside as he stole what he thought would be one last glance at Dakota’s naked chest when he saw that Dakota was staring at him. He gulped the saliva in his mouth, wondering if he had done something wrong. His hands were at his side but the lump in his throat felt real, almost choking him as he stared in the dark eyes, wishing he could find the words to tell Dakota how much he liked him, how much he wanted him.
There was no mistaking the look he saw in Noah’s face, the way he licked his lips as he stared at him and he knew that he too was staring, that he too had that same desire burning deep inside and before he knew it, he was over beside Noah, standing next to him, staring into his face as he clenched his hands into fists, the fear rising up inside of him, making him shake a little with trepidation.
Dakota “I am sorry…”
Noah “Sorry? What for, you haven’t done anything”
Dakota “Not much of a host, I mean invite you over and make you work…”
Noah “I enjoyed it, honest”
Dakota “Really?”
Noah “Yeah, I mean, shit, Dakota I don’t care what it is, what I do as long as I can be near you, I know it sounds goofy and all…”
Dakota “You mean that? About just wanting to be near me?”
Noah “Yes, I do, I can’t explain it but…”
Dakota “I feel the same way about you, guess I just am, well, you make me nervous”
Noah “I make you nervous? Christ, I am shaking so hard inside right now”
Dakota “Why? I mean, you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, don’t you?”
Noah “I know, it is just, shit, I want to be with you, I just don’t know if I can be what you would want me to, shit, I don’t know dick”
Dakota “Haha, well I can introduce you to one I know well, uh, that is if you want…”
Noah “God yes, I haven’t thought about anything else, I just… I mean I don’t know if I could be good enough for you, I mean, well…”
Dakota put his finger up to Noah’s lips, stopping him from speaking and just looked deeply into his face. He smiled a slow sort of grin that made his face shine even more, his cheeks becoming slightly flushed as he gazed into Noah’s face. He could feel the deep probing look and a strange warmth seemed to pass between them both as they stood there, silently breathing, waiting for something.
He saw the fear crossing Noah’s face and he realized that as nervous as he was, Noah was just as frightened, just as scared. Dakota reached out with his hand, seeing it shake and tremble a little as he brought it up to Noah’s face, letting the back of it run down the warm flesh cheek, feeling the jaw tighten and then quiver to his gentle touch. He felt the warmth now, caressing his own soul as he let his hand run down and under Noah’s chin, his fingers gently resting on the v where Noah’s shirt was opened.
Dakota “I think that you are exactly who I have been dreaming about”
Noah heard the words being softly spoken and his eyes moistened as they penetrated deep into his heart. For a moment or two he thought he could hear the sudden roar of his beating heart but it was an illusion as he just stood there, his body shaking a little as he felt Dakota’s touch on his neck, then he felt the tug on his shirt, as Dakota’s fingers undid each of his buttons, opening his shirt. The gentle breeze that blew around them blow across his bare chest, cooling it as he felt the fires inside of his soul flickering and rising.
Noah “Oh God that is all I want to be Dakota, all I have thought about all week, to be yours, only yours”
The words filled his heart and Dakota felt the fires, felt the flames flickering once more deep in his soul where they had lain dormant for so long and in that moment he knew that Noah was indeed who Montana had been telling him about. That Noah was that one, that special person who would reach him like no other living person could and as much as Dakota had doubted it, he knew now that his brother had told him the truth.
With his own body trembling in anticipation, Dakota bent forward and closing his eyes, he leaned inwards and let his lips briefly brush up against Noah’s pale lips, tasting the saltiness and the sweetness all at once. His heart thundered in his ears as he felt Noah’s body shake and then tighten as his arms wrapped around the boy’s body, holding him and feeling him at the same time.
Every nerve in his body was screaming with pure sweet agony, as he held onto Noah tightly, squeezing him closer as their two bodies wrapped into each other. He could feel his own groin ache but he also felt the force of Noah’s own desires pressing hard into his thigh. He could feel his heart beating as he let his mouth once more brush up against the pale thin lips of Noah, once more he tasted the warmth as his tongue pressed forward, splitting apart the opening mouth and in that single instant of time, he knew that Noah was the one, the one who would make him whole again.
