Chapter 8

Part 1

Noah took the thin package from Dakota’s sweating hand and he leaned back onto the hard legs that rested under him. He could feel the warm flesh as his naked buttocks rested carefully onto Dakota’s strong legs. He could feel the heat from his own body growing hotter with each passing beat of his heart; feel the desire welling up even more inside as he fumbled with the thin plastic package in his hand.

His eyes shimmered as he stared down at Dakota’s long lean body, the shimmering golden flesh of Dakota’s chest only made his heart ache more, made the throb deep down in his rectum grow stronger as he finally opened the thin package and held the thin coated condom in his shaking fingers. Noah wanted it to be right as he tried to keep his thoughts focused but he couldn’t help himself, stealing glances at Dakota’s face and body.

Looking down as he moved his hand to his side he saw the shimmering golden flesh of Dakota’s chest move up and then down as Dakota’s lungs continued to suck in the rich warm night air. He saw the way the tiny beads of sweat continued to glimmer and shake with each heave of that perfect chest and he wasn’t sure if the illusion was from the sweat that still trickled down from his forehead or if it was from the tiny perfectly clear tears that welled up at the corners of his eyes as he thought about the moment passed and the moment to come. His whole body tingled with excitement as he continued to gaze downwards, continued to drink in the perfectly formed body that now rested beneath his own youthful frame.

Nothing seemed to exist, no other sounds but the steady thumb of his own heart echoed within his head and yet even that seemed muted by the moment. He could see the thin outline of ribs pushing up against the flesh, see the flat washboard stomach with rippling muscles holding tight rein within and he could feel the heat now, the hot burning heat that was rising up from just in front of his own belly and groin.

Dakota’s shoulder length hair was matted and spread all over behind his head against the dark wooden floor and yet to Noah it looked like a crown of dark gold. His heart skipped a beat as he stole a quick glance upwards and peered into the rich deep chocolate eyes, feeling the sudden beat of Dakota’s heart next to his and in that moment his fears, his hesitations were gone and as he lowered his head, he stared down at Dakota’s throbbing manhood.

What had held him paralysed all week including earlier no longer looked so menacing, instead it appeared before him as a way to become a part of the boy he loved, a way for him to join once more with that beating heart that nestled next to his own. He could see his trembling fingers moving from his side now and he shimmied his body down a bit more, his hot flesh sticking but gradually moving down Dakota’s perfectly still body.

His other hand came up from the other side; his fingers extended as he ran the tips of two fingers slowly down the rippling belly following the small tufts of hair towards that giant throbbing organ that stood perfectly straight. It towered above the golden flesh and Noah could see the matted dark hair that encased the base of the huge throbbing pole. His fingers moved down the flesh, feeling Dakota’s body shudder to his touch and his own heart beginning to race faster with the excitement, with the thrill of Dakota’s response. It was all amazing to him, more spectacular than any dream he had ever had and yet as the warm wind blew across his own nakedness, he could feel the fires within growing, the flames flickering once more at his own flesh and turning it into a steaming mass of molten skin.

Noah could feel Dakota’s eyes boring in on his head, feel him as he slowly reached the 2-¼ inch thick base of Dakota’s penis. He felt the legs shake under his body, his own knees responding by digging into the hot sticky flesh harder as he held on, knowing that soon he would feel more than a soft heave or buck. The touch of his fingertip against the base made his own heart tremble and he could hear himself sucking in the warm night air as he let the finger rest against the hot sizzling pole. His eyes continued to shimmer as more sweat dripped down from his forehead but still he could see the huge penis, the deep thick vein that jutted out from underneath it pulsing as his finger slowly moved up the opposite side. His eyes widened as he saw the vein thicken as more blood was pumped into it and all he could think of was how it would feel nestled deep inside of him, how it would make his own velvet muscles tingle to its touch.

His eyes moved up the long shimmering pole, the deep mottled purplish flesh stretched so tight that it made each vein, each artery jut out clearly and yet as he stared at it, all he could think of was how it would feel to squeeze it with his own never before touched insides. To hold it within his very own body was a thought that no longer frightened him but which he urgently wanted to feel, to experience and yet he held back, deliberately forcing his mind to stare at the thick throbbing pole, to take ever inch of that beautiful organ and etch it forever into his memory. He wanted to see it even when it was buried within him and so he took his time, letting his mind photograph each inch, each artery, each pulsing vein until finally his eyes were glued to the very tip of that mountain.

He licked his lips as he saw the slow ooze of pre cum that came from the widened slit at the top of the bulbous head. The deep rich purple colour of the cock head only heightened by the soft milky white of the liquid that slowly came out, gently flowing around the rounded top and then ever so slowly moved down the sloped head towards the vein studded shaft that was as rigid as a granite slab. Each slow crawl of that liquid only made the ache inside of his rectum grow and deep within his body he felt the fires being stoked, felt the enormous rush of heat that came to his body and even as he stared at the thick head, the long thick pole, he felt the hot fire of his own pre cum once more dripping from his own spent cock. His lungs sucked in the rich warm night air, filling every space of his lungs and then more as he reached out with his hand and held the throbbing pole between his fingers, slowly wrapping each finger around the thick base.

With the huge cock held within his grasp, he could feel Dakota’s body growing harder by the second. His eyes no longer were clear as more sweat dripped down and joined the tears of anticipation that still sprung from them. His other hand now moved upwards and he saw the blurred shape of the round disk, saw it gently come up and then down onto the still oozing cream. He felt the sticky touch of the pre cum as he rested the round condom on top, slowly letting it conform to the oval shape of the purple coloured cock head. His hand shook to the electric shock that came from the hard throbbing pole and yet he held on, keeping it straight as his own heart began to race faster, the blood beginning to once more rush in a fury of desire deep within his own veins.

Noah’s body shuddered as the force of Dakota’s desire and need came to him and mingled with his own aching desire and the thin plastic sheath was suddenly unrolled and his fingers were pushing past his hand, pushing the thin coating down deep into the hot moist matted pubic hairs that surrounded Dakota’s trembling cock. He felt the rumble coming, felt the passion as his own body responded in kind. He could feel his own penis dripping and yet he could also feel the warmth of his rectum too, the feel of sweat that had trickled down his spine to flow thru his two cheeks, to run down his valley where soon Dakota’s pulsing pole of passion would soon be nestled.

His hand stayed around the throbbing pole for a mere second or two as his head lifted up and he stared back up along Dakota’s trembling body. He could see the muscles inside the belly sucking in the golden flesh, see Dakota’s ribs sticking up even more as Dakota’s lungs eagerly sucked in the air. He could feel his own passion rising as he looked down to see the thin dry lips and then the flaring nostrils until finally his eyes rested on Dakota’s own eyes. They shone like a beacon in the dark of night and there was no star in the sky that could equal the brilliance of that shine either as Noah slowly moved his body upwards, slowly moved up beyond the hot throbbing organ that waited to impale itself deep into his body.

Now his knees rested against Dakota’s side, the knees digging into the hard flesh and he could feel the muscles rippling underneath, feel their coiled strength as he leaned forward so that his head now peered up and over Dakota’s face. He stared down at him, seeing nothing but love which only quickened the beat of his heart. His eyes looked fully into Dakota’s and he felt a warmth unlike any he had ever felt before. He could hear his eyes asking him, making sure it was what he desired and he could hear the answer as his hand reached down and found the thick throbbing pole. He sat upright, the pulsing pole in one hand, the other resting to one side of Dakota’s body as he lifted upwards, his buttocks now high up in the air over Dakota’s groin and his eyes grew blank for a moment, a strange thought of how it must be to be in love and then suddenly he felt the pain reaching for him, the hard stinging pain as his body lowered down, the thick throbbing pole wedged hard into the valley of his buttocks.

His mouth flew open to allow the excruciating pain to have a voice but even before he could scream, even before the hard ripping pain could find a home in his body he felt the love rising up inside and instead of a cry of pain, instead of a shriek of agony he heard his voice crying out for more, felt his body shudder and shake as it no longer hesitated but instead flung itself further down onto the hard thick pole that now spread him apart like steel thru butter. His whole body rocked to the sudden impaling of Dakota’s thick pole into his own virgin rectum.

As the pain of entry threatened to overwhelm him he saw Dakota’s face. Noah’s head had flung itself backwards, his face stretched taut by the waves of immense pain that came rushing inside of him and yet he could see that face now, see the eyes as they stared at him, see the smile that would sometimes curl across Dakota’s mouth when he was happy. Images of him driving with his hair blowing in the wind as he turned a corner or how he leaned against a wall while waiting all came to him as the thick throbbing pole filled his insides, stretched his velvet lining beyond capacity and made his muscles squeal in terror as they were pushed aside and made to move aside from the thick pulsing shaft that now dominated his insides.

Just as he could suddenly see Dakota’s face it was gone and this time as he felt the wave of pain coming to him he could see that hard thick cock glimmering in front of his eyes. He saw the thickened veins and the way they pulsed as blood rushing thru the insides and as he saw that he felt it now, felt that thickened veins of Dakota’s penis pushing into his insides, felt the warm pulse of blood as it pushed thru the veins towards that trembling orb that seemed to be growing thicker and hotter as it ploughed deeply into his body.

His cries were shouts of joy now as he could feel Dakota, feel not just the hard thrust of his penis but the wild beat of his heart, the shrieks of his soul, the immense thunder of his spirit as they all came rushing into his body with each push, with each thrust of that weapon into his body. The sounds of Dakota invaded his innermost thoughts just as Dakota’s penis invaded his virgin body. The muscles no longer protested but instead rejoiced as they felt the heat of passion that came with the wild beat of Dakota’s heart and soul. Noah felt the tears now, felt them rolling down his face unheeded as his own body twisted and turned on the huge pole that it rested on.

The pain was gone, replaced by the excitement of suddenly no longer being alone, of no longer being unsure. No more did he fear who he was or what he was as he felt the blood rushing thru every vein and artery that wrapped around the thick pulsing pole. His body was Dakota’s just as Dakota’s was his and he knew it now, knew it for certain as he squeezed his knees in tighter, Dakota’s voice echoing in his ears as he cried out his love, his need for Noah.

They didn’t hear the flutter of birds that rose from around them, frightened by the passion of their union. They could hear nothing but the thunder of their love as their hearts joined as one. Noah’s body continued to slide up and down the trembling pole that linked them together and with each thrust of his body, he could feel the love embracing him, feel its raw power even as he flung his hips to one side, jerking and twisting to squeeze and hug tightly the pole that was impaled inside of him. His mind could only think of how good it felt, at how hot he was and at how much he loved the full feeling that kept running through his body.

Every part of him ached as he rocked from side to side each time he thrust his body down hard into Dakota’s groin. Each time he pushed to where even the boards beneath them groaned from the pressure he could only feel nothing but a sense of love, of desire that made the pain seem non existent, almost as if it was just a passing pin prick even as his body suddenly found itself in a field surrounded by nothing but warmth and love. His mind couldn’t explain it but his heart understood as it pounded faster and faster as it pushed his blood harder, making it rush to and fro in time with the urgent beat and push coming from Dakota’s own thundering heart. He could hear him, feel his thoughts even as their bodies continued to crush into each other, as Dakota’s hard throbbing pole continued to tear deep into his body, touching him where no other living being had ever been before. He felt it and more than that he could see it now, see the hard thick pole slicing thru his insides as he rocked to one side, as he lifted up for a second and then slammed his own body back down, as the huge thick pole split his innards and cruised deeper with each thrust, each push, each jolt.

His breath grew shorter as he felt his body become a blur of motion, the speed increasing as he dug hard into Dakota’s soft fleshy sides, the bone crushing inwards to rub against Dakota’s own bones. The pain growing as his excitement rose and his lungs ached for air and yet still the beat of his heart only grew faster, only grew more insistent as he rose up and then pushed down in an increasing fury of desire and passion. His tongue hung from the corner of his mouth as his eyes took on a glazed look and still the image of that hard thick pole stayed with him, even growing in size and in detail as his body let the hard pole dig deeper and deeper inside.

Dakota’s voice crying out didn’t even register nor did the sound of his own strident cries make a dent on his thoughts as he felt the hot thick pole slicing and digging into his body. He could feel the pain now, the wonderful pain of passion that filled him with each thrust, each push and he only urged his body onwards, desperate for more, eager to have more as his body continued its wild gyrations, continued to squeeze and hug and tug at the thick throbbing pole the jerked from side to side deep within his bowels. His whole body shook and he felt the wave of tremors that coursed thru his body, reaching his toes and his fingertips and even the very edges of each strand of his hair as he felt Dakota’s love fill him, nurture him and hold him.

Sweat became a river of hot steaming water that flowed all down his body, running across his heaving chest and cascading down onto Dakota’s own raging torrent of sweat. He could hear the distant sound of the streams of water that flowed off his body and yet it only made him go faster, made him desire even more as his body began to tremble, as his own throbbing cock continued to be hard and full despite already having exploded all across Dakota’s chest. The sweat mingled from his body with Dakota’s was barely halted or slowed by the dried cake of his cream that only heightened his passion and drove Dakota to push up harder to greet each downward thrust of Noah’s own body. He could feel the hot liquid as it rolled down his back and swirled around the mountains that were his cheeks, the flesh directing the roaring river of liquid to flow down between them, deep down into his valley where it would come up against the huge pulsing pole that flew in and out of him. Each stream only sizzling and turning to steam as it ran up against the hot burning flesh that was being forced deep into Noah’s body.

Dakota’s cries finally reached thru and Noah felt the sudden thrust as Dakota heaved upwards in one huge giant push that only drove his 8 inch long pole deeper than even Noah thought possible. He could almost taste the burning flesh as it pressed hard deep inside of him, his knees quivered as they hung on, digging harder and harder into Dakota’s body as his head rolled from side to side. He could feel the vein suddenly double in size, feel the blood boiling as it raced thru and he felt the hard bang as the huge thick cock head jerked from side to side deep within his body. He felt it and felt the hot juice flooding out, held back from his own insides by the thin plastic but he could still feel it, still feel its force as it pushed the plastic up and off the fiery cock head but it held as his legs squeezed harder, his muscles finally grabbing hold of the jerking penis insides.

The harsh sound of Dakota struggling to breath mingled with his own exhausted huffs for air as his body could no longer move, the pain replaced by the dull throb of exhaustion as he felt himself falling forward, his body no longer able to support itself upright as the thick throbbing pole continued to jerk from side to side, as it continued to explode its milk that now thickened and stretched the plastic sheath all around it. Noah could feel the thick streams as they rolled down the throbbing pole, feel the hot milky cream turning to steam as it rolled against the sizzling flesh that burned inside of him. His mouth was open and his tongue felt parched and dry as his body finally rested on top of the heaving molten flesh of Dakota’s chest. The huge cock no longer buried deep into his body, a vast emptiness now filling his mind as he tried to move, to get his own exhausted body off the heaving chest, desperate for air as he tried to put into thoughts what had just happened to him.

The warm night air continued to gently blow across the two heaving bodies and the birds that had been frightened off slowly returned, once more to nestle in the trees and brush as the wild sounds of passion no longer scared them, no longer pierced the calm quiet of the night. The stars high up in the heavens continued to twinkle and shine down upon the sweat glistening flesh of the two boys as the only sound now that could be heard was that of their bodies slowly trying to recover, slowly trying to regain a state of composure.

Part 2

The echo of his heart’s thundering noise still danced in his ears and in his mind as he lay there, his body consumed by the wild gyrations still even though they had long since stopped. He couldn’t believe how he could still feel every second no, every millisecond of that time when he was buried deep into Noah’s twisting and turning body. His mind still reeled from the site of Noah’s head rolling around on his shoulders, the eyes blazing in a sort of wild colour of blue with white that seemed to leap out every other heart beat. It was still amazing to him as he felt his chest still heaving, still struggling for air even though the time had long since past that he needed every breath, every molecule of oxygen and yet still he could barely control his breathing.

He had given up trying to speak, to even move really as his body was pinned to the floor not by Noah’s weight but by the sheer utter exhaustion he felt in every part of his body. His legs felt like lead, his arms were so weighted down he was certain that the entire tree had fallen in on him and yet he knew nothing rested on top of his gleaming naked body except the draped arm of Noah. God how that felt to have that limp arm laid across his still heaving chest and yet despite the feeling of unbearable weight on his body, the feel of Noah’s arm wasn’t like any weight at all, more like a feather gently floating on top of his skin. He could feel the matted tiny hairs that he had on his chest tingle with the wind’s breeze or was it from Noah’s closeness?

Dakota couldn’t be sure which it was and for his money he was fairly certain it was Noah’s closeness and not the warm night air that made him tingle still. First to have felt Noah deep inside of his own body had been one sensation that still made him moan a little, still made his body itch as it craved more of the sweet throbbing pole that had entered him but even that paled in comparison to the vivid images that flashed still before his eyes. How amazing it was to have seen that young pale body rising above him, to tower even over him and then the touch. Oh God that first touch of his fingers against the base of his cock had almost made him explode right then and there and yet he hadn’t, instead he had held on far longer than he thought possible given all that he had experienced, that he had felt.

His body quivered a little as he continued to see the wild images of Noah’s body above his, the strange look on his face as he had first lowered his body onto his and the sudden popping open of his eyes as he let Dakota’s thick tool enter him. He still shook at the mere thought of that moment, at how Noah’s face suddenly went pure white as the pain came to him and yet too it was like almost at the same time that he saw the eyes flicker and flash and while the face was chalk white from the tearing aside of his hole his body seemed to suddenly have grown hotter, the desire suddenly becoming stronger than the pain he had been feeling. Dakota could still see the transformation as the pain that was rising was halted just as Noah’s mouth opened wide to yell and instead he could see the desire, the absolute commitment to what he was doing suddenly take charge of his body and no more pain was left etched across Noah’s face. He saw the eyes shake in their sockets as Noah forced his body lower, forced more of Dakota’s thick pole into his tight rectum.

Shivered with reliving of the moment made the arm move slightly down his chest, now resting across the flat washboard belly and Dakota heard a soft murmur of joy come from just next to his shoulder. He couldn’t believe the feelings he still felt, could still feel really as he felt the soft gentle breath of Noah fan across his shoulder, only making him tremble a little more as the images continued to play in his mind and in his heart and deep in his soul. To see that face, all scrunched up as it pushed down, as Noah’s will and desire took charge over the pain and forced it away, as it let in Dakota’s love and passion was something he couldn’t still quite accept or believe. No one had ever shown him such devotion, such passion as Noah showed him in that one brief second when he battled the sudden pain of entry with his own desire to feel the love and to make them both become one.

For him the amazing thing was that he had felt that pain himself, felt the sudden searing jolt his entry had caused Noah and he had wanted to stop, wanted to pull his thick throbbing pole away but something, whether it was Noah’s own body or his own need that held him in place he wasn’t sure, but he hadn’t resisted, he had laid there still, letting the desire from above decide the choice. His own body had felt like a steel rope all twisted and coiled ready for unleashing and yet he could still feel every flinch of Noah’s muscles, every sinew that shook and shuddered to his entry. It was amazing and he shook his head a little, wondering how lucky could he be to have felt such love, such passion and at his age too?

There was no doubt now in his mind as to how much he loved and cared for Noah, and he could feel that love that passions being returned to him a thousand fold. Each time he would ask himself if Noah was the one he would now see that face, the eyes gazing outwards lost in the moment of pain and sweet joy all at once. Turning his face slightly he stared across at Noah who lay next to him. His eyes were closed but he could tell that he was awake, that he too was reliving those moments and for a second he wondered what he was thinking, what he was feeling about that time when once more he saw Noah’s face towering above him and he had his answer.

“It’s weird isn’t it?”

For a moment or two he didn’t move, instead he just laid there, his arm resting across the rippling belly of his man, of his lover. How good it felt to feel those muscles shake and tremble each time his arm moved just a fraction of an inch even, knowing that it desired him almost as much as its owner did. He could feel any better even though every part of his body ached and groaned from the experience. Hell he could still feel the emptiness in his rectum from where Dakota’s cock had briefly filled. Just thinking that brought up the clearest image of that hot thick pulsing pole and he could feel his tongue licking at his lips as he wondered how it would feel to ride that pole again, knowing his body was unable to move and yet the desire was there, just as fervent as before if not more so. He had a taste of it and as much as the pain continued to roll deep inside of him, he wanted to feel it again and for longer and deeper than before.

His eyes flashed and he knew that Dakota could read his thoughts, knew that the hot stud next to him desired him as much as he did and that he was willing to oblige but that he too couldn’t move, that all their energy had been spent and was still not yet returned. If this wasn’t love then he didn’t know if he could survive love because he had given this his all and had barely survived it. The pain was so intense inside of him and yet it didn’t hurt like he had thought, at least not in the way he had thought. In some ways it had hurt more but in a weird sort of way that made him happy, made him want to feel it over and over again. His body trembled with the notion of once more rising up, of once more straddling Dakota’s long lithe body and of taking that massive organ deep inside, but as much as he wanted it, he knew that he just didn’t have the strength to even lift his head up.

“Kind of, in a good way though…”

“Yeah, I never, I mean I want you so much but… I am wasted man, you totally were awesome Noah, I mean…”

“Me? Shit if I had only known how good this would feel after I’d never have freaked before, God Dakota is it always like this?”

“I don’t know, this is like a first for me too, I never felt this drained before, never. And yet as drained as I feel I wish I could just reach out and lift you up and sit you on top again, but I can barely move my head… I can’t believe how I feel Noah, it was so… so…”

Just hearing him talk like that made him squirm a little and he could feel that press inside, that special touch as Dakota’s hard throbbing pole had dug deep down into his body and once more he felt its power, felt it radiant heat as he heard the desire in Dakota’s voice. Yeah he could imagine that and he could see those strong arms holding him by the waist, hoisting him up to sit him down squarely on top of that fiery purple cockhead with the veins sticking out and pulsing as the blood rushed thru them. God he wished that Dakota would do that, lift him up and fill him again but then too he knew he would never last a second, that his body just was too spent, too drained to even sit upright for more than a second, if that.

“Me too, and yet I can think of lots of words to say, but, shit, they don’t fit, they aren’t as… you know as meaningful I guess… silly huh?”

“Uh huh, it is kind of like, I don’t know, like a drug I guess, a good kind that just overtakes you, damn I wish I knew how to say this”

“You are doing fine Dakota, just hearing your voice is enough, Christ I didn’t think I’d be able to speak after that first… well you know, that first rush. Except, I don’t know, it only got more intense, god I want to do it again, and again…”

It was exactly how he felt too and he could feel it as Noah said it. The way his body suddenly grew hot and how the blood inside started to boil the instant his penis touched that moist pink hole and he felt the jolt of electricity pass between them, uniting them in the passion that they both felt for each other. It really did feel like that and yet in some ways it felt different too, like it wasn’t at full force yet, as if there was still more juice in the jolt to be released if they dared. It scared him that what they had done so far might only be a small taste of what lay ahead and yet it also thrilled him and made him think of Montana once more, at how he had spoken to him that night, telling him how when he found Mr Right that he would know how Montana had felt and how all people who truly loved another felt. IT was like he had suddenly been granted permission to be a part of some exclusive club, and he only had one foot in the door for now.

“Really?”

“Um, yeah, but I cant move, I feel like every bone is gone from my body… well almost everyone, shit, I can’t believe it but I got a boner right now”

“Haha, Christ, me too, well not totally but its getting there”

Noah’s eyes opened a bit wider as he looked into Dakota’s face and stared into the rich chocolate eyes. God how dreamy they looked, so rich, so full of desire that he wished he could just reach out and lick them, tasting that rich flavour that was Dakota. He breathed in deeply, smelling the scent that was partly Dakota but also partly him and he smiled, his hard groin beginning to ache even more as the thick vein pulsed before his eyes and he saw it again, the deep mottled red flesh glowing in front of him. God to think that it looked even bigger now than when he had first really looked at it and to think that he couldn’t wait to feel it dive deep into his tiny hole once more only made his ache grow stronger, his desire become stronger.

“Shit, are we weird or is this the way it is supposed to be?”

“Fuck if I know”

“Huh? But I am not your first… how can you…”

“No, you aren’t my first, uh, my first fuck, it is just, shit, it is like you are my first in so many other ways, like, well, it is like all I ever did before this, with the others, was enter and pump and cum, but this wasn’t that, I can’t… I can’t explain it Noah, but it is like you were my first, the first one I ever really wanted to be with, in this way and any other way possible, shit, I sound like a damn flamer, it is just that, I don’t know how this is supposed to be, I never cared for anyone this way before, not like I do for you…”

“For real?”

“Yeah”

“Me too”

Somehow Noah managed to find enough energy to move his body closer so that his warm flesh was touching Dakota’s body wherever possible. His hand had moved down the belly, his fingers resting just above the groin, the fingers lightly laid outwards, as if they were reaching once more for that hot throbbing pole. His eyes were flashing as he continued to stare deeply into Dakota’s face, seeing the passion there, feeling it reach for his own and knowing that what he felt for Dakota was real, wasn’t just a dream or something worse but that it was for real, that it existed here and now and forever.

“I know”

“Spooky huh?”

“Kind of, uh, this is so weird and yet, fuck Noah I wish we could always be together and yet…”

“Me too, but we’ll see each other at school, after all we share a locker, remember?”

“Haha, how could I forget, but shit… school… fuck that is going to be hard… I mean uh, well, you know…”

For the moment all he could think of was what it would be like to have Dakota one more time, to summon the energy to do it just once more before he fell asleep but the mention of school ended his passion and his sudden urge to feel that hard thick pole once more. The fear rose quickly and he could feel it coming not just from his own mind but he could feel it coming from Dakota too. God, how could he have forgotten about school and guys like Hector?

“Shit, I don’t know, do you think they’ll find out? I mean if we just play it cool during the day, they will never know, right?”

Everything grew darker for him as he tried to answer Noah, tried to wonder if he could really keep his hands from reaching out for Noah each time they saw each other or would his desire betray them both? Would he be able to hold back from just wanting to grab Noah and hug him and kiss him or would his need for him put them both at risk? Christ he felt so scared all of a sudden, knowing that exposure would hurt Noah more than him in many ways, he at least had a taste of that when it got around about Montana but still, how could he let Noah experience any of that?

“Fuck, I don’t know, I mean, not like we have a choice really, and yet, shit, I don’t know Noah, if they do it’ll be fucking hell, if we can keep it between us that will be fucking hell too, I mean, I just… I just want to be with you, to hold you and stuff, and… shit I don’t know”

Noah could hear the pain and fear in Dakota’s voice and he felt it too, unsure of what he could say or do to help because he knew better than Dakota what it would be like if guys like Hector ever found out about them. He could feel the cold creeping thru his body where only a few minutes earlier it had felt like a blast furnace inside of him, now it was becoming like a frozen wasteland as his mind conjured up a myriad of horrors, worse than any painted words on a locker had been. His heart ached as his hand rested on Dakota’s belly, trembling with the fear until he felt the soft squeeze of Dakota’s hand on top of his own. Noah felt the love reaching for him and yet he also felt the fear, both battling within him for dominance as he wondered if he could keep his desire secret, if he could not suddenly run towards Dakota each time he saw him in the hallway or even if he could hold back from wanting to just nestle into the crook of his arm each morning. The fear was winning as he felt Dakota’s hand take his and move it up to Dakota’s face, and he felt the soft brush of his lips against the back of his hand and finally he managed to turn his face upwards and gaze into the face of the boy who had captured his heart and soul.

“Dakota… I… I don’t know if… I mean I know I have to, it is just that…”

“I know, me too Noah, but we don’t have any choice, fuck, why does it have to be like this? Fuck… Damn them, maybe we should… I mean…”

“What? I don’t…”

“I can’t, I wish I could, but Noah this will only, I mean… fuck I want you so badly, to be with you always, but if we do, you are going to get hurt, and I don’t want that… I couldn’t live with that, I mean you deserve…”

“Stop it, you are scaring me Dakota, what are you saying?”

“I don’t know, maybe we should… should just stop this…”

“WHAT?” NO! No Dakota, please, you can’t mean that… Please I don’t know how I could… NO! NO I WON’T LET You!”

It was like a knife being driven slowly into his heart. How could Dakota even think that he wondered as he suddenly found the strength to sit up, to yank his hand from out of Dakota’s grasp as his whole body shook with a mixture of rage and fear. How dare he try that, after what he had gone through to think that Dakota could even think something like that had him in turmoil and yet the fear inside knew that all Dakota was doing was trying to protect him.

Well fuck that he thought, he wasn’t some 12 year old kid, he was almost a man and so what if they found out, fuck them because what he had with Dakota none of them would ever have, he knew that in his soul as his body ached from the sudden movement and yet he ignored it, sitting up and staring down at the surprised Dakota. No, he wouldn’t give up what he had just found because some fucking assholes were scared of who they were, it was their problem not his and he wouldn’t let this go, no fucking way would he let Dakota be anything less than he was to him now. He couldn’t, not if what he felt had been real and he could feel the throb inside of him, that special ache that he had felt the second Dakota had penetrated his body and become a part of him. No, this wasn’t going to be his first and last time feeling that way, not as long as he could breath and the fire in his soul rose up, his eyes flashed with bolts of anger and passion as he tried to control his breathing, as he tried to formulate the words he needed to convince Dakota that he was more than able to handle this, that he was willing to take whatever happened as long as he could be with Dakota.

“You don’t realize how bad it can be Noah, Shit, I don’t want this, God you have to believe me, I wish I could be with you, 24 hours a day every day of the week, I have never felt like this before, never really wanted to be with someone half as much as I want to be with you, please, you have to believe that”

“I do, Christ I do Dakota, but I won’t let you sacrifice us because of them, they don’t deserve it, hell I don’t deserve it, not now, not after tonight, I couldn’t handle it.”

Dakota saw the way Noah’s eyes were glaring, the fire inside flickering with each word that Noah spoke. It was like tiny bolts of lightning each time he said a word, tiny bolts that flashed and pierced outwards. His own body ached as he too found the strength to sit up, to look directly into Noah’s face and as much as he admired the sudden courage he doubted if Noah could keep it up for long. He had been there, had seen how it worn his own brother down until finally Montana had simply walked away, beaten and cowed by the ignorance of just a few. None of his so called friends had dared to stand up to it, the one or two who had thought about it were quickly shouted down or worse, felt the wrath of those ignorant few. He had seen it and he knew what to expect, some of that ignorance had spilled out to him, one reason why he put himself thru the torture of living the double life. Why he dated girls when they revolted him and why he even had sex with them, all so he could spare himself that same torture that his brother had endured.

“I know that, I know it isn’t right, but fuck what else can we do? I know I couldn’t go seeing you without betraying our secret, I know I am not that strong, not around you, shit… and you know you aren’t either, Christ man you shot your wad just being next to me and that was before tonight, how the fuck are you going to control how you feel now? No, this sucks but…”

“No, I won’t let you, I don’t care what you say, I’ll find a way to control it, just like you will, please Dakota…”

“I can’t Noah, I don’t care for myself, it is you I care about, and those guys, they’ll eat you alive, trust me I have seen just a hint of that crap, I know what I am saying…”

He was losing the fight, he could sense it in Dakota’s voice and the thought of never once more touching, holding, or even kissing Dakota was too much for him. Tears rolled down his face as he sat there, legs crossed in front of him and his head bowed down but deep inside, where he still could feel Dakota’s presence he refused to surrender, refused to give up what seemed like a hopeless struggle.

“Fine, then I’ll… I’ll out myself”

At first he didn’t think he heard him right but then he knew inside that he had and he felt the cold chill racing up and down his spine. How could Noah even think of doing something like that? Didn’t he understand that by doing that he would get the crap kicked out of him? SHit, if he did do that, could he stand by and let that shit happen to the guy he said he cared for? Fuck, he was screwed either way because all he wanted was to protect Noah, to not let him get hurt and so he knew that by sacrificing what he wanted, by letting Noah go he could do that, would all be for nothing if Noah went and did that. How could he? Didn’t he realize how it would all play out? It was confusing to him, and he wasn’t sure how or what to say, because he never had felt this way before, never understood what it had meant to be in love until now, and it made no sense.

“Huh? Noah… Christ don’t talk stupid”

“I am not, I mean it, what difference will it make?”

“A fucking lot, shit if you go do that, I mean, you don’t have to, don’t you see? This is what I am trying to tell you, if we stop this now, you won’t have to do that, no one will know about you, you will be safe”

“Safe? Fuck that shit man, I know how I feel, in here, inside me right now, I know that what I felt when you were inside, it is what I want to feel all the time, if I can’t have that then what the fuck is the use? What difference does it make then if they know or not? Least this way I’ll be who I am, not some stupid wimp hiding…”

“Christ Noah, you’ll get the crap beaten out of you, and take it from me, that isn’t a good feeling, hell it won’t make you feel any more like a man…”

“I don’t care, I mean it Dakota, if I can’t have you why should I hide who I am? So what if I get knocked down a few times or punched, what fucking difference will that make? Okay, it’ll hurt, I’ll probably cry too, so what? It can’t hurt any more than how I am hurting right now, just imagining what it would be like not to hold you, not to touch you or kiss you or anything… no, I’d rather get punched than live without you.”

He felt desperate now, seeing the look coming into Noah’s eyes and he remembered that look, it was no different of a look than the one Montana had when he finally gave up, when he finally let himself stop fighting and it tore deep into Dakota’s heart as he felt like he was about to lose again. It was as if he was been shown a glimpse of what could be and then just as he was about to reach for it, to embrace it, it was suddenly taken away from him, just as Montana had been snatched from him too.

“Fuck… Noah… I can’t… I can’t let you do that, don’t you see? It isn’t about a punch or two, fuck they’ll get you down, they’ll take the boots to you, fuck man they could kill you… is that what you want?”

Strange, as much as Dakota tried to scare him he didn’t care. It was almost as if someone had switched off a light inside of him and all he could think about was how lonely, how empty his whole life would be without Dakota to share it with. It was freaky because he couldn’t understand the feeling, couldn’t quite explain it to himself let alone to anyone else but it was sort of, well sort of like without Dakota there would be a huge hole inside of him. A hole that no one could ever fill but Dakota and he just knew that he couldn’t live with that hole, it just wouldn’t be worth it and he grew resigned to knowing that his own life just wouldn’t be anything with that hole inside. The thought of someone or more than just one kicking at him, punching at him, it didn’t appeal to him and in fact it did scare him but that fear was nothing compared to the fear of trying to live with that hole inside.

“Maybe”

“Noah!”

“I don’t care Dakota, if I can’t be with you, what difference does it make?”

“Fuck that is dumb, you will find someone else, give it time, shit man, you can’t just… I mean…”

“Find someone else? Yeah maybe, but they’ll never touch me the way you have, they’ll never make me feel the way you do, even now, so why bother? I don’t want second best, I want you”

“Noah… please, think about this…”

“I have, I mean it, I don’t give a shit what Hector or any of them do if it means not having you, don’t you see that? We are meant for each other, I knew that the second I saw you leaning on the locker, you know it, you felt it too, tell me you didn’t, tell me right now you don’t feel the same way? Go on, tell me!”

“I can’t… shit you know that”

“Then…”

‘Then’ echoed inside his head as he sat there, knowing that he was facing a choice, a decision that would perhaps define him. Funny, he had thought that his taking the chance to go and knock on Noah’s window that first night would be that moment, would be the one thing that would define who he was but now, now he realized that it was only a prelude to this moment in time. He lowered his head to stare down at his naked legs crossed in front of him, his hands rested on them and he could see the slight murmur or vibration of his fingers as his heart pounded loudly inside of his chest.

How could he let Noah do what he said he’d do if he cared for him? How could he stand by and let others beat on him or worse if he really felt the way he thought he had felt the second he had seen Noah coming down the hallway? It was just like he had said, the instant he saw the smaller figure walking he felt that hitch in his heart and now, after all that they had felt he knew that moment hadn’t been an illusion, that it was real, just as Montana had warned him it would be.