Tears began to roll down his face as he kissed Noah deeply, feeling the complete surrender of Noah’s mouth to his, feeling the total collapse of resistance as he held Noah from falling to the ground and his tongue dove deep into the willing throat. He could taste it all in a sudden rush of flavours, as his tongue licked and probed deep into the open mouth, he drank heavily of the virgin juices within, feeling the strength of Noah’s desire for him slowly reaching out. His body grew hard as he eagerly sucked in the very breath coming from Noah’s own lungs, feeling his life flow into his own body as his arms grew numb from the strain.
Time seemed to have stopped as they held each other, as their mouths joined in an embrace that blocked all else from their thoughts. Dakota had no idea how long he kissed Noah, all he knew was that he felt so alive, so excited that time no longer was a care, that life even was no longer a chore to him, because he knew that his soul had finally found what it had yearned for, had desired.
They finally broke apart, both of them heaving from the sudden force of their embrace and yet still Dakota kept his arms loosely around Noah’s waist, holding him close as they drank in the sweet evening air. Both of them stared into each other’s eyes, the glistening wetness of their tears only making their eyes sparkle even brighter, become even more desirable.
The hot breath of the setting sun shone on them both, their flesh glistening as it basked in the rays and Dakota could feel the passion inside, feel it rising upwards as he reached into the truck bed, grabbing Noah’s backpack and handing it to him, knowing that inside was all they would need for now. His eyes looked deep into Noah’s, and with his hand in Noah’s own hand they slowly walked to the front of the truck, where Dakota pulled an old faded blanket out from behind the front seat and then together, they slowly walked further into the small grove of trees. The sun shined between the branches, shadows of gold played among the deep rich green of the leaves and the dark brown of the branches as the two young men walked hand in hand towards a huge redwood tree.
The tree towered above all the other trees in the grove, and it had been given a special spot among them all, nothing but rich green grass grew around the base of the huge tree and the sun managed to find holes among its green canopy to shine down upon the green carpet that lay before them. Dakota placed the blanket down next to the huge trunk of the tree and then he turned to stare once more into Noah’s face, to once more gaze into the two shining stars that were Noah’s eyes. He could feel the desire reaching for him, the passion that Noah held for him was like a thick branch reaching out towards him as he undid the button on his pants, shaking his boots off at the same time, hearing Noah’s own shoes falling free from Noah’s feet.
They stood there, Dakota with his pants just barely open and he reached out, his fingers touching briefly Noah’s stomach, feeling the muscles under the hot flesh coiling and trembling even as his hand moved down to the pants, grabbing hold of the waist band and then moving along the thick denim towards the front, where they reached for and undid the button first then slowly unzipped the fly, exposing Noah’s shaking body.
His eyes travelled back up the skinny body, seeing the sweat gleaming, the hard pink nipples rigid in the fresh air, and as he moved his gaze upwards, he could see the chest heaving slightly in a sort of strange anticipation. His eyes focused on the thin lips that now trembled uncontrollably as he stared into the face, seeing everything that there was that made Noah, Noah. He could feel the heart beat, feel the pulse as it raced, feel the deep and rich cries of joy coming from within Noah’s soul and he smiled, stepping closer to let his own body reach out.
Dakota took his time as he kissed Noah’s lips briefly, then his chin and then the hollow of Noah’s neck. He tasted the salt from Noah’s sweat, enjoying its flavour as his mouth echoed a sigh of utter contentment. He still was feeling like he was in a dream, as he kissed the soft warm flesh of Noah’s chest, kissing the hard firm nipples on either side and then down the centre, kissing the flesh softly as he slowly lowered his own body down to rest on one knee. His face was now level with Noah’s shaking stomach as his hands held onto the denim waistband of Noah’s pants. His eyes grew wider as he stared at the white gleaming skin, seeing its beauty shine as his hands carefully and very slowly lowered the dark blue denim pants, the plaid boxer shorts now showing, hiding nothing really as Noah’s body was fully aroused.
A soft wisp of a new fragrance blew across his nostrils and Dakota breathed it in deeply, knowing it was the sweet smell of Noah, and his hands let the pants down to rest bundled on the grass. He raised his head for a moment to see Noah’s face peering down at him and he smiled up at him, enjoying the sheer pleasure of Noah’s eyes widening, of seeing the eager anticipation only grew stronger inside of Noah’s soul. It all was so perfect, so amazing that he felt like he could conquer the world if asked to, but instead he turned his face back towards the trembling body before him. He felt Noah’s hands resting on his shoulders now and he sighed again, feeling the love beginning to slowly press in on him, to feel Noah’s passion slowly seep into his body from everywhere around him.
His head moved forward, his lips pursed as he came closer, and he felt the flesh touch his lips as he kissed Noah’s belly, the soft warm flesh tingling to his touch as his eyes watched in utter fascination the way the muscles shook under the skin. He kissed the soft hot flesh again as his hands slowly pulled down on the thin fabric of the boxer shorts and he breathed in deeply as Noah’s man scent came rushing up to greet him. The more he exposed of Noah’s body to the gentle breeze the more he ached inside, and he let his hands move a bit faster now as he let his tongue lick at the small tuft of pubic hairs and then he stared downwards.
The thin pole was staring at his body, sticking out straight as an arrow and he could see the small glowing drop of white that grew larger with each tick of the second hand of time, the hard deep purple of the head growing darker as well and Dakota just stared at it. He couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked to him, how it mesmerized him as he stared at it, seeing the first drop of Noah’s pre cum dripping down, slowly moving from his line of vision as it curled under the cock head and rolled down a bit of the 6 inch long shaft before finally giving way to the power of gravity and fell to the grass. His eyes followed the drop down to the very blade of grass it fell on, seeing the blade bend to the heaviness of the drop and his heart gave a sudden kick, a sudden thrust and Dakota felt himself move back a little, his body rising upwards now to stand fully erect in front of Noah.
He had felt desire before but never anything like this, nothing he had ever felt before equalled the fury that was slowly being unleashed before his very eyes. Dakota swayed a little as he stood up, the blood rushing to fill his brain for the moment, and yet he knew that it wouldn’t last, that soon his whole body would be concentrated on one thing and one thing only. He felt the muscles coiling up inside, his own rectum becoming sore and tight as his muscles clenched and unclenched under his burning flesh.
Dakota was 2 inches taller than Noah and yet to Noah it was like he was a giant. He stared up into Dakota’s face as he stood up, feeling the warm evening breeze blowing across his naked body. His hands rested lightly on Dakota’s waist, and his fingers trembled from the heat and excitement he felt from just being here, from just touching and staring at Dakota.
Standing there he felt his legs lift up and shake off the remnants of his outer clothes, only his socks remaining as he stood there among the trees and the setting sun, feeling the desire welling up deep inside of his body as Dakota looked at him. He could feel the passion growing too, feel the warmth that seemed to be growing even hotter as they stood there looking at each other, taking everything in as if to memorize every single little detail. Noah felt his body shake as Dakota’s hands no longer touched his body and he saw the smile growing across Dakota’s face as panic started to set in but was quickly tossed aside by the thundering roar of his heart.
He licked his lips for the umpteenth time as he saw the slow motion of Dakota’s arms, feeling the soft gentle breeze as he lowered his eyes to follow the motion. His powder blue eyes grew wider as he saw Dakota’s long thin fingers reach for the waistband of his own pants. He stared intently as he saw the pants being pushed down the well developed thighs, the thin pair of jockey shorts catching a passing ray of sunshine to glitter and sparkle. His heart seemed still as he saw the faded denim crumble at Dakota’s feet and then he watched as the thin nylon shorts joined the denim pants and his eyes bulged as he saw the long thick pole that now filled his vision.