Funny, he could sit here now knowing that what he said next would make or break him as a person, and yet he could hear his brother’s laugh, see his face smiling as he had explained to his 13 year old brother how love was a wonderful feeling that filled you with strange new feelings, that it would soothe you in times of trouble and yet lead you to trouble too because it was a hard taskmaster. It would demand your best not just once in awhile but always and he knew now that his love for Noah was just that, demanding of him something he didn’t know if he could give.

His heart was still now, the beat suddenly quietened down as his spirit ached as he tried to make the right decision. He wasn’t sure which way to turn and then he felt his brother’s presence. His eyes grew moist as he hesitantly lifted his head to gaze outwards, and he saw Noah’s face before him. God how beautiful he looked, so loving, so caring and as he looked at the face he saw his brother’s face too, his own dark eyes piercing with the flame of life inside as he seemed to be resting his head on Noah’s shoulder. He felt his presence inside too as his heart skipped a beat and his lungs sucked in a breath of air.

A strange warmth came to him, forcing the cold chill of his fear back, and he stared at Noah and his brother, the two people who had touched his heart unlike any other person had. He felt the love coming from both and he closed his eyes, afraid of looking, afraid that it would be the last time he would see those two faces and yet as his eyes closed, he felt the warmth, felt the sudden rise of temperature deep down inside of him and then he could hear the soft beat next to his heart, the soft gentle beat of not one but of two hearts and he trembled from the fear of it, knowing that Noah and his brother were both with him now, both of them trying to see into his own heart, to see what he truly felt and he panicked at that for a moment or two, wishing he could jump up and run away but his body refused his mind, and he sat there, trembling with the fear that they would know his secret, his thoughts.

The sound of his brother’s voice in his ear made him start a little, made his body squirm too as he heard him talking, heard him asking him why he was so afraid, asking him why he was willing to be alone when right across from him sat his perfect match, his perfect partner. He had no answer for his brother as he lifted his eyelids open, to stare into Noah’s face, to see the powder blue eyes gazing at him with nothing but love inside of them. He could feel his heart too, the soft gentle beat and once more he felt that moment, felt the wild strange feeling that had rushed into his body the split second that his hard throbbing pole had pierced the inside of Noah’s virgin body.

“Then… then I guess we take them on together”

Noah had sat perfectly still, seeing the way Dakota’s face was all scrunched up as he tried to work it all out inside of him and he didn’t feel frightened now. It was like the war was over and that somehow Dakota would not abandon him. He felt it, deep inside and he couldn’t explain it but the fear he had was gone, only a soft warm glow seemed to fill his body as he had stared at Dakota, waiting and now he had his answer and still he just sat there, still and quiet as he looked deep down into Dakota’s heart. He had felt his fear, knew that it wasn’t just that Dakota had been afraid for him, but that Dakota had feared that he might not be strong enough to face the Hector’s himself. Somehow though, he had worked beyond that, and he sighed a little as he realized that for now, that hole would not happen.

He felt the love around him and he could see Dakota’s eyes now, the way they were still scared but at least no longer did he look petrified by that fear and he glanced down, to see that they both were holding onto each other’s hands. He had no idea when or how it had happened but it had. He closed his fingers over Dakota’s a bit tighter now as he felt the love warming his heart and chasing away the last remnants of fear that lingered near by. Noah was about to speak when they heard the cry, the shrill voice of a girl calling their names.

Dakota heard it too and for a moment or two he just ignored it, but finally he yelled out, asking Arizona what it was she wanted. His impatience rather a pleasing sound to Noah who noticed that both of them were once more fully aroused, which quickly ended as Arizona answered her brother.

“Ma sent me, uh Noah’s parents are here for him, so uh… you better get decent and hurry back, I don’t think uh… just hurry okay?”

 

Chapter 7

Choose thy love. Love thy choice.

– German Proverb

Part 1

He opened his eyes slowly, not quite sure where he was and then he felt the warm chest under his head rising in a steady rhythm and he suddenly felt relaxed and at ease. His own breathing began to rise a little as he thought about where he was and he moved his head a little to stare up at the clear blue sky that lay above him, no city lights to interfere with the pristine view or cloud it over. He sighed a little thinking of how lucky he was and how much he felt like fate had somehow taken a hand and made him come to this point, now if he could only manage to do his part, maybe then all this would be exactly as he dreamed?

No, thinking like that wasn’t going to help, because nothing he had dreamed of could ever equal how he was feeling right now, or had felt all the time he had been here or with Dakota. Nothing in all of his reading, his searching could ever equal the warmth he was feeling inside, the strange ease at which he now felt. Funny, he could feel the dried love between his legs and normally that feeling always irritated him but now, now it was like a badge of proof, a symbol maybe that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Noah turned his face away from the distant stars to gaze down at Dakota and was surprised to see Dakota’s dark brown eyes gazing up at him. He felt a strange thrill go thru his whole body, as he looked deep into those rich brown eyes, feeling a sense of love that he never felt before, a sense that he was something special to this tall lanky boy whose chest he was resting on. He could feel the tingle growing between his legs too as he felt the soft gentle touch of Dakota’s fingers against his cheek as Noah continued to look into the eyes. It was everything he had ever imagined love to be and oh so much more that he wanted to shout it out, to stand up and proclaim his love and as he thought of it, he felt the gentle touch of Dakota’s finger tips against his lips, gently brushing past his thin pale lips, making his heart scream in pure pleasure.

Nothing had ever felt so good, so sensual as that simply touch and that loving look and yet as he stared down at him he knew that what they had right now was just that, it was now and there was still tomorrow and the next day to think about. Funny, he never really thought much about tomorrow, instead he just dealt with what was going on now but being here, being in Dakota’s arms like this was making him think of other things, about a future that was both intriguing as well as frightening. There was so much ahead of him and as he thought about that he knew that as long as he had Dakota to share it with, nothing that was out there could be too tough, too difficult. Noah sighed as he snuggled down into Dakota’s warm beating chest, hearing the heart beat go just a little faster as he lips lightly touched the soft smooth tanned flesh, tasting a little salty but also very sweet to the brush of his mouth.

His body trembled a little as Dakota’s fingers moved down his face, down his chin to gently lift it up so that he could continue to gaze into Noah’s face. It was strange, but he could hear the soft gentle whispers of the wind blowing thru the tree, hear that soft rustle of leaves shaking a little and yet despite all of those sounds, the one sound that he heard the most was Dakota’s heart beating next to his own body. His hand moved down the side of Dakota’s body, touching the cool flesh and feeling the taught muscles beneath the flesh, feeling them shiver to his touch, which only made his own heart, beat a tad faster. It was so unreal, to feel someone reacting to his touch, to enjoy his presence that he sighed, a sort of content sound that brought a small smile to Dakota’s face.

God how perfect was this? He shook a little as he felt the growing heat between his legs, knowing that his body was once more reacting but he no longer panicked, no longer worried that he might once more embarrass himself or disappoint Dakota because he could feel it inside, could feel the warmth that Dakota had for him, not for his body but for him. Strange, he had always wondered how he’d react, how he’d feel if he ever met that special someone and now that he was feeling it, there simply were no words to explain it, no images that could equal it in his mind either and he nestled in closer, feeling the warmth growing between their two bodies.

Dakota “Are you cold?”

Noah “No, you?”

Dakota “No, not with you on top, you keep me warm”

Noah “Should I move? I mean…”

Dakota “Sssh, don’t move, I love this feeling, the way you are, it just feels right, ya know?”

Noah “Mmm, it is how I feel too”

Everything was just like Montana had told him except even more so. He smiled up at Noah, feeling his legs brushing up against his and he could feel the growing bulge that was becoming harder with each beat of his own heart. God it felt so good, to feel someone like Noah next to him, to have someone like him that seemed to actually care about him and not just about sex. His own body was growing warmer by the second as he let his hands move down Noah’s thin frame, feeling the soft skin as his fingertips lightly moved along, feeling the way it felt and he could smell Noah too, his scent mingling with his own aroma to add a strange and yet powerful perfume to their closeness.

No one had made him cum like Noah had, not even Montana had that power over him and as he continued to let his hand move up and down Noah’s body he felt the exhilaration once more, the way he thought his heart would simply pop out from his chest as their breathing became so ragged, so hard to catch that he thought he’d suffocate. It all came rushing back to him and he could feel his own manhood rising again, feeling the need to be once more a proud indicator of his feelings. His eyes continued to stare at the soft lines around Noah’s face, the way he looked and now too the way he felt was something he still found amazing. He had touched Noah before, had held him before but even that all paled to the way he was feeling right at this moment. It was almost as if it was a first time for him and yet his mind knew it wasn’t, but still his body reacted like it was and he felt himself arch up a bit, trying to meld with Noah’s own warm skin.

Strange really, to feel this good and all that had happened was that they had both cummed without any hands, any entry, any oral help and he could still feel the dried milk on his legs and belly. It was a feeling of such warmth, such desire that he felt his body shake to the memory of that split second when Noah’s hard throbbing pole had reared back and then jerked forward with amazing strength and power to explode its love all over him. Suddenly he glanced down to see Noah’s eyes clearly open and gazing into his own face, and he smiled, enjoying the soft gentle touch of Noah’s hands along his sides, and his heart beginning to race faster as he felt the desire rising, felt the heat inside once more become fanned by his insatiable need for Noah. It was like he was being awakened from a long sleep, almost as if he was a furnace being stoked slowly and steadily and his hands moved with a bit more urgency now, pulling Noah up his body so that their heads now were closer, so that he could actually feel Noah’s breath against his own face.

The warm breath only drove his heart faster and he could see the look now, see the desire being returned which was all his soul needed. In a flash he could feel the fires that were merely flickering inside fan out and upwards, roaring into life with a new found strength that surprised him for a second or two as his hands stopped, holding Noah’s body at the hips, his fingers suddenly growing taut as they dug deep into the flesh.

Their eyes locked in that second and he could feel a growing tremor deep down in his body as his body shook and shuddered a little to the feel of Noah’s body on top of his own. He felt a warmth he had never experienced before, felt a giddiness that made him smile even more as he finally found the strength to let his fingers free, to move his hands up and to take hold of Noah’s head between both hands. He held onto the warm cheeks, keeping Noah’s face in parallel with his and then he lifted his head upwards, his long eyelashes fluttering a bit as they closed over his eyes and his lips lightly pressed up against Noah’s mouth.

The bolt of energy was amazing and he felt not only his whole body shake and rumble to it, but Noah’s as well. It was like the heavens had suddenly opened up and deluged them in a raging torrent of pure electricity. HIs body ached in such a way that he could feel the tears welling up at the corners of his eyes and all that from just a simple light kiss. His lips were gently brushing Noah’s when the full force of his desire came up from within and now his body grew hard, the muscles grew taut and coiled like steel bands. His tongue darted out suddenly just as his lips pushed forward hard, crushing into Noah’s waiting mouth. He tasted the salt around the lips as his tongue pressed between the two thin fleshy lips, banging against Noah’s teeth as if knocking on a door, demanding entry.

In a split second he felt Noah’s hands reaching down to press on his body and then wrap around his sides, the fingers digging deep into his flesh as the mouth parted hesitantly at first and then with an eagerness that only drove his desire higher, made his heart skip two or three beats as it reared back and began to race forward like a horse galloping towards the finish line for the last furlong. His body grew hotter as his mind could only stare blankly at the vivid images of Noah that now floated across his sight. He could see the way Noah wore his hair, the way it sometimes hung down over one eye, how it curled around the top lobe of one ear but completely hung straight down the other ear. All of it flashed across his mind as he felt his tongue snaking past the teeth and delving deep into the warm hot mouth that now eagerly awaited him.

Dakota tasted the salt and the sweetness all at once. His body groaned as his cock suddenly sprang upwards, fully gorged by the racing hot blood that now filled the huge thick member. He felt Noah’s hand reaching down, pushing past his arm and his stomach, almost as if he was trying to harness the huge pole that now stuck up and pressed into Noah’s thigh. He could feel his own desire welling up as he let his hands fall from Noah’s face, the one hand reaching out to his side, to reach for a plastic package but his fingers failed as his body shook to the passionate darting tongue that now swirled and licked at his own snaking tongue. He felt it lick at the underside of his tongue, making him groan with joy and he heard a soft gurgled whimper join him and he could feel the rising heartbeat of not just his own but of Noah’s heart as well.

With his hands to his side, he felt the sudden tremor explode all along his body as Noah’s hand finally reached his thick throbbing pole and he felt the touch of Noah’s fingers against his hot groin. It was another amazing bolt that seemed to make that first one seem like nothing more than a tickle. His legs grew taut and shook in a strange quiver that made Dakota’s toes curl up and ache. As the fragrance of the night filled the air with its perfume, Dakota could feel the rising scent of their desire filling his nostrils and making him sweat now, making his body feel like it was about to melt away in the night as he held onto Noah, his hands holding the trembling body closer, feeling the desire that Noah had for him enter his own body. He could feel the jolts coming to his own flesh from every pore in Noah’s body and he moaned now, enjoying the touch and press of Noah’s smaller body on his, revelling in the new feelings that were once more rampant thru his whole being. Even his mind couldn’t deny the pleasure as every one of his fears, every one of his doubts, every ounce of his pain was suddenly washed away before the building love that came flooding into him.

Dakota broke away from Noah, his head tilting back as he struggled for air and attempted to hold back the rising tide of passion that was coming to the forefront of his thoughts. His body shook as he felt the hot wet kisses on his chin and then his neck as Noah refused to stop, refused to deny his mouth the taste and pleasure of Dakota’s body and all Dakota could do was revel in it, enjoy it because his body was now a prisoner of Noah’s own desires. Everything he had thought about was no longer important; every doubt was vanquished by the strident desire that came rushing to him from Noah’s body. He felt the wetness on the hollow of his neck; the rough edged tongue licking and filling it with its own thickness and once more his voice rang out in pleasure. His legs were even more taut, harder and rigid than he thought possible as Noah’s body slipped down a few inches, his legs now dangling past the curled edges of Dakota’s toes. Noah’s own groin now hovered over Dakota’s crotch; the hard thick pole that had so proudly jutted upwards was now wedged between their two bodies, rubbing up between them both on their bellies.

He felt Noah reaching down, pulling his throbbing pole and positioning it between their rumbling stomachs, pulling Noah’s own hard but smaller cock to rest next to it, to make their poles lie between them as he pressed down with all of his weight and while his mouth continued to devour Dakota’s flesh. Both of Noah’s hands were wedged tightly between them, tightly under Noah’s groin and the hands were pressing hard into Dakota’s heavily laden sac, pressing against the two full eggs that nestled within and he could hear Noah moaning now, hear his own joy at the pleasure he was getting from being so close to him, so a part of his body that he reached over with his two hands to gently push Noah down even more, to let his mouth taste more of his chest and his body.

His eyes opened and he saw the brilliant light display of the night’s sky laid out before him as Noah teeth suddenly bit lightly on one nipple. His whole body leapt upwards, the pure joy almost too much for him as he felt his thick pole jerk backwards, the fiery hot cock head swelling up even more as blood poured from his limbs towards his groin. His pulse raced as his mind watched the unbelievable sparkle of the stars, wondering if this display was for him alone or was it just a prelude to what lay ahead for him? His thoughts became jumbled as his body fell backwards, his legs moving apart as he let Noah’s body slip down between them. Just as Noah’s hips were below Dakota’s own groin, his legs lifted upwards, the knees clamping tightly around Noah’s hips and holding him hard. Noah groaned now as his mouth licked and kissed the hot hard washboard stomach.

Dakota could see the brilliant white and blue lights clearly and he smiled knowing that Montana was watching and approving. He looked away from the heavens to look down his sweating body to see the sweat soaked strands of Noah’s hair flashing across his own flesh. He felt their almost whip like lash as Noah moved his head from side to side, eager to kiss and taste every inch of Dakota’s flesh, and he bit his lower lip, holding back the sudden urge to just lean back and let it all happen, to once more let his body explode freely but the desire inside held him back, urging him to go for more than the first blush of love and he cried out a little as his hand reached out, touching Noah’s head with the palm and then he pushed, his legs opening apart so that Noah’s body could easily slide further down Dakota’s body.

His arms suddenly shot outwards as the feeling of Noah’s body sliding down, the feeling of Noah’s hot flesh as it slid past the throbbing heat stick that was his cock was once more threatening to overwhelm him but somehow Dakota held on, his teeth biting down on his lower lip so hard that he tasted a thin trickle of blood but it was worth it, he knew that as his hands banged against the hard wooden floor. Once more his head was tilted back and he could see the sky as he felt the warm night’s air blowing across his face and yet as it passed over his face all he could think of was how gorgeous Noah looked, how exciting it felt to have his head moving down his body and his hands playing with his body. The small almost stubby fingers pressing into his hard flesh didn’t even hurt, it only reminded him of how much he wanted Noah, how much he needed him and how lost he’d be without him. His heart continued it erratic beat now, unsure if the rest of Dakota’s body could handle the thundering pace but deep down inside, deep within his soul he knew that not only could he handle this, but that this was merely a beginning for him.

With that certainty burning upwards Dakota reached down one last time, pushing Noah’s head a bit more down, and as he did he began to tremble. His whole body now shook uncontrollably as he felt the hot breath of Noah blow across his steaming cock head. He felt the blood leaving his hands and racing up his arms to flow thru every possible vein and artery towards the demanding pole that now was free of being held down by Noah’s body. It was standing upright now, the very tip of it jutting under Noah’s chin for a moment or two, the hot pre cum rolling down the thick fiery head in an unstoppable torrent. His legs were once more like steel as they wavered from lack of strength, the knees shaking even as there was a small pause.

Just for a brief instant Noah’s mouth wasn’t touching Dakota’s flesh and for a split second, Dakota’s body stopped its twitching. It was almost as if both were suddenly aware of what was ahead, as if all of the rest was nothing but a teaser to what was to come. He heard Noah sucking in air, filling his lungs and he glanced down, seeing the thin strands of blond hair gently lying across his now still belly. He could see the ends of the sweat soaked hair as they were laid out across his whole lower body and thru the various strands he could see Noah’s nose, see the sweat dripping down from his forehead and down the bridge of Noah’s nose, pooling only for a second before falling off the tip, to fall and evaporate on the hot flesh of his own body. Weird really because he hadn’t felt that before, now he could feel each drop of sweat that hit his lower belly and top of his crotch. It was like a gentle tapping and yet with each drop, each tap he could feel his heart thunder a bit, roar perhaps but in a different way, sort of like it was a signal coming into his heart, which was carefully answered.

Strange how he had never felt that sensation before and yet now, at this particular frozen moment in time he could. It held him in awe really because he couldn’t quite make it all out, but he knew that deep inside something was recognizing the signals, understanding the small taps that hit him. His muscles coiled too and he could feel them tingling, his nerves all on edge as the new sensations seemed to almost overpower them, almost but not quite. His body shuddered a little as he saw the powder blue eyes thru Noah’s wet blonde hair and his heart ached, struggling now to keep pace with the demands of his body. It was like he was being pulled out of his body even the way he felt so light headed, so detached in one sense and yet so mesmerized in another. Dakota knew that every part of his body was being tuned and honed for the coming moments and it was kind of scary, to realize that all of this was because of the boy kneeling down at his groin. Christ what would he do if Noah ever left him and he felt a strange emptiness threatening to overcome him but the beat of his heart, the pulse of his blood flowing thru his veins shunned the fear and Dakota watched as Noah lowered his head, his lips now held a hairbreadth above his tightened belly.

Noah had seen the desire in Dakota’s eyes and he felt it deep inside of him too. He hadn’t a clue what was going to happen, as his mind no longer had any control over his body. It was almost as if a revolution had happened in which his heart now ruled him instead of his mind. Strange feeling really as his eyes couldn’t help but stare deeply into Dakota’s face. The way his face gleamed from the sheen of sweat that coated his perfectly tanned face made his body ache in places he never knew could ache. The very tips of his hair hurt, whether it was the semi long strands from his head or the smaller tiny peach fuzz that covered his whole body, the tips all felt like they were actually on fire, burning him and yet not. He could feel the terrific warmth that seemed to only grow in intensity as he had slid down slowly the tall lanky frame and now, here he was, sitting back a little, his upper body raised up by his arms as he stared down at the source of the heat, or maybe it wasn’t the source, maybe it was merely the place where it was flowing the most from because Noah felt it hitting him from all over. His whole body trembled a little as he had lifted up his head to stare upwards, to let his eyes slowly gaze up along the sweat soaked tanned flesh of Dakota until they finally locked with the deep rich chocolate brown of Dakota’s own piercing eyes. His heart thundered at that glance, at that vision of love that seemed to shimmer before him.

He felt his legs pulling back and up under his butt, letting him lean backwards without fear of falling as his body no longer rested fully on his arms, and he could sit up a little now. Everything seemed to be in slow motion and yet he knew that barely a second or two had passed as he gathered his breath, eager to continue even though he had no idea of what would happen or if he even could do what Dakota expected. He had felt the legs move to rest on either side of his own shaking body, had felt the hard press of Dakota’s knees into his hips and yet all he could think of was how warm he felt, how safe he felt and how much he loved being here, being in this very spot at this very second of time in his young life. He couldn’t imagine a better feeling and yet something inside kept telling him that this was nothing that this would soon fade from his memory because there was so much more to experience, so many new heights waiting for him and for Dakota.

His eyes closed and yet he could still see the warm face floating before him, he could still feel the love and desire penetrating his eyelids as his body shuddered and he lowered his head. He smelled the warm rich fragrance of Dakota wafting upwards, felt it invade every one of his pores as his lips hovered briefly over the hot sizzling flesh of Dakota’s belly and he waited perhaps a second, maybe two before he surrendered into the throbbing ache of his whole body. His lips moved that tiniest of a fraction and as they brushed against the hot flesh his body suddenly grew taut, his muscles coiled even tighter as the sudden jolt came rushing into his body. Noah felt it racing thru his whole body as he pressed down a little harder, feeling the belly rising up to greet his kiss and he felt Dakota’s own shaking and trembling as they were suddenly joined in an amazing rush of joy. He felt tears rolling down his face to mingle with the hot steamy sweat of his desire and yet he could clearly feel Dakota’s joy, feel the beat of his heart right next to his own and in that instant he knew this was not a passing fancy, not some high school crush but was real, more real perhaps than he had even dared dream about.

Noah moved his lips down, kissing and touching the fiery hot flesh, tasting the rivers of salty sweat that came cascading down the shuddering body and yet with each taste, each press of his lips he could also feel the excitement rising inside. His groin was like a blast furnace, the heat threatening to melt his very flesh with its heat and yet even as the warmth grew his heart seemed to be still, waiting for another moment before it would explode in thunderous activity. He could feel the blood rushing from his limbs, feel it burning his veins and arteries as it rushed to the very tip of his manhood. He ached between the very cheeks of his buttocks as his lips brushed up against the soft slightly dark hair that acted like a guide to his mouth, slowly keeping him along a straight simple path downwards. His body grew tighter, the muscles squeezing him in a way he didn’t think possible and yet despite the growing pain, the increasing discomfort, he felt happy beyond words, beyond expression. He was finally entering a whole new world of emotions, as his lips tasted the wiry hairs that were leading him down.

Dakota’s fingers struggled to dig themselves into the hard wooden floor but they could grasp nothing, could hold nothing as the extreme pain of waiting grew unbearable for him and he could hear himself breathing in short ragged gasps. His body trembled uncontrollably, his legs wavered as he held them up, keeping Noah between them and yet he felt like he was losing all feeling in them, except for where they touched Noah’s warm naked body. There he felt nothing but a growing warmth, a heat that seemed to flow upwards into his heart, even as the fires in his soul seemed to be exploding outwards in a white flame. The pain was only growing, refusing to let him think or to let his mind control anything. His head grew even more light headed as he felt the rough tip of Noah’s tongue tasting his dark pubic hairs, lifting the tiny wiry hairs up and then flattening them down coated in Noah’s saliva. His groin thrust upwards, eager for Noah’s attention and his hands moved down, his fingers desperate to reach out and take Noah’s head and guide it quickly to his groin.

The heat seemed like it was burning his very lips as they touched the fiery flesh and tasted the salt-caked pubic hairs that stood up before him. His tongue lashed out, licked at the soft flesh underneath, his rough edged weapon slowly forcing the wiry hairs to lay flat, to surrender to his overpowering assault and he could enjoy the taste of the scented skin. His mind was in shock as his body eagerly devoured the new sensation of Dakota’s body, revelling in its freshness, in its strangeness and yet his heart kept pace, refusing yet to surrender control to the raging hormones that now boiled within Noah’s body. He could feel the tension in Dakota, feel the body arching upwards to press even harder into his own face and the pain in his blood gorged pole threatened to explode the second his heart let its guard down. Everything was moving so fast and yet not, as his vision was filled with the various images of Dakota’s warm vibrating body.

He saw the way the hair fell flat as his tongue licked at it, saw the way the skin itself moved to the press of his tongue, watched in utter amazement as the tiny pores opened wide before him and all of this on top of the image of Dakota’s floating eyes. His body was in heaven or so it felt like it had to be because nowhere else could he feel such desire, such passion and even though his mouth ached he moved further down now, to stare at the small spiral hairs curled around the massive stump that was the base of Dakota’s huge throbbing organ.

Noah’s eyes widened as his chin brushed past the side of the huge red tinted pole that now stuck upright, unbowed by the press of his face against it. He felt the heat seer his cheek as he moved down, his tongue licking deep into the soft inner thigh, the place where Dakota’s legs joined his crotch. He heard the growing murmurs and realized it was his own voice echoing in his ears. His desire was growing just as his amazement grew at the sight of that beautiful hot throbbing pole that waited eagerly for him. It was almost as if it was sensing his presence, the way it leaned towards him, no matter which way he moved, the huge towering pole followed him in a fashion.

His long thick tongue snaked out to lick deeply into the crevice between Dakota’s thigh and groin and he heard the pounding of a fist on wood, then the loud groan of joy that echoed over his own moans of delight. His body shook as he felt the tremor racing thru Dakota’s legs as his cheek once more brushed against the hot thick pole. It had to be over a foot around he thought even though it really was no more than 2 ¼ inches around, yet this close, this near his eyes couldn’t focus. All he could see was the growing tufts of hair curled around the base, the fine pores spread wide apart, sweat drops slowly trickling down from the belly only adding to the strange sight. His body felt like it would simply explode, as he stared at the hard thick member, as he felt the blast of heat that swirled around it and Noah tilted his head, resting the one side onto Dakota’s thigh.

His one hand now reached out slowly, moving gingerly up along the far leg, feeling the sweat that poured down the sides and he could feel Dakota’s heart beating as he slowly moved his hand up to the knee then down, slowly down towards the groin, towards where his head rested. Noah saw the fingers of his own hand coming down the lightly brown legs, the tan paling as the blood drained from Dakota’s limbs towards that huge massive organ that was now Noah’s focus.

The pain was excruciatingly wonderful as he felt the slow steady brush of Noah’s hand and fingers against his quivering leg. He couldn’t believe how the pain hurt so deeply and yet how wonderful it made him feel. Dakota had never felt this before, had never felt so alive so full of hope and he tried to glance down, to stare at the cause of his enjoyment but his head was too heavy, his muscles too drained of strength as everything in his body was focused on feeling and nothing else. His heart ached and the pain in his chest was almost as if someone was driving a huge wooden stake into it and yet as the pain grew so too did his enjoyment. He couldn’t even begin to describe the joy that was filling him with each soft touch, with each brush of Noah’s chin against his hard cock, no words existed for how he felt and yet in his very soul he knew that this was just the beginning. A voice echoed in his ears as he struggled to hold on, to try and keep his body from loosing total control.

“Oh God I can’t stand this, it hurts so much and yet… I can’t…”

“Yes you can”

“How? It is unbelievable, is this what you meant? Is it?”

“It is, and it is just as I said, isn’t it?”

“Christ yes, how did you, damn I miss you but… I can’t hold on, I can’t…”

“You can Dakota, trust me, you can and you will”

“Oh shit, it feels so unbelievable…”

Tears were flowing down his face as he felt the soft kiss at the very base of his cock, and he shuddered as his body almost lost it, as the image of his older brother shone in front of his misted eyes and he reached out, to once more try and hold his hand, to once more touch that which he had lost forever and as his hand came up, he felt the hot breath blowing on his cheek, then an even hotter breath came upwards from his groin as Noah’s mouth was raised above the very tip of Dakota’s towering pole. His body shook as he felt the warmth sweet breath blowing down on his fiery cock head, felt it cool the sweat that steamed from it and made his pre cum flow quickly down the 7 ½ inch long pole with increasing speed, most of it evaporating along the white hot pole. His body no longer was his to command as he felt the fires now, felt them flickering at his very skin, melting the thin layer wherever the flames met the mortal flesh.

His outstretched hand came thundering down to hit the wooden floor at the very instant that Noah’s mouth touched the burning tip of his penis. He could feel the sudden brace of tremors that rolled between his body and Noah’s and he cried out loudly, taken prisoner by the sudden touch, the slow careful envelope of his cock head by Noah’s mouth. He could feel the rough edge of Noah’s tongue as it rested on the underside of his cock head; feel the edges of Noah’s white teeth as the lips held tighter and tighter to the sizzling cock head.

Noah could hear the crackle of electricity as he lowered his head onto the hot steaming cock. His whole body shook as the jolt passed into his body and then raced thru every part of him to only come full circle and go back into Dakota’s own body, racing along his veins and coming back as well. His mind was lost as the power of their union became stronger, as now his heart had support from outside of his body and the passion, the desire he felt suddenly felt no boundary, felt no restraint and his tears rolled down his face, the sweat becoming a raging river of water and desire. His hands grew like steel vices as they clenched both of Dakota’s trembling thighs.

He held the two large legs apart, forcing them even wider so he could move unrestricted over the towering organ that now threatened to choke him. His throat grew frightened as he let the first part of the huge cock head past his lips, past his teeth and as his tongue became flattened in the bottom of his own mouth, he felt Dakota’s cries, felt the throb of his heart as the cock head began a slow careful ascent into his mouth. His hands grew tighter, the fingers digging deep into the soft hot flesh, rivers of sweat flowing around his fingers as he held on, willing his throat to obey the aching desire in his soul.

The deep groan coming from all around him only spurred him on and he opened his eyes for a second, his eyelids fluttering as he gazed down along the thick solid pole that seemed to go on forever. He could see the veins of blood sticking out all around the huge 7-½ inch monster that now penetrated his mouth. Noah could see the thick arteries, see the dark blood flowing along the taut flesh that was stretched so far out that it made his heart skip a beat or two while his tongue became further crushed by the slow steady entry of the huge pole. The head itself was not yet fully inside and his throat was already in full panic but his heart refused to stop him, refused to allow him a moment’s peace as it thundered even louder, as it urged him on in a strange and crazy way that only made his body ache for it more, demand it even more.

His body became like steel bands wrapped around a throbbing steel shaft and yet as he continued to force Dakota’s pole into his mouth he could feel nothing but a strange urgent cry for more, a strange demand from his own soul to take the huge throbbing cock deep down into his throat so all of his body could enjoy the taste and feel of it. He shook as he choked back a strange swirling gagging sound and his eyes closed as his heart willed him on, forced him on to the strong steady sound of its beat. His legs grew numb as he lowered his head more, feeling the hard thick flesh sliding slowly into his mouth, forcing his jaw open even wider, making it ache with a dull throbbing pain and yet he refused to stop, refused to deny further entry of this pulsing organ.

He felt the press of his balls up into his cock root, felt the hard press grow even harder as he tried to hold back, desperate to let Noah take what he could but each movement, each inch that slowly entered the waiting mouth only drove him wilder, only made him ache harder as his body was lost to his control. He was under a spell as his mind saw so many images flash past that he couldn’t recognize any of them. He felt the tightening hold of Noah’s lips, felt the iron grip of Noah’s hands deep into his thighs and yet now he could see it all, see the hesitant way Noah had come down the hallway that first day, saw the way Noah had looked the first time Dakota had revealed his body to him, saw the way Noah’s jeans slowly became stained as he stood in Dakota’s presence, all of it came to him clearly now as his hands beat the wood, his body shaking and squirming to the slow steady pressure of Noah’s mouth over his penis.

His eyes saw the terror in Noah’s face when he had undressed, saw the desire even though his fear was trying to hide it and as his vision continued to be inundated by these images, he felt the first tentative lick of Noah’s tongue, the crushed tongue finally trying to add to the moment. His body arched upwards and he felt his cock slide in a few inches more, felt Noah’s throat now touching the tip of his cock head and it was that touch that made him cry out again. It was becoming too much, he knew it, knew that he wouldn’t be able to last, not this way and his hands flayed outwards, banging onto the wooden floor when one finger tapped against a small plastic package.

The feel of the slippery plastic against his outstretched hand drove him wild, his legs shot outwards to either side, pulling away from the centre of his body and forcing more of his blood gorged pole into Noah’s aching mouth. He felt the cock head begin to slide down the gullet, felt his pre cum oozing out in a raging torrent almost, knowing now that his whole body would soon explode, drowning Noah with his milk and yet he struggled, the thin plastic now in the palm of his hand, his fingers wrapped around it making a fist and he struck the floor again and again. The pain from his balls grew as he let the electricity flow unabated thru his body. He felt his buttocks squirm, move along the blanket in a wild gyration, feeling their itch too as he clenched tightly to the condom package in his hand.

Dakota “Noah! Noah take this, hurry, take this”

He heard his voice crying out, heard him calling for Noah and he could feel a strange numbness around his chest and his arms and yet he knew that he had his one hand stretched out far down his body, the condom package in his fingers but he couldn’t feel anything but Noah’s mouth over his cock. He felt the taut throat muscles surround the jerking cock head, felt Noah’s tongue trying to lick at the underside of his cock shaft, and still he managed to cry out, managed to give sound to his own raging desires.

Dakota “Please! God Noah please, take it… take it Noah!”

The sound of his name finally rang inside his head and his eyes opened to see Dakota’s outstretched hand. He saw the condom being held in the fingers, and he felt unsure of what to do. He could taste the hot salty sweet mix of Dakota’s pre cum as it slid down his throat, as it rolled down into his stomach and yet all he could think of was trying to please Dakota, to do what he wanted but what was it? Was he supposed to take the condom, to do what? Was he to put it on Dakota’s throbbing pole first, was that it?

Despite the sudden cry of pain from his throat and his mouth he lifted his head up, letting Dakota’s hot throbbing pole free of his lips and their steel vice like grip. He leaned back not even feeling his weight pressing on his legs as he had long since lost all feeling in them. His mind was confused as it seemed so was his heart, the hesitancy giving rise to the panic once more.

Noah “But… what do I…”

Dakota “Put it on, roll it down, hurry…”

His hands trembled as his body shook. Noah wasn’t sure what to do as he started to reach forward to take the offered condom, wishing that he didn’t have to, wanting to go back to what he had been doing. The taste of Dakota’s pre cum filled his mind and his heart ached, as it desired more of it, wanting all of it. He shook a little as his fingers stretched out and touched the tips of Dakota’s own outstretched fingers. He felt the sudden beat of Dakota’s heart, felt the urgent desire that was pounding now inside not only Dakota’s chest but his too. Noah didn’t want to deny himself the chance to taste Dakota, he felt angry at the gesture even though he would obey it, but first he had to try, to convince Dakota that he really did want it, that he really did want to drink from that tall throbbing pole. He didn’t care what it tasted like, all he knew was that he had to have it, to let all of Dakota’s milk be his, and he struggled to find his voice, to express his own desperate needs.

Noah “I want to taste it, can’t I…”

Dakota “No, not on mine, put it on yours Noah, God hurry, please, put it on yours”

Noah “I …I can’t, I don’t know how to…”

Dakota “Roll it down, hurry Noah, I need you inside of me now, NOW Noah! PLEASE!”

The words didn’t register at first, as he ripped open the thin plastic package and as he thought about one more appeal the words finally made sense to him. His whole body suddenly shook and he felt his cock jerk in a sudden anticipation of what Dakota meant. He looked down at the condom in his hand and then up towards Dakota. Noah saw the twisted desperate look that was etched all over Dakota’s face and he reached down with his hand, placing the soft oily condom over the tip of his cock. He felt the hot pre cum that was oozing out and he hesitated, unsure what to do but then he heard the words again, heard the desire in each syllable and he quickly rolled the thin plastic down his quivering penis. He felt the tips of his fingers digging deep into his own groin as the condom now covered every inch of his own throbbing 6-inch pole. The sudden rush of blood to his groin was making his fingers numb as he looked back up towards Dakota.

He saw the thick oozing pre cum rolling down the swaying pole that glared at him. The purple red angry cock head only seeming to grow thicker and more menacing as he moved inwards, his fear of failure once more rising up to consume him but the sight of that pole, the steady sliding apart of Dakota’s long legs helping to keep the fear at bay, for the moment. He coughed, tasting some of that oozing pre cum that he had managed to have first, and he suddenly found his hand reaching out, gently wiping up the underside of Dakota’s pole, his fingers gathering the heavy thick pre cum. As his fingers moved up the quivering shaft he could feel Dakota’s heart beating, feel the cried coming from Dakota’s soul and he knew that every movement he was making was being watched intently. His body shook as did Dakota’s as he wiped off the head with his finger, a large dollop of thick cream dripping off either side of his two fingers that he quickly brought to his mouth, putting them both deep down inside, till the tips actually touched his own throat. Noah coughed a little as he let his mouth close over his fingers, and then he slowly pulled them out, letting the heavy cream fill his mouth.

“Oh God Noah… please, please I can’t… please, please if you… please”

Dakota’s voice was filled with pain and yet Noah could feel the desire and passion in it too. Each word struck him hard deep inside as he felt the night wind blowing across his wet fingers as he stared down towards Dakota. He saw the pleading look in his rich brown eyes, saw the reflection of his desire deep within those eyes and he felt his own body growing harder, felt the hard thickness of his own penis become even more taut, more aroused as he placed his hand down between Dakota’s spread apart legs. He let his two fingers find the deep valley of love between Dakota’s cheeks and he slowly moved the fingers down until they suddenly stopped, resting on a hot warm hole that quivered to Noah’s touch. His eyes glanced once more at Dakota and as their eyes locked he pushed inwards, his two fingers suddenly digging into the warm wet canal of love, pushing aside the brief feeble protest of the sphincter muscle.

He felt the muscles inside of Dakota eagerly grip at his two fingers that pushed inwards quickly, digging in deep and he turned the two fingers first one way and then another as he saw the shock on Dakota’s face being replaced by a strange look of pure rapture. Noah watched as Dakota’s eyes glazed over briefly and then flared outwards, the deep desire within suddenly leaping forward, demanding more and demanding it now. His body quivered as he pressed his hand in hard, turning the two fingers and then just as quickly as he had inserted them, he pulled them out, feeling the sudden coldness as he began to move his slender body in closer. He felt his hands now pushing Dakota’s legs further apart as he sidled his crotch closer, his own hard throbbing pole aching now, urging him in closer.

Noah wasn’t sure what to do but something seemed to be guiding him as he grabbed hold of his throbbing pole, and his head came up to look down towards Dakota. He saw him biting his lip and he saw the eyes staring upwards, sweat pouring from his body as he became rock hard still. There wasn’t a whisper of a shake or a tremor as Dakota held his body perfectly rigid and Noah glanced down at his trembling hand. He could feel the heat from his penis burning the palm of his hand and he saw the spread apart legs, saw the soft pink-white colour of the inside of Dakota’s cheeks. It was almost like watching himself he thought as he leaned in, pushing the edge of his penis forward until it touched the warm moist cheeks.

His body suddenly recoiled as a giant tremor raced thru his body but Noah held on, his one hand leaning over the upright leg and resting next to Dakota’s hip. His other hand held on tightly to the squirming penis as he pushed it between the two perfect orbs of Dakota’s fleshy cheeks. His body continued to shudder as he guided the hot and suddenly very heavy penis downwards, feeling the strange giddiness of delight as his body continued to pour his blood into the hot throbbing penis. Noah could feel it as it tried to jerk free of his hand but he held on, biting his lower lip now as he concentrated on moving the heavy pole to its proper spot.

It felt like hours had passed before he felt the slight press inwards, the sudden tightening of Dakota’s body as his tight pink hole felt the hot embrace of Noah’s own throbbing pole. Noah’s body suddenly became very still, the tremors now abated as he realized just where he was, where his own shaft of love was now resting. He didn’t quite believe it, almost like he was living in some dream or fantasy world and his eyes grew frightened as they quickly glanced upwards, to stare down the solid body of Dakota. He saw the face, the way Dakota was holding himself so completely rigid as he waited and Noah knew this was no dream, this was for real and he grew frightened, unsure if he was equal to the task ahead, unsure even if he knew what to do or if he did do it, would he do it right or would he hurt the one person who his heart cared about?

All of this passed thru him as he licked his lip, tasting the sweet taste of blood from his lower lip and then he tasted something else. It had a tinge of salt to it and a tinge of something else, something sweet even and in a flash he knew it was Dakota’s pre cum that he had wiped up with his fingers. He could taste it now and the taste grew more intense inside his mouth and his hand slid back a little on his throbbing pole, his hips seemed to suddenly suck in the tops of his buttocks, and he could feel every muscle inside becoming like a steel whip. He took a long deep breath as the sweat dripped down from his forehead, strands of his blonde hair hung over his face as he stared down at Dakota’s waiting body and he became calm, as he heard the soft whisper of the wind swirling gently around them both.

In a deep and slow motion he began to push his hips forward, slowly forcing his throbbing pole to split apart the tiny pink hole that was trying to deny him entry. It didn’t last for more than a second and then Noah felt his body suddenly go faster, felt the resistance disappear as his penis gained entry to Dakota. A wave of heat came racing up the very inside of his penis, rolling faster as it came closer to his beating heart and he could feel it moving, almost as if he was watching it as it came closer and closer to the beating chambers of his heart. He watched amazed as the wave of heat finally hit the beating chambers and his head suddenly flung backwards, the sudden jolt making his whole body shudder as his hips suddenly went flying inwards, crushing hard into the waiting flesh of Dakota’s upraised cheeks.

Noah heard the gutteral sound of his own voice echo in the still of the night as his shaft was suddenly racing inwards, tearing thru the waiting sinewy muscles that lined Dakota’s insides. He felt them reaching out to grab hold of his pulsing penis but nothing could hold him back as a fever of desire took hold of him, guided his body from the wild beating of his heart. It was too much for him as his body continued to shake and he felt his body jerk and then twist to one side, his penis suddenly veering off course to bang hard into the one side of the velvet layered canal that now held his pole. He cried out as he felt the strong muscles grabbing his throbbing pole, squeezing it as it treid to hold onto it but the power of his fever was too much for even Dakota’s well trained muscles.

He crashed thru the resistance, forcing his pole deep down the canal until it was reaching deep into Dakota’s very insides, touching his glands, his muscles, his insides. Nothing was sacred as his body continued to twist and turn, making the hard throbbing pole switch directions constantly. Noah thought he heard a soft whimpering cry coming from Dakota but he couldn’t be sure. The strange sensations that were racing into his body were too much for him, he could barely concentrate on them never mind any other sounds or sights. His head was no longer functioning as wave after wave of new sensations came to him. His heart struggled as it tried to drive the blood faster, desperate to cool Noah’s overheated body. The pain in his groin became unbearable as he felt his whole stomach twist into one giant knot. Every part of his body now screamed out in agony as he continued to twist and turn his hips, gyrating in such different directions that even his back began to protest, the strange twists adding to the unreal feelings that overwhelmed all of his senses.

His nerves rang out in pain and joy all at once. His body seemed like it would just explode from all of the wild new feelings that were pouring in and suddenly he could hear it, hear the beat next to his own heart and he shook his head, large drops of sweat flying in all directions as he couldn’t believe the sound, the unbelievable beat of two hearts next to each other. He could hear them clearly, both of them beating loudly and fast but not apart, not out of unison but together and it only drove him harder. His body suddenly stopped its downward push and in a flash he felt his hips raising upwards, quickly too as his pole was suddenly being sucked out from the clutches of Dakota’s trembling insides.

Just when he thought his body would take his throbbing pole out from the hot tunnel he felt his heart beating faster, felt the same wild beat coming from the other heart that rested next to his and his whole body groaned and shuddered and then went plummeting downwards. His hips shot to one side as he crushed his lower body hard into the waiting upraised flesh, the loud smack of their sudden union echoed but he was oblivious to it all. All of his senses were no longer able to record each and every feeling, each and every tingle and roaring jolt. His body continued to pound deep, dig deep into the hot sticky flesh and all he could think about was that he was doing this, that he was not only doing it but that the person he was doing with was Dakota. He never for a second before this moment ever thought he would be doing this, that Dakota would even consider letting him enter him this way and yet as his hips twisted and turned, as his penis jerked hard to the left and then the right, it was all happening, was all true and he just couldn’t believe it. He could feel it, of that there was no doubt but he still couldn’t accept it as being real, no matter how loud the crash of his body against Dakota’s sweaty flesh sounded.

He could feel the sudden press between his legs just under his cock and he cried out as his body once more lunged downwards, once more crashed hard into the waiting body below. His arms were numb from holding his chest up and yet he couldn’t let them sag, couldn’t let them free from their duty to keep him upright as his body once more came upwards, once more gathering itself for one more ride down into what he could only think of as being heaven. The tight grip the met each thrust, that held his cock head from leaving the hot insides only helped to make him feel this way, to foster further the illusion that he was no longer earthbound. His spirits soared now with the highest flying eagles as his flesh continued to slowly melt away and all he could see was the warm passion that flowed between his heart and Dakota’s own heart. He could hear the joy crying loudly deep within his soul as his body no longer existed to his thoughts.

Every part of his body was now beyond his capacity to understand or control. He could feel the painful joy rising as his blood no longer flowed anywhere but towards his groin and his throbbing pole now once more dove deep inside of Dakota’s waiting body. He could feel the slap of his balls up against his own body, hear the sound but it didn’t register as all he could see was Dakota’s face, the soft lines around the eyes, the worried look inside of those dark rich chocolate coloured orbs and he could see him now, see him crawling inside of his bedroom window that first night and his body shook hard now, the force of his memories and of his passion now rising up even more so as the images played out before him. His fears were gone and instead he felt the itch deep inside of his own rectum, felt the strange emptiness there as his penis dug deep down into the very insides of Dakota’s body. He felt the hard rearing back of his cock head even though it was surrounded by Dakota’s muscles, even though the tough fibres were holding it tightly, he felt it and as he did his eyes closed again, the sight of reality too much for his brain to absorb as his body finally surrendered to the wild insane demand of his passion and of his desires.

His whole body was in a state of complete confusion as the juices streamed out from his exploding penis. It was like he was caught up in the swirling vortex of a tornado, the way he felt his emotions striking at his body, at his very soul even and yet at the same time he could feel his desire only growing, not being sated by the release of his milk. In some ways the pain grew, demanding more from his body than it was capable of and yet in other ways it was like a sudden rush of exhilaration as if he had just climbed the tallest peak of the highest mountain. The thin rarefied air made him choke, gag even as he struggled to breath while his hips ground hard into Dakota’s shivering cheeks and he could feel the bone against his own pelvic bones. He cried out, the tears dropping from his face to splatter among the raging river of sweat that now flowed across Dakota’s shaking stomach.

Nothing he had ever dreamed of, read about, saw had prepared him for the sudden collapse of his entire strength or the giddy feeling that seemed to overcome his mind and limbs. He felt the uncontrollable shaking of his legs, felt it but couldn’t quite understand it as his whole chest shook and his lungs tried to breath in, desperate for oxygen and yet his mouth was wide open, saliva dripping from the corner’s of his mouth as his body continued to buck and jerk as the last remnants of his seed spilled out to coat his 6 inch shaft, rolling down inside its protective covering, but he could feel it, feel it’s heat as it rolled back down the now softening flesh. His mind was in a state of utter shock as his heart continued to beat in a wild insane pattern, rising and then falling and then rising again and he felt the muscles in his arms go soft, weak and then the distance between him and Dakota’s own shaking body was no more. His head was on the heaving chest, hearing the sucking sound of Dakota’s own lungs as it too struggled for air.

He felt his body simply melt into the steamy body underneath him and his arms lay lifeless at his side, barely any feeling left in either the arms, hands or for that matter any other part of his body. Everything, every single part was in a state of utter exhaustion and yet as he lay there panting, his eyes glanced first upwards, staring for a minute at the softening face that was Dakota and then they glanced down the lanky body, down towards where his own belly now rested and he could feel the heat there, feel the hard press of a steel shaft poking next to him and he knew now what he wanted, what he needed now just as what Dakota had seemed to need earlier.

Dakota didn’t even feel the weight of Noah’s body crashing down onto his stomach or the press of his young body against his. All he could do was struggle for air as wild thoughts and weird new feelings flooded his every nerve, his every sense and even as his hand beat the wooden floor hard he could only think of how wonderful it all felt. The tight full feeling that had come the second that Noah had entered his body had suddenly made him feel whole, made him feel alive. The emptiness that he had carried with him all this year suddenly vanished, the hole in his heart suddenly grew smaller and seemed less ominous, less painful but he knew that it would never leave, but that now at least it would become bearable.

He could feel the tears too, the way they seemed to cleanse his sense of guilt, the way they rolled down his face with wild abandon and each time they dripped from his eyes he could feel the pounding of Noah’s heart next to his, could feel the unconditional love that welled up from deep inside of Noah’s body and passed deep into his own body. He felt it all as he lay there, as his body arched up to meet each downward thrust, as his hips kept his buttocks raised up to greet the throbbing pole that kept filling him with the love and passion that Noah had for him. He cried because he had never had someone love him this way, never had someone other than Montana care enough for him to want him in any way, without condition, without terms.

Montana had been right, this was love, this was something special that he couldn’t help but know it and Dakota was no longer afraid that he’d miss the signs. There was no mistaking the joy that filled him with each hard entry of Noah’s pole, there was no mistaking the warmth that came with each hard thrust of Noah’s young body into his, and as his tears flowed he knew that this would not end, that this strange joy would continue long after Noah had departed home until the next time they would meet. He knew that each second that they were apart would feel like an eternity and yet in his heart he knew that any separation would only be momentary because they were meant to be together, the beat of Noah’s own heart, the words of Noah’s own soul to his confirmed that as his body shook and quivered to the love that was being fed to him by Noah.

Even as Noah’s body slowly ended its wild gyrations, even as Noah’s body slowly collapsed in complete exhaustion, Dakota knew that this was not an end, that it was only a prelude to a continuing roller coaster ride of emotional highs. His body ached now but not from desire but from satisfaction, a sense of well being that he had never in his young life ever felt before and he glanced down, to see the tussled wet hair of Noah splattered across his chest. He could see the head shaking as Noah lay on top of him, his own heart beating wildly still and yet as he stared down at him he felt a sense of something more to come, something else that would only continue to prove to them both that this was right, that this was as it should be as it was meant to be.

Noah felt Dakota’s eyes peering at him as he continued to stare down at the hard lump that rested next to his quivering hip. He stared at the large pole that was still filled with blood, still looking huge to his eyes but in a new way, a strange new way that only increased the desire deep inside of him. All those strange new feelings continued to swirl around him as he stared at the silent throbbing pole, saw the slow oozing of Dakota’s pre cum as it pooled now around the tip of the cock head. It was like they were in a the eye of a hurricane as he finally turned his attention away from the thick pulsing pole and focused his misted eyes towards Dakota’s face.

They stared at each other, neither able to quite speak but Noah could feel the tremendous love that was passing between them both and he knew that this was his destiny, that he didn’t need to worry about tomorrow or the next day, he had found the one person that would matter to him, the one person who would make his very existence worthwhile. He felt the sheer joy of such a discovery so early in life and despite his young years, despite his inexperience, he knew that this was love, the real stuff that he had read about in books. Only trouble was, what he had read didn’t come close to describing how good it felt as he kept his eyes on Dakota’s face and then kissed the warm hot stomach, tasting the salty sweat, his eyes not leaving the deep rich chocolate orbs of his love.

“It’s my turn now…”

Dakota stared at Noah, hearing his soft voice, as he looked hard into Noah’s eyes. He saw the swirling mists inside, felt the desire and he reached out, grabbing another package that he had laid out earlier and he passed it down his still sweat soaked body towards Noah’s outstretched hand. As the condom passed from his hand to Noah’s he felt the stirring inside his heart once more, felt the love that had calmed down a little growing more turbulent, more alive again and his face smiled with adoration as the condom passed out of his grasp.

 

Chapter 6

Saturday

8:21 p.m.

Dinner had been strange; different in a way he just couldn’t put his finger on. Every time he’d look over at Dakota he got this feeling that everyone else at the table was noticing and then like the perfect dufus he had to have a choking spell, that sure was a hit with Dakota’s mom who seemed so distant, so strange really. He couldn’t quite say why, but he was sure she kept looking at him as if to see if he was good enough for her son and yet at other times it was like she was feeling angry with him, upset that he was even sitting at their table.

It certainly wasn’t a dinner like he was used to. At his place his folks would talk, laugh, tell and ask things of him and each other, sort of like they were catching up or something, but Dakota’s folks seemed different. It was more like they were only there to fuel up, not to check up or anything. It was kind of weird for him and even Arizona was quiet which he didn’t think was possible and yet, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it but it didn’t just seem because he was there, that somehow this was normal for them.

Noah had tried to offer to help with the dishes but both Arizona and Rosalie, Dakota’s mother, refused his offer quickly. In fact he sort of felt like she really didn’t even want him there and he noticed a strange glance between her and Dakota as well which only made him feel more out of place. He really didn’t understand it but somehow it didn’t seem to matter much, as each time he would steal a glance at Dakota he would feel the strange glow in his body flare up. It was like he wanted to just reach across the table and grab Dakota and kiss him, and he could feel the desire inside, feel it burning into his body with each stolen look, each covert glance.

Everything seemed so sad really and he couldn’t help but notice at times how Rosalie would look at both Arizona and Dakota, as if she was about to cry or something and he wondered what it was that made the place seem comfortable, but so sad, so empty really even though people were there. It was like no one wanted to talk and yet they were desperate to do just that. He couldn’t figure it out but what he did notice was that every now and then, everyone stole glances at him and Dakota, as if they knew which worried him. He had figured out that Arizona knew about her brother, but did his family know too?

That really was freaking him out because he couldn’t even begin to imagine what his own parents would feel if they knew how much he ached for another boy, and he doubted if either of them would accept it the way it appeared Dakota’s had or were. Maybe he was just being silly but he couldn’t get it out of his head as he waited for Dakota out on the front porch that somehow his mother at least had a suspicion that he was queer, but if she did, why hadn’t she said anything?

He wished at times he could just sit down with them and tell them, that maybe if he could just share how he was feeling that maybe it would be easier, that maybe he could get through another day just a bit easier, but he doubted if his parents would understand. He had heard his father talk about it, about how gays were sick or perverted, and his mother had agreed too and for a bit he had wondered if that was it, that maybe it was some disease or something that he could get help for, that he could take a pill for but inside, deep down he knew it wasn’t that way at all. Hell, he had proven that by the way he wanted Dakota so much, how he couldn’t even begin to control the strange emotions that ran thru him each time he thought about Dakota inside of him.

Sitting there he squirmed a bit, as he could really still feel that first press against his butt, that first jab of pain that went up his whole body as Dakota tried to enter him and he felt the searing pain even now but it was just a memory, not real and he tried to hold it back, tears near threatening to break free and roll down his face as he realized that he had held back, that he had whimped out. How could he have been so stupid, so dumb as to not know it would hurt and instead of taking it for a moment he had ran, and now he was feeling like this whole weekend was going to wind up with him once more being alone, despite all that Dakota had said.

How could he still want him after Noah failed him like that? Could they have sensed that and that was why dinner was so quiet? Had they somehow seen his failure to please written on Dakota’s face or his own? He shook a little sitting there, wondering why it was that he just couldn’t do things right, that every time he tried to be who he was he failed? Even his attempt at being a part of the school had failed when he joined the drama club, and that whole mess in wearing the dress had only embarrassed his father, and sitting there he could still hear his father’s voice, telling him that he shouldn’t be surprised at the writing on his locker, after all he did dress up in a dress, and that was what happened to kids who did that kind of stuff. He could still hear his father telling him he should have tried out for some sports instead, at least then when he failed it wouldn’t be so bad.

It irked him too, as he replayed that conversation in his mind that his father already had chalked him up to being unable to play sports that he would fail but that at least he wouldn’t have been branded queer like he had been for doing the drama play. Shit, what did he really expect from him? It wasn’t like he was gifted with a great body like Dakota or Rusty, yet his father kept at him to try, to be something he wasn’t. He shook his head, knowing that his father would never understand if he did tell him, but how could he keep it hidden? How could he keep his feelings hidden for so long, especially the way they seemed to be only getting more intense, more controlling?

If anything he was feeling more alone now than before Dakota had shown up at his place that first night, and yet something inside kept telling him that things would change, that he couldn’t just sit back and stew about stuff. He wondered if he’d ever have the courage to speak up, to say how he really felt when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned quickly to stare up to find Dakota’s mother looking down at him. He felt an icy fear inside, thinking that she was going to send him home or worse, tell him he couldn’t see Dakota anymore.

He felt the tears welling up even before she spoke but the way her eyes looked at him kept the tears from falling, kept his heart from stopping as he waited, just looking up into her face. Noah could see the pain inside and once more the thought that she was going to stop him and Dakota came to mind, but there was something about her, something that held his fear at bay, kept it from overwhelming him as she smiled a thin weak smile, her hands looking rough as it rested on his trembling body.

Rosalie “Mind if I sit with you? Dakota won’t be much longer”

Noah “Uh, sure, uh, thanks again for dinner, it was really good”

Rosalie “Arizona made a special effort, she seems to like you a lot”

Noah “Uh, I like her too”

Rosalie “Yes, but not as much as you like my son, huh?”

He felt the panic inside and he didn’t know what to do or say. He looked down at his hands, resting in his lap and he wondered if all mothers knew this stuff, or was he sending off some signal, some sign that he was in love with Dakota? Christ if he was, did that mean his own mother knew? He could feel the eyes staring at him, waiting for him to answer and he had a small lump in his throat as he croaked out his answer.

Noah “Yes, I really do like Dakota… uh, he’s been nice to me…”

Rosalie “He’s a good boy, I think he likes you too, you are the first boy he’s ever brought home, did he tell you that?”

Noah “The first? Uh, no, no he didn’t”

Rosalie “Yes, he doesn’t usually talk much, but all week he kept telling us about you, I have never really seen him so happy in a long time”

Noah wasn’t sure how to answer that nor if he could even. It was all so strange to listen to her soft voice, almost as if she was tired and yet it was different too, like she was saying one thing but was thinking about something else. He stared at her, seeing the eyes glisten a little and he realized that she had tears in her eyes. He couldn’t understand it as he saw the pain once more showing through but he didn’t feel the fear this time. It was as if she was talking to him but not really, like her mind was elsewhere and she was just stalling, like maybe she wanted to say more but didn’t know how or maybe even what.

The idea that Dakota had been talking about him all week made him feel warm inside too, and it was a glimpse into something he wished he knew more about. Suddenly he felt at ease, almost as if the fear had vanished but he knew it was still there, just that the whole idea of Dakota thinking about him all week was just too much for it. He felt kind of pleased too, and his mind was off on a dream even though it was still wondering what Rosalie wanted from him. Was she maybe trying to see if he cared for Dakota the same way he cared for him? Could it be that or was there something else and he saw her hesitation too, the way she would quickly glance at him and then turn away to stare out from the house. He too turned to stare out, seeing the nights sky grow darker, seeing the first sign of stars glittering and he felt strangely quiet as he sat there with her.

Noah “I really like him, I have never felt this way about someone, it is scary”

He didn’t know why he said it or even if she heard him because she didn’t say anything right away, she just kept staring out at the field and the sky. For a minute or two he wondered if he should say it again but he kept silent, staring out at the sky himself, wondering if she would understand how he felt, if she would object or support how he felt?

Rosalie “I suppose it can be, you do use condoms, don’t you Noah?”

His whole body suddenly grew taut and he felt his heart skip a beat as she asked him, and he felt the sweat start on his forehead as he could feel her eyes on him now. He knew she was staring at him but even though they did use condoms, it still was strange to discuss it with an adult, worse to discus it with Dakota’s mother.

Noah “Yes… he insisted, uh… I mean…”

Rosalie “Good, this, all this is still strange to us Noah, but, you both are so young, it is hard for me or Dakota’s father to quite believe it is how he says, but, he is our only son left, so I want your solemn promise Noah, never, I mean this, never let yourself get too carried away that you or he forget to use condoms, please… will you do that for me? For Dakota?”

There was something in her voice that finally made him summon up the strength to turn and look at her. He saw the pain but he saw something else too, and he wasn’t sure but he thought he saw fear, real fear in her face and it frightened him a little as he felt her take his hand into hers. He could feel her searching his eyes, staring deeply into them and he knew that she meant what she was saying, that somehow they maybe weren’t thrilled about Dakota bringing him home but they cared so much for him that that didn’t matter, as long as he and Dakota were safe.

Noah “Of course, I mean, yes…”

They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds and to Noah it seemed like hours had to have passed, the look was so intense and he could almost believe that she was searching his heart and soul to make sure he was telling her the truth. He had never felt so naked as he did in that second and yet his mind seemed to think he should be frightened but his heart kept telling him there was nothing to fear because he had spoken the truth. He stared back, letting her see his own feelings, feelings that even he hadn’t quite yet focused on or understood but somehow it was like she could read them, could understand them. He waited, his heart pounding or so it seemed but the fear was held back.

She patted his hand, feeling his nervousness and knowing inside that he was frightened of her and of the conversation but she had to do it, she had to know just what kind of boy her son had brought home. The whole day had been unreal to her not to mention the conversation she had with this boy’s mother. How would he react if he knew that his mother had come to her, had sought her out to find out if her son was who she thought he was? Would he bolt or would he face it? Looking into his eyes she knew that he might want to run, but that he wasn’t a coward, that he had more courage inside than maybe he realized but run he wouldn’t do. It gave her some hope too because she knew that ever since Montana had passed away that Dakota had been slipping away, that he had become withdrawn from them all and only this last week had he come close to being the boy she had always thought of. Noah had done that, she could see it now and she silently prayed that it would last, wondering what it was that had made God test them so much?

Her heart was heavy as she thought back to the first news, to that first explosive announcement that had so taken them aback and changed their lives forever. Inside she felt the loss growing and yet as she sat there, as she heard Dakota in the house, she knew that as much as she missed her eldest boy, she would never be without him. He lived on in her other children, in Arizona and in Dakota and maybe in some ways, all that she had gone through had a purpose, what she wasn’t certain but after talking to Noah’s mother, she knew that somehow there was a reason.

Rosalie “Good, I knew you would, and Noah?”

Noah “Yes?”

Rosalie “Don’t be afraid to talk, either to Dakota or me if you need to, okay?”

Noah “Okay”

Rosalie “Good, now I understand you boys are going star gazing, don’t forget your jacket, it gets chilly out there, and Noah… remember your promise”

Looking into her eyes he could see that she meant what she had said. He saw the love in there, behind the wall of pain that seemed ever so present around the whole family and he wondered for a moment about it, not sure what to do or say but he knew that at least she wasn’t against him, and that counted for something. He felt a bit easier about it too, remembering how she had told him that Dakota had been talking about him. In a way he didn’t feel so bad now and he felt a sense of hope, that maybe they could get past his fear and his stupidity from earlier, least he was hoping so when he saw Dakota standing at the door, Noah’s jacket and backpack in his hands.

Dakota “Promise what?”

Rosalie “To go easy on you of course”

Dakota “MOM!”

Rosalie “Yes dear?”

Dakota glanced at Noah and saw a small smile curling around his lips. For a brief moment he wished he could just reach out and kiss him but he couldn’t, well at least he didn’t think he could. He saw the sparkle in his mother’s eyes too and wondered what she had made Noah promise and somehow, he knew that Noah would tell him once they left the house. He kind of had an idea anyhow, his father had already stopped him inside and asked him if he was using protection, and he could see the worry in the man’s tired face. His heart had cried out, as he knew that his father wasn’t comfortable with this whole gay stuff but he also knew that he loved him. He wished things had been different, and he knew too that it was weighing on both of his parents just as it was on him too. Damn he missed Montana but there was nothing he could do about that, and that hurt as much as knowing that his parents were worried about him. It was the last thing he wanted, to add to their worry because he knew how much Montana being sick had cost them.

Dakota “Noah isn’t that type”

Noah “Oh I don’t know, I might surprise you”

Dakota and Rosalie both looked at Noah, a sort of amazement on both their faces as they realized that he was saying one thing, but meaning another. Rosalie had a small smile on her face and for the first time since Dakota had mentioned Noah, she felt a bit easier in her heart about it. She was so worried that he would make a mistake like Montana had, that she had thought about not allowing this weekend, but the look on Dakota’s face, the way it actually shone when he had been speaking about Noah, she couldn’t deny him and it had caused a few tense moments between her and her husband, Gary. In the end they had both agreed to at least meet Noah and take it from there and now, now she felt that maybe it was a good choice. Noah was certainly not what they had expected and then too, neither had his mother been. She still had to figure out how to cope with that and as she watched the two boys head off from the porch, she realized that she and Gary would have to have another of those talks.

She sighed a little, feeling the pressure a bit, knowing that her life had one more complication in it, and that being the mother of a gay teenager was even harder than even she had thought. Her heart was heavy as she glanced heaven wards, wondering if Montana was at least at peace when she felt a tug around her waist and looked down at Arizona’s face.

Arizona “It’ll be okay momma, Noah is nice and he really does like Dakota”

She reached down and patted Arizona’s head and smiled at her. She too had felt Montana’s loss deeply but she adored her remaining brother and besides, she was a pretty good judge of characters too. Her heart felt a bit easier as she glanced back to see the two boys disappear into the gathering dusk, knowing that it would be some time before they returned. She took Arizona by the hand and went back inside, seeing her husband waiting, seeing the concern on his face and she realized that as much as he didn’t still understand the whole gay issue, he loved his children which allowed him to move beyond. He was worried as she ran her hand down his face, smiling at him and together the three of them moved to the sofa to sit down and watch some television, their youngest between them and yet as they sat there, they could feel each other’s fears, doubts and yet for the first time in a long time there was also a sense of peace between them, something they had so desperately been seeking.

11:02 p.m.

Noah stared up at the sky, seeing the small brilliant blue white sparkles of the stars as he lay on the wooden floor. They had walked for almost a half hour through the field until a large tree had loomed up in the horizon. Slowly Dakota had guided them to it and once there Noah could see that it was not only a tall solid old tree but that there were wooden rungs running up its thick trunk. He stared at it a bit frightened because he wasn’t good with heights, but with some gentle urging from Dakota he made the climb up the tree.

He had taken each rung carefully, feeling Dakota right below him with each step, Dakota’s upper body resting lightly against his own shaking lower body. In some ways it was rather exciting too, which helped to contain his fear enough so that he could make the climb. Noah came up onto a rather firm wooden platform and as he crawled onto it, waiting for Dakota to join him he looked around, seeing a well laid out hide away.

Near the trunk was a large box, a small Styrofoam cooler and three rolled up old army sleeping bags. There also was a large metal plate with the stub of a candle dead centre and as he looked out, he could see the house they had come from, the warm lights showing the way back and as he turned around, he saw the endless sky open up before him. At the edge of the platform was a small telescope and it was aimed high up into the heavens.

They really hadn’t spoken much, Dakota lost in his own thoughts or so it seemed to Noah, and he was grateful in a way too, after all how did you tell the guy you loved that his mother wanted to make sure you used condoms? He didn’t quite understand why the whole family seemed so concerned about condoms, first Dakota when he came over that night, now his mother but he shrugged it off, after all it did make sense, still, the idea of feeling Dakota inside him, his bare pole running in and out against his insides did have a certain appeal to him, if he could just get past its size.

Noah could still feel a sort of dull ache in his butt and sometimes, as he walked or especially when he was climbing those rungs, he felt a strange tenderness inside, a sort of dull throb and part of it was from Dakota, but he also thought that part of it was that he still wanted it, still wanted to feel Dakota deep inside of him. He couldn’t quite explain it, because he could remember that tearing pain still and it was like his body was fighting, part wanting Dakota inside the other part not wanting the pain that came with it. Maybe there was another way? Maybe there was a different position or something, least Dakota made it seem like there was, which at least gave him some hope. Only trouble was, what if he couldn’t take it? No matter how or which way Dakota tried, what if he just couldn’t handle the pain would that end it for them? Would Dakota stop wanting to be with him or would it not make any difference?

Sitting there staring up at the sky, he knew that this wasn’t exactly how it went when he had dreamed about this time, about being with someone like Dakota. Reality was a lot different and he sat there, confused by what he had thought it would be like and what it had been like. He knew he cared for Dakota, that there was something about the way he felt each time his eyes would lock onto Dakota’s that made his heart skip a few beats as well, and yet it wasn’t quite how he had dreamed it. He never had thought about that pain for instance, and he hadn’t thought either of the need for protection and how it seemed so difficult to keep in mind, to have to take the time to use it, and he wondered if he could keep it hard enough, would he suddenly go limp because of it? What about Dakota, how did he manage to keep that weapon of his so hard and still take the time to slip that plastic cover on? Was it something you got by doing it often or what? So much to think about and yet despite all those thoughts, the primary thought still seemed to be his fear of failing Dakota.

In some ways he thought that maybe Dakota felt that way too, that maybe Dakota was just as scared, just as uncertain and yet he seemed so confident, so casual in how he had done it all, planning to have the condom in reach, planning even the time when to go for it, which wasn’t how Noah thought love making was. He always believed it was a sudden burst of desire and not something you just planned, or was it like the boy scouts, just a matter of being ready, being prepared? He shook his head a little, staring back around at the simple little tree house and he wondered if Dakota had ever done it up here with others, or was that why they were even here? Could Dakota have brought him up here so he could tell him that they could just be friends, or worse?

Dakota “My brother died of aids, did you know that?”

Noah hadn’t even noticed that Dakota had moved up to sit beside him. Both of them had their feet dangling off the edge of the platform. He turned to stare at the boy that had stolen his heart and he felt frightened as he saw the sadness written all over Dakota’s face. Noah wasn’t sure what to say, as he stared at the trembling lower lip of his friend, wondering why Dakota was saying this to him, and for a brief moment he thought about AIDS and what it meant, and his mind recoiled, wanting him to shift his body away, to move away so he wouldn’t be close to Dakota, frightened that perhaps Dakota also had it, that it might rub off on him too. His heart ached as it battled the unreasonable fear that welled up inside of him, his eyes growing wide as they sought out signs, wondering if there was something he had missed that would tell him if Dakota was also infected, also doomed.