He could see the thick veins stretched taut by the rushing blood within and as his eyes devoured every inch of the 7-½ inch long pole, he felt his own body begin to tremble in excitement. His hands were sweaty and yet as he stared at Dakota’s golden flesh, he saw his hand reaching out, the small hand trembling and shaking as it moved towards Dakota’s body and he almost feinted as he felt his fingers brush up against the hot flesh of Dakota’s stomach.
Noah couldn’t stop from staring at the huge cock that stood out from Dakota’s body, nor could he deny the terrible ache that began to throb within his own body as his desire to have that in him grew more strident, more determined. His hand moved down the thin treasure trail lightly, just the tip of his fingers touching the soft fine hairs until they came to the base of the throbbing pole that he stared at. He could see the large glowing orb of pre cum that rested among the centre of the huge purple reddish cock head and his heart skipped a beat or two or even three perhaps as he hesitated for a brief second, and then he quelled the fear inside and let his finger move along the hard solid skin of the shaft.
Dakota felt his lungs sucking in the air as he stood there, tense and amazed at how much he felt, at how strong the desire was inside of him to let Noah touch him this way. He could feel the urges growing and he struggled to keep control, to deny his body its strident plea for release as he felt the soft gentle touch of Noah’s finger along his throbbing cock. It ached and throbbed harder with each passing touch, and he could feel himself losing his control over his body as finally Noah’s finger reached the cock head. It rested around the cap for a second or two, a second or two of pure sweet delicious agony for Dakota, and then it moved away as Noah’s head came up and stared deeply into Dakota’s tortured face.
He had felt the love or at least he had felt something deep and moving that had invaded every fibre of his body when his finger had rested on the hot throbbing cock and it scared him in one sense and amazed him in another and yet there was even a strange third feeling, one of wild abandon and lust that seemed to cry out to him, to urge him to reach out and push Dakota to his back and ride that hot menacing looking pole but his fear was still too great. His face looked up as he saw the desire written all over Dakota’s face and he prayed silently for the courage to let Dakota love him.
His backpack was resting against the huge tree trunk and Noah sat down on the blanket, reaching instantly inside to pull out the first box he could get his fingers on. He tore open the cardboard and took out a slim plastic package and then he looked up at Dakota. His eyes spoke his desire as he held the thin condom upwards, stretching his hand up as he moved his body down on the blanket, stretching his body outwards, his hand raised up with the condom in his fingers grasp.
Dakota stared with is mouth open at Noah as he stretched out on the blanket, his naked body gleaming in the golden rays of the sun and his hard penis sticking upwards. The hand stretched up towards him and in it he saw the condom package and he looked back at the naked body, seeing the desire reaching for him from every pore in Noah’s naked body. He felt the excitement take hold of him as he stepped forward, bending down to take the offered condom and his eyes locked with those of Noah’s.
He almost fell backwards from the sudden rush of passion that reached for him and hit him squarely in the heart. He could hear his body groan as the tip of his finger touched Noah’s with the condom between them. There was no denying the desire they both felt and yet something held him back, something made him stare longer into Noah’s powder blue eyes as he held the condom in his fingers.
Dakota “Noah…”
Noah “Please”
Dakota “Are you…”
Noah “Please Dakota, please…”
The pleading voice was almost too much for him as he bent down onto his knees, kneeling next to Noah’s prone body as he stared over at the silently pleading eyes that bore heavily into his soul. He knew that Noah was frightened and yet his desire seemed so real, so urgent that he tore open the package and turning slightly so Noah could watch, he placed the thin plastic over the tip of his cockhead. The heavy gob of pre cum smeared across the 2-¼ inch thick head under the plastic as he slowly unrolled the thin plastic sheath over his throbbing cockhead. The excitement was growing inside of him and he could feel his whole body shuddering as he carefully and very slowly unravelled the thin condom down his 7 ½ inch long shaft. He saw the way Noah’s eyes followed his hand, missing nothing and he could feel the urgent desire growing too as he finally felt his fingers press hard into the pubic area of his groin, the condom fully unrolled and covering his thick throbbing pole.