Noah “I am sorry, I uh, I mean… it must have been hard”

He didn’t look at Noah, afraid to really as he could feel the fear reaching out, could feel the revulsion coming from Noah and he sighed, knowing that maybe he had been wrong in thinking that Noah would be different, in thinking that maybe he did have a chance at something other than a fleeting memory of what love, of what caring for someone else could mean. Maybe he should just take him home, letting his own dreams pass because he could feel the fear growing, hearing it in each word that Noah hesitantly spoke.

Dakota “You know, you don’t really die from AIDS, it’s from the other stuff, still… I think you would have liked him, I know he would have liked you, but… anyhow, that’s why you got the condom quiz from mom”

Noah “The condom, I mean, how did you…”

Dakota “They mean well, I guess its their way of trying to show, I mean… they don’t want to go through it again… least, well… you know.”

Part of him wanted to reach out, to put his arms around Dakota as he stared at him, saw the way his head was bend down, the way his eyes were misted over with threatening tears and yet all he could do was sit there, his hands in his lap, his fingers twitching a little as his own fear took hold keeping him from doing what his heart ached for him to do. Noah didn’t know what to say but at least he understood now why Dakota’s mom had made him promise, and why Dakota had freaked so much that first time. Still, why hadn’t he told him this before, why now? Was there more to tell? His heart grew still as he thought about it, wondering if the worse was yet to come, knowing that he was frightened now, scared that maybe even what they had done so far had given it to him too, and so he sat there, scared and confused, unsure of what to do or say.

Noah “I suppose, uh, why, uh, why didn’t you…”

Dakota “Tell you sooner?”

Noah “Yeah”

Dakota “I don’t know, guess I was scared you’d freak, that you’d maybe not want to get close to me, I am negative if you are wondering”

Noah “Negative?”

Dakota “Yeah, HIV negative”

Noah “How do you, I mean…”

Dakota “Took the test, hell every six months I take the test, ever since… ever since Montana told me, took my last one Tuesday… the results came back yesterday… so no I don’t have it, least not yet”

The relief he felt vanished as quickly as it had come. Noah stared out at Dakota, saw the tear near one corner of Dakota’s face slowly trickling down from the eye, slowly rolling down the pale face and he felt the pain inside, wondering where all this was leading to? His body shook a little as he realized that Dakota was afraid of him, that he was scared to look at him and as much as he felt confused and frightened himself, he realized that Dakota did care for him, that he was telling him this because he did care, that this wasn’t some way to push him away. His body shook a little as he reached out slowly, letting his one hand lightly touch Dakota’s knee, his eyes staring at his fingers resting on the faded jeans.

Dakota felt the soft touch, the hesitant brush against his knee and his face turned slowly, to stare down at the small hand resting just above the kneecap. He saw the fingers shaking a little as they rested barely on his leg, almost as if they were ready to fly off the second danger approached, and he could feel Noah’s fear but more than that he could smell it too. It was the same fear he had had when Montana had told him. Would Noah run, would he disappear from his life or would he stay and see it thru, and he stared at the hand and knew that he’d only find out by looking, so slowly his face lifted up, to find Noah’s.

Noah “What do you mean, not yet? If you don’t, I mean, I…”

He saw the confusion in Noah’s face, saw the fear and dread too in his eyes and as he heard the words he knew that he would have to tell him, that for some reason it had become important to him to let Noah know everything, to tell him the truth about who he was, what he was, and what he had done. Maybe, just maybe Noah would understand though he doubted it. He had never told anyone and yet the instant he had seen Noah, the very second he had seen him walking down the hallway towards the locker he thought maybe, that just maybe Noah was indeed the one person he could trust, he could love.

Dakota “I made love to Montana… before I knew, and…”

Noah’s eyes widened as he heard the words, a strange fear reaching for his heart as the ‘and’ hung in the air, as if to tell him more and he felt angry for a moment then frightened, wondering just how could Dakota have done it.

Noah “And? And what… you had sex with your brother after? I mean… You?”

Dakota “No, we didn’t have sex, I made love to him, here, on this platform, just before… just before he… “

Noah ‘He died? How… I mean… fuck how could you…”

There was no mistaking the anger or the disbelief in Noah’s face. He didn’t know why he had blurted it out, why he had to try and make Noah understand, but he had to, at least his heart seemed to tell him. There was so much he wanted to say, to explain and yet in some ways he didn’t think he should have to. It wasn’t that he was ashamed either, Montana was special to him, Montana had done things for him and protected him too, he owed him that and more, and all he had ever wanted had been taken from him, until now. Now he thought there might be a chance at what he and Montana had talked about, had dreamed about and yearned for. It was too late for Montana, AIDS had seen to that, but maybe there was a chance for him, but looking at Noah’s face his hope seemed to quiver, seemed to fade as he saw the shock registering across Noah’s face.

How do you explain something that you yourself don’t quite understand? What he and Montana had done, it wasn’t sex, not like everyone thought and it wasn’t like either of them had forced it, it was something that, well that happened at a time when they both needed that intimacy, that special connection that being together in that way brought them both. How could he tell Noah about it when he still didn’t quite know what it was that they had shared? He knew one thing, that what he felt for Montana then, and still, wasn’t the same as what he was feeling for Noah, but how could he explain it? How?

Dakota “I had to Noah, he was so, he needed to know I loved him, I knew you wouldn’t understand, but I had to do it, you can’t imagine how it felt… he was so afraid, so… I just had to is all”

Noah “But how could you? He had aids…. you could get it now, didn’t you, how could you?”

Dakota “He was my brother, I loved him, he needed me, I couldn’t let him die without knowing… I am sorry, I guess you just don’t, I guess you… I am sorry”

First he couldn’t take Dakota inside, now he was finding out that Dakota had done it not only with his brother, but that his brother had AIDS too, and he just didn’t know what to do. Part of him wanted to run, to just scamper down the tree and run as far away as his legs could take him. His mind kept telling him to leave, to run to escape but something held him, kept him from giving in to the panic that was raging inside of him.

He couldn’t even look at him, afraid that if he did he would grow to hate looking at Dakota’s face, at the vision he had of him inside and yet he felt himself being drawn to him, as if some strange force was taking hold, orchestrating it all and he hated it, wishing he could have just stayed safe in his nice little empty world. That was what he really wanted, because all this was so hard, so tough to understand. His heart ached though as he listened to Dakota’s voice, hearing the pain in it as well as the defiance and something inside wanted him to listen, wanted him to try to understand what could have possessed Dakota that way, or his brother for that matter. How could he have let Dakota do that if he really loved him?

Noah “No I don’t understand, how could you?”

Dakota “Don’t you think I knew that? Fuck… It happened because… because I loved him, I still do, maybe not the same way I care or love you, but it was just as powerful, just as important…”

Noah “You love me?”

Dakota “Yes I do, I don’t know why, but that first moment I saw you… it was like Montana had said it would be, I am sorry Noah, I didn’t want to hurt you, I am so sorry”

Strange how hearing that word, that simple little word could stop his anger, his disbelief so quickly. His heart seemed to suddenly pound faster as it took that word and felt it, felt the truth behind it too and his eyes misted as he tried to make sense of it all. Just for a brief moment he felt the warmth inside of him, that same warmth he always began to feel when thinking of Dakota and he didn’t know how to react now, what to say even as his face grew flushed and his eyes looked downwards at his hands.

Noah “He told you? I don’t… you really love me?”

Dakota “Yes, why do you think I am telling you all this?”

Noah “I don’t know, I guess…”

Dakota “It has to be love, I have never told anyone this, but for all those months that he was sick, fighting one illness after another, no one touching him, holding him or even just hugging him because they were all scared of catching it, the way his eyes looked each time I or anyone would walk in, the hope inside slowly getting less as we stood by, our hands always at our sides. Don’t you see? He thought we didn’t love him anymore, and all the words, they were just words, I had to show him, to prove to him that I at least still loved him, and it was the only way I could, the only way Noah, I only wish I hadn’t waited so long, I only wish I had always come in, hugged him each time, kissed him even, because now I can’t, I can’t touch him, hold him, don’t you see? At least I showed him before it was too late, can’t you understand that?”

Noah “But to have sex with him? He was your brother for Christ’s sake”

Why couldn’t Noah see it? It wasn’t sex, sex was just a way to get off, to shoot your load, what he and Montana had was more than that, it was being together in a way that maybe, even for those brief seconds when they were one person, one heart beating together, that they shared something more, they shared their thoughts, their dreams. It wasn’t about getting off, hell he couldn’t even remember if he did cum or not, all he could remember was how scared Montana had been and then how calm he became after, how he managed that smile a few more times, how his eyes didn’t look so frightened, so empty. That was what he remembered, not how his dick felt or even how Montana’s had felt. That wasn’t sex, couldn’t Noah understand that?

Dakota “It wasn’t sex, it was love”

Noah “Yeah right”

Noah had heard the angry lilt in Dakota’s voice but had ignored it, failing to recognize it before he spoke and yet now, after his sarcasms had been voiced he felt a chill inside, a sort of signal really and once more his eyes were drawn to Dakota’s face. He could see the flash of anger there, feel it even as he saw the way Dakota suddenly seemed to gain strength, to tower up in fact even though his body didn’t move. It was how he held himself, the way his shoulders became squared off, his eyes sparkling with defiance and his lips pressed tighter together as he answered him. He saw it all and felt a strange sense of awe creeping into him, and he also felt shame too, because as much as the whole idea of Dakota doing it with his older brother troubled him, it also made him feel a strange sense of pride too.

His mind was still reeling from the idea and yet deep inside the small voice kept hammering at him, forcing him to think, forcing him to listen and to look deep into Dakota’s face. The defiance in Dakota’s face wasn’t just that, it was also in a way a sort of pride, a sort of sign that Dakota was saying this is who I am, this is what I am about and it confused Noah, because in many ways it was also telling him that this is what he expected from Noah too and he didn’t know if he could meet that expectation, if he could rise to that standard that Dakota seemed to have.

Dakota “Yeah right it was, just like what you and me did, that wasn’t sex, least not to me, if it was just sex I was into I sure as fuck wouldn’t have stopped when you said it hurt…”

Noah “That is different”

Dakota “Why? Just cause you aren’t my brother or cousin? I showed him that he was special to me, just like he showed me a few years earlier, when I needed to know that someone out there cared… you have no idea how it can feel to be, to be this way”

Noah “I don’t know? Fucking hell I don’t! If I don’t know, how come I have never, well, you know…”

Dakota “It’s different for you, no one is pushing you to be something you aren’t, everyone in school isn’t after your ass cause you are some hot shot jock”

There was anger in his voice as he spoke up. How could Dakota be this way, think that he had it so bad? Christ the guy had it all, had the looks, the charm, the abilities and he though that he, Noah, had it easier? Shit, what did he know about going thru life having few friends, seeing everyone else have fun and go to parties while he sat at home watching television? The fire inside was hot, as he spoke up, unsure why Dakota couldn’t see what everyone else saw about him.

Noah “True, I am not drop dead gorgeous like you, but uh, you did notice my locker didn’t you? Doubt if you ever had that”

Dakota “I am not drop dead gorgeous… fuck I wish I was”

Noah “Shit go look in a mirror man, you are hot, that’s why the girls chase you, its why guys like me pinch themselves when you talk to us”

Dakota “Pinch yourself?”

Noah “Yeah, to make sure it isn’t just a part of the dream man”

Dakota “Dream? Is that what I am?”

Noah “No, well, yes in a way, shit Dakota you have it all, you are good in sports which is one thing, but you have the looks too, shit, you walk into a room and people know you are there, they sense you, you are what everyone wishes they could be”

Dakota “I doubt that”

Noah “It’s true, shit you have the looks, the eyes, the hair, everything, even the way you walk, talk, don’t you think you do? I mean… you have to know”

The words sounded good but he didn’t believe them and yet a part of him wanted to and maybe even a small part did. After all it was what Montana had told him too but it was just that he couldn’t see it. All he saw in the mirror was some kid who wanted something that everyone else had, something that he couldn’t have because what he wanted was a partner, someone to share not just his body with but his thoughts with, and while everyone else could have that, he couldn’t because his ideal partner wasn’t female, it was another guy. How could he be special, be hot like Noah said if his dream was to just be with someone, if what he really wanted was only a fantasy?

Dakota “No, no I don’t, but, that is why you want me? Because I have the ‘look’ or something?”

Noah “I guess, in a way yeah, but I don’t know, there is more too, I mean I have seen hot guys before, hell Rusty is one, but you, you are different, least for me you are”

Dakota “Yeah, different how?”

Noah “I don’t know, all I know is that when I think of you I want to cum, I get hard, I get scared too, I want to make you like me so much I don’t know what I mean anymore”

Dakota “So its sex for you? Is that what it is?”

They had been together naked, touched each other in places where no other guy had touched him, had kissed and hugged and as he heard the accusation, he realized that here he was, still a virgin really and here was this super hot stud, and even though he had failed to give Dakota the sex, the guy still was fighting for him, still wanted him. Noah knew he had disappointed Dakota by not being able to take it, by whimping out and yet, did he really know that?

Staring at Dakota, seeing the pain in his face as he had said the words, as he had thought that all Noah had wanted from him was sex showed him that maybe his own fears were wrong, that maybe all of his concern over trying to please Dakota was just his imagination of what Dakota had wanted? Could it really be that Dakota did want more than just a fuck boy? Did he want to be more than that to Dakota?

Noah “No, I mean, in one way it is, to think of losing my virginity to a guy like you, fuck that’s a dream come true, but I want more than that too, so no it isn’t about the sex, it’s like, I don’t know, when I look at you, touch you, it is like I am real and not some stupid fag, some geek that everyone picks on, it is like, well, like I matter…”

Dakota “Now you know why what Montana and I did wasn’t sex, it was love, least what I think love is, he made me feel special Noah, he made me feel like I wasn’t just some fag, some slime, he made me realize that who I was was special to him, at least I had that, can’t you see? I couldn’t let him die without showing him the same love, letting him know that he had made a difference, that he too wasn’t just a dumb fag, that he was special”

Noah “But you risked your life, you could… I mean…”

Dakota “I’d have done it bareback if he would have asked, he was the only one who ever really loved me Noah, least he was until… I mean, well…”

Noah “Until what?”

Dakota “Until I saw you, I never… I mean, until I met you, I didn’t think I could ever love anyone, that when Montana died, my life had died too, even if I could still walk and stuff, it was like there wasn’t any purpose, any reason… but seeing you, I don’t know, guess its why I showed up at your place, it was like suddenly life didn’t seem so bad, so empty”

Noah “really?”

Dakota “Really”

Noah “But what if, I mean I don’t know if I can do what you want, it hurt so much…”

If only he could say the words, if only he could find the way to tell Noah how he felt, to make him understand what it was that he wanted. In some ways he felt like he was fighting a losing battle, that maybe Noah wasn’t the one, that maybe it was all in his head and that he had built up this image of Noah that was just a fantasy and yet when he looked at him, when he saw how his face stared into his own, he felt hope, felt that there was something there, that it was just that Noah didn’t know how to respond, or that maybe he was just too scared, just as he had been when Montana had shown him how it was, how Montana had held him close, his hand caressing his hair, wiping his tears away, maybe that was it, maybe he just need to be patient, like Montana had been with him?

Yet too, it felt like maybe Noah didn’t want to know, that maybe Noah didn’t want the same things he did and that maybe, he was wrong, maybe Noah wasn’t the one, that perhaps he just wanted someone to pop him? He just didn’t know and yet, somehow inside he felt that he was wrong, that Noah did want what he wanted but that he, Dakota, wasn’t able to make it clear enough, wasn’t smart enough to break past all that so called book stuff. He felt helpless as he realized that he was failing, that all his dreams about what he and Noah could be together were just that, dreams.

Dakota “You don’t get it”

Noah “I want to, I do”

Dakota “Do You? ‘Cause I don’t care if I never fuck you, or you me for that matter, that isn’t what I want, it isn’t what makes me think of you all the time, I mean, yeah I like doing it, I mean the idea of being deep inside of you or having you in me, it makes me shake, but smelling you, listening to your voice, just watching the way your lips pout, or the way your nostrils flare, the touch of your breath on my face, all that makes me just as warm inside, makes me shake just as much if not more so, yeah that physical stuff is nice, but you do more for me without it, I don’t need that, I just want to, I just want to mean something to you, to have you feel just a little like I feel about you.”

Noah “Then why, I mean why tell me about you and Montana?”

Dakota “I guess, I don’t know, I guess in some ways it was to see if you were real, if you wanted me for me or for my dick, I don’t know Noah, all I know is that to me, you make me feel like, well, feel like I count, that there is someone I can talk to, share things with.”

Noah “Share things? Like what?”

Dakota “I don’t know, I guess to have someone near when I wait for the next test result?”

Noah’s head lifted up as Dakota spoke and he could hear the fear and loneliness in each word that Dakota spoke. His heart ached for him and he didn’t know what he could do as he stared at him, saw the desperation in Dakota’s eyes and yet he felt his own fear too, wondering if he could be what he thought Dakota wanted. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to try and be that, he just didn’t know if he could, if he had what it would take but as he stared into Dakota’s brown eyes, saw the flickering hope growing weaker, he felt a tremble in his body, and without even realizing it he knew he was now standing up.

Dakota saw Noah shake, saw his arm quiver as Noah pushed himself up onto his feet and Dakota could feel his heart trembling, afraid of what was to happen. His mind screamed at him, telling him he should have kept quiet, should have kept his big mouth shut and yet deep down inside, the small tiny frightened voice still spoke up, still haunted his heart with its desire to be heard and he closed his eyes for a second, willing his body to stay still, willing his heart to keep on beating as he felt Noah walk past him towards the tree trunk and the way down.

Tears filled his eyes as he blinked and he was afraid to turn and watch Noah disappear down the tree, afraid to feel the waves of emptiness come back to haunt him as they had ever since Montana had finally ended his suffering. His body shook as he imagined the worse, his eyes finally peering upwards, asking if there would ever be that right person, if there would ever be a chance to stop being so alone when he heard Noah’s small frightened voice calling his name. Dakota turned around to see that Noah hadn’t left; instead he was standing by the rolled up sleeping bags and the wooden box.

Dakota “What?”

Noah “I said can I put these out on the floor, the sleeping bags”

Dakota “yeah, uh sure but I thought…”

Noah “That I was leaving?”

Dakota “Uh huh”

Noah “Do you want me to?”

Dakota “no”

Noah “Good, I don’t want to leave, I want to stay”

Dakota “Are you sure?”

Noah “Uh huh”

He watched with his mouth slightly open as Noah pulled the three bags away from the tree and brought them over to where Dakota was sitting. He looked down at Dakota, a thin smile around his lips as he unrolled two of them, laying them side-by-side and open out on the deck. Slowly he unzipped the third bag, putting it down at the foot of other two, making it look like a covering sheet and then he slowly walked over to the edge, staring down and then upwards, watching the stars blinking in the growing darkness of the night.

Noah stared up, not sure if he was doing the right thing as he could feel the fear tearing at him as his mind continued to torture him with what Dakota had revealed. How could he have done it still echoed in his head but his heart seemed to understand, seemed to make sense out of it and the small voice within seemed no longer to be pleading, no longer afraid either and as he looked upwards, he felt his doubts subsiding a little, afraid still but willing to try, willing to take that blind leap of faith towards fulfilling his dreams.

Noah “Are we boyfriends?”

Dakota stared at Noah, saw the way he was staring upwards and he wondered what he was thinking, wondering if he was doing this because he wanted to or was it out of some sort of pity, some form of feeling sorry for him? The words startled him as he saw the way Noah held himself upright.

Dakota “If you want, I’d like that”

Noah “Even if it meant that we never had sex?”

Dakota “Yes”

There hadn’t even been a second’s hesitation in Dakota’s answer, which surprised Noah a little. His mind told him that they couldn’t have a relationship like that, and yet Dakota seemed to think they could which was weird. He had to admit though, he still wanted Dakota, he still wanted to touch him, to feel him and yet he was holding back, still afraid of the unknown or maybe it wasn’t that, maybe he was simply afraid that all he had to offer was sex and he knew he wasn’t good at it. Could that be why he was feeling so torn, so uncertain?

Noah “Are you sure?”

Dakota “Yes”

Noah “I mean, nothing, no physical stuff, not even maybe being naked together, wouldn’t that make you want someone else?”

Dakota “No, I don’t think so, shit Noah, all I know is I want to be with you, naked, dressed, it doesn’t matter to me, I just want you, whatever you are comfortable in sharing with me”

Noah “Even if all that might be is a kiss or a hug, or just sitting holding hands? You are okay with that?”

Dakota saw Noah turn to look down at him and he saw the fear in his face as well as the doubts. It was strange but he could sense what was troubling him, what was really bothering him and he sighed, seeing also how Montana had looked when he had reached out and touched him, letting his finger run along Montana’s quivering lips, the way his heart had shuddered at the first real human touch and he knew that sex wasn’t what Montana had wanted or needed, that what Montana had needed was just that simple touch, that simple gesture was all that mattered.

Looking at Noah he knew that as much as he desired to be a part of Noah, to experience all of his body, to taste it to feel it, he wanted that other touch more. He wanted to feel Noah’s heart beat next to his every second that he took a breath, and he knew that he could have that just by a touch, just by a closeness.

Dakota “Sometimes, when it really counts, just a look is enough Noah, if two people really care about each other, I know that is how I feel about you”

He could see that it was true too, the way Dakota’s eyes looked right into his, past his eyes to reach deep down into his soul. He felt the touch of Dakota’s desire reaching for him, knowing that all he had to do was stand there, that it was all Dakota needed but he wanted more, he needed more.

Noah “I want to make love to you but I am afraid”

Dakota “I know”

Noah “No, it isn’t that, not the AIDS stuff…”

Dakota “I know Noah, but you don’t have to be afraid, just, just saying what you have said is enough for me, honest”

Noah “Maybe, but not for me, I need more, but I am afraid I’ll fail you again”

Dakota “But you haven’t failed me”

Noah “I couldn’t take you inside, what if I can’t please you if I…”

Dakota “You tried, that’s what counts, and you don’t have to worry about being in me, just being next to me is enough, honest”

Noah “No, no it isn’t, will you help me?”

Dakota “I don’t, how?”

Noah “Tell me, tell me what to do, how to do it, please… I want to make love to you, to feel you, to have you feel for me what, what you felt for your brother, please… Please Dakota… help me”

Tears were running down his face as he slowly stood up and walked over to where Noah was standing. He looked into his eyes and gently he raised his hand up, wiping the few tears that were rolling down Noah’s face. His heart skipped a beat or two as his fingers touched the warm flushed cheeks, feeling the trembling body shake to his touch and he could hear a distant roar in his ears, a roar that he knew was coming from Noah.

He leaned inwards, gently moving his head to one side, seeing Noah’s head tilt the opposite way and gently his lips brushed up against Noah’s mouth. He felt the flash of fire deep inside and in a millisecond he felt the answering flicker coming from deep within Noah’s own soul as well. He sighed as he pulled his head back and stared into Noah’s warm eyes, seeing the love growing inside, seeing it slowly push aside the fear that held them both captive.

Dakota “Are you sure?”

Noah “Yes”

Dakota smiled and then he reached into his pocket, taking a few small packages out and he bent down and placed them off to one side of the sleeping bag. He could feel Noah’s eyes watching him as he bent down and then he stood back up and turned to face Noah once more. His face was aglow with a new warmth that came from deep within his soul as he reached out and once more let the back of his hand run down Noah’s face. There was no mistaking the tremor that his touch brought to Noah and he felt his own body shake as well as he pulled back, letting his hand reach to his shirt, slowly unbuttoning each button, his eyes glued to Noah’s face, watching Noah watch him.

He let his shirt fall to the floor and then he kicked his shoes off, and then bent forward to remove his socks. As he leaned forward he brushed past Noah’s body and he breathed in deeply, smelling that special aroma and scent and he felt his legs shudder as the scent filled his body with its tantalizing fragrance. His bare feet rested on the open sleeping bag, as he stood upright once more, staring fully into Noah’s face. Dakota could see the eyes peering at him, taking it all in as he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall down his long lanky body. He stepped out of them by reaching out with one hand, to rest it on Noah’s shoulder, steadying himself.

The shock of touching Noah was almost too much as Dakota felt his body grew tense, felt the hardness of his own penis as he now stood up to his full height, letting the warm night air blow gently across his naked body as he looked into Noah’s face, making sure that it was as he had first seen, that Noah truly did want this and he wasn’t disappointed. There was no mistaking the love that now shone out from Noah’s face and Dakota felt his heart beating a bit faster now as he smiled at Noah, gesturing for him to follow his lead and to undress.

Noah’s eyes were filled with tears as he saw the way Dakota smiled at him, his heart beat faster as his hands slowly began to reach up. His fingers shook as they moved across his body to gingerly unbutton his shirt. He lowered his head to stare at his trembling fingers watching each button pop open slowly exposing his milky white flesh to Dakota’s eyes. With his shirt open he took a quick glance upwards, staring into the soft warm face of Dakota. His heart skipped a beat as he saw the desire welling up in the rich dark eyes of the boy in front. His hands pulled his shirt open wider until it slowly fell off his shoulders to rest at his feet. Dakota could see the quick beat of Noah’s heart his own body trembling with the mounting excitement that filled him.

Noah could feel Dakota’s warm breath blowing across his chest as his fingers struggled with the buttons, slowly unpopping each one. He held his own breath as his nervousness still held sway, as his mind still reeled from all it had heard, but his heart continued to rise in tempo, continue to shout down the doubts and fears that seemed to plague him as his trembling fingers finally undid the last button to his shirt. He felt the warm night air gently caress his flesh, and with still trembling fingers, he slowly opened his shirt, pulling it back to let it gently slide off his shoulders and fall to the floor around his feet. He couldn’t look up but his heart continued to thunder, the voices from deep down within began to grow in strength and his eyes flashed upwards for a second, and as they did they were suddenly held in a warm embrace that seemed to flow across from Dakota.

His eyes began to water as he stared into Dakotas face and he felt a slight lump rise in his throat as his hands moved to the waistband of his pants. With trembling fingers he popped the button open and his body suddenly shook as Dakota’s hand reached out and held his. He stared upwards now, looking into Dakota’s face and he saw a cloud pass across the sparkling eyes.

Dakota “Are you sure Noah? I mean…”

Noah heard the soft words, heard the fear in them too and he knew in that instant that Dakota was the person he wanted to share his body with but more than that, who he wanted to share his life with. It was weird really, to think at his age that he’d want no one else but the way Dakota looked, the way his touch made him feel was exactly how he had dreamed it would be. The doubts, the fears, they still rested inside but they no longer controlled him and he felt the warmth inside, the desire and the love as they now took charge.

Noah “Yes”

As he spoke he pushed down on his pants forcing them down his thin legs, the growing desire making them tremble with excitement as his body brushed next to Dakota’s, and he felt the strong hands holding him steady, keeping him from falling as he slowly stepped out of the pants and then lifted his torso upright, to once more gaze into Dakota’s face. He smiled a thin smile as he still saw some doubt, some worry but as he smiled, he let his face moved forward and he lightly brushed his lips up against Dakota’s mouth, tasting the saltiness and also tasting the desire.

He could feel the desire growing as he reached out and moved Dakota’s hands up onto his chest, his own hands then moving back down to push his shorts off his body, to let free his own throbbing pole of desire. His eyes blinked as they stared down, seeing the long throbbing penis of Dakota, the white blinking flow of pre cum slowly coating the fiery purple cock head and he breathed in deeply, smelling the scent of desire, smelling his and Dakota’s youthful desire mingling together and his heart started to pound louder, echoing loudly inside his head. His mind was denied its power now, no more did it hound him with its doubts and fears and hesitations, instead it was pushed aside by the roar of his heart and the singing voices coming from deep within his soul.

Noah’s shorts lay at his feet and he reached up to hold onto Dakota’s shaking shoulders as he slowly stepped out of them. His body moved in closer to brush closer into the warm flesh of Dakota’s own throbbing body. The touch of Dakota’s hard pole against his belly made his body shudder as he felt Dakota reaching for his face, his hands gently holding his cheeks and lifting his face up to stare into his eyes. He saw the desire but something else too as his head came closer and they touched lips, the shock making his body tremble with a strange warmth that filled every part of his body.

Every inch of his body suddenly felt so alive, so full of life that he couldn’t believe it and all from a simply touch, a simple brush of the lips and yet it was like a whole new world being suddenly opened before his very eyes. Noah felt the tears rolling down his face as he shook and stared into Dakota’s very soul. He saw the love now, recognizing it for what it really was and his heart leaped forward, gunning into fast gear and he thought it would burst out from his chest as his body heaved and he felt the strong arms holding him tight, feeling the love surrounding his young body and he just knew that this was how it was supposed to be, that this was exactly what he had prayed for, dreamed of but never quite understanding what it was. Now he knew and he felt relieved as he leaned inwards, pressing his lips hard into Dakota’s mouth, his tongue flicking out in a furious flash that surprised Dakota.

He tasted the salt of Dakota’s own tears and their flavour only drove him into an even greater frenzy as his hands now reached out, holding onto Dakota’s own trembling body, the palms moving along the well defined sides, feeling the taut muscles coiled beneath the simmering flesh. He could feel each nerve tingle to his touch that only made his own body ache more and yet it was an ache that seemed to give him immense pleasure. His body groaned as it pushed inwards, wanting to melt into Dakota’s own hot fiery flesh.

He felt the hard push of Dakota’s massive thick penis running up the side of his belly, making his whole skin burn with the desire that raged from within, and he sighed as he felt his own pole digging hard into the soft warm flesh of Dakota’s thigh muscle. His whole body groaned with desire as his mouth continued to drink from Dakota. Everything was a massive explosion of new feelings as his lips now pressed up against the firm jaw of the young boy, then his teeth suddenly nibbled lightly on the underside of the chin, the force pushing Dakota’s face upwards. Noah could feel the rising heartbeat next to his own heaving chest as his mouth licked and kissed at the soft hollow of the neck, his back feeling Dakota’s strong fingers digging ever so slightly into his muscles. His body pressed inwards, meeting Dakota’s own feverish thrust and he felt the rise in his groin, felt the press of his balls up into the very root of his cock and he knew he would soon release his cream, but he didn’t mind because he knew they had all night, that it would be awhile before he would be anywhere near ready to explore the inner sanctum of Dakota’s body.

The realization that this was just a first step towards a whole new life for him dawned in brilliant techno colour. His body shook as his penis pressed harder into Dakota’s thigh, his mouth sucking on the warm salty flesh of Dakota’s neck, his teeth gently biting at the skin, and he could hear the increasing shallowness of Dakota’s breathing. His body grew tense and he could feel the fiery heat welling up in his groin as his body continued to press harder, continued to try and become a part of Dakota’s own mortal flesh.

Dakota’s hands reached down and firmly gripped the two shaking orbs of Noah’s buttocks, the fingers began to dig into the soft hot flesh and he could hear Noah’s soft moan of pleasure mingle with his own strident groan of desire. His body grew hotter as he pulled the young body closer, forcing the thick throbbing penis to push beyond his thigh and go past his own sweating groin. The touch of the hot cock head past his balls made his own penis jerk and sway as it was pressed between their two bodies. He felt the coiled muscles in Noah’s belly tighten and he pulled harder, forcing Noah in even more, forcing the hot throbbing pole to squeeze past even as his own legs clamped themselves tighter, trying to deny the throbbing pole any space.

Noah suddenly cried out and his body bucked and swayed in Dakota’s arms as his penis hurled itself forward, the hot press of Dakota’s flesh only adding to the pleasure that now raced from deep inside of Noah’s soul to pour itself out along the wide open tunnel that led out from the hot blood gorged pole. His body shook to the violent explosion and unlike all the other times, he didn’t feel ashamed, he didn’t feel like he had let Dakota down or ruined anything. This time he felt good as his body was held tightly in Dakota’s arms, his exploding body held close as the hot stream of his cream came cascading out and splattered all along the inside of Dakota’s inner thigh. He felt the sudden inhale of breath as the first stream struck the sizzling flesh of Dakota’s inside leg and it was like a whole new experience for him as he could feel the sudden press of Dakota’s own massive pole. He felt it jerk and grow hotter as his body shook and he felt a small tremor starting around the back where his own hands rested on Dakota’s body, and he could feel the boy’s muscles tightening even more as his body continued to empty itself of its first stream of milk.

His breath grew ragged as his body surrendered to the sudden explosion of love that began to roll down the inside of Dakota’s legs. He could feel the hot breath of Dakota on his shoulder and it only grew hotter as his body continued its wild gyration of motions. His groin was pressed hard into the body, his softening penis still dripping hot love from its gorged head and he could feel his own muscles slowly uncoiling, slowly relaxing as the force of his explosion started to end its wild torrent but the hot press of Dakota’s own hard member against his stomach seemed to be growing, becoming hotter and more pressing. Noah could feel the hard press as Dakota’s own body began to shake more, began to tremble with a pending sense of urgency that was confirmed by the rapid intake of breath and shallow breathes that now blew hotly across his neck and shoulders. The arms held him even tighter, squeezing him tighter, removing all space between their two sweating bodies. It was almost as if he was being sucked into the very flesh of Dakota’s body and he cried out as he felt the hard thick pole digging into his very stomach.

He heard a loud gurgling cry of pain and then a searing heat began to crawl up his body from where Dakota’s hard penis rested. He felt the hot liquid defying gravity as it was shot out from the huge cannon that was Dakota’s penis and he found his own hands clasped around the shaking and trembling back of his lover, holding him even tighter, squeezing him as if his very life depended on it. His body shook and tears rolled down from his eyes as he felt the hot thick cream rolling up his heaving stomach and onto his chest, their two bodies crushing each other, smearing the hot thick milk between them, making it like a hot glue that was binding them together. His head ached and the tears misted his eyes as he heard Dakota’s cries next to his ears.

The pain was so intense and yet so sweet that he wasn’t sure if it was pain or pure joy that was causing his chest to ache so hard. Every part of his body felt like it was being twisted and turned into shapes that were impossible for a human body to conform to, but his was and all the time he could feel the slow roll of Noah’s cooling cum travelling down his inner leg just as his own hard cock was rearing back, just as his own body was suddenly no longer his to command but was overtaken by its own secret desires. He felt the sharp pain of his balls slinging upwards, felt the heat inside his body boiling up as he grasped tightly to the shaking body in his arms.

Dakota couldn’t believe that this was happening, that his own body was about to explode without even the touch of a hand or the press of a lip. One part of him was suddenly shocked by the wild emotions that were suddenly released inside of his soul while the mind was off in shock, his heart being the only part that seemed to know and understand what was happening to him. He cried out as his hard thick cock suddenly seemed to explode, all feeling gone as all he could feel was a sudden exhilaration, a sudden release of all of his fears and doubts and he cried out, hearing his own voice garbled by the power of his emotions.

He knew his penis was only resting along the taut stomach of Noah and yet it felt almost as if he was indeed inside of the boy’s body. He could almost hear the heart pounding next to his own thundering heart and yet not quite, not fully but as his body continued to spew its milky love all over the shaking flesh, he knew inside that this was just a prelude to what was to come and he suddenly saw the image of his brother flash before his eyes. He cried silently as he saw that smile, that knowing look and that tell tale wink as if the image was really there, as if it was watching and giving its approval and his whole body continued to twist and turn and press inwards, devouring the flesh that stood before it and now he could hear it clearly, now he could feel Noah’s heart beating as well as hear it.

Tears rolled down his face that was now nestled deeply into the crook of Noah’s neck. He could feel them mingling with sweat and yet he didn’t feel embarrassed anymore as he held on, knowing that this was a beginning for him, a chance that he had never dreamed would come again to him but it was and he felt the joy coursing thru his whole body. He felt the tingle down in his toes and in each strand of his long hair. He felt so alive, so full of love that his hands grew even tighter, his clasp growing like a steel chain that nothing could severe and as he felt the strength of his own desire, he also could feel it coursing thru Noah’s own smaller body. He felt the power there and suddenly he was no longer afraid, but more than that he didn’t feel so alone anymore, so empty.

They stood there in the darkening night, the warm soft wind gently blowing across their shaking bodies and yet they saw nothing but each other. They stood there, feeling their love begin to form an unbreakable bond that no one could ever break and as they stood there, their cum mingled with their sweat to unite their souls for a brief second in time. Time seemed to stand still in awe of the force of their love as they held tightly to each other, slowly letting the force of their desire cool, slowly letting the shock of their wild show of desire for each other ease.

As the physical passion seemed to cool between them, Dakota could feel the passion within only growing warmer, only becoming more intense as finally they were able to stop their shaking, to hold less tightly onto each other because somehow, in some weird strange way they both knew that the other was never going to be far away, that the other would always be there to hold, to hug, to kiss and to love. Dakota’s body relaxed and he pushed his head up to stare finally into the liquid pools of Noah’s eyes. He saw the truth of their desire, of their love resting there and he felt the growing love reaching for him, reaching for his own love and he lifted his hand up, a finger gently wiping a tear from the corner of Noah’s face.

Dakota “God I love you Noah”

Noah “I… I know, I can feel it…”

Dakota smiled as he bent his head forward and lightly pressed his lips against Noah’s warm moist lips. He tasted the salty sweat and tears that had flowed around them and he reached out, holding onto Noah’s hand and slowly helped him to slink down to his knees. He too let his body sink down, and finally the two of them were stretched out on the open sleeping bags. He propped his head onto his hand as he turned to look down at Noah all stretched out, his face peering up at him with nothing but a shiny glow, a beaming ray of love that shown out from deep within Noah and he felt at peace as he let his one hand gently caress the sweaty chest, his eyes never leaving Noah’s adoring face.

Dakota “Me too…”

 

Chapter 5

‘Only love gives us the taste of eternity’

– Jewish Proverb

Saturday

4:19 p.m.

The car was moving slowly along the potholed road, Dakota keeping his focus on the road ahead, twisting and turning the large steering wheel to avoid the deeper of the potholes that seemed to be everywhere. Noah kept his eyes going between the road ahead and watching the intent expression on Dakota’s face. In a sense he felt uncertain still about Dakota, about what he really wanted or for that matter what he wanted from Dakota. At first he thought it was simply sex, but he knew inside that wasn’t really true, because as much as he felt he wanted it, he was petrified by the idea. He knew he wanted to be with Dakota that way, hell he could feel the desire each time he even just thought about the guy’s name, but a part of him deep down was still scared.

He had listened to all the nonsense, the scares about AIDS, about STD’s and the like and that definitely had him frightened, yet each time he would steal a glance at Dakota’s face, he felt like it couldn’t happen to him, that he was immune in some way, that those things happened to those who were sleazy, not to guys like him or Dakota. Course he knew he was kidding himself, and to be honest he hadn’t really thought much about the risks, all he could thing of was that thick pole and if it would hurt as much as he thought it would. Somehow he knew it would and that scared him, because he also knew he wanted to do nothing more than please Dakota, to show him that he was someone Dakota could care for.

Funny how he could think of all this and still manage to feel damn horny too. Christ he had to stop all these thoughts because it was only making his own dick hard and sitting in the bucket seats were hard enough, smelling Dakota’s scent, the car and everything else was just driving him nuts and yet, the damn voices wouldn’t leave him in peace. He had pictured this day differently; at least the start hadn’t gone like he had figured. Instead of a wild passionate kiss, all he had got was a smile and a hello, which left him hard and all but it wasn’t quite what he thought lovers did when they would meet. Then again, they really weren’t lovers or at least not yet. Maybe that was it, maybe things changed once you ‘did it’ or maybe not, he just didn’t know and that was tearing at him as the car moved quickly down the highway and then to the road they were on now.

Noah wasn’t sure what he had expected, maybe a quick trip somewhere where they would then leap on each other and grope each other but that didn’t seem to be in the cards, least not so far and part of him felt relief at that, because he just didn’t know what to do. Oh he had seen a few videos and pictures and he had heard stuff, but it wasn’t exactly the same, it left him feeling weird actually. He liked the idea, the thought of Dakota’s long arms wrapped around him, the idea of his hands reaching down his chest, touching him, feeling him and he really liked the idea of smelling Dakota’s hair as it would brush past his face, but what if he didn’t touch Dakota back the right way, what if he was what the guys called some girls, a dead fuck? What would he do then? Who could he go to or tell? He felt so alone really, so scared of screwing up that he could also feel his dick softening. Course he could correct that by simply turning to stare at Dakota’s face again, but what if it happened when they were together? What if he got soft instead of harder? What would Dakota do then? Would he laugh at him? Would Dakota push him away and look for someone else?

Christ, this is stupid, he thought as he stared at the flashing scenery, realizing they were out of town now, that the pothole road had given way to a gravel track and he saw farms on either side. For the life of him he didn’t know where he was at first, his mind too occupied with thoughts of what he might screw up that he almost missed Dakota’s question.

Noah “Huh? Sorry, what did you say?”

Dakota saw the look on Noah’s face and he felt the same dread, same fear inside that he had felt before, felt when he too wasn’t so sure of what he wanted or felt even. He could see that same look in Noah’s face and it troubled him as he wondered if maybe he was pushing too much, if maybe he had jumped the gun by going to Noah’s house that night. Trouble was that the instant he had seen Noah, something inside of him had snapped, something had somehow taken hold of his thoughts, making him think of nothing else but being with Noah, almost as if they had known each other forever, which he knew wasn’t true, still he couldn’t deny the strange eerie feelings he had ever since he first saw him walking towards the locker.

Montana had told him that sometimes your heart ruled, that sometimes you just knew when someone was right for you and that sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it was fate taking you by the hand and leading you to where you truly belonged. He felt the emptiness inside as he thought about what Montana had told him, and he could see his face even now, staring out at him even as his eyes looked for the potholes in the road, he could still see the piercing eyes of Montana, feel his breath against his own face, as Montana had told him about life, about love.

They had shared that moment together, a time when Montana had shown him what it was like when you were truly loved and he could still feel that sharp stab of pain as Montana had entered him, and yet he could also feel the amazing warmth, the tremendous flow of energy that came with that short stab of entry. Dakota felt the tears welling up as his heart cried out for that time again, and it was that cry, that ache that had suddenly stopped the very instant he had seen Noah.

He had searched for that feeling, had yearned for it but it always seemed to elude him until that day, that one day when he had stared at the faded writing on the locker and turned to see the figure slowly walking down the hallway. Somehow he knew it was his new locker partner, somehow he knew too that the ache, the terrible pain he still felt inside would leave the moment they met and it had, not for long, but it had left and that in itself had scared him.

Noah wasn’t what he had expected and yet as he searched his eyes he could see the hunger there, the light of someone who had a kindred spirit, which is partly why he had taken the chance, had gone to his house that night and also why he had stayed away the rest of the week. He too was just as uncertain as Noah was, just as frightened but not for the same reasons. He knew he could satisfy Noah’s sexual needs, but could he satisfy him in what Montana said was the real test of love? Could he make Noah feel for him the way he felt for Noah?

Everything was so complicated these days, the having to work all the time, the fact that at any moment someone would find out about him, about Montana was taking its toll. He knew that, knew that he had acted out of desperation that night when he had gone back to Noah’s house, but Noah seemed like, well like he would understand and now, now he looked so frightened, so uncertain that maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe he should have begged off this plan but damn it, he needed to feel Noah next to him, or more if Noah would oblige him, but just to be with him, it all sort of helped him and right now he knew he needed something, needed someone to get him through what he was feeling.

The way Noah sat in the car, the way he would look at him when he thought he wasn’t watching, all of that only drove him, made him more determined to see if the feelings inside, of the strange dreams he was having, were real or at least possible. He hadn’t felt so alive for a long time, hadn’t felt the urge so much in the past as he had this last week, waiting for tonight. No, he knew he couldn’t have put this off, and he sighed, wondering if he really was ready for all this or was he just trying to hide again?

Noah’s voice startled him a little as he realized that he had finally answered him, and he smiled, turning to stare at the anxious face. He could see the anxiety in Noah’s eyes and wondered if he too had that same frightened look on his face?

Dakota “uh, nothing much, uh just saying we were almost there.”

Noah “Oh, okay”

Dakota “Yeah, uh sorry about the road”

Noah “Huh? Oh, it’s okay, you seem to know it pretty good”

Dakota “Yeah, comes from driving it all the time”

Noah “You didn’t say you lived on a farm”

Dakota “Don’t really, I mean it isn’t ours, we rent a house this guy has and I do some stuff around the place for him, kind of help out you know?”

Noah “Must be neat, I mean are there animals?”

Dakota “Neat? I guess it’s okay, yeah some, mostly its just farming, you know hay and that shit.”

Noah “Oh, still, kind of nice to be away from the city”

Dakota “It has its moments, uh I have to fix some fences first, you mind?”

Noah “Huh? No, can I help?”

Dakota “Huh? Uh yeah if you want, kind of boring though, you can watch TV in the house while I do this, if you want.”

Noah “I’d rather be with you, uh, that is, I mean if its okay?”

Dakota “Okay? Yeah it’s okay, uh, just uh, you don’t have to you know?”

Noah “I know, just, well, if it’s okay, I’d like to”

Dakota simply smiled as he wheeled the car into a long dirt driveway. Noah smiled back and his heart was going a mile a second as he thought about that smile, the way that Dakota’s face simply lit up when he smiled. The eyes seemed to sparkle and his whole face looked so happy, so alive that Noah managed to once more put aside the doubts that kept plaguing him and he could feel the heat between his legs, knowing that he was once more riding the roller coaster of his own emotions. The thought of watching, no, of working side by side with Dakota, of sweating together as they pounded in nails made his groin shudder from the growing ache that now throbbed through his entire lower body.

He had to be in love, what else could it be if he wanted to actually work fixing fences? Noah sat there as the car pulled up to an old weather beaten barn building, the red paint flaked and dulled by the weather and he looked around, seeing the old blue pick up truck, the wire fence surrounding smaller little shed like buildings, and then he saw the house itself. It wasn’t exactly modern but it was clean and he realized that Dakota was staring at him, almost as if he expected him to say something or do something. Noah could feel the sweat beads forming as he wondered what it was he was supposed to do or say when it struck him, when it all hit him at once that Dakota expected him to bolt, to run simply because the house and place wasn’t exactly suburb or upscale like he was used to.

Sure he had guessed that things weren’t exactly easy for Dakota and his family, after all he had said that he and his sister had to work, not wanted to but had to, and there was no doubt that his clothes were clean but definitely not new or anywhere near being new, but to see this place, and to feel like it was a test kind of made him angry at first, then sad. Slowly he turned away from the buildings to look at Dakota, unsure of what he would find and he could see the apprehension in Dakota’s eyes, the way they looked at him as if he was holding himself ready for a big let down. The way his hands clutched at the steering wheel spoke volumes to him and inside his heart he could a sort of aching feeling, one that kind of was like an urge to reach out, to hold Dakota, to just hold him.

Noah “I wish we lived on a place like this”

Dakota “Really? It isn’t much to look at…”

Noah “I don’t know, it’d be nice to come out after dinner or something, walk out and see the stars, bet you can really see them clear from out here”

Dakota “Yeah, you can, still…”

Noah “Maybe we can check em out later? It would be kind of fun, uh, I mean, well, if you like that sort of stuff.”

Dakota “Really? I mean, yeah I do… you really think this place is neat?”

Noah “Yeah”

Dakota looked hard into Noah’s face, trying to see if what he was saying was how he really felt. He had never thought about it before, but it mattered to him what Noah thought, how he felt and he sighed a little, seeing the look in those eyes, not sure if they were real or if Noah was just being polite. He didn’t mind where he lived, he would trade even this for another day with Montana, and he knew too that his parents felt the same way and yet he also knew his father felt bad for them all, not because he had done anything wrong, just that he hadn’t been able to give them more. It never really dawned on him how much they had sacrificed until now, when it came time to wheel the car into the yard and to see how Noah would react to their place. It never mattered before but now it did and he still wasn’t certain even though inside, he wanted to believe that what Noah said was true.

Dakota “Uh guess we should get to it then, uh, you sure? I mean, you can wait in the house, won’t take me that long”

Noah “Take you less time if I help won’t it?”

Dakota “Yeah but…”

Noah “So?”

Dakota “You’ll get your clothes dirty, I mean its…”

Noah “I brought another pair of jeans, two actually, so its cool”

He kind of liked the idea that Noah wasn’t going to be put off, that he was insistent actually and the notion that he had brought more than one pair of pants also made him grin a little as he climbed out of the car. The thought of undressing Noah came clearly to his mind and he could still see that lump that had first attracted his eyes attention when he had climbed into the window. Maybe he was just making too much out of the place, maybe it really didn’t matter about possessions and stuff, maybe Montana was right, that when you found that special one, nothing mattered to them but you, not your clothes or your house or even how you looked to others, nothing mattered because they cared for the person. It wasn’t something he really believed in, least not that much but looking at Noah, seeing how his eyes would light up when he smiled at him, maybe it was true, maybe Montana really did know.

Dakota “Just remember I warned you”

Noah “I will”

Dakota “I think you would too, okay, uh well you can throw your stuff in the house or in the back of the pick up there, I’ll go get the boards we need and put it in back”

Noah “Okay, uh, need some help bringing the boards out?”

Dakota “Naw, only got a few to take”

Noah grabbed his pack from the backseat of the mustang and headed over towards the pale old blue pick up truck. He could see the dirt and mud caked on the sides and he knew it was definitely a work truck for the place. It had dents on the side and a big huge wooden box in the bed, one he assumed carried tools and stuff. He debated for a second on whether to keep his pack with him then as he turned to watch Dakota going into the barn, he simply tossed the pack into the back of the bed, his eyes glued to the tall figure walking away from him.

He couldn’t explain it, but it felt so perfect right now, to be leaning up against the metal side of the truck, his elbows on the rail of the truck bed, and Dakota just walking away. It was sort of like, well like this was their place and he was watching the other half. Noah could feel the strange giddiness in his head as he watched the way Dakota’s butt moved as he walked, the way the tight jeans were moulded to his body and even the thin white threads from the one back pocket only added to the picture, making his hand move down and adjust his own crotch. Christ, he thought, what a horny ass I am but then as he saw Dakota disappear into the darkness of the barn, he realized that it wasn’t that he just wanted sex, though that thought certainly seemed to be popping up a lot in his mind, but that there was more to being with Dakota than that. Maybe it was love though he really wasn’t too sure what love was, all he knew was that he didn’t want to disappoint Dakota, and he waited, counting the seconds waiting for Dakota to return.

4:58 p.m.

The truck bounced along the old dirt trail and Noah could see the plume of dust it was leaving behind too as he concentrated on just staying in the seat. The truck was certainly used to hard work and the noise of the engine made it almost impossible to talk without shouting and besides, he was enjoying just watching the way Dakota drove it. His hands were constantly moving on the steering wheel, well one mostly, the other played with the stick shift in the middle, gearing up one second, then down another as he kept the old truck moving along the trail. He never realized how much work there was in just driving before, and yet as he watched Dakota’s strong hand around the stick shift, his mind kept wondering how he would feel with that very hand wrapped around his pole?

It was weird really, to be thinking like this, but he couldn’t help himself and the way the truck bounced only added to some of his wilder thoughts. He couldn’t help but feel a grin cross his face as he wondered if this would be how it would feel to have Dakota inside of him, his body constantly being forced up into the air and the image of Dakota’s big pole made him lick his lips as he felt the strange ache in his buttocks and his groin. He had to be sick to be thinking like this but as he stole another glance at Dakota, he could see the thick bulge in Dakota’s pants and he knew that Dakota was thinking about it too. Maybe they both were sick or maybe it was just that they were teenagers heading out into a wide empty field.

They finally came up to a grove of trees and then pulled up beside them, well actually inside the grove and Noah could see the fence line running just past. He stared at the fence posts and then turned to see Dakota staring at him. He felt sort of giddy really, knowing that Dakota was looking at him with that sort of hungry look. The way Dakota’s mouth had that little curl at the ends; the way the eyes were just slightly narrowed only made him want Dakota more. He could feel the ache rising up, growing and making him feel uncomfortable because all he really wanted to do was jump out and hold him, feel him crush his body into Dakota’s.

Dakota could see that look in Noah’s eyes and he felt the blood flowing into his groin as he recognized that look, knowing it wasn’t any different really than the one he must have in his own eyes, on his own face. He shifted a little, wondering if maybe he wasn’t pushing this too fast, if maybe Noah really wasn’t all that ready for this but then he saw the look, stared into the eyes and he could feel the desire, feel it striking out at him, reaching for him and he shivered a little, from the growing excitement inside. For a brief moment he could think of nothing but wanting to reach out and grab a hold of Noah, to bring his young firm body close into his own but he held back, his sense of responsibility taking charge despite the raging urges inside. He was at least smart enough to know that if he didn’t do the fence first, he’d never get it done today.

Noah felt disappointed as he watched Dakota climb down from the truck and head towards the back of it. For a second or two he was certain that Dakota was going to reach out and touch him or at least give some sign, some signal that he wanted him closer or something. He felt a slight pain in his chest as he realized just how nervous he was and how much he really wanted Dakota to want him, to crave him like he craved for Dakota. Maybe it was different once you had sex, maybe that was it and he was just trying too hard? That could be it he thought as he slowly climbed out and walked out to where Dakota was standing, piling the few boards up against the side of the truck.

He saw Dakota staring at him and he smiled at him, not wanting to let his disappointment show. Damn this wasn’t quite how he expected the weekend to go and all he could think of was that he was only going to make a real mess of things. He didn’t really see Dakota move and then he caught the blur of motion and saw the object coming towards him. For a second he thought maybe Dakota had thrown something hard at him but as he began to duck he saw the object fluttering a little and he reached out with his hand, missing it and deflecting it as it fall to the ground next to him. He stared down at the old baseball hat and bent down to pick it up. As he stood up he saw Dakota looking at him with a quizzical look.

Noah “What’s this?”

Dakota “A hat”

Noah “Duh, but what for?”

Dakota “It’s hot out, the sun is kind of bright and if you planning to help, well, gotta wear something, don’t need you passing out”

Noah “Oh, uh thanks”

It wasn’t quite like he had thought, he was too nervous and he knew it but Noah was special, and for some reason he just couldn’t seem to make the right moves. He had seen that sort of hang dog look when Noah climbed down and then the absolute terror when he had tossed him the hat. Damn that had been stupid, he thought, as he carried the boards down towards the fence, wondering if maybe he really had rushed this whole weekend thing, but shit, he liked Noah and he really did think that they could be friends. Maybe the whole sex thing was still scaring Noah, maybe he should try to avoid that? He just wasn’t sure but he felt all twisted inside, scared really which he never felt before when with a guy he had a thing for.

For about a second or two he stared at the hat and then at Dakota’s retreating back and he felt like he wanted to just run and hide. How stupid could he be, he wondered as he took the hat in his hands, seeing that it was a well used one and he breathed in, knowing that it was Dakota’s own cap, and he could feel his heart turning over inside his chest as his eyes watered a bit. To think, he cared enough to give him his cap and like a dolt he had asked him what it was for. Could he be any more of a geek than that? He felt his legs grow heavy as Dakota continued down the grassy hill towards the fence and he made up his mind then that he would just have to try harder, that no matter what he wasn’t going to be a disappointment to Dakota. He grabbed the small bag of nails and two hammers and trotted down the hill towards Dakota, getting at the fence slightly out of breath just as Dakota leaned the boards up against a post.

Dakota turned to see Noah almost on top of him and he smiled as he saw the bag and hammers in his hands. He had forgotten them in his haste to get away, afraid that he would make an even bigger ass out of himself. Christ, he should have known better to have thrown the cap in the first place and secondly to not realize that Noah wasn’t really used to all this, and to make him seem like a fool wasn’t going to help either. He was just nervous still it was no excuse as he saw the determined look on Noah’s face and he felt a strange warmth creeping into his body as he heard Noah’s slightly laboured breathing.

Smiling, he thanked Noah for the nails and then he undid his shirt, his eyes looking over Noah as he took the shirt off, carefully putting it on the one post, and then he bent down to pick up a hammer and some nails, jamming them into his pocket as he went over to the broken fence boards.

Noah watched the shirt coming off, feeling suddenly like a peeping tom or something. He couldn’t explain it but Dakota seemed so distant really, almost as if he was trying to ignore Noah’s presence and it only made him more determined to do things better. He watched the shirt come off, the golden flesh glistening in the setting sun’s rays and he heard himself stifle back a yelp of amazement as all he could think of was how hot Dakota looked, standing there in the faded blue denim pants, his naked chest glistening a little from a trace of sweat and the sun, making Dakota look like a Greek God of pure gold. It made him almost fall forward and try to reach out to touch him, to see if indeed his body was pure gold but he fought it, contained his raging emotions just as Dakota turned and headed towards the fence.

He had to admit that Dakota seemed to know exactly what he was doing as he knocked the broken boards off and then stacked them neatly, taking the bent nails out and stuffing them into his other pants pocket. It really was something to see the way he moved his arms so effortlessly and with such confidence too. Only trouble was he kept wishing that those arms were around him and not the hammer.

They didn’t speak much except for when Dakota told him where to hold the new boards and when he asked if that was right or something simple. They worked like that for almost an entire hour before the last nailed was pounded in and the fence was no longer broken. Dakota stepped back and surveyed the work, making sure that he had nailed it all up properly and that everything was in line. Noah saw the sweat glistening from his arms and torso, the flesh looking golden in the sun’s rays. He looked so handsome it was unbelievable and he felt a sense of awe actually because he was here, alone with him with no one else to stare, no one else to share in the beauty he was privileged to gaze upon.

Dakota started to pick up the boards near his side and Noah quickly gathered up the one’s he was closest to and together they headed back up the grassy knoll towards the truck parked under the big trees. He could hear the heavy breathing coming from Dakota and from himself as they carried the broken pieces up, his legs feeling a bit heavy as the heat and exertion had taken its toll on them. Noah was slightly in awe too because as much as he was kind of tired from it all he realized that Dakota had to be even more exhausted. After all he had put in a full day’s work at the grocery store while Noah had run around trying to make sure he had everything for his overnight stay. To think that Dakota would still want to entertain him never mind the other stuff was something he had never thought about until now. It made Dakota seem even more attractive and desirable to him as they reached the truck and dumped their load of broken wood into the back.

His only trouble really was that he had no idea of how to tell Dakota that, how to express to him how special he felt that Dakota would even bother, never mind actually care enough to have him here. It was strange really, maybe it was his shyness or something else but he couldn’t help but wonder why someone like Dakota was the way he was, why he was special and yet it seemed like he didn’t know that, didn’t understand the real effect he had on guys like Noah. Noah kept his eyes down, or at least he tried to but every few seconds he just had to steal a glance at Dakota, to even pinch himself to make sure this just wasn’t some dream he was having.

With the last board in the truck he felt like the magic was about to end, a sort of sadness crept inside as he stole what he thought would be one last glance at Dakota’s naked chest when he saw that Dakota was staring at him. He gulped the saliva in his mouth, wondering if he had done something wrong. His hands were at his side but the lump in his throat felt real, almost choking him as he stared in the dark eyes, wishing he could find the words to tell Dakota how much he liked him, how much he wanted him.

There was no mistaking the look he saw in Noah’s face, the way he licked his lips as he stared at him and he knew that he too was staring, that he too had that same desire burning deep inside and before he knew it, he was over beside Noah, standing next to him, staring into his face as he clenched his hands into fists, the fear rising up inside of him, making him shake a little with trepidation.

Dakota “I am sorry…”

Noah “Sorry? What for, you haven’t done anything”

Dakota “Not much of a host, I mean invite you over and make you work…”

Noah “I enjoyed it, honest”

Dakota “Really?”

Noah “Yeah, I mean, shit, Dakota I don’t care what it is, what I do as long as I can be near you, I know it sounds goofy and all…”

Dakota “You mean that? About just wanting to be near me?”

Noah “Yes, I do, I can’t explain it but…”

Dakota “I feel the same way about you, guess I just am, well, you make me nervous”

Noah “I make you nervous? Christ, I am shaking so hard inside right now”

Dakota “Why? I mean, you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, don’t you?”

Noah “I know, it is just, shit, I want to be with you, I just don’t know if I can be what you would want me to, shit, I don’t know dick”

Dakota “Haha, well I can introduce you to one I know well, uh, that is if you want…”

Noah “God yes, I haven’t thought about anything else, I just… I mean I don’t know if I could be good enough for you, I mean, well…”

Dakota put his finger up to Noah’s lips, stopping him from speaking and just looked deeply into his face. He smiled a slow sort of grin that made his face shine even more, his cheeks becoming slightly flushed as he gazed into Noah’s face. He could feel the deep probing look and a strange warmth seemed to pass between them both as they stood there, silently breathing, waiting for something.

He saw the fear crossing Noah’s face and he realized that as nervous as he was, Noah was just as frightened, just as scared. Dakota reached out with his hand, seeing it shake and tremble a little as he brought it up to Noah’s face, letting the back of it run down the warm flesh cheek, feeling the jaw tighten and then quiver to his gentle touch. He felt the warmth now, caressing his own soul as he let his hand run down and under Noah’s chin, his fingers gently resting on the v where Noah’s shirt was opened.

Dakota “I think that you are exactly who I have been dreaming about”

Noah heard the words being softly spoken and his eyes moistened as they penetrated deep into his heart. For a moment or two he thought he could hear the sudden roar of his beating heart but it was an illusion as he just stood there, his body shaking a little as he felt Dakota’s touch on his neck, then he felt the tug on his shirt, as Dakota’s fingers undid each of his buttons, opening his shirt. The gentle breeze that blew around them blow across his bare chest, cooling it as he felt the fires inside of his soul flickering and rising.

Noah “Oh God that is all I want to be Dakota, all I have thought about all week, to be yours, only yours”

The words filled his heart and Dakota felt the fires, felt the flames flickering once more deep in his soul where they had lain dormant for so long and in that moment he knew that Noah was indeed who Montana had been telling him about. That Noah was that one, that special person who would reach him like no other living person could and as much as Dakota had doubted it, he knew now that his brother had told him the truth.

With his own body trembling in anticipation, Dakota bent forward and closing his eyes, he leaned inwards and let his lips briefly brush up against Noah’s pale lips, tasting the saltiness and the sweetness all at once. His heart thundered in his ears as he felt Noah’s body shake and then tighten as his arms wrapped around the boy’s body, holding him and feeling him at the same time.

Every nerve in his body was screaming with pure sweet agony, as he held onto Noah tightly, squeezing him closer as their two bodies wrapped into each other. He could feel his own groin ache but he also felt the force of Noah’s own desires pressing hard into his thigh. He could feel his heart beating as he let his mouth once more brush up against the pale thin lips of Noah, once more he tasted the warmth as his tongue pressed forward, splitting apart the opening mouth and in that single instant of time, he knew that Noah was the one, the one who would make him whole again.

Tears began to roll down his face as he kissed Noah deeply, feeling the complete surrender of Noah’s mouth to his, feeling the total collapse of resistance as he held Noah from falling to the ground and his tongue dove deep into the willing throat. He could taste it all in a sudden rush of flavours, as his tongue licked and probed deep into the open mouth, he drank heavily of the virgin juices within, feeling the strength of Noah’s desire for him slowly reaching out. His body grew hard as he eagerly sucked in the very breath coming from Noah’s own lungs, feeling his life flow into his own body as his arms grew numb from the strain.

Time seemed to have stopped as they held each other, as their mouths joined in an embrace that blocked all else from their thoughts. Dakota had no idea how long he kissed Noah, all he knew was that he felt so alive, so excited that time no longer was a care, that life even was no longer a chore to him, because he knew that his soul had finally found what it had yearned for, had desired.

They finally broke apart, both of them heaving from the sudden force of their embrace and yet still Dakota kept his arms loosely around Noah’s waist, holding him close as they drank in the sweet evening air. Both of them stared into each other’s eyes, the glistening wetness of their tears only making their eyes sparkle even brighter, become even more desirable.

The hot breath of the setting sun shone on them both, their flesh glistening as it basked in the rays and Dakota could feel the passion inside, feel it rising upwards as he reached into the truck bed, grabbing Noah’s backpack and handing it to him, knowing that inside was all they would need for now. His eyes looked deep into Noah’s, and with his hand in Noah’s own hand they slowly walked to the front of the truck, where Dakota pulled an old faded blanket out from behind the front seat and then together, they slowly walked further into the small grove of trees. The sun shined between the branches, shadows of gold played among the deep rich green of the leaves and the dark brown of the branches as the two young men walked hand in hand towards a huge redwood tree.

The tree towered above all the other trees in the grove, and it had been given a special spot among them all, nothing but rich green grass grew around the base of the huge tree and the sun managed to find holes among its green canopy to shine down upon the green carpet that lay before them. Dakota placed the blanket down next to the huge trunk of the tree and then he turned to stare once more into Noah’s face, to once more gaze into the two shining stars that were Noah’s eyes. He could feel the desire reaching for him, the passion that Noah held for him was like a thick branch reaching out towards him as he undid the button on his pants, shaking his boots off at the same time, hearing Noah’s own shoes falling free from Noah’s feet.

They stood there, Dakota with his pants just barely open and he reached out, his fingers touching briefly Noah’s stomach, feeling the muscles under the hot flesh coiling and trembling even as his hand moved down to the pants, grabbing hold of the waist band and then moving along the thick denim towards the front, where they reached for and undid the button first then slowly unzipped the fly, exposing Noah’s shaking body.

His eyes travelled back up the skinny body, seeing the sweat gleaming, the hard pink nipples rigid in the fresh air, and as he moved his gaze upwards, he could see the chest heaving slightly in a sort of strange anticipation. His eyes focused on the thin lips that now trembled uncontrollably as he stared into the face, seeing everything that there was that made Noah, Noah. He could feel the heart beat, feel the pulse as it raced, feel the deep and rich cries of joy coming from within Noah’s soul and he smiled, stepping closer to let his own body reach out.

Dakota took his time as he kissed Noah’s lips briefly, then his chin and then the hollow of Noah’s neck. He tasted the salt from Noah’s sweat, enjoying its flavour as his mouth echoed a sigh of utter contentment. He still was feeling like he was in a dream, as he kissed the soft warm flesh of Noah’s chest, kissing the hard firm nipples on either side and then down the centre, kissing the flesh softly as he slowly lowered his own body down to rest on one knee. His face was now level with Noah’s shaking stomach as his hands held onto the denim waistband of Noah’s pants. His eyes grew wider as he stared at the white gleaming skin, seeing its beauty shine as his hands carefully and very slowly lowered the dark blue denim pants, the plaid boxer shorts now showing, hiding nothing really as Noah’s body was fully aroused.

A soft wisp of a new fragrance blew across his nostrils and Dakota breathed it in deeply, knowing it was the sweet smell of Noah, and his hands let the pants down to rest bundled on the grass. He raised his head for a moment to see Noah’s face peering down at him and he smiled up at him, enjoying the sheer pleasure of Noah’s eyes widening, of seeing the eager anticipation only grew stronger inside of Noah’s soul. It all was so perfect, so amazing that he felt like he could conquer the world if asked to, but instead he turned his face back towards the trembling body before him. He felt Noah’s hands resting on his shoulders now and he sighed again, feeling the love beginning to slowly press in on him, to feel Noah’s passion slowly seep into his body from everywhere around him.

His head moved forward, his lips pursed as he came closer, and he felt the flesh touch his lips as he kissed Noah’s belly, the soft warm flesh tingling to his touch as his eyes watched in utter fascination the way the muscles shook under the skin. He kissed the soft hot flesh again as his hands slowly pulled down on the thin fabric of the boxer shorts and he breathed in deeply as Noah’s man scent came rushing up to greet him. The more he exposed of Noah’s body to the gentle breeze the more he ached inside, and he let his hands move a bit faster now as he let his tongue lick at the small tuft of pubic hairs and then he stared downwards.

The thin pole was staring at his body, sticking out straight as an arrow and he could see the small glowing drop of white that grew larger with each tick of the second hand of time, the hard deep purple of the head growing darker as well and Dakota just stared at it. He couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked to him, how it mesmerized him as he stared at it, seeing the first drop of Noah’s pre cum dripping down, slowly moving from his line of vision as it curled under the cock head and rolled down a bit of the 6 inch long shaft before finally giving way to the power of gravity and fell to the grass. His eyes followed the drop down to the very blade of grass it fell on, seeing the blade bend to the heaviness of the drop and his heart gave a sudden kick, a sudden thrust and Dakota felt himself move back a little, his body rising upwards now to stand fully erect in front of Noah.

He had felt desire before but never anything like this, nothing he had ever felt before equalled the fury that was slowly being unleashed before his very eyes. Dakota swayed a little as he stood up, the blood rushing to fill his brain for the moment, and yet he knew that it wouldn’t last, that soon his whole body would be concentrated on one thing and one thing only. He felt the muscles coiling up inside, his own rectum becoming sore and tight as his muscles clenched and unclenched under his burning flesh.

Dakota was 2 inches taller than Noah and yet to Noah it was like he was a giant. He stared up into Dakota’s face as he stood up, feeling the warm evening breeze blowing across his naked body. His hands rested lightly on Dakota’s waist, and his fingers trembled from the heat and excitement he felt from just being here, from just touching and staring at Dakota.

Standing there he felt his legs lift up and shake off the remnants of his outer clothes, only his socks remaining as he stood there among the trees and the setting sun, feeling the desire welling up deep inside of his body as Dakota looked at him. He could feel the passion growing too, feel the warmth that seemed to be growing even hotter as they stood there looking at each other, taking everything in as if to memorize every single little detail. Noah felt his body shake as Dakota’s hands no longer touched his body and he saw the smile growing across Dakota’s face as panic started to set in but was quickly tossed aside by the thundering roar of his heart.

He licked his lips for the umpteenth time as he saw the slow motion of Dakota’s arms, feeling the soft gentle breeze as he lowered his eyes to follow the motion. His powder blue eyes grew wider as he saw Dakota’s long thin fingers reach for the waistband of his own pants. He stared intently as he saw the pants being pushed down the well developed thighs, the thin pair of jockey shorts catching a passing ray of sunshine to glitter and sparkle. His heart seemed still as he saw the faded denim crumble at Dakota’s feet and then he watched as the thin nylon shorts joined the denim pants and his eyes bulged as he saw the long thick pole that now filled his vision.

He could see the thick veins stretched taut by the rushing blood within and as his eyes devoured every inch of the 7-½ inch long pole, he felt his own body begin to tremble in excitement. His hands were sweaty and yet as he stared at Dakota’s golden flesh, he saw his hand reaching out, the small hand trembling and shaking as it moved towards Dakota’s body and he almost feinted as he felt his fingers brush up against the hot flesh of Dakota’s stomach.

Noah couldn’t stop from staring at the huge cock that stood out from Dakota’s body, nor could he deny the terrible ache that began to throb within his own body as his desire to have that in him grew more strident, more determined. His hand moved down the thin treasure trail lightly, just the tip of his fingers touching the soft fine hairs until they came to the base of the throbbing pole that he stared at. He could see the large glowing orb of pre cum that rested among the centre of the huge purple reddish cock head and his heart skipped a beat or two or even three perhaps as he hesitated for a brief second, and then he quelled the fear inside and let his finger move along the hard solid skin of the shaft.