He looked up and over at Noah, seeing the lust beginning to coat Noah’s blue eyes or maybe it was his own lust coating his dark brown eyes, but the moment was etched forever in his memory as he moved over to kneel between the two poles that were Noah’s legs. He stared down at the willing body in front and he glanced upwards once more, seeing the eyes glimmer with desire, seeing the passion reaching for him as his hands moved down to gently push as the inner thighs of Noah’s legs. The touch of his fingers against the hot body was making him sweat now as he slowly moved and positioned Noah’s legs, taking his time even though his whole body was screaming for him to enter the waiting flesh beneath.
With a calm deliberate motion he pushed Noah’s legs aside and lifted them up under the knee cap, feeling the ease in which he could move them, knowing that Noah was totally his now, that Noah had completely surrendered to him his very body as he moved inwards, pressing the hard thick cock up against the dangling small balls that rested just above his goal. Dakota heard Noah moan at the instant his cock touched Noah’s full testicles, he could feel the tremor that raced thru Noah’s body in his hands that held the legs up and he looked up.
Dakota moved the legs up higher onto his shoulders as he moved one hand down to reach for his own throbbing pole, to guide it the final few inches towards what they both seemed intent on having, on feeling. His body grew hard with the strain as he felt his penis sliding slowly down the hot
He heard the long aching groan come from Noah’s lips as he continued to rotate his hard throbbing cock around the tiny pink hole, firmly pressing inwards more and more as his eyes began to glaze over. The heat of his desire, his need was making him sweat heavily as he could feel the drops dripping down from his forehead, splattering onto Noah’s shaking belly as his cock head became fully wedged into the tiny hole, the stretched muscle holding it firmly in place, deny it entry as he moved his hand away, his whole body now fully tensed and all of his muscles coiled. Dakota lifted his head up to look deeply into Noah’s face as he began to press forward now, to force his way beyond the gate guard to Noah’s very insides.
His eyes narrowed as his hips moved slowly forward, the huge throbbing penis gradually forcing aside the tight muscles, the very tip finally entering the hot warm tunnel of Noah’s rectum. His mind grew fogged as his eyes glazed over by the new sensations as his entry continued. The shouts not registering as his hips shoved forward more, the ache in his groin growing as the sweat turned into a raging river, the loud sounds of each drop becoming one single thunder clap as his body continued to press inwards, slowly forcing the huge pole inwards, widening Noah’s tight pink hole. Dakota’s thick bulging head continued to press inwards, most of the thick fiery flesh was inside, stretching the opening tunnel of Noah’s body when the harsh cries finally registered and Dakota looked up towards Noah, seeing the eyes shut tight, the hands clenched striking the hard ground in a growing blur. He saw Noah’s mouth open, the sounds coming out starting to finally echo within Dakota’s ears.
Noah “CHRIST IT HURTS, SHIT, STOP, OH GOD PLEASE, IT HURTS TOO MUCH, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP OH CHRIST, IT HURTS TOO MUCH, PLEASE”
Dakota’s body grew rigid with fear as the words penetrated his mind, his body stopped in mid push and he felt a strange icy cold grip creep over his heart as he stared up at Noah’s torture riddled face. His body trembled as he pulled back, bringing his thick throbbing pole away from the sore and tender entry and he heard Noah’s cries, the tears rolling from his eyes and he felt ashamed, saddened even that he hadn’t stopped sooner. He felt devastated as he leaned back and saw Noah’s eyes slowly opening, the tears clouding the powder blue orbs. His face should the heavy streaks that the tears had left, a trail of pain that he, Dakota, had caused and he felt his whole body shudder in utter grief.