Dakota felt his lungs sucking in the air as he stood there, tense and amazed at how much he felt, at how strong the desire was inside of him to let Noah touch him this way. He could feel the urges growing and he struggled to keep control, to deny his body its strident plea for release as he felt the soft gentle touch of Noah’s finger along his throbbing cock. It ached and throbbed harder with each passing touch, and he could feel himself losing his control over his body as finally Noah’s finger reached the cock head. It rested around the cap for a second or two, a second or two of pure sweet delicious agony for Dakota, and then it moved away as Noah’s head came up and stared deeply into Dakota’s tortured face.

He had felt the love or at least he had felt something deep and moving that had invaded every fibre of his body when his finger had rested on the hot throbbing cock and it scared him in one sense and amazed him in another and yet there was even a strange third feeling, one of wild abandon and lust that seemed to cry out to him, to urge him to reach out and push Dakota to his back and ride that hot menacing looking pole but his fear was still too great. His face looked up as he saw the desire written all over Dakota’s face and he prayed silently for the courage to let Dakota love him.

His backpack was resting against the huge tree trunk and Noah sat down on the blanket, reaching instantly inside to pull out the first box he could get his fingers on. He tore open the cardboard and took out a slim plastic package and then he looked up at Dakota. His eyes spoke his desire as he held the thin condom upwards, stretching his hand up as he moved his body down on the blanket, stretching his body outwards, his hand raised up with the condom in his fingers grasp.

Dakota stared with is mouth open at Noah as he stretched out on the blanket, his naked body gleaming in the golden rays of the sun and his hard penis sticking upwards. The hand stretched up towards him and in it he saw the condom package and he looked back at the naked body, seeing the desire reaching for him from every pore in Noah’s naked body. He felt the excitement take hold of him as he stepped forward, bending down to take the offered condom and his eyes locked with those of Noah’s.

He almost fell backwards from the sudden rush of passion that reached for him and hit him squarely in the heart. He could hear his body groan as the tip of his finger touched Noah’s with the condom between them. There was no denying the desire they both felt and yet something held him back, something made him stare longer into Noah’s powder blue eyes as he held the condom in his fingers.

Dakota “Noah…”

Noah “Please”

Dakota “Are you…”

Noah “Please Dakota, please…”

The pleading voice was almost too much for him as he bent down onto his knees, kneeling next to Noah’s prone body as he stared over at the silently pleading eyes that bore heavily into his soul. He knew that Noah was frightened and yet his desire seemed so real, so urgent that he tore open the package and turning slightly so Noah could watch, he placed the thin plastic over the tip of his cockhead. The heavy gob of pre cum smeared across the 2-¼ inch thick head under the plastic as he slowly unrolled the thin plastic sheath over his throbbing cockhead. The excitement was growing inside of him and he could feel his whole body shuddering as he carefully and very slowly unravelled the thin condom down his 7 ½ inch long shaft. He saw the way Noah’s eyes followed his hand, missing nothing and he could feel the urgent desire growing too as he finally felt his fingers press hard into the pubic area of his groin, the condom fully unrolled and covering his thick throbbing pole.

He looked up and over at Noah, seeing the lust beginning to coat Noah’s blue eyes or maybe it was his own lust coating his dark brown eyes, but the moment was etched forever in his memory as he moved over to kneel between the two poles that were Noah’s legs. He stared down at the willing body in front and he glanced upwards once more, seeing the eyes glimmer with desire, seeing the passion reaching for him as his hands moved down to gently push as the inner thighs of Noah’s legs. The touch of his fingers against the hot body was making him sweat now as he slowly moved and positioned Noah’s legs, taking his time even though his whole body was screaming for him to enter the waiting flesh beneath.

With a calm deliberate motion he pushed Noah’s legs aside and lifted them up under the knee cap, feeling the ease in which he could move them, knowing that Noah was totally his now, that Noah had completely surrendered to him his very body as he moved inwards, pressing the hard thick cock up against the dangling small balls that rested just above his goal. Dakota heard Noah moan at the instant his cock touched Noah’s full testicles, he could feel the tremor that raced thru Noah’s body in his hands that held the legs up and he looked up.

Dakota moved the legs up higher onto his shoulders as he moved one hand down to reach for his own throbbing pole, to guide it the final few inches towards what they both seemed intent on having, on feeling. His body grew hard with the strain as he felt his penis sliding slowly down the hot valley of Noah’s opened buttocks. The soft flesh seemed to be like a hot desert burning the outer skin of his penis as he felt it slide down the waiting valley and then it found its mark, its special place. He glanced up at Noah, saw him biting his lower lip as he slowly moved the throbbing pole around in a tight circle, gently increased his pressure with each motion, slowly pressing open the protesting muscles around Noah’s special place.

He heard the long aching groan come from Noah’s lips as he continued to rotate his hard throbbing cock around the tiny pink hole, firmly pressing inwards more and more as his eyes began to glaze over. The heat of his desire, his need was making him sweat heavily as he could feel the drops dripping down from his forehead, splattering onto Noah’s shaking belly as his cock head became fully wedged into the tiny hole, the stretched muscle holding it firmly in place, deny it entry as he moved his hand away, his whole body now fully tensed and all of his muscles coiled. Dakota lifted his head up to look deeply into Noah’s face as he began to press forward now, to force his way beyond the gate guard to Noah’s very insides.

His eyes narrowed as his hips moved slowly forward, the huge throbbing penis gradually forcing aside the tight muscles, the very tip finally entering the hot warm tunnel of Noah’s rectum. His mind grew fogged as his eyes glazed over by the new sensations as his entry continued. The shouts not registering as his hips shoved forward more, the ache in his groin growing as the sweat turned into a raging river, the loud sounds of each drop becoming one single thunder clap as his body continued to press inwards, slowly forcing the huge pole inwards, widening Noah’s tight pink hole. Dakota’s thick bulging head continued to press inwards, most of the thick fiery flesh was inside, stretching the opening tunnel of Noah’s body when the harsh cries finally registered and Dakota looked up towards Noah, seeing the eyes shut tight, the hands clenched striking the hard ground in a growing blur. He saw Noah’s mouth open, the sounds coming out starting to finally echo within Dakota’s ears.

Noah “CHRIST IT HURTS, SHIT, STOP, OH GOD PLEASE, IT HURTS TOO MUCH, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP OH CHRIST, IT HURTS TOO MUCH, PLEASE”

Dakota’s body grew rigid with fear as the words penetrated his mind, his body stopped in mid push and he felt a strange icy cold grip creep over his heart as he stared up at Noah’s torture riddled face. His body trembled as he pulled back, bringing his thick throbbing pole away from the sore and tender entry and he heard Noah’s cries, the tears rolling from his eyes and he felt ashamed, saddened even that he hadn’t stopped sooner. He felt devastated as he leaned back and saw Noah’s eyes slowly opening, the tears clouding the powder blue orbs. His face should the heavy streaks that the tears had left, a trail of pain that he, Dakota, had caused and he felt his whole body shudder in utter grief.

Dakota “Noah, I am…”

Noah “Oh God, Dakota…”

Before Dakota could say anything Noah had jumped up, his naked body shaking as he stared for a second at Dakota’s face and then he started to run, or at least he tried to but Dakota could see the panic taking hold and he reached out with one desperate grasp of his hand, grabbing hold of Noah’s thin ankle, holding it in his grip as he stretched out fully on the ground, refusing to let Noah escape his clutches. His whole body ached as it was dragged a few inches before Noah stopped and turned to stare down at Dakota.

His eyes looked like a deer’s eyes when caught in the headlights of oncoming traffic, the fear had taken hold and Dakota could see Noah’s body shake as he held him, kept him from bolting even though that moment had passed. He could see it in the eyes, the way Noah was simply paralysed by the fear inside and it was all his fault, and he felt so angry with himself that he refused to let go of Noah’s leg, holding it tightly as he tried to summon the strength to explain, to apologize.

He couldn’t move, his whole body suddenly felt like it was sinking in a huge bog of quicksand as he stood there, the gentle warm breeze blowing across his naked body doing nothing to aleve the deep sense of shame he felt inside or the deep fear he was feeling. Every part of him felt like it simply wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from Dakota gaze, and yet he couldn’t even stop himself from staring into that warm wonderful face, that face that had captivated him earlier or the look that had melted his heart. He was hooked and he knew that all of his plans, all of his dreams to make this a special weekend for Dakota had suddenly been blown apart by his weakness, by his lack of strength to suffer the pain of entry.

Noah’s body shook as he felt the tears rolling faster down his face and he heard himself sobbing as he shook, standing there naked with Dakota’s hand firmly wrapped around his ankle. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to as the grip was too powerful for his thin body. He didn’t have the muscles nor the will to struggle as he stood there, crying and feeling utterly lost. Everything he had wanted was there, everything he had ever dreamed about was about to begin happening and he had blown it, he had ruined it by being a coward, by begging for Dakota to stop when he should have bit his lip and taken it, ignored somehow the excruciating pain that had lanced upwards into his whole body as his rectum was slowly being ripped open by Dakota’s huge pole.

The harsh pain that he had been feeling was still there, a bit dulled as his body adjusted but it still felt it even though Dakota had pulled out, had stopped and it made him feel even more ashamed, knowing how much Dakota wanted him and how much he had disappointed him. There was no hiding from the guilt he felt as he stood there, waiting for Dakota to say what he knew was coming, to tell him that it was all a mistake and that it was all over. Everything was gone in that brief moment when he thought he couldn’t take another second of the screaming pain that had filled his young virgin body and had screamed for Dakota to stop. It was all over and the emptiness began to eat away at him as he stared at the grass, seeing the deep green blades shimmer and blur from the tears that filled his eyes. Noah couldn’t take it anymore, his body was too riddled by guilt as he slowly lowered himself to sit on the cool grass, his head now buried deep into his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably.

As Noah slowly settled onto the grass, Dakota felt the fear rising up inside of him as with each sob that came from Noah’s lips, he felt a piece of his heart rip and shred itself. This was his doing, his fault and he didn’t know how to make it up to the boy sitting there, crying into his arms. His body ached from the guilt he felt as he pulled himself upright a bit, sitting cross legged now across from Noah’s sobbing frame and he felt lost, helpless even as he tried to think of something he could say or do that would ease Noah’s pain. This was his fault, he shouldn’t have rushed into this, but Noah had seemed like he was ready, had seemed like it was what he had desired but he should have known that Noah was only doing it because he thought it was what he, Dakota, had wanted.

Dakota “Please don’t cry Noah, please, I am sorry”

Noah “your sorry?”

Dakota “I am, honest, I didn’t mean to hurt you, please don’t cry, I am so so sorry, please”

Noah didn’t understand for a moment or two what Dakota was saying, the pain of his own stupidity still filling him with nothing but regrets too strong to let the words penetrate, but the warm glow on his knee began to over power the feelings that were holding him captive. His head came up to see Dakota’s hand resting lightly on the top of his knee and he quickly raised his head to gaze up into Dakota’s face.

Noah “You didn’t do anything, it is me, I…”

Dakota “I shouldn’t have pushed you to do it, I am sorry Noah, please, don’t hate me”

Noah “You didn’t push me, I wanted to, really I did”

Dakota “You did? But, I mean I hurt you, you are crying, I didn’t want to make you cry, honest”

Noah “I know, it isn’t your fault, it’s mine, it was just, I mean, I never thought it would feel like that, I panicked I guess.”

Dakota “You mean that? I mean, why didn’t you say something sooner? I didn’t need to do it, there are lots of other things we could have done, I should have, shit you told me you never had done it and I should have prepared you better, it isn’t your fault, it’s mine for being too damn…”

Noah “That’s not true Dakota, honest, I should have said something I guess, just that, well, I didn’t want to ruin things, guess I blew that though huh?”

He could see the way Noah was looking at him, see the hope that filled his eyes as he waited for Dakota to say something, to maybe do something even and as he stared at Noah he realized that Noah did want him, in every way but that he just wasn’t sure how to go about it. It struck him as he remembered his first time, the way Montana took so much time in working him first, in preparing him and he felt the guilt inside grow because it was what he too should have done, instead he let himself get caught up in the moment, get wrapped up in what he wanted instead of thinking of what Noah needed. The pain inside only hurt more now as he realized that as much as Noah said it wasn’t his fault, he knew better.

There was nothing he could do about what had happened, but he could do things differently next time and as he looked up, stared back at Noah’s face he knew that they would have a next time because in Noah’s face he saw the truth, saw the deep love that Noah had for him and he shivered a little, recognizing that look as one that he had only seen once before, the time he had stared up into Montana’s face that first and only time that they had joined together and become almost one. It was the same look of devotion and he moved over to sit by Noah’s side and he reached out with his hand now, taking Noah’s trembling sweaty hand into his and holding it gently in his lap.

Dakota “Well, guess we’ll have something juicy to tell the grandkids about huh?”

He wasn’t sure he heard Dakota right but as he glanced over and upward into Dakota’s face he saw the truth. There was a strange dark glow deep within Dakota’s brown eyes, a sort of glimmer of light that made his eyes seem almost like melted chocolate and the small little grin around his lips made Noah’s heart skip a beat or two.

Noah “Grandkids?”

Dakota “Why not? Some things may change, but I know that how I feel for you, right now, this very minute, that will never change Noah, it will be this way for as long as you want to be a part of my life, hell I’ll always feel this way about you, no matter what ever happens.”

Noah “Even if, I mean, what if I never can, uh, what if…”

Dakota could feel the nervousness and he noticed the quick glance that Noah took of his softening groin and in his heart he knew that one day, maybe sooner than they both realized, they would pick up where they left off only a short time ago. Even if they didn’t, he knew in his heart that Noah meant much more to him than a lay, than a mere sex partner.

Dakota “What if you are never comfortable in taking me inside of you?”

Noah “Yeah”

Dakota “We’ll find other ways to express how we feel, okay?”

Noah “I guess, if you say so”

Dakota “I do… but there is one thing Noah”

Noah “What’s that?”

Dakota “Don’t ever run away from me, please, I couldn’t live for a second if you left me, so promise me, no matter what, you won’t run away from me? Please, promise me that, okay?”

Noah looked deeply into Dakota’s face and he saw that it was the truth, that Dakota really meant it and as he heard the words reverberate inside his head, he felt the strength of Dakota as he clasped his hand tighter, holding it firmly in his own and he looked down, seeing the softened flesh of Dakota’s penis, knowing that he would know how it felt inside of him, no longer feeling the fear of the pain that it had brought him and would bring him next time, because Dakota did care, did want him for him, not just for some tryst in the woods or cheap affair, but wanted him in a special way, the way he so fervently wanted Dakota.

“I promise”

 

Chapter 4

Saturday

8:14 a.m.

Noah stared at his reflection in the mirror, knowing it was useless, the damn zit was still there despite the scrubbing and the constant application of that stupid zit cream stuff he used. He saw his eyes narrow as he stared at himself, wondering if he wasn’t being stupid, after all he was only 16 and you were supposed to have zits, just that why now? Couldn’t it have waited till next week to pop up? Christ Dakota wouldn’t want to kiss a face that had zits would he, but then he had barely had time to talk with him ever since he had shown up that night.

They had talked briefly since that night, and he wondered, staring at the mirror, if maybe he had been wrong, maybe he had only thought he had seen what he had seen or maybe Dakota had changed his mind? Maybe he had decided it wasn’t worth the risk but then he would have cancelled today, wouldn’t he? His head shook and he saw the fear in his own eyes, the fear that he had already failed to measure up to what Dakota had expected, but then, maybe he was just being stupid? Maybe he was just too nervous, expecting too much and maybe that was scaring Dakota off too? It could be, after all Dakota was, well, he was hot and he, Noah, wasn’t, so why should he be interested?

Christ he was feeling weird, his palms were sweating and he wasn’t going to meet Dakota till 4, and he leaned back on the wall, staring at his face, staring at the zit and way his face looked so ordinary. He sighed, knowing that it wasn’t Dakota’s fault they hadn’t had time together, after all he did have an image to keep up and Noah understood that. Last thing he wanted was for anyone to suspect anything about them, even if they already suspected him, he couldn’t let them get wise to Dakota. It was bad enough that some thought he was queer, Christ it would be impossible if they knew for sure.

Lunch was the worse, he had to sit there listening to Marvin whining about something or other, or worse sit alone while ‘the group’ surrounded Dakota and he could see how he was being drooled over by every cheerleader and girl in school. He had that look, the same look he thought Rusty had, but with Dakota it was different, more intense really. He could see too that Rusty wasn’t exactly pleased, no longer number one but he had to give the guy credit, he didn’t seem to let it bother him but every now and then, Noah could see the way Rusty’s eyes would flare, a sort of hatred in them that scared Noah. He never thought Rusty was that way, but then how would he know? He was never popular, he was the funny kid who dressed up in girls clothes for plays and stuff, he wasn’t the super jock or anything, but there was something in Rusty’s eyes that made Noah keep his distance.

As much as he had wanted to talk with Dakota, each morning at the locker or after classes or during lunch break, Rusty seemed to be there, watching, and staring and yet not staring. It was like he was spying on Dakota, trying to figure him out and he could see that Dakota didn’t even notice it. Yet as much as he tried to be careful, he couldn’t help but feel all giddy each time Dakota would walk up to the locker, or each time he would see him standing there. He was like a Greek God that they had learned about in English, the way he just looked so, well, so commanding. Seeing him each morning was like a whole new experience for him and he had to admit, seeing Dakota’s eyes light up, seeing him smile and speak to him was enough to keep him going in dreamland for the day, which was another problem he had to come to terms with.

He had already been spoken to about his sudden lack of attention in class, and he knew that he hadn’t done well on the pop quiz on Friday, but that was then, today was his time and he could feel his legs getting wobbly even though his dick was rock hard, again. Christ that too was becoming a problem, because each time he would think about Dakota, which was almost constantly, he would get a hard on, he would think back to the night, the way Dakota looked, naked and with that monster dick staring at him. Christ he still could feel the fear he felt then, and yet he also felt the excitement of it too.

Strange, but he could think of virtually nothing else but what it would feel like to have Dakota inside of him, and he had wondered if he would scream, or would he cry like a baby? Every time he thought about it, his ass felt weird too like it knew what he was planning and was just as uncertain about it as he was, and yet at times it itched so much, like it was really wanting it. He knew it was just nerves, yet it felt real to him, it really did feel like it was itching and as he wiped the lock of hair from his face, he saw the blush on his face, realizing the stupid things he had done this week.

His hand moved down his flat stomach, feeling the press of his dick against his jeans as he felt that ache there again, knowing that what he really wanted to do was to unzip his pants and just jerk off but he had made up his mind last night, no touching, no hand jobs in case it would make him soft when he wanted to be hard, when Dakota would need him hard. Damn, just thinking of it and he could feel his dick moving inside his pants, the fresh new boxer’s bit stiff but no where near as stiff as his cock was feeling. Maybe it would be okay if he did jerk off now? Hell it was early enough, still, if he did and then what would happen later, would he still be able to or worse, would he maybe shoot early again, or maybe not at all? He had heard about that, that some of those who did the porn took forever to cum because they did it so much, or at least that was what Marvin had said, but he always came up with weird little comments.

Noah knew it was crazy to be this way, that he would do okay, or at least he kept telling himself that, telling himself that Dakota wasn’t the type to make a big deal out of him being a rookie, and he had shown he cared, least he thought he had, or was he just being nice? Was all this just that, was it that maybe Dakota had been lonely or was it what he had thought? Thinking back he could still see the way Dakota would smile at him, a sort of smile that said more than just ‘hi’ but then maybe he was doing his normal routine, making mountains out of molehills? His mother sure seemed to think he did a lot of that, so did his dad but then it had been ages since they had been his age, besides things were different these days.

Looking at the mirror and seeing his expression, he wondered why Dakota even bothered with him? He wasn’t good looking, his hair didn’t look great, his face was thin and angular even, his nose was way too small and hell his ears were more like a girls than a guy’s, so why the fuck would Dakota want him? It just didn’t make sense unless it simply was that he was available, that he was ‘one’ that Dakota knew about. Maybe if he found some one else better looking he’d have cancelled, but it wasn’t easy to find that kind of stuff out, so maybe that was why tonight was still on?

Looking at his reflection he could feel the doubts raging inside, his mind continued to keep on throwing up things, to harp on his imperfections that he knew were glaring and yet somehow, deep inside the voice kept telling his mind to frig off, to take a hike and as it spoke, his heart kept beating stronger with anticipation and desire. Funny how suddenly he could feel all this turmoil inside, all this sort of confusion and yet deep down he knew that tonight was important, that it was something special that would change his whole life. He knew inside that if he chickened out as his thoughts kept urging, that he would never be totally happy.

Funny, looking at himself this way, he noticed how his hand had crept down into his jeans, how his fingers were already running along his hard cock, and it was more like instinct than anything else at how much he really wanted to be with Dakota, under any terms, any conditions. Maybe it was like his head kept saying, that he was just horny and wanted to get fucked or maybe it was like he felt inside, that it was something special, that there was more to being with Dakota than just getting laid, that maybe those little glances, those little smiles were more than a come on, were a signal of something much much more?

His resolve grew stronger as he looked into his own eyes; saw the doubts but also the desire. He pulled his hand out from his pants, and looked deeply at his reflection, deciding that this time, he’d let the voices deep down have their way, ignoring the pleas of his mind. As the decision grew within he felt a strange sense of calm come over him and he walked out of his bathroom to stare over at his unkempt bed, still able to see Dakota’s silhouette on top, the way he had been when he had woken up Tuesday morning, the way he had felt and Noah breathed in deeply, smelling that strange sweet fragrance that was Dakota. It was unnerving how he could still smell it, and even though his mom had washed and changed the sheets he could still smell him, as if it was a scent that now belonged to him.

As much as he hoped and prayed he still felt the twinge of nervousness inside as he surveyed his room, wondering what it would be like to be sharing all this with someone else. The dream that he had and that Dakota seemed to also have was still fresh in his mind, it was something he couldn’t shake and even though his thoughts started out differently each night since, they always came back to that, to the two of them in a small room, only a bed in the room but it felt right, it felt as if it was where he belonged. He shuddered a little, feeling the stiffness in his groin and the itch in his buttocks.

1:34 p.m.

He stared out at the parking lot, sipping his cold can of pop and watching the people as they rushed around the lot. Some where leaving, others arriving and yet they all seemed to be in a hurry, always walking a little bit faster, always tugging on the kids arms, hurrying them along and he wondered why? They really weren’t going to get anywhere all that quicker, they weren’t going to miss any big bargain if they were a few seconds longer in getting into the stores, so why the rush? Funny, he used to do that, run all the time but that all changed now, and he felt the loneliness creep back inside. His hand tightened on the can, feeling the soft aluminium sides giving to his pressure and his eyes were blank as he felt that hitch come back to his throat, that little nagging itch that really wasn’t an itch, but a reminder.

His dark hair flowed around his face as the wind kicked up a little, a bit of chill in the afternoon’s air but he hardly noticed it as he stared out at the parking lot, seeing nothing of the people anymore, instead thinking back to when things were different, when he wasn’t this empty, this alone. There were times, like now, when he thought he could still feel Montana’s breath on his cheeks or hear his laughter as they threw the football around the back yard. He could even hear his father’s voice booming on a Sunday, calling them to come watch the game on television but all that was gone now, his father was rarely home, working as many hours as he could get in, his mother spending the weekends doing things that would normally have been done during the week if she hadn’t been at work till 7 or 8 each night.

Dakota dug his hand into his pants pocket, pulling out the ten-dollar bill, a gift from his sister and he felt the tears coming, wishing them back, desperate to hold onto his composure. Strange how she had been able to read his mind, to know that he was feeling scared and yet in her own way, he knew that she too was scared. The way she had silently entered his bedroom this morning, standing quietly next to his bed until he finally sensed her presence and woke up to see her. She had looked so scared that for a minute he thought that something was wrong with his mom or father but as she handed him the folded money, speaking softly he knew it wasn’t them but him that she was worried about.

He had refused the money but she had insisted, saying it was from tips she had saved up and then she had blown him away as she wanted to know if he had condoms. How the hell did she know about that stuff and yet he knew the answer even before it was framed in his mind. How could anyone in their family not know about condoms these days, and he sighed, wishing for a moment that things could go back to simpler times, when all he worried about was skinning his knee playing catch with Montana and his dad. Funny how determined she was to know the answer too, and she wasn’t satisfied until he had shown her the small packages in his night table, and only then was she satisfied. She told him the money was to buy his friend something, to maybe get some snacks for later and he felt her love then, knowing how hard it was for her too. They had hugged each other for several minutes in the morning and he knew that he would not spend the money, well at least not all of it.

Thinking about it he wondered what Noah would think once he saw their house. It wasn’t a bad home really, even though everyone worked the place was clean and it did have a sort of warmth to it, but it had a great deal of sadness too. Maybe Noah would see it and run, just like he wanted to that night he saw Dakota’s naked body but then he was coming tonight, so maybe there was hope? He felt uneasy, wondering if he was doing the right thing or was he just feeling sorry for himself again? He shook his head a little, trying to toss away all the fears and doubts that he was feeling, wishing that he could talk to Montana but there just wasn’t time for that, not today as he was working till 3:30 and Noah was coming here, to the mall at 4pm so there just wasn’t time. He sighed, knowing that nothing would change anyways, that no matter how much he hoped it would, it just wasn’t going to and he stood up, draining the last drops from the can and then headed to the store, to get his nickel for the can and to get back to work. Whatever else had happened, at least he knew that he could survive just about anything, but was that really something he wanted to know at 16?

Rosalie Northwood was checking the appointment book at the desk, and she had seen her son sitting there, so alone, so much in pain that her own heart forgot its troubles and ached for him. She saw how he sat and then how he looked, tossing his dark hair to one side as he turned to head back to work. It wasn’t fair, she thought, as she ticked off the name of one person and then saw that she had a new client at 4pm for a cut and trim. Her mind couldn’t really focus as the name sounded familiar and yet wasn’t but her eyes were drawn to the tall young boy outside, the way he stood there, his body erect as he headed back to the grocery store. She knew how much he wanted to be elsewhere, and yet too she was proud of him, of the way he never complained about having to work, not showing a seconds hesitation when he would sign over his paycheque to her and her husband, his way he said of helping out, of doing what was right.

The pain in her heart was almost unbearable each time he would hand her the cheque, each time he would look into her eyes or into Gary’s face, and she knew how her husband would hate it, would barely manage to look back into his son’s face, wishing he could simply push the hand back, push the money away but they had no choices, they needed it and so their pride had to suffer. She knew how much it was killing Gary, how much it ate at his very soul that he needed the money from his wife and his young children to just survive. Rosalie didn’t know how much longer they could go on this way, how much longer any of them could continue to take the abuse and suffering of their existence but maybe there was hope, at least a chance of hope?

Seeing Dakota heading back, the empty pop can in his hand instead of already being tossed, she wondered if maybe their pride was something too costly, something that they should have put aside a long time ago or maybe it was all that was keeping them going now? She didn’t know but as she followed Dakota back to the store with her eyes she felt his pain, knowing that his heart ached and that something was up. He had been more moody all week, and it wasn’t like to him to have disappeared like he had Monday evening, but he wouldn’t say much, except that he had made a new friend. She had known, by the way his eyes had looked that this was something unlike the others, this was something she had rarely seen in his face but one she recognized from Montana’s face a few times. Her heart grew still as the fear was reaching for her, the panic was within striking distance, as she knew they couldn’t afford another battle like the one they had has with Montana. It was still too fresh, the fights, the shouts, the screams, and then the final blows, all of which only made her heart ache more. No, they couldn’t go thru that again and she wondered what Gary would say, or would he even speak? Would he remember the bitter fights he had with Montana when now there was no Montana to fight with? Would he still feel that way about them or had he changed too? He was so quiet these days, so pained and yet he never spoke about it, never talked to her about how he felt, and that too worried her as she turned away from the big window, to get back to work and to try and let her pain dull for a few more minutes.

Turning away she saw her daughter staring at her and she smiled, trying to hide her troubled thoughts from showing, but she knew that Arizona had seen them. It was hard enough to try to keep it from Gary and even Dakota, but somehow Arizona always seemed to know, always seemed to be able to see past her smiling face to the deep hole in her heart and yet as she looked at Arizona, she saw a strange warmth, a sort of compassion that was rare to find anywhere, never mind in a 15 year old girl. Her head tilted to one side, and Rosalie smiled as she headed to her customer under the dryer, patting Arizona’s shoulder as she went past, feeling her daughters hand touch hers and for that brief moment, it was almost as if they could see the pain they both had. Her heart trembled, as she knew that Arizona was frightened too but like her mother, was putting on a brave face.

As her mother passed by she could feel her pain, and she wished she could make it easier, knowing though that there really wasn’t much she could do. Everything had changed so quickly for her that she still didn’t quite understand it all, except that everyone seemed so sad all the time, so unhappy and yet in some ways, they were closer than ever and yet even more distant. Hard to say which it was at times, like this morning she had never felt closer to Dakota than when she had made him show her that he had condoms, so that he would be safe and when they hugged, she could feel his love for her, almost like when Montana would reach down and toss her into the air when she had been little, but that would never be anymore. She sighed as she finished her chores; her quitting time almost here and it was up to her to get dinner ready for tonight, something she was actually looking forward to.

She knew it would be a surprise to everyone, but she had saved up from her tips at the shop and even by giving Dakota the ten dollars she still had enough left over to plan her surprise for dinner. Maybe it wasn’t much but she wanted Dakota to be happy, to not be embarrassed with his guest so she had it all planned out. Besides if her parents got upset about it she’d just claim it was an early birthday gift for Dakota, which should solve that little problem. Funny though, she could remember a time when dinner was something a lot different than it was now, when spaghetti night was always with meat sauce and meatballs, not watered down tomato paste as it was now, well usually but not tonight. Tonight she had splurged and bought hamburger, onions, and even a can of spaghetti sauce to put in with the tomato paste. This would at least be a normal meal, and she knew it would last, that even with Noah coming for dinner they’d have enough for tomorrow too plus she had her best surprise of all, home made brownies. They rarely had any dessert but tonight was important, she could tell that Dakota really liked Noah and more than that, she knew that Noah liked Dakota, and it was important to her that they have a good time together, that for a change Dakota got to laugh a little, got to be 16 for a change.

Arizona put her stuff away, making sure that everything was were it was supposed to be and then she went to get out of her smock, to count her tips for the day and then head off to go home and get dinner started. She really rather enjoyed her Saturdays, it was a chance for her to feel more useful, more of a help to everyone than normal, like when her mother had to take to her to the clinic for her check ups, for the waiting in line to get her medication instead of being able to just go to the drugstore to get them, but Saturdays were different, that was when she could do stuff for them, and it felt good too.

She counted the change out, seeing the few crumpled bills and she smiled, realizing that it had been a better day than normal, that she had an extra $4 to spend and she wondered if maybe she’d get some of that fancy French bread or maybe there was something else she could get. Her eyes were full of life as she stepped outside, to decide if she should run over to the grocery store for a few extra things or head straight home when she spotted the two boys. Her heart was filled with plans for tonight and she didn’t really give it much thought as she started to walk towards the grocery store when it hit her. Those boys, they were from the new school and one of them she really didn’t like all that much, and the other was sort of okay or at least seemed so. Why where they here she wondered, knowing that they were the type who wouldn’t be in this part of town without a reason, it just wasn’t their normal hangout and she stopped, to stare at Hector and Rusty, a strange feeling of unease creeping inside her heart.

2:08 p.m.

Rusty “So he works here, what’s the big deal Hec?”

Hector “Don’t you think its weird man? I mean what’s he doing working anyhow?”

Rusty “Hey not everyone’s dad can be a big shot real estate salesman”

Hector “Hey, your dad isn’t exactly a slouch, but its weird man, I mean the guy never shows up to any of the after school we invite him too, don’t you think its weird?”

Rusty “Little I guess, but shit man, cut him some slack, the guy is new”

Hector “Yeah well I did some checking, he was the same back at his old school, never really socialized”

Rusty “So? What’s the big deal? He still was damn good to get MVP at the basketball finals”

Hector “Yeah, but I mean, I don’t know man, it’s just strange is all”

Rusty looked around at the mall, not one of the town’s more modern shopping centres and it looked it too. He felt kind of creepy being here, not really liking the place one bit, but Hector had insisted and Hector was always good for some fun, but lately he was becoming way too much of a red neck, even for Rusty’s tastes. He glanced at the busy parking lot, seeing all the old cars and trucks and he realized that there were really very few newer cars around. Even his older car was newer than most in the lot and he felt sort of uneasy, feeling uncomfortable in this part of town.

Rusty “Uh huh, what’s really got your shorts in a knot is you can’t stand it that Sheila might be setting her sights on him”

Hector “Yeah well you wouldn’t like it if Karen was drooling over him, now would you?”

He stared at Hector, looking him squarely in the eyes and he saw something that made him blink. He never realized before how much anger Hector had inside, and looking at him now he saw that his friend had changed a lot over the years and it sent a shiver down his spine, making him shiver a little and raising warning flags inside. He chose his words carefully, wondering what really was bugging Hector.

Rusty “No, I’d most likely kick his ass but then Karen and I are still together, so that’s a lot different Hec”

Hector “Yeah well, just cause we are temporarily not officially together, still doesn’t give him any right”

Rusty “Christ man, listen to you, like she’s the only girl out there?”

Hector “No, but she did put out, and it was good, besides, she knows a girl this Dakota dude dated”

Rusty “So?”

Hector “So? So she said some strange stuff, kind of makes a guy wonder, ya know?”

Rusty “What kind of stuff?”

Hector “Stuff, like he wasn’t into doing it all that much, though the way Sheila said it, the guy is hung like a fucking horse, which is why she has her eyes on him, the fucking bitch”

Rusty “Shit so that’s what this is about, he’s got a bigger dick than you and you can’t stand it, fuck man, you need some serious help”

Hector “Fuck off Rusty, ain’t like that at all, besides, I just don’t like him”

Rusty “God man you don’t even know him, just cause he isn’t from our side of town no reason to hate the dude”

Hector “Ain’t that, I don’t know, maybe its just cause he’s sharing a locker with that pansy Collins”

Rusty “Fuck man you really got it out for him, just out of curiosity what is it about Collins that has you steamed at him? He try to date you or something?”

Hector’s whole body became rigid and Rusty could see the way he was clenching his fists and letting them hit the side of his legs. There was no doubt that he had hit a sore spot in Hector’s armour and he wondered more and more about his friend, wondering just what was it that made him so angry, so ready to explode? He felt a strange sense of fear creeping into his thoughts, something he wasn’t used to. He usually had the answers but lately he was finding that Hector was like a loose cannon and he knew that one day he would just go off on someone and he did not want to be there then. He saw Hector’s eyes, the colour drained and a sort of deep darkness came over them, making the fear in his mind grow.

Hector “FUCK OFF!”

Rusty “Christ he didn’t did he? Come on to you I mean? No fucking way dude, he’s too much of a wimp to do that shit…”

Hector “No it isn’t that, I don’t like him, him and all those other fag types, man don’t they creep you out too?”

Rusty “Yeah but shit, long as they keep it to themselves it don’t bug me, well not that much, now that Marvin thing, he’s a different story, he’s really off the wall, but I don’t know, you really think Collins is one too?”

Hector “Christ you have to ask? You saw how he looked dressed up as a broad, fuck he was better looking than some of the girls we got on the cheerleaders”

Rusty had to admit that Hector was right on that score. Noah did look a damn sight better than some of the girls in school but as much as he didn’t care for fags he still wasn’t totally convinced that Noah was one. He might be a wimp and all and he might look like a girl at times, but shit, there were others who had that look too and it didn’t make them queer, least not so he knew. Staring over at Hector’s face he saw the cheeks growing redder, saw the eyes glazing over and he knew that for whatever reason, Hector really had a mad on for fags. Well it was no skin off his ass, he didn’t exactly care for them himself.

Rusty “Yeah well, don’t tell them that, but so he looked good in a dress, doesn’t make him queer”

Hector “Get off it, you know damn well he’s a piss ant faggot, the way he looks at you some times, the way he is always staring at the floor in the locker room, you know damn well he’s one”

He had to agree there with Hector, the guy did look at him strange at times, usually when he was at the locker getting stuff or such, but he kind of thought it was because he was who he was, not that Noah had some sort of crush on him. God, just the thought was kind of creepy and he didn’t like it one bit. His own face became a bit darker, as he wondered if maybe Hector was right, if maybe Noah was one of them?

Rusty “I suppose, still, no reason to be so damn hostile all the time, besides you got him good with that paint on his locker, that should be enough to satisfy you”

Hector “Haha, yeah that did kind of get his attention didn’t it? Still don’t know how you got the paint in though…”

Rusty “That’s my business, besides you have him still looking over his shoulder all the time man, that should be enough for you”

Hector “I don’t know, suppose, but he is friendly with that Dakota dude and him I really ain’t too sure of, MVP or not”

Rusty “So what the fuck does it matter? If you want Shelia back, duking it out with Dakota ain’t gonna help, besides you don’t even know if the guy is interested in her or not, this will only get you in more shit with her.”

Hector “No, maybe, I don’t know man, but I need to do something”

There were times when he wondered why he bothered associating with Hector but then the guy did have his uses at times. It was always good policy to have someone who resembled an animal around, you never knew when you might need the backup and as his eyes stared out at the parking lot, he felt a whole lot better knowing he was with Hector right now than say a pansy like Noah, still, it had kind of bugged him seeing Noah all in tears when he saw his locker last year. He had to admit that the joke was a bit much but everyone it seemed got a good kick out of it, so maybe Noah reacted too much, and maybe Hec was right, maybe the guy was a queer, after all no real guy would bawl his eyes out like that, would they?

Looking at Hector he knew that if he let him to his own design there would most likely be a big battle and the new kid wouldn’t even know what it was about, and he didn’t need any complications right now, not this early on in the year. Besides, if Hector got tossed for fighting, he’d need to do some fancy footwork for some of the things he had planned for later on in the year. Hector did have his uses even if he was a damn bull in a china shop.

Rusty “Look, why not let me talk to him? Maybe I can sort of see if he’s interested in her, and if he is maybe talk him out of it, how’s that sound?”

Hector “I don’t know, think he’d listen?”

Rusty “Hey worth a shot and if he does, well then you aren’t in the doghouse with Sheila”

Hector “Makes sense, when?”

Rusty “Jesus, you really want her that bad?”

Hector “No, just that, I want to get fucked man, she’s good in bed, she knows what I like”

Rusty “Shit is that all you think about? Getting your damn dick wet?”

Hector “Hey what can I say, I am all man dude, and don’t act like you don’t think about it either”

Rusty “Yeah but shit, not every fucking minute”

Hector “No? Just every other fucking minute?”

Rusty “Jesus Hector, it’s not like you haven’t had any since you broke up with Sheila”

Hector “Yeah so?”

Rusty “I swear, you live to play football and screw girls”

Hector “Hey don’t forget I like to party too”

Rusty “Yeah but that’s just so you can screw girls man”

Hector “Never heard you complain about it, so? You gonna go in and talk to him or what?”

The way Hector said it made his skin crawl, and he stared at his friend, wondering just how much would Hector keep quiet if the shit ever hit the fan? Would he squeal like a stuck pig or would he keep his mouth shut? He didn’t like having someone like Hector have a hold over him and yet at the same time he knew he didn’t have much of a choice, and he did admit, it was rather fun at times. Hell it was fun all the time and he knew that as long as Hector played it cool, then they were safe but lately, he wasn’t too sure if Hector could play it cool. His eyes narrowed a little as he thought about how he could extradite himself from this mess but then the throb in his crotch told him that he wasn’t exactly in the mood to pull out of the deal just yet, not with a whole year ahead of high school.

Rusty “Christ… Okay why don’t you go cool your jets and I’ll go and see if I can’t set something up, okay?”

Hector “Thanks, I owe you one”

Rusty “Fuck you owe me a damn sight more than one dude”

Hector “Yeah well you can collect at the party tonight if you want”

Rusty “Oh? You bringing some treats are you?”

Hector “Depends, might, all I know is I need to get fucked man, one way or another its happening tonight”

Rusty “Yeah well, don’t let Shelia catch you or no way you ever going to get back together”

Hector “Yeah, that’s why I said it depends”

Rusty “Sheila going to the party?”

Hector “Not sure, tried to find out but she won’t talk, she might if that Dakota is there, but last I heard he had backed out, said he had to work late or some shit like that”

Rusty “Oh? Well then, should be a fun time, that new girl, the transfer from up state, she’s going”

Hector “Oh? She is hot man”

Rusty “Don’t I know it, think maybe I’ll bring along a few extra little pals if you are bringing the treats”

Hector “Christ, why do you bother with that man, not like you screwing some hooker or anything, and hell they are all on the pill”

Rusty “Yeah but you never know, I don’t like leaving any calling cards like you man”

Hector “Fuck that, I just don’t like the way it feels wearing those damn things, besides it’s a pain in the ass to have to stop and put them on, and its for queers anyways, or dumb ass chicks who forget to take the pill”

Rusty “Yeah well, you never know, I kind of don’t feel like waking up with some fucking itch on my dick, and not like they are going anywhere”

Hector “yeah well you bring what you want, I’ll stick to doing it the old fashioned way man, besides, feels a damn sight better without that plastic crap around my pole”

Rusty “Suit yourself dude”

Hector “Karen not going tonight?”

Rusty “Nope, she’s gotta babysit tonight, told her I’d pop over later on though”

Hector “Christ and he says I am a pig? Just how much do you want in a night?”

Rusty “Fuck man, she doesn’t put out every time, not like Sheila”

Hector “Yeah, she is one horny broad, speaking of that, you going?”

Rusty “Yeah okay, cool your heels man, and you owe me man, big time”

Hector “Like I said, you can collect at the party, with what’s her name? Haha”

Rusty “Corin or something like that, I swear though, one day you are gonna get nailed”

Hector “Nah, never happen dude, I make damn sure of that.”

Rusty “Yeah, still, you never know, why I use a condom, less chance of being connected to it dude”

Hector “Shit you watch way too much television man, so? I wanna get out of this dump, shake a leg okay?”

Maybe he did but as he shrugged his shoulders he knew that at least he was safe, assuming Hector kept his yap shut if caught and as he stared at his friend, there was a glint in Hector’s eyes that made him shiver a bit more. He knew that he was getting out of his league and he also realized that as much as he loved the extra fun that he had, thanks to Hector’s treats, it was getting time to get out of it all, but the question was going to be, how? Well, he’d leave that for another time, tonight hopefully he’d be busy enjoying Corin and then off to Karen, who knows maybe it would be a double pleasure tonight?

Rusty “Okay, back in a few”

Hector moved over to the small group of tables and sat down, staring at Rusty who shrugged his shoulders and turned away, heading towards the grocery store. He knew that Hector was crazy and yet he could feel the excitement building up inside of himself. He was starting to look forward to the party tonight and he hoped that what Hector had said was true, that Dakota wasn’t going because it would mean that Sheila would be there and that would cramp his mood and his style. That Corin chick sure was hot and he was itching to see how hot but if Sheila showed up he’d have to cool it, she was good friends with Karen and no way did he want to risk that for a one night romp, even if she was Pamela Lee herself.

Rusty had disappeared inside the large store and Hector leaned back, his elbows resting on the table as he stared at the shabby grocery store. The place really bugged him and he couldn’t wait to get out of here. So far everything was going as he had planned, knowing that Rusty would intercede for him, which was cool. He really wasn’t into battling with Dakota, the guy looked too lean, to hungry and one thing he had learned, never tangle with someone who has nothing to lose. His dad had taught him that one, and he had a few knocks on the side of his head to show for not listening but one thing about him, he wasn’t the stupid jock that everyone thought. Hector saw Dakota as a threat but not one he could attack face to face, this way he’d let Rusty do his dirty work and let the super star think he was pulling his balls out of the fire. It worked for him and he smiled a little, waiting, knowing that Dakota would be easy to take down if he got in his way, as long as he kept things cool. His eyes narrowed as he glanced at his watch; seeing that time was moving ahead and he still had things to do, especially if he wanted to have another good time tonight at the party. Man, chemistry was not his long suit but it sure did help a guy out and he smiled a bit wider, a grin that made a few people stare as they passed by.

3:35 p.m.

Carefully he added up the hours, taking the half hour and the 15 minutes off and then he subtracted the extra 15 minutes that he had spent with Rusty and wrote down the final number on the small space on the calendar. He looked at it, mentally adding together the time and he felt a little dejected, realizing that he was short this period of at least 3 hours. He grimaced a bit, wondering if maybe there was a way he could work extra to make up for it but he knew there wasn’t. Dakota sighed as he realized that he’d just have to cut back on his expenses, maybe cut down on lunches for the next week, that would save him close to half, but then he had to take into account the extra gas he was using, going to school, which made him remember earlier.

The frown grew on his face as he remembered how surprised he was to suddenly turn around and see Rusty standing there. There was something about the guy that made him wary, and yet everyone at the new school kept saying how nice Rusty was, but he could see something that they didn’t, which was his eyes, the way they looked past you at times and other times the way they seemed to just pierce you, trying to find out things he had no business wanting to know. He felt clammy as he walked towards his locker, to put away his red apron that he had to wear when on the floor. He saw that it was nearing time to get it washed again and for a second or two he thought he should maybe take it home but then he remembered Noah was coming and he doubted if he’d have the time to any laundry before his next shift.

Standing at his locker, he saw the small photograph pinned to the inside of the locker door, the image of two smiling faces peered out at him and his heart began to ache once more, tears welled up near the corners of his eyes as he looked at the picture, seeing his own smiling face and wondering if he’d ever feel that happy again, knowing that the hole inside would never truly ever be filled, even if he did find someone. The other face stared at him, a hint of a smile on his face, a glint even in his eyes and Dakota felt pain even more as he looked into Montana’s face, seeing him as only he could, and he felt the loss even more now than when he had seen the last rise of Montana’s chest.

He sat down on the wooden bench, feeling the pain taking hold of his body, feeling it constrict his muscles and make him shake a little. The sight of that afternoon rising upwards to fill his vision, the bed with the curtains drawn around and his parents standing off to one side, his sister at the foot of the bed and he at the other end. He could see the way his brother’s sunken eyes looked at them all and even in those last few minutes, he was defiant almost as he stared at them, then the small smile came and he could even now hear his mother’s cries as she held his hand and then the surprise registered again as he saw his fathers face, the tears rolling down his cheeks and the deep gut wrenching sobs as he cried, bending down and kissing Montana’s forehead, wiping the sweat soaked hair back, looking into his eyes and his mouth moved but no words would come and yet as Dakota watched, he could see that at last there was peace between Montana and his father.

Arizona had cried, running to place her head in their mother’s chest, as the final moments came. Dakota stared up at the photograph, seeing that same look and the image shimmered in the pale light of the back room, the image seeming to dance a little as it all flashed before him once more, just as intense, just as real as the actual moment had been. He felt Montana’s hand clasping his suddenly and he could see the white ashen face turn slowly, the pain etched across the face despite all the morphine that he had taken and as he watched, he saw the eyes open wide, staring fully into his own eyes. He shivered now, knowing what was coming, powerless to turn away, helpless to prevent the memory from once more taking hold of him and he felt the slowing beat of his heart, felt the hole beginning to form in his heart just as it had that day.

The room had lost its shape and all he could see was Montana’s eyes, the way they stared into his and for a brief time, second or minutes he wasn’t sure which, they felt each other’s heart. His wishing it could reach out and beat for Montana, Montana’s touching his easing its burden, comforting it even and yet even as it did just that, he could feel Montana’s pain, feel the regrets, feel the sorrow for past things but the one thing he didn’t feel was fear, almost as if something or someone had come and taken that fear away. Montana had always felt scared about this moment and now that it was here he seemed at ease almost and Dakota felt it, deep inside of him he felt the acceptance but there was more to it than that too, almost as if Montana now couldn’t wait for the end to come, as if he wanted it to happen.

His eyes grew moist, his hands were now balled up into fists at his side as he saw that look, felt Montana’s heart beating next to his and they spoke without words. He could hear Montana telling him how much he loved him, how proud he was to have him as his younger brother and the tears rolled down his face as he begged Montana not to leave, cried for him deep in his soul for Montana to keep on fighting, to hold on for just another extra second but he knew it wouldn’t be, knew it was asking too much. The tears were trickling down his face as once more he could feel Montana’s presence, feel him invading his very spirit, holding it for a brief second, his arms wrapping around the aching soul and he sobbed now, feeling the love wash thru his whole body, filling every nook, every crevice and his heart thundered now just as it had then, the strength of their love embracing each other within his very soul.

The soft whispered ‘goodbye’ rang loudly within his ears and deep in his heart as he saw the long eyelashes flutter once, then a second time, felt the hand growing cold in his, felt the skin cooling as the last beat echoed inside of his body, and he knew that he had lost the most precious gift of all, feeling the pain reaching into his body, tearing at his heart and ripping his soul and spirit apart into thousands of tiny shards, and yet still his heart beat, still his soul cried, thundering its love. He had thought he’d collapse, that he couldn’t bear what he was seeing and as he felt his legs growing numb, felt his mind darkening and clouding over a strange warmth suddenly began to creep inside of him, warming the coldness of his bones, easing the growing chill that had come to him and he stared at the face in the bed, seeing the eyes closed, seeing the lips shut and for a mere instant, he saw the thin tendrils of pain vanish from the face. The skin was no longer stretched taut, no longer burning with unbearable pain and he saw his brother’s face as it used to be, full of life, full of merriment and his heart grew stronger, the ripping pain suddenly held at bay.

The image in his locker stopped shimmering as the pale yellow light continued to glare in the room, filling it with its eerie shadows but his heart no longer ached, no longer felt like it would be split apart and he saw his hand reaching out, the tip of one finger lightly touching the image of his brother, gently caressing the lips and then he stood up, the pain once more held at bay, once more bottled up inside in the dark empty hole that resided in not just his heart but in his very soul. He stood tall, looking at his brother’s face, knowing that he missed him immensely and that even in death, his brother had shown him, had taught him things that he maybe hadn’t wanted to know, hadn’t wanted to learn but he had. Dakota squared his shoulders, smiled weakly at the photograph, and now he started to think ahead, to wonder if maybe what he had seen in Noah’s face that first day, that first second had been real or just his imagination. The pain was at bay but the fear was still there, different and yet the same as he wiped away one more tear, wondering if he was wrong, if maybe he was reaching for something not there but then he saw Montana’s face, heard his voice deep in his soul, urging him to look beyond the ‘what if’s’, to look towards a future that was his if he wanted it, if he was willing to just stretch out and grasp it.

His hand pulled the old worn windbreaker out and he put it on, feeling the rip in the inside sleeve, feeling it cover his still trembling shoulders as he saw the smile on his brother’s face and he knew that maybe what he had seen in Noah’s face was real, but whether it was or wasn’t there would only be one way to find out. He felt the ache in his heart ease a little in one spot, grow in another as he wondered what tonight would bring for him, but whatever it brought, at least he’d be doing what he had learnt, he’d be trying. With his car keys in his hand he walked out towards the staff parking area and his rendezvous with Noah, his heart no longer filled with pain, instead filled with anticipation and a bit of excitement even.

3:50 p.m.

He sat down at the bench, watching the door to the beauty salon close and his mother no longer in his view. Noah breathed a sigh of relief as she had disappeared inside and he wondered for a second or two why she was getting her hair done here, her normal place was way back near their place and besides, she had her hair done only last week, oh well he thought, shrugging off the peculiarities of mothers. There was no doubt that she was acting kind of weird, had been all week actually and he had thought about it, but not as much as he had thought about today and tonight. Strange, the closer it got for him to head over here, the less sure he was of what he wanted. He knew he wanted sex, least that was sort of what he was sure he wanted, but it was something else that he kept thinking about, kept dreaming about and it puzzled him.

Noah stared down at his feet, the backpack resting between his feet, and as his eyes saw the dark nylon he could feel a sort of hitch in his heart’s beat, the way it sort of just skipped forward a bit. Looking at the pack he wondered for the umpteenth time if he had everything or if he should have gotten more or maybe a different brand? His eyes were distant, his mind dredging up one more fantasy as he sat there, waiting for the slow movement of time and yet his heart was racing, his forehead feeling warm as he wondered if he could do it, if he really could please Dakota or would he chicken out? It was the one fear that kept intruding on him and the whole week had been one mixed with that fear and the other fear, the fear that Dakota wouldn’t even want to try, or be willing to let him try to please him.

It was strange, he had thought that they would spend time together, have lunch, hang out but instead he had barely seen Dakota during the rest of the week, and when they did see each other, Rusty was always there or else someone else was and yet he had to admit, Dakota did smile at him when he could, and the way his eyes looked when he smiled, it was enough to send him into another daydream. Noah had to admit, it had been one of the longest and hardest few days of his life, the way his mind would just wander into a dream, a dream of him and Dakota lying on a beach somewhere, naked, letting the sun tan their bodies and they would only wake long enough to satisfy each other’s desires, a continuing process that never seemed to tire either of them, but then that was the beauty of dreams, reality was never close. As that thought came to his mind, his eyes narrowed a bit and his heart grew silent, as the fear rose once more inside.

Thing was, that he could see how everyone was turning to Dakota, how his locker now was a meeting place, or a bulletin board of notes for Dakota. Strange how some kids just attracted others? Maybe that was it; maybe it was just that he was attracted to Dakota like it appeared every other person seemed to be? Use to be that everyone waited or left notes for Rusty but while that still happened, the majority of attention was for Dakota, everyone, every single girl it seemed wanted to meet him, to talk with him or to walk home or have lunch with him and he had to admit, Dakota kept it pretty cool, still it bugged him and he wasn’t really sure why, unless it was jealousy, as Marvin told him the other day. He laughed it off and yet as he stole a glance at Marvin, when he had said it, he could see that same glassy look in his friends face as he saw in most girls that came around the locker. It was the same look and he wondered what Marvin would say if he knew the truth? If he knew that this evening he would be in bed with Dakota? Would he be angry, would he be sad, would he be happy? Strange, he never thought this way before Monday and now he was.

Time felt like it was standing still as he looked once more at his watch, seeing the slow march of the seconds and yet the pouring sweat on his forehead and on the palms of his hands seemed to take not even a millisecond to soak him. Weird how he could feel detached in some ways and consumed in other ways. His mind was off on several tangents, each one vying for dominance and he could feel a slight tremble in his legs, even his lower lip as his eyes focused on the watch and then the back pack. He had two boxes of condoms, one was the ‘Sheik’ brand, the other ‘Ramses’ and he felt like an idiot when he had bought them, unsure if he had the right ones. The whole shopping trip had been nerve wracking and he wondered how Dakota could have been so casual about getting them, didn’t he get nervous or was it that people naturally assumed someone like Dakota would need them? That had to be it, because he sure was certain that the girl looked at him strange, sort of like she had wanted to ask why would a dork like him need condoms, never mind two dozen of them?

He sighed as he leaned back a little, wiping his palms once more on his denim pants, wishing that time would hurry up and that 4 o’clock would get here. His eyes looked down once again and then he stared out, down the driveway that circled around the cement walk and patio type areas, where benches and tables were placed for shoppers to sit and rest. Still no sign of the car and his heart was starting to beat a little faster as the time crawled forward to that special time. He still wasn’t sure why he was here, why someone like Dakota would want someone like him, after all Dakota could have whoever he wanted, even a straight guy would probably be willing, if he was drunk enough.

Thinking about that suddenly made him think of Rusty, and for a few seconds his mind compared the two boys. Rusty was popular and hot looking, just like Dakota and yet there was something about Dakota that Rusty didn’t have, a sort of mystery to him that made you always take a second look at Dakota. Rusty had a nice smile, all those perfect white teeth, the dimples, even the sparkle in the eyes and yet when you looked at Dakota, the thin lips, the smouldering eyes, it was a totally different feeling, least it was for him and he supposed for everyone else, judging by all the attention they were giving to Dakota. Even Rusty was paying attention to him but it didn’t feel the same as with the others, as if maybe Rusty was just biding his time. For what Noah wasn’t sure, but a couple of times he had caught a strange look out of Rusty, one directed at Dakota and seeing that look had made him suddenly frightened, scared even but he couldn’t explain it, or understand it really. All he knew was that Rusty wasn’t quite what he had first thought him to be, just as Marvin had said for a long time and now Noah was starting to believe it.

Staring down the road he thought he spotted Dakota’s car but as it turned down a different lane he knew it wasn’t and his heart sagged a little and once more he wiped his hands on his pants, feeling the wetness and feeling the fear again. Damn he wished he would just stop worrying so much, feeling so scared about stuff, after all Dakota was the one who had made the first move, he was the one who had shown up at his window that night, had wanted to do it, so why would that have changed? Well for starters he now knew more kids at school, so his brain told him, secondly he had a chance to find out more about him, as his brain continued its litany of reasons why tonight wouldn’t be what he had expected and yet thru it all he could feel the rising excitement in his heart. The way his legs felt itchy and the hands kept sweating, all of it dredging up the fears more but also bringing up strange new visions, visions of him stretched out with Dakota’s long full body on top, his long thick hard cock wedged between Noah’s legs, and their mouths locked in a deep tongue duelling embrace. Those thoughts were more powerful than the doubts his mind conjured up, and as he glanced at the watch he didn’t see the car pull up, and then suddenly he knew that Dakota was there.

His whole face lit up and he even blushed a little as he looked over at Dakota, saw those eyes peering out at him and he felt the slight hitch again in his heart’s beat as he stood up, knowing that his body had already pushed aside his minds fears. He could feel the press of his hard cock against the pants, knowing that he was already hard. Noah saw Dakota smile at him, his eyelashes fluttering and he could see that mysterious glint in those eyes, the look that almost brought him to ejaculation but he fought it, holding it back as he ran towards the car, tossing the pack back into the empty back seat and climbing in, his palms suddenly dry.

4:00 p.m.

Rachael saw the old sports car pull up out front of the grocery store, next to where her son was waiting and she saw his face light up as the car stopped. He looked so happy as he jumped in the car and she felt a heaviness around her chest as the old mustang pulled away, a rather good looking young man behind the wheel, the boy she was certain was Dakota, Noah’s new friend. She didn’t know what she was thinking of when she had made this appointment or even when she had agreed to drive Noah here, hell she didn’t even know why she had agreed to letting him spend the night with his new friend when what she had really wanted to do was lock him in his room. It had taken a lot of self-control to keep her face calm but she had pulled it off, least she had so far. Now the next step, a step she still wasn’t sure about either, wondering if maybe she should just walk out and leave but then she knew in her heart that she couldn’t do that, after all Noah meant the world to her and to Nat, her husband. God, if he found out he’d go thru the roof and so far she was fairly certain she had hid her knowledge from him, but he wasn’t a stupid man, he sensed something was up but she had deflected it so far.

Rosalie “Ms Collins?”

She turned at the sound of her name and was a bit startled to see an older woman, or at least one who looked much older than she had expected. The woman had lines across her forehead and as Rachael Collins stared at her face, she could see a sort of sadness there, something she hadn’t expected. It had taken her almost two whole days to find out who Rosalie was and where she worked, an impulse making her make the hair appointment for today. Her eyes narrowed as she saw the smile, one that was warm and friendly and yet she could see that it wasn’t coming easy for the lady, that despite whatever was going on inside she was trying her best to ignore it and it made her soften her own face, her mind wondering if maybe she should just leave, but something in Rosalie’s eyes made her push that panic thought away.

Rachael “Yes? Oh sorry, I was daydreaming, please it’s Rachael”

Rosalie “Okay Rachael, I am Rosalie, care to come this way and we can start?”

Rachael “Yes, uh, thank you”

Rachael followed the slightly shorter woman towards the back of the shop, her eyes taking in the slow even gait of the Rosalie and she noticed how her shoulders sagged a little, almost as if there was some invisible weight on the lady’s back and she knew instantly that Rosalie knew about her boy, and she wondered if she too would look like that, or would it pass for her, was Noah really that way? Maybe it was just that he was curious, maybe that was it in which case maybe all this would pass but somehow, seeing the way Rosalie moved, she knew that there was a lot more to all this than she had imagined. Fear took hold of her as she sat in the chair, staring at her own reflection and that of Rosalie’s in the full-faced mirror. Rosalie was asking her something, she saw the lips moving but the words were meaningless as the fear and panic rose up, shutting off her ears and closing her mind. Her face grew sombre and grey as she just stared, nodding a little trying to summon up some hidden source of courage but failing as Rosalie smiled at her, a smile that somehow made Rachael feel helpless, feel even a bit angry too.

Her heart was beating a thousand beats a second and the roar was filling her ears as she swallowed, struggling with the emotions that were running in and out of her mind. She wanted to just jump up and head home, to leave all this and ignore it, but in her heart, deep in her own soul, she knew she couldn’t leave it, couldn’t ignore it and as the first spray of warm water hit her head, she knew that she had to say something, that she had to somehow find out the truth. Her eyes grew cloudy, the fear taking hold of her and her silence only was more repressive, more depressing as she felt Rosalie’s hands taking her hair in her hand, holding it out, asking just what it was that she had wanted.

She wanted to scream out, to ask why her son was seducing hers when her eyes were drawn to the small simple silver edged picture frame. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the family picture, the two boys laughing, the small girl in between them both and something about the boys faces, the older one touched her in a way that made her bite her lip. She couldn’t speak as she just looked at the face, the way the eyes looked so unhappy, so sad and yet the other boy, the one she recognized as the boy her Noah was with right now, his eyes looked so full of life, so full of spirit that it was a stark contrast to the other boy and yet as she stared at them, she could feel a sort of strangeness, like they both had a secret and were daring all who looked at them to figure it out. It shook her and she glanced up at the mirror, seeing the way Rosalie was looking at her and then at the picture frame.

Rachael “Uh, your children?”

She had looked towards where Rachael was staring, seeing the photograph that could make her smile or make her cry, depending on how she was at that particular second. She saw the look that most if not all never saw, the look of daring, of mystery that was in both of her boy’s faces. She never had known Montana and she doubted if she really knew Dakota either. They were so much alike and yet so different. Dakota was the quieter of the two boys and yet the more popular in school, or so Montana would say, and yet she knew that no one loved or cared about Dakota more than Montana had. He wasn’t just the big brother, but the protector and teacher and friend all rolled up into one and she had never really noticed that before, never really been aware of how close her two boys were.

Rosalie “Yes”

Rachael “Handsome young boys, uh is it a recent photo?”

Rosalie “No, not really, it was taken, uh last year, sorry”

The softness of Rosalie’s voice grabbed her attention and her eyes lifted up to stare into the mirror, to look into Rosalie’s face and she saw the pain, the hurt that was there and for a moment or two her own heart ached for this stranger, for this unknown person. She recognized the pain as one any real mother would know, would feel and her heart grew silent, wondering what it was that was troubling this lady, this stranger, and yet even as she wondered, she knew what it was. There was no mistaking the agony and grief of a mother in torment for her children, and her own eyes softened as she looked back towards the photograph, seeing the happy faces reflected there but knowing in her heart that it was only a brief moment, captured at a time before now.

Rachael “The boys, the younger one, he has your eyes it seems”

Here eyes were filled with tears and Rosalie felt the shame welling up inside, wondering for a moment if she could continue or if she would have to get someone else to take this new client, but her heart refused to give in to the doubts, to the panic and as she stared into the mirror and then down towards the photograph, the questions inside became more intense. Her worry over Dakota grew as she suddenly realized who this lady was, as the fear that she was once more heading down the same path she had trodden with Montana now rose up fully, taking hold of her spirit and twisting it with its icy fingers. Her face showed no emotion despite the warring battle going on inside as she looked deep into Rachael’s eyes.

Rosalie “You are Noah’s mother, aren’t you?”

 

Chapter 2

’Tuesday’

12:05 a.m.

He lay on the bed, his head tilted to the left as he watched Dakota standing there, their eyes were like lighthouses passing signals pass and forth and he felt a strange exhilaration running through every fibre of his body. It wasn’t happening or so his mind kept saying but it was, Dakota was there, had kissed him and even touched him and now he was standing there, devouring every part of his, Noah Collins, naked body. It was a dream but then no dream he could ever have could come close to what was really happening to him. Dakota really was here, really was looking at him with what had to be love, or so every ounce of his soul kept telling him.

Dakota looked down at the naked body of Noah and he felt a hitch in his breathing, his lungs ached but then every part of his body ached as he looked into the very soul of his locker buddy. He felt like cheering and yet there was a sadness too, a sadness he couldn’t explain as he stared at the milky white flesh of his new friend, wondering what it would be like to rest on top of that steaming flesh. His mind kept asking, his body kept urging and his heart kept goading him further, and his hands seemed to suddenly have a will of their own.

He could feel them reach up and undo the shirt buttons, one by one and he felt his body tremble, but he wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or dread. What would Noah think afterwards, what would he do when he stood there, exposed fully before those powder blue eyes of Noah? Would he be still wanted, would Noah still desire him like he did now or would he turn away in disgust? It had happened once before, and that haunting memory continued to plague him, even though he had long since gotten past it, or so he kept telling himself.

His shirt was finally open and he saw Noah’s eyes widen a bit, as he slowly took the thin shirt off his lanky frame. Dakota stood upright, letting Noah stare at his chest, at the warm golden tanned colour of his skin marred only by the deep maroon colour of his hard nipples. His hands moved up from his waist, his fingers spread wide open as he ran his hand upwards, reaching for one nipple and slightly playing with it as he licked his lips, watching for Noah’s reaction. His own eyes quickly travelled down the quivering body on the bed, staring at the already spent pole that seemed to still have life in it, as it jutted upright from the dark bush of hair of Noah’s groin.

Poor Noah, he thought as he rubbed the hard nipple, so innocent looking and so scared too and yet there was something about him that Dakota couldn’t quite figure out, something that had at first made his heart skip a beat, as he first laid eyes on him. He wasn’t bad looking, he had nice features and maybe was a bit too pale for being a Southern Californian, but not everyone enjoyed roasting their flesh in the hot sun. No it wasn’t his paleness that had him puzzled but the way he would look at him, the way his eyes seemed so trusting, so willing to know more and that was just from this morning, what would they say if he went further than he thought he should? Would they still show trust or would they feel betrayed?

Noah “You don’t have to, I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to Dakota”

Dakota “Do what Noah? What is it you think I don’t want to do?”

Noah “You know, have… have sex with me”

Dakota “Is that what you think? That I am just doing this cause I feel sorry for you or something?”

Noah “I don’t know, maybe…”

Dakota moved closer to the bed, standing closer to the headboard as he stared down at the oval face of Noah. He could see the small drops of tears welling up in each corner; see the way Noah’s nostrils flared as he waited for his, Dakota’s answer. His whole body seemed to be on edge as Dakota let his hands rest briefly at his side, his eyes taking in every shiver, every quiver that Noah’s taut young virgin body made. There was no doubt in his mind that this was the closest Noah had ever come to being with someone, guy or girl and in some ways the idea excited him, but it also scared him even more so.

He had already removed his shoes and so it was easy for him to just unsnap his pants button, lower his zipper and let the faded jeans fall to his ankles, where he just stepped out of them. Dakota stood there, only a pair of faded red shorts holding back his most private part of his body. The thick bulge was evident and he could see the way Noah kept dragging his eyes from the rest of Dakota’s body to stare at the large thick bulge that was held tightly in check by his shorts. His balls ached as he came as close as possible to the bed, his knees resting up against the mattress and he turned a little, so that Noah could see his groin without any obstruction.

Dakota “Does it look like I don’t want to?”

Noah “No, it, no it doesn’t”

Dakota bend down a bit and reached out for Noah’s hand that was resting at the boy’s side. He felt the hot sticky sweat as he wrapped his own fingers around the trembling wrist. His face looked down to see Noah’s 6-inch penis, watching it sway a little as the blood pumped in and out of the hard throbbing pole. He could see a small dap of white near the centre of the tip and he smiled to himself. He took Noah’s hand and brought it up, letting the back of it brush up against his legs, feeling the tiny hairs he had shift and bristle to the sudden touch. Then he turned to look once more at Noah’s face, seeing his eyes transfixed on his own hand as it moved up Dakota’s leg.

Slowly he let it come up, holding it firmly but not too tightly, waiting for Noah’s own desire and curiosity to take hold as he let the hand move upwards, his own breathing becoming anxious as the hand crept upwards, coming closer to the fiery centre of his groin. He felt his legs tremble to Noah’s touch, felt the fires inside beginning to dance and thicken, growing hotter with each passing second, with each strand of hair that was brushed by.

Noah’s breathing was coming in short gasps, as he felt the warm smooth flesh of Dakota’s legs and yet his eyes couldn’t watch, they were too mesmerized by the moving bulge of Dakota’s groin. It looked so big to his eyes, scaring him that what was inside was too huge, to big and yet he wanted it, the ache in his body only grew more intense as his hand moved up the warm leg, feeling the power of the boy who had captured his heart, or so he thought. He was scared, unsure what to do and wishing he knew what to do, what would please Dakota, would show Dakota that he really wanted him and yet all he could do was let Dakota’s hand guide his.

He could feel his tongue licking his parched lips as his eyes bulged open wider as his hand felt the warmth coming from above. His fingers tingled and his hand throbbed a little as slowly Dakota guided his hand further upwards. He struggled with the racing thoughts of his mind, wondering if he should just move his whole hand to that thick pulsing bulge or wait for Dakota to bring it there and before he could decide he suddenly felt the hot fiery material of Dakota’s shorts. It was almost as if they were on fire, and he felt his hand jerk backwards, frightened by the intense heat and yet the hand holding his held him firm, keeping it in place and now he couldn’t hold back any longer.

Noah pushed his hand forward letting his aching fingers touch the thick pulsing bulge. He felt the heat, the fire that he suddenly knew burned inside of Dakota and his eyes moved away from the quivering mound and looked up into the dark brown eyes of the boy standing over him. He saw the flash and felt it strike hard into his very heart, feeling the desire suddenly rising up in his own body and his finger and hand pushed inwards, feeling the massive organ inside. His fingers reached upwards, reaching the waistband and digging inside of the thin elastic. The back of his fingers felt the hot warm smooth flesh inside, felt the coiled muscles of Dakota’s belly and he sighed, feeling like he had just died and gone to heaven. The feelings inside were a jumbled mess of desire, pleasure, fear, and anxiety. Noah had blinked and kept his eyes shut but he couldn’t keep them closed and as he opened them he saw Dakota’s hand resting on top of his own, the dark brown eyes waiting for him and he felt the power of the boy’s patience as he gulped a bit, choking a bit on his own saliva as he let his fingers tighten around the band of underwear and then pull downwards on it.

The underwear gave a bit and before he could realize it, he saw the thick hard pole jumping out at him. It was a deeper red than he thought it would be, and at the tip was a large drop of a milky colour. His eyes bulged as he stared at the angry winking pole that suddenly confronted him. Fear raced thru his whole body and his legs pulled together involuntarily as he stared at the thick hot cock. He was stunned and frightened, never realizing that what he had seen in magazines actually existed, thinking they were exaggerated photos or taken at an angle to make the cock look larger than it really was. Now he knew different and the ache in his buttocks seemed muted now, even though he still felt a strong desire for Dakota.