Dakota “Noah, I am…”
Noah “Oh God, Dakota…”
Before Dakota could say anything Noah had jumped up, his naked body shaking as he stared for a second at Dakota’s face and then he started to run, or at least he tried to but Dakota could see the panic taking hold and he reached out with one desperate grasp of his hand, grabbing hold of Noah’s thin ankle, holding it in his grip as he stretched out fully on the ground, refusing to let Noah escape his clutches. His whole body ached as it was dragged a few inches before Noah stopped and turned to stare down at Dakota.
His eyes looked like a deer’s eyes when caught in the headlights of oncoming traffic, the fear had taken hold and Dakota could see Noah’s body shake as he held him, kept him from bolting even though that moment had passed. He could see it in the eyes, the way Noah was simply paralysed by the fear inside and it was all his fault, and he felt so angry with himself that he refused to let go of Noah’s leg, holding it tightly as he tried to summon the strength to explain, to apologize.
He couldn’t move, his whole body suddenly felt like it was sinking in a huge bog of quicksand as he stood there, the gentle warm breeze blowing across his naked body doing nothing to aleve the deep sense of shame he felt inside or the deep fear he was feeling. Every part of him felt like it simply wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from Dakota gaze, and yet he couldn’t even stop himself from staring into that warm wonderful face, that face that had captivated him earlier or the look that had melted his heart. He was hooked and he knew that all of his plans, all of his dreams to make this a special weekend for Dakota had suddenly been blown apart by his weakness, by his lack of strength to suffer the pain of entry.
Noah’s body shook as he felt the tears rolling faster down his face and he heard himself sobbing as he shook, standing there naked with Dakota’s hand firmly wrapped around his ankle. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to as the grip was too powerful for his thin body. He didn’t have the muscles nor the will to struggle as he stood there, crying and feeling utterly lost. Everything he had wanted was there, everything he had ever dreamed about was about to begin happening and he had blown it, he had ruined it by being a coward, by begging for Dakota to stop when he should have bit his lip and taken it, ignored somehow the excruciating pain that had lanced upwards into his whole body as his rectum was slowly being ripped open by Dakota’s huge pole.
The harsh pain that he had been feeling was still there, a bit dulled as his body adjusted but it still felt it even though Dakota had pulled out, had stopped and it made him feel even more ashamed, knowing how much Dakota wanted him and how much he had disappointed him. There was no hiding from the guilt he felt as he stood there, waiting for Dakota to say what he knew was coming, to tell him that it was all a mistake and that it was all over. Everything was gone in that brief moment when he thought he couldn’t take another second of the screaming pain that had filled his young virgin body and had screamed for Dakota to stop. It was all over and the emptiness began to eat away at him as he stared at the grass, seeing the deep green blades shimmer and blur from the tears that filled his eyes. Noah couldn’t take it anymore, his body was too riddled by guilt as he slowly lowered himself to sit on the cool grass, his head now buried deep into his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably.
As Noah slowly settled onto the grass, Dakota felt the fear rising up inside of him as with each sob that came from Noah’s lips, he felt a piece of his heart rip and shred itself. This was his doing, his fault and he didn’t know how to make it up to the boy sitting there, crying into his arms. His body ached from the guilt he felt as he pulled himself upright a bit, sitting cross legged now across from Noah’s sobbing frame and he felt lost, helpless even as he tried to think of something he could say or do that would ease Noah’s pain. This was his fault, he shouldn’t have rushed into this, but Noah had seemed like he was ready, had seemed like it was what he had desired but he should have known that Noah was only doing it because he thought it was what he, Dakota, had wanted.
Dakota “Please don’t cry Noah, please, I am sorry”
Noah “your sorry?”
Dakota “I am, honest, I didn’t mean to hurt you, please don’t cry, I am so so sorry, please”
Noah didn’t understand for a moment or two what Dakota was saying, the pain of his own stupidity still filling him with nothing but regrets too strong to let the words penetrate, but the warm glow on his knee began to over power the feelings that were holding him captive. His head came up to see Dakota’s hand resting lightly on the top of his knee and he quickly raised his head to gaze up into Dakota’s face.