There was no mistaking the panic that was written all across Noah’s face and he felt suddenly ashamed, for letting this get so far ahead, and yet something inside of him had persisted in letting Noah do exactly what he had. His underwear was hanging just under his full balls, he could feel the threadbare fabric stretching and he saw how Noah’s hands now lay on the bed, his eyes wide open with fear. Slowly he reached down and hesitated for a second, then he pushed the underwear down, stepping out of them carefully, not wanting to rip his only pair of non ripped shorts.

His face turned back towards Noah, the fear still evident as they both looked at each other. Dakota stared at how Noah’s legs were now closed tightly together, the once hard cock not so hard anymore and he knew that he had scared Noah, that somehow Noah actually believed that he had no say in what happened next. Strange, he never really thought about that before, how it was for someone who had never done it, least not at this age. Thinking back he remembered how scared he too had been that first time, but that had been different too, he had been almost 14 then and it didn’t happen the first time for him, they had played first as Gary had called it, so it wasn’t such a shock. Looking now at Noah he knew that he felt pressured, that he was scared of what he, Dakota, would do and he felt a bit saddened by that, knowing it wasn’t reasonable to expect Noah to have much faith or trust in him, but then he was trusting him, letting him know just how much they were alike. That should count for something, shouldn’t it?

Noah felt the sadness coming from Dakota and yet despite that, he still felt the panic in his heart and his mind. The huge pole had to be a foot long and half a foot wide, or so it seemed at first blush, but now, looking at it carefully, seeing the way it moved slightly, he knew it was no more than maybe 7 or 8 inches long, maybe 2 or a bit more thick but still, it looked so damn huge. His hands were sweating and he could feel tiny drops falling from his forehead too as he tried to think of something to say, something to do maybe to let Dakota know how he was feeling, but then how could he? After all he wasn’t sure how he felt. He knew he wanted to be with Dakota, wanted to be something more than just a fuck, but did Dakota want more or was he just horny like most kids their age? What was it that Dakota wanted; hell what was it that he wanted?

Dakota “So can I join you or, I mean, okay if I lay down next to you?”

Noah “Sorry uh, yeah sure… I never, I mean…”

Dakota “Noah I won’t do anything you don’t want, you have to believe me, this isn’t, I mean, shit, I guess I kind of rushed this, sorry”

Noah could hear the sincerity in Dakota’s voice and he felt a bit ashamed for thinking that Dakota would hurt him, would do something that maybe he didn’t want, and he sat up in the bed, moving over a bit as he looked at the way Dakota stood there, one minute the image of him leaning against the lockers flashing before him, then the reality of how he really was, standing there now, uncertain, unsure, even scared a little. It was all confusing to him as he reached out and touched Dakota’s hand, stopping it from reaching down to pick up his fallen underwear.

Noah “I am sorry, I never really, I mean this is so new to me, I have never even been naked like this in front of another guy, please, sit here, please?”

Dakota turned to look at Noah, seeing the honesty there, feeling that maybe he had been wrong, maybe Noah really was just scared but not by a lack of trust, just the whole sex thing. He could see his eyes, tears were close by and that made his heart twitch a little, feeling that Noah still wanted him, but it wasn’t the type of feeling he had ever really felt before, it was the same and yet not. Maybe he was just tired, after all working every night after school, weekends, and going to school and all, but no, there was something different about how he thought Noah was feeling, the vibes were different and he sat down on the bed, moving up towards the headboard, sitting up next to Noah.

Dakota “You have nothing to be sorry for, I should have, I mean, hell I don’t normally do this, I mean, come to a guys house at night and then try to, to, you know”

Noah “Get it on with him?”

Dakota “yeah, suppose that’s one way of calling it, guess I was anxious, its been, hell a year since I been with a guy”

Noah “Oh, I am sorry…”

Dakota “Don’t be, that didn’t come out right anyways, I mean, Noah I don’t care if we never have, you know, sex, I think you are cool, I just wanted to… I mean, I just wanted to give you what you want, I thought you would be, well, that we could be friends if I …”

Noah “You aren’t here because you…”

Dakota “NO! Shit, no Noah, I thought, well when you sort of got carried away at the locker, I kind of thought that if I gave you something to really have instead of what you were thinking, well…”

Noah “That I’d then be your friend?”

Dakota “Yeah, sorry, guess you must really think I am a jerk, it is just, well, I don’t make friends easy, not since… not for a long time”

Noah “I don’t, I guess in a way I was thinking the same, I don’t know, I have dreamed of times like this, just that seeing that… I mean shit, your sister was right, that ain’t no junior whopper”

Dakota “haha, yeah guess that’s true, but Noah, you have to believe me, I wouldn’t do something you didn’t want, honest”

Noah “I know, least I do now, have you… I mean you ever…”

Dakota “Have it done to me? Ride a cock?”

Noah “Yeah”

Dakota “Uh huh, its, well, yeah I have, it was okay, I mean… at the time it was super, the first time was tough, but once he got it in, man, it felt good, sort of, I don’t know, it just felt good”

Noah “Was he, I mean was he as big?”

Dakota “No, not really, but I did have one guy who was, I mean he was pretty big and it didn’t really feel all that different.”

Noah “How many, sorry, none of my business, too nosey for my own…”

Dakota “It’s okay, not really many, six I think, but I had my first just before I was 14, so, I mean…”

Noah “14? How did you… I mean… damn, never mind, sorry, it is just, I could never get the nerve to, not even sure I knew how then, hell not like I know how now”

Dakota “you serious? I mean, never? Not even maybe a blow job?”

Noah “No, nothing, never touched another, never dared actually, guess that sounds kind of pitiful doesn’t it?”

Dakota “No, at times I am not sure I am happy I have or that maybe I should have waited too, I mean what with all the shit going on out there”

The silence was almost deafening in its quiet, and yet both of them needed it, as they became lost in their own worlds of thoughts. Dakota could see Montana’s face before him for a moment, feel the sudden rise of his heart and then it left him, that empty void rearing back up for a moment. Strange how that happened at weird times and then as he started to think about how much he missed his older brother, he felt Noah’s hand reaching out, taking his and interlacing his fingers with his own. He turned to see Noah looking at him, a sort of sadness in his eyes too but the fear was gone, or at least pushed away. The touch of his hand in Noah’s was like a calming breath of wind blowing across him, and he felt his heart stop its shaking and he looked back, taking comfort in the gentleness of Noah’s touch. He was right, he had to be, that there was something very special about Noah, something that he needed to know, to hold and to cherish.

Deep in his soul Noah could feel a strange warmth, the way it seemed to be so hot in places and yet as he thought about it, he couldn’t quite put it into any sort of category. It was like it was brand new for him but he had felt excited before, had fantasized about guys before and yet here he was, sitting naked in bed with someone who was all he could ever imagine and all he could think of was feeling this strange warmth, this new unease. Strange thoughts about him and Dakota came flooding into his mind and at the same time his thoughts couldn’t quite ignore the size of Dakota’s cock. It scared him to think of that long thick pole sliding into his butt but then he also started to wonder just how it would feel, to be filled by that particular pole. He didn’t know what to do really, and as he held onto Dakota’s hand, he was certain that he could feel the same unease coming from the boy next to him. Was Dakota scared too?

Noah “This is weird”

Dakota “Why?”

Noah “Cause, all I could think of all day, and all evening was what it would be like to be with you, and here we are, naked and all I can think about is asking you stuff, when I should, I don’t know, do something”

Dakota “Do what?”

Noah “I dunno, something, I mean, that’s why you are here, isn’t it?”

Dakota “No, I mean yeah I want to do stuff, but, I don’t know, this is kind of nice, never really, I mean with the others, except with, well except for one it was always, I don’t know, sex, then nothing, this is, I don’t know, more of what maybe I want, if that makes sense”

Noah “Not really, don’t you like sex?”

Dakota “Yeah but, I don’t know, it is like each time I’ve been with someone, it’s like something is missing, not all there even though we did everything, you know?”

Noah “No, I am the virgin remember?”

Dakota “haha, you have a weird sense of humour, I like that”

Weird but the way Dakota spoke seemed to strike a chord inside, and he felt the desire starting up again inside, and as he heard the words, the compliment he felt a warmth rushing past his face. He knew he was starting to blush and he could see from the corner of his eye the way Dakota was smiling at him. His thin lips showing a trace of colour, a hint of something and his heart skipped a beat and then another as it felt like just reaching over and hugging him, of holding him in his arms and kissing those pale thin lips, and as the thought raced inside, he felt the heat rise and knew his face was red.

Noah “Great now I am blushing”

Dakota “So? What’s wrong with that?”

Noah “Nothing I guess, uh, you ever done it with girls?”

Dakota “Yeah, it is just different and yet not, the sex anyhow, after is way different, and I don’t know, I’d usually have to jerk off later to feel, well, sort of satisfied”

Noah “So why do it then?”

Dakota “So no one could talk”

Noah “Huh?”

Dakota “So my locker didn’t get written on, you know?”

Noah “oh”

Dakota “Shit, sorry, that wasn’t nice”

Noah “It’s okay, I get it now”

Dakota knew the second he had said it that he had hurt Noah’s feelings and he felt like shit, and yet he also felt that Noah had this weird sense of what it was like to be him, to be thought of in a certain way. That always pissed him off and despite all that Montana had told him, he generally found himself forgetting to keep his mouth shut at these times. Yet even though he had said it, knew it had hurt Noah, he also knew he had to say it, to maybe make Noah see that it wasn’t quite the way he had dreamed, or thought it was. Maybe he owed him that at least.

Dakota “No, you don’t, you have this idea of me, of guys like me, and it isn’t all that you think, we all play our little roles I guess, so to keep who I am secret, keep safe, you have to act or do certain things, if not you are tagged with being weird, I didn’t want that, so yeah I go out with girls, screw em too and that way I keep myself from being hassled”

Noah “Roles? But that’s, I mean it shouldn’t be that way, guys like you are so much, well, so much above that”

Dakota “No, guys like me are in the thick of it, hell everyone loves to knock someone who is thought of as being above them, been thought of as this super cool dude, it sucks, you have to watch everything you say, everything you do, who you talk to or how long you talk to them, no Noah, being a guy like me is, well it’s the shits really”

Noah “I never thought of it that way, guess you are right, I mean here I am thinking about how easy it is for guys like you but I don’t know you, I want to, I really do, and yet I fell like, I don’t know, like maybe I am reaching for something beyond what I deserve”

Dakota “Yeah, I know that feeling, its how I feel about, well about wanting to be with you actually”

Noah “No way, you can’t be…”

Dakota “Yeah I can, I mean I want to be here Noah, not to get my rocks off, but to, well have more than just sex, to have what they write about, to have someone care for me because of me, not who I am in school or what I look like, and I want to feel that for them, I am tired of the games, of having to find a girl and be seen with her just so I can keep up a rep, and it sucks. I really am tired of it all I think, of being this person everyone sees, because that isn’t me”

It was all confusing to him, he had first seen Dakota only this morning and his first thought had been how strong he looked, how self assured he seemed and it was what he wished he could be like, and now here he was, sitting naked in his bed telling him how he wasn’t so sure, so positive. Yet as he heard the words and felt Dakota’s pain, he felt an even closer attraction for him, as if this was something he wanted, to be able to be there for someone and to have someone there for him too. Maybe he had it all wrong, maybe all the pictures in the magazines had dulled him to what he really wanted, and maybe, just maybe Dakota had somehow seen past that, but that was impossible, no one could just see inside a person to know what they needed more than that person, could they?

Noah “Is that why you, I mean is that why you are here? You think I am that person?”

Dakota “Truthfully? I don’t know, I just don’t know but, well, I think so, I can’t explain it, all I know is that I have never felt so hopeful as this morning, I mean you have something, I don’t know, it is like you are real, that at worse we’d be friends, I am kind of tired of having no one to talk to”

Noah “What about your sister or your older brother? Do they uh, I mean do they know?”

Dakota “Yeah, they know.”

Noah didn’t know whether to jump up in joy or cry. There was so much more to Dakota than he had thought, a side of him that he was seeing right now was something he never expected to find in someone as hot as Dakota was, and yet Dakota was right too, he hadn’t gone past the outside, the image and he felt bad about that, wondering if maybe Dakota was seeing something that wasn’t there? Maybe he was shallow like the others only Dakota was so desperate for something desperate he was ignoring that? Course if he really were shallow, why would he care then?

Thinking back about his dreams, many of which continued to suddenly just flash past him as he leaned up against his headboard, holding Dakota’s hand, he realized that what he had been dreaming about was sex, and that right next to him was a choice, to have sex or to have something more. Something that could wind up hurting him more than anything he imagined, or it could give him something so terrific that he would think sex was just a pale image of what he had. Looking at Dakota, feeling his words instead of just hearing them, he realized that he wanted what was being offered, he wanted to be loved not fucked, he wanted to share his life not get his cock just sucked, and he wanted to feel, not for a few minutes but all the time and this might just be that, if he had the courage.

If this was what he wanted, he couldn’t just sit here and be afraid and looking at Dakota, at how he was fighting to hold back his tears, to hold himself in control he realized just how much he really wanted to be with him, to share things with him other than just their bodies. Noah still felt scared by the thought of taking Dakota’s cock up his ass, but it also excited him in a way he hadn’t thought of. There was that something, that strange feeling inside that made him reach out slowly, his hand moving along the top of Dakota’s leg, touching his warm flesh, seeing the semi hard penis stir a little as his hand rubbed lightly on the small tufts of peach fuzz that was on Dakota’s upper leg.

He couldn’t really say much, as his hand moved, feeling the muscles shivering a bit, or so it felt, as his hand gently touched Dakota’s body. His eyes stared at the growing lump of flesh between the legs, seeing the pale colour growing darker as his hand reached up and passed along the wrinkled folds of Dakota’s belly. His eyes could see the way the flowing blood was thickening and stretching the huge pole and they glanced down his own shorter frame to see his own penis growing hard and he even felt the blood rushing inside of him as his heart began to raise its tempo, began to beat a bit stronger and faster as his hand moved slowly across the quivering belly to reach the other side of Dakota’s body, to touch the hard bone of his hip and as his hand wrapped around the waist, it pulled his body over so that his front now leaned into Dakota’s side.

Noah lifted his face up to stare into the questioning eyes of Dakota. He saw the doubts, the questions that rested deep inside of Dakota and smiled a little as he saw the slight tremble to those wonderful pale thin lips. His heart began to race as his face bend forward, his thoughts no longer filled with fear or panic, instead he felt the desire inside being warmed by his need to try and reach what Dakota had said, to reach that spot where there was more than just sex. He closed his eyes, afraid of the sparks that seemed to be lurking within Dakota’s body and he let his mouth press lightly on Dakota’s lips.

The jolt was like a thousand lightning bolts were hitting him at once. His whole body jumped as the soft touch of Noah’s lips pressed up against his own. He felt the fires inside, something he hadn’t felt for a long time, not since that very first time with him, his mentor, his teacher of the facts of life and it felt good, to once more feel those fires inside. Tears rolled down his cheeks as his hands moved from his side to lightly fold around Noah’s trembling body. He could feel the excitement inside of Noah and for a moment he thought he too could feel it inside of himself. His ache for a real touch of another’s soul suddenly eased as his arms tightened around Noah’s body and he began to press his mouth harder against Noah’s. His lips moved apart as he felt and tasted even the sweet fragrance of mint, knowing it had to be the toothpaste that Noah used, the same that he knew from a time when life had seemed so much easier.

Noah felt the lips parting under the press of his mouth and without even realizing it he could feel his tongue unwrapping from within his mouth, pushing out past his own lips now to run lightly across those thin lips that just seemed to flash before his vision, even though his eyes were locked tight. He shuddered as he tasted the salty flesh of Dakota’s lips and then felt the hot breathe surrounding his probing tongue. Noah held his breath as he felt the warm breath caressing the moist tip of his tongue, and in that instant he felt his whole body suddenly tremble, as if awakening from a deep long sleep. He felt muscles move and coil that he didn’t even know he had and every nerve in his body suddenly rang out, testing his entire system, giving him a feeling of pins and needles that made him shake in eager anticipation.

His hand moved down now, as his tongue darted quickly inside, past the teeth and open lips. His whole body was suddenly aching and for a brief instant, just a slight pause, he was certain there was another heart beating next to his own but as his hand moved down to feel the rising hear from Dakota’s groin, his mind rebelled, shocked by the sudden jolts of pleasure that were inundating his whole system. He felt his eyelids flutter as his body pushed inwards, wanting to mould itself to Dakota’s own long lanky frame. He felt the body next to his shift, and move a little, the body sinking away in one spot and yet coming closer in others as Dakota moved to turn into Noah’s own insistent body.

Dakota’s tongue began to tickle at the probing tip of Noah’s, his body started to shake and move inwards, his groin began to ache and he could feel the fire in his belly as Noah continued to touch him with one hand, hold him with the other and kiss him. It was all like it should be and yet deep down inside he knew there was more, more that he needed and more that he wanted to give, but could he? The fears he had carried with him for so long were there, more powerful than ever before, and yet as he felt Noah’s tongue reached deep into his mouth, tasted that flavour that he would come to know as being Noah, the doubts kept tugging at him, kept depriving him of all he wanted and needed. His soul ached as hard if not harder than the physical ache of his throbbing cock. He felt it stiffen, felt it grow harder than it had for a long time and yet as he turned, he felt like it would only end what was beginning, not further it, but end it.

Noah felt the twisting body getting closer to his own, the dull throbbing ache in his groin became sharper with each deep breath that he took and he wondered what it would be like to feel Dakota buried deep into his body or what it would feel like for him to be buried deep into Dakota’s warm supple body? So many questions and so many new feelings he wasn’t sure if he could measure up. The idea of being someone special, of being thought of as someone worthy of love was new to him. He hadn’t ever thought about himself that way, he had hoped sure but never really believed it could happen and sure as hell not with someone like Dakota. The way he felt to his touch, the way his breath just seemed to invade every pore of his insides, all of it was something he hadn’t even had the courage to dream about. This was unreal to him as he felt the wet hot cock head hit his upper leg. He knew it was Dakota’s cock and he felt the panic rising inside, felt the fear coming forward once more and he stopped for a brief second, not even that, but in that instant he could hear the pain in Dakota’s voice, hear him speak about not wanting to hurt him and the fear suddenly vanished, replaced by a sudden desire to know more about the boy in his arms.

His body shook as he pushed himself even closer, forcing Dakota’s long thick cock to slide down and wedge itself just under his once again full balls. He felt the hot thick pole sliding past them, the sticky pre cum coating the bottom of his sac, and he sighed, feeling like, well like this was something so much more than what he had ever thought sex could be. It was different in that this time he didn’t even think about what it would be like to be with someone, instead it was more of wondering what it would be like in ten or twenty years when he and Dakota made love, as if he knew in some dark secret place of his soul that Dakota would be his forever, and he his. The warmth grew hotter and yet at the same time it cooled him, easing the panic of feeling that long thick pole rubbing between his legs, driving him crazy and he knew that when it finally did enter his body it would be a sensation that he would never want to end, not now, not then, not ever.

The touch of his hard throbbing pole against the leathery pouch of Noah’s balls made his heart suddenly stop, as if it was waiting for the pleasure he was feeling to suddenly be taken away, and for a mere flash of an instant he was sure it would end, and then suddenly he felt the press of Noah’s body into his, more urgent, more powerful than ever and his heart was amazed, stunned even and he gasped for air as he struggled to understand, struggled to make sense of the boiling emotions that suddenly came bubbling up from deep within. He could hear that voice telling him that one day he would find someone who wanted him, the person and not the perfect stud image that people had of him, and when that happened he would feel overwhelmed and that as much as he would try, the feeling would never end, never leave him and that each time he touched his special friend, each time they would meet, it would be a lesson in love that he would never tire of learning. Funny, he had never believed it possible, and when life had intruded to take that one person who knew his heart so well, he had never believed that what he was feeling now would ever happen, but it was, just as he had said and tears rolled faster down his cheek as his body grew hotter, his desire came up in waves that did overwhelm his mind.

He felt the body shuddering as his body continued to press into the other and he could feel the sweat dripping between their bodies as his tongue dove deeper down into the long narrow throat. He could feel Dakota’s breath filling his own lungs as he pushed his body inwards even harder, feeling the hot hard skin of Dakota’s cock pushing up against his balls, pressing the full sac into the root of his own throbbing cock. All 6 inches were buried up along the rolling muscles of Dakota’s belly and he could feel them coiling and shaking to his touch. It was all so surreal even as he could hear himself breathing, panting even and he knew that Dakota was puffing too, as if they were too animals and yet there was something tender too about the way they held each other, even as their mouths seemed locked in a titanic struggle over which tongue would hold control. He could feel Dakota’s tongue as it licked and tickled the underside of his own probing tongue. He felt and tasted Dakota, feeling the strange taste drive his body even faster, drive his hips forward in a strong crushing motion, at the same time forcing Dakota’s hard thick throbbing pole to move upwards into his balls, forcing his body to shake and shudder to its fiery touch.

Everything was spinning around in his head, dots and flashes of pin point lights passed across his vision as his whole body shook, screaming out in pure agony from being held back and as he struggled with those wild thoughts, he felt Dakota’s fingers digging into the flesh of his lower back. The fingers digging hard into his body, the pain almost unbearable and yet he knew that he wanted more, that his own fingers were pressing in just as hard. His legs were like thick steel girders as he swung one over both of Dakota’s shuddering limbs. He felt the fire touch him deeply inside as his leg pressed down, pinning Dakota down and his tongue stopped for a brief pause, too long really as it was suddenly pushed aside by the tingling top of Dakota’s tongue.

Nothing seemed real to him now as first there were spots of lights, all sorts of lights of all colours and then he could see the shadow figure of Dakota leaning against Rusty’s locker, then suddenly he could see that smile, more dots, more flashes and he grew frightened as his mind simply shut down. There was a distant roar in his head that was growing as his body continued to press, continued to shake and shudder and all the time all he could think about was that Dakota had said he had something special, that he wasn’t like the others, and his body suddenly seemed to float. For a mere moment in time he couldn’t feel anything but a sort of floating feeling, like he was suddenly being lifted up in the air, that a gust of wind so strong had taken hold of him. His legs no longer had any feeling and his hands were numb as he struggled to breathe.

It had been a long since he felt like this but then it wasn’t like this then either, it had been different and yet not. Dakota felt confused and yet felt like this was something he had always desired, always wanted, and now his search seemed to be over because this was it, this was how it should be as his body continued to fill his mind with strange but familiar sensations. Something was happening to him and for a brief second his eyelids opened, he saw the face before him, so close that he could see every pore, every tiny little blemish or hair even. His eyes took it all in and yet they were only open for less than a second. He could see the way the soft white flesh of Noah’s nose flared and puffed out as he tried to breathe, he could see the tiny little nose hairs just barely noticeable under the one flaring nostril, he could also see the long thin eye lashes, the way they fluttered from the hot breath that seemed to be between them, like a cushion of air that kept them from crushing each other. The lips were crushed up against his own and yet even as his own tongue was pushing out and into Noah’s mouth, his brief look had shown him the deep purple red of that hot wet organ, the one that was still tasting him, still reaching around to lick at the very inside of his own cheeks. All of it he saw in that brief glimpse and as it all registered inside, he felt the sudden press of his balls, felt their urgent push upwards and he groaned; the sound barely audible as Noah’s mouth eagerly opened up wider, sucking in the very words along with Dakota’s darting thick tongue.

He tasted the strange taste, marvelling at its sweetness and then its saltiness. Dakota could feel Noah moaning but he heard nothing but the roar of his heart as it pushed him further, forcing his own body to meet the urgent press of Noah’s hot sweaty young body. He felt the hard hot cock climbing up his belly, only a small amount of pre cum helping to push it along, and he could feel his own pre cum oozing out, coating the underside of Noah’s balls and even further back, coating the tiny warm moist spot where Noah’s 6 inch cock grew from. He shuddered thinking about that, wondering what it would taste like, wondering how it would feel to have his own milk mixing with the warm hot sweat that now pooled there? Every part of his body suddenly seemed to be burning and the ache in his groin was starting to overwhelm him, as he pressed harder into Noah’s own pressing body.

Noah’s body was pressing hard and suddenly he could feel Dakota’s hand holding his bucking hips, pulling him closer, pulling him on top and he cried out as his hard pole went pushing further up on Dakota’s full body. His lungs ached from lack of air but he didn’t care as he gasped for air, his mouth swollen by the thick tongue now reaching inside of it, now pressing up against the very back of his throat and he gagged a little on the raspy tongue that was tasting him. He couldn’t explain it, his mind no longer able to even tell which feeling was coming from where, all he could see was strange dots, strange flashes of light as his body heaved, and his cock grew harder, grew hotter and he felt his own hands wrapping around Dakota. His legs were on top now, his mind drawing a blank as he felt a fire licking at his very soul, lighting it and burning it

His arms were numb as he shivered a bit, then he felt the growing thunder inside, felt the blood leaving his head, leaving his toes even as they curled upwards, cramping even and yet he couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was all too much, despite all he had done during the evening, he couldn’t stop the rising press of his balls against his cock, and it was almost as if Dakota’s own stomach was holding his cock, was surrounding it from deep inside of his skin and he felt the sweat rolling down his heaving chest as he tasted more of Dakota’s tongue, feeling it press deep down into his throat.

Nothing he could do could stop him, his head reared back and they broke apart as his groin exploded into a million pieces or so it seemed. The fire within didn’t die down or even stop from burning him deeply as he felt his whole body collapsing. His legs tightened their hold on the thick throbbing pole between and yet his whole lower body was shaking, moving as if it had simply exploded. Noah could feel the jerking flash of his cock head, feel it shake as it suddenly reared back and then in that same instant press forward like a speeding bullet. The heat was too much as he felt his body surrender to his desire, felt the hot cream come boiling out from deep in his scrotum, his hips suddenly squeezing his own body tightly as his cock blew apart.

A hot stream of milk came flying out from the detonating head of his cock, showering them both with its thickness and its warmth. A strange new scent permeated the air around them as he breathed it in deeply, as best as he could as he felt his buttocks squeezing downwards, his hips inwards, his groin upwards and he knew that his cream was coating the heaving torso beneath him, as well as his own. His eyes blinked, seeing reds and greens, feeling nothing but a strange new warmth in his whole body, or at least in the parts he could feel.

He shuddered and moaned as his cum came flowing out in one strong stream. Noah could even fell Dakota’s heart beating now, feel it thundering in his chest as his own heaving body rested on top. His hands were numb, laying to the side of his still quivering body, his legs were like taut bands of steel, stretched to their breaking point and beyond and in the middle of it all he could feel the hot pole, feel the burning flesh that lay between his legs. He knew in that second what he needed, the fear no longer stopping him.

Noah “Take me Dakota, please, give it to me now”

The voice was penetrating, urgent even if not plain desperate. His whole body was still shaking, still reeling form the hot stinging splash of Noah’s cum and his body was in shock, unsure of what to do as he felt the hot cream burning his chest, mingling with their sweat, pooling between their still heaving bodies.

Dakota “Noah… you…”

He could hear his own voice, his own pleading voice but that was so long ago or so it seemed, he couldn’t be hearing that again and yet he knew in his heart it was his voice, then he heard the other voice, not Noah’s, but HIS voice and he grew frightened.

Noah “Don’t, don’t speak, please, oh God, I want it inside, I want to feel it, please Dakota”

Dakota “Where are the condoms, God, I need a condom, where are they?”

Didn’t Dakota understand? He couldn’t wait, he needed to feel that hot pole between his legs inside of him, he couldn’t wait, he needed it now, to feel it spread his rectum open and fill him with what he needed. The urgency of his desire was too much, tears from fear that the moment of his courage would pass spurred him on, urging Dakota to give him what he so desperately needed, what they both urgently needed.

Noah “Forget them, God, take me now, while, shit please… I need you inside, I have to feel it now, please…”

Dakota “NO, I can’t, where, there has to…”

Noah “NOW God Dakota NOW PLEASE!”

Dakota “NO! NO I WON’T”

He had no idea how he found the strength or the courage but his hands were up and he had pushed Noah off his heaving body. The cum was still moist in places as he jumped out of the bed. His lungs ached as he struggled for air, struggled to breathe and yet as he did, he also knew that this was their moment of truth. He couldn’t do what Noah wanted, not if he cared for him, not if all he had already gone thru was to have any meaning and he prayed for the words, knowing that this would be his only chance for a life that he had always hoped for.

The sudden force of Dakota’s hands startled him, he didn’t know what was happening, one second he was begging to have Dakota inside of him and now he was suddenly pushed away, pushed aside and tears welled up, fear took hold even as the anger started to grow deep inside of him. What had he done? Hadn’t Dakota wanted to do it only a short time earlier? Why was he now being punished, was it because he had cum too early again? He couldn’t hold back and his voice was high and frightened as he tried to recapture that moment.

Noah “Please, Dakota I am sorry, please, I want you, I mean it, I am not afraid anymore, please, come back, take me, put it in me now, please…”

Dakota could barely breathe, his lungs ached so much and the sweat was slowly stopping, the room’s night air cooling him as he felt the chill now. His body shivered as he turned to see Noah sitting up on the bed. He saw the way he looked, terror filling the soft white face as he spoke, the truth of his words clearly evident in how his whole body seemed to be shaking. He knew Noah didn’t understand, didn’t realize what he had asked and he too wasn’t so sure that he understood. Looking at Noah, seeing his face, the tears, he knew that as much as he didn’t understand it all, he had done what was right, now all he had to do was try to explain it.

Dakota “I want to, Shit you don’t know how much I want to, but I can’t, not without a condom, I just can’t.”

Noah “But I am clean, honest, I have never been with someone, never, not a girl, not a guy, no one, please, don’t you believe me? Oh God, please Dakota, you have to believe me!”

Noah was resting on his hands, his body leaning forward as he sat on the bed, his legs under him and he could feel lost, feel desperate as he struggled to figure out what it was that had made something so wonderful suddenly turn so cold, so empty. What had he done?

Dakota “I do, it isn’t that, it’s me, I have been with others, you know that, I can’t, don’t you see? I couldn’t live with myself if, don’t you know that I care? Christ I want to feel you so badly, look, can’t you tell? I am shaking, I am sorry, I can’t do it, not this way, not like this”

Noah “I trust you, please, I don’t care about who you have been with, I need you Dakota, please, fuck me… please… make me yours, take me, please”

Dakota “NO! No, no matter how much I want to, how much you do, I can’t, not without protection, not again, never again Noah, I can’t”

Noah “Again? Dakota what, I am clean I swear it, I couldn’t get anything, I have never been with anyone, please, why won’t you believe me? Don’t you want me? I’ll do it anyway you want, please…”

It was like listening to himself almost three years ago, or was it less? He couldn’t remember now, even though at times it seemed like it had only been yesterday but he knew it wasn’t that soon nor was it that long ago either. He shivered more as the anger took hold but not anger of hatred, or of disappointment, but instead an anger borne out of what he thought was love, at least he hoped that was it.

Dakota “STOP IT! Damn it, stop it, don’t you get it?”

Noah “No, I don’t… FUCK! Are you? I mean…”

It was like a light had suddenly gone on, he could see it in Noah’s face the way he had stammered for a minute or two, then the way his face suddenly grew chalk white. He could see it written all over his young face, in his eyes, in the way he suddenly held himself even.

Dakota “Positive? No, I am not, but…”

Noah “But? If you aren’t, then why won’t you? I mean is it me?”

Dakota “No, Christ you are everything I want Noah, can’t you see that? It is because you are that I can’t, because if anything was to happen because I gave in and didn’t use a condom, I have seen it Noah, I have seen how knowing that can ruin a person, can make them hate themselves and make them… trust me Noah, if you really do want me, then it can wait till we get some protection, or are you afraid that you won’t want me later?”

Noah “No, I want you later, I want you now too”

Dakota “You can’t have me now, I can’t, not if I meant what I said”

Noah “Said?”

Dakota “That I wanted more than sex, if that was the truth, then you can’t have me now, it would make that a lie, I want no lies between us… I couldn’t handle that, don’t you see?”

Noah “No, but it isn’t you who, I mean how can me wanting you make what you said a lie?”

Dakota “Cause, caring for a person isn’t about giving them what they ask for, its giving them what is real, giving them more than what they think they want.”

The tears were rolling down his face as he turned away from Noah. He couldn’t bear to look at him, to see the disappointment in his eyes or the fear in his face either. He really did care for him, he didn’t know really why he felt the way he did but the pain in his heart was too much for him. He couldn’t stand seeing pain, seeing such disappointment and he took a step forward, started to bend down to pick up his fallen underwear, thinking that maybe it would be best if he left, if he just went away so as not to cause Noah anymore grief.

Noah saw Dakota bend, his heart suddenly felt like it would break into a million pieces. He didn’t understand what had happened but something inside of him was alive now and it struggled to raise its voice within, to guide him but it was fighting with his mind, feeling the anger inside as well as the frustration. It wasn’t right, he had done what he thought Dakota had expected, had wanted and yeah he did want to have him inside, to feel that monster dick slice into him so why was he leaving? He saw the threadbare underwear in Dakota’s hand, and in that second he knew this was his last chance, and he jumped off the bed, racing towards Dakota’s bent frame.

Noah “Don’t, please…”

Dakota “I think I should Noah, I am sorry, I didn’t want to…”

Noah “What? What didn’t you want to do?”

Dakota “hurt you… I am sorry”

Noah “If you put those on and leave, then you will be hurting me”

Dakota looked up, his eyes brimming with tears as he looked into Noah’s face, and he saw that Noah was telling him the truth. He didn’t know what to do; his heart ached, as he felt torn, uncertain about all that had happened. His body shook and then he felt Noah’s hand on his arm, pushing it down a little, and he stared at Noah. He let the arm holding his underwear drop to his side and then he watched as Noah reached down and took the thin pair of shorts out of his fingers.

Noah felt how threadbare the shorts were and he glanced down at them, and then he brought them up to his cheek, crushing them against his face and he breathed in deeply, letting the thin fabric brush against the side of his face. He then reached out and took Dakota’s hand into his and brought him closer to him. He let the underwear fall to the floor between them and he noticed how Dakota watched them fall and then raise his head, to look questioningly into Noah’s face.

He put both hands on the sides of Dakota’s face, his fingers brushing aside the falling tears and then, keeping his eyes open, he bent his face to the side and very lightly he let his lips brush up against the trembling pair of Dakotas. His heart roared and then settled back down at the moment their two mouths touched and he could taste the salt from Dakota’s tears mingling with his own. Strange, but he felt happy right now, pleased even as he let their two faces pull back apart. His jaw softened as he stared into the dark chocolate eyes that had so mesmerized him earlier in the day and he could feel the power that lay behind them. He knew he wanted to feel that power, that desire but that it would have to be in its own time, not when he thought it was right, but when the power itself did and somehow he knew that wasn’t far off.

Dakota “Noah…”

Noah put his fingers to Dakota’s lips, hushing him and then he smiled, a small smile but one that made Dakota quiver all over. He then led him back to the bed, and then as Dakota climbed in, he pulled the sheets up and walked slowly towards his bedroom door, where the light switch was. With a flick of his fingers he turned off the lights and came carefully back to the bed where he climbed in under the covers to snuggle next to Dakota’s tense and waiting body. He put his arms around him, and rested his head on the broad shoulder of Dakota, feeling the warmth once more invade his whole body.

“Thank you Dakota” was all he said as he closed his eyes, listening to Dakota’s breathing and then after a few moments, he felt Dakota place his arm over his back and bring his hand to rest over his own shoulder, that laid across the beating chest of Dakota. Noah breathed in deeply, smelling the scent of his body and that of Dakota’s as well, feeling like they were meant to be together. His heart no longer felt uneasy as he listened to Dakota’s heart beating, feeling each steady even beat. He snuggled in closer, feeling Dakota’s arm pulling him in as well and he felt the peace of knowing that he was finally loved.