Noah “You didn’t do anything, it is me, I…”
Dakota “I shouldn’t have pushed you to do it, I am sorry Noah, please, don’t hate me”
Noah “You didn’t push me, I wanted to, really I did”
Dakota “You did? But, I mean I hurt you, you are crying, I didn’t want to make you cry, honest”
Noah “I know, it isn’t your fault, it’s mine, it was just, I mean, I never thought it would feel like that, I panicked I guess.”
Dakota “You mean that? I mean, why didn’t you say something sooner? I didn’t need to do it, there are lots of other things we could have done, I should have, shit you told me you never had done it and I should have prepared you better, it isn’t your fault, it’s mine for being too damn…”
Noah “That’s not true Dakota, honest, I should have said something I guess, just that, well, I didn’t want to ruin things, guess I blew that though huh?”
He could see the way Noah was looking at him, see the hope that filled his eyes as he waited for Dakota to say something, to maybe do something even and as he stared at Noah he realized that Noah did want him, in every way but that he just wasn’t sure how to go about it. It struck him as he remembered his first time, the way Montana took so much time in working him first, in preparing him and he felt the guilt inside grow because it was what he too should have done, instead he let himself get caught up in the moment, get wrapped up in what he wanted instead of thinking of what Noah needed. The pain inside only hurt more now as he realized that as much as Noah said it wasn’t his fault, he knew better.
There was nothing he could do about what had happened, but he could do things differently next time and as he looked up, stared back at Noah’s face he knew that they would have a next time because in Noah’s face he saw the truth, saw the deep love that Noah had for him and he shivered a little, recognizing that look as one that he had only seen once before, the time he had stared up into Montana’s face that first and only time that they had joined together and become almost one. It was the same look of devotion and he moved over to sit by Noah’s side and he reached out with his hand now, taking Noah’s trembling sweaty hand into his and holding it gently in his lap.
Dakota “Well, guess we’ll have something juicy to tell the grandkids about huh?”
He wasn’t sure he heard Dakota right but as he glanced over and upward into Dakota’s face he saw the truth. There was a strange dark glow deep within Dakota’s brown eyes, a sort of glimmer of light that made his eyes seem almost like melted chocolate and the small little grin around his lips made Noah’s heart skip a beat or two.
Noah “Grandkids?”
Dakota “Why not? Some things may change, but I know that how I feel for you, right now, this very minute, that will never change Noah, it will be this way for as long as you want to be a part of my life, hell I’ll always feel this way about you, no matter what ever happens.”
Noah “Even if, I mean, what if I never can, uh, what if…”
Dakota could feel the nervousness and he noticed the quick glance that Noah took of his softening groin and in his heart he knew that one day, maybe sooner than they both realized, they would pick up where they left off only a short time ago. Even if they didn’t, he knew in his heart that Noah meant much more to him than a lay, than a mere sex partner.
Dakota “What if you are never comfortable in taking me inside of you?”
Noah “Yeah”
Dakota “We’ll find other ways to express how we feel, okay?”
Noah “I guess, if you say so”
Dakota “I do… but there is one thing Noah”
Noah “What’s that?”
Dakota “Don’t ever run away from me, please, I couldn’t live for a second if you left me, so promise me, no matter what, you won’t run away from me? Please, promise me that, okay?”
Noah looked deeply into Dakota’s face and he saw that it was the truth, that Dakota really meant it and as he heard the words reverberate inside his head, he felt the strength of Dakota as he clasped his hand tighter, holding it firmly in his own and he looked down, seeing the softened flesh of Dakota’s penis, knowing that he would know how it felt inside of him, no longer feeling the fear of the pain that it had brought him and would bring him next time, because Dakota did care, did want him for him, not just for some tryst in the woods or cheap affair, but wanted him in a special way, the way he so fervently wanted Dakota.
“I promise”